My Everything

He was my everything. He was my best friend. He was the most attractive man I had ever met, or will ever meet. He was kind and gentle where others were merciless. He was strong and brave where I was fraught with cowardice and fragility. He found virtue in things other people hated me for. He cared about me. At least… I thought he did.

That cat… that wretched cat… curse him and his pretty bone structure, healthy complexion, and masculine face. Curse his social skills, physical strength, and energy. What kind of friend are you, Ike, leaving me like this to run off with eye candy?

I was standing on a bridge when I first caught sight of Ike's lover. Ike kissed Ranulf gently as I stood aback, tears welling in my eyes, my heart breaking. I choked out a sob and ran away. I don't know if Ike saw me, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't.

The next morning, Ike had left me a note. It read:

Dear Soren,

I am going off to far off lands today. Do me a favor and make new friends. You are really a great guy and I don't know why anyone would refuse to be your friend. Unfortunately, I'm not going to be around anymore. Ranulf and I are eloping, and surely you must understand that I can't bring another friend along. Now, that just wouldn't be right.

Please don't take this the wrong way.

--Ike

"Make new friends?" How could he expect me to do that? I was shy, a shrinking violet, and even when I mustered the courage up to talk to people, I always said things that made them hate me. The only people who wanted to be my friends were sanguine humanists like Stefan, complete morons like Skrimir, and Ike. But apparently Ike didn't care anymore.

"Don't know why anyone would refuse," huh? Then why are you eloping with Ranulf instead of me? Surely you knew how much I loved you. Surely you knew I thought of you as more than a friend. I am such an idiot for thinking you felt the same about me.

I burst into tears upon reading the letter. "Don't take this the wrong way" indeed. I decided to rush to the harbor in hopes that they hadn't taken off yet. They hadn't—I was lucky, so to speak.

"Ike," I begged with tears in my eyes, down on my knees, "Please… please don't leave me…"

Ranulf looked shocked at Ike and said, "You never told me you and Soren were together!"

"We aren't…" Ike said, and then he glared at me. I continued to cry, withering below his lethal stare.

"Please, don't leave me. You mean everything to me! You were the only boy who ever showed me unconditional kindness! Don't take that away… don't… abandon me like my parents did…" I wept. I knew that Ike would say no and that my heart would shatter completely, but on the off chance he said yes, I needed to risk it.

"Soren," Ike said, far more sympathetically then he had a second ago. He put his hands on my cheeks and lifted up my head, "You are taking this the wrong way! I thought that you were better… I thought you'd be able to handle life without me constantly escorting and protecting you…"

"If you leave me, I swear by Ashera and by Yune that I will die of a broken heart. That's a promise!" I shouted.

Ranulf looked at me and then back at Ike. He said, "Maybe this is a bad idea…"

"Nonsense!" Ike shouted, "Soren's just bluffing."

"Did you think I was 'bluffing' when I told you about my past? Was I 'bluffing' when I reminded you that you saved me? Have I ever lied with the intent of making you more worried about me?" I asked, and I realized how bitter I must have sounded.

"Soren," Ranulf said, "Get help."

"Get help?" What kind of help could I get? I've never been too fond of the process of talk therapy, and without Ike I wouldn't be able to even stomach it. It's been discovered that if you mix some Olivi Grass into Pure Water, you get some sort of antidepressant which I would try, except it's been known to have weird side effects on herons and on Branded mages (incidentally, it might have been funny at one point to trick Micaiah (who isn't even depressed) into taking it). And of course, avoiding red meat is why I'm a 90-pound-weakling with an extreme case of anemia.

Something all of the sudden snapped in Ike's brain. "Soren's still depressed," he said, "And I'm not going to leave him until I know for sure he's better."

No, I thought, I don't want you to ever leave me.

Ike took care of me for several years afterwards. He eventually did elope with Ranulf, but by that point, the antidepressant had been fixed so that it only had side effects on Branded heron mages (I still want to trick Micaiah, actually).

But even though I was able to cope through the rest of life, the fact remains I did nothing but study for pleasure. I was never able to find someone as wonderful as Ike, nor was I ever able to find Ike again. Every night I would pray for his safety, and pray that Ranulf was as good to him as I would have been. Every night I would curse Ranulf's victory and my defeat, and gloat over Aimee that Ike had found true happiness. My only wish is that it was with me… but beggars can't be choosers. I still had my fantasies, my dreams, and my memories of Ike. And for what it's worth, that isn't that bad. I had been without Ike for years earlier… what's a few more? What's a few more decades? I will always love him.

Author's Note: Excluding the title and the author's notes, this story is exactly 1000 words long.

In case you're confused by the "antidepressant recipe" and whom it chooses to have side effects against, it's herons and Branded mages because Olivi Grass is used to transform laguz, and Pure Water is used to protect units against magic attacks. Magic + Laguz = herons and Branded mages.