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This little jewel is from another inspiring incident that just happened. Since I feel compelled to write yet another JtHM parody, you better read it! GIR!
****************************************************************************************** Disclaimer I don't own Rev. Meat, or Nny or any JtHM similarities!
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"You don't have at' quote every time hon' "
---Demolition Cat
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$$$ Prize Control $$$
It was just another boring day, or may I say morning (3:30 in the morning) at the address of 777, yes 777 no street just the address of 777. Johnny had gone out for the evening which left our kind sidekick Rev. Meat home alone. He was enjoying his quiet solitude on the counter.
"Hmm…..Ex. Long Cheese Corney with chili?", Rev. thought out loud looking at an ad.
"What makes them better than burgers?"
He had been resting for most of the evening after a week of mental support for our beloved insomniac. Taking time to get to know the Me in Meat. He was quite a loveable guy that Rev., well you really had to get to know him first, he is kind of like a little puppy, {EWW…….that was wrong!}. Any who! Tonite the unsuspecting Meat would be pushed to the breaking point, somewhere no human or burger boy should be forced to go…….. Hell.
"Nny sure has been out for a' some time now." Rev. observed.
He looked over his shoulder at some of the kitchen utensils and appliances.
"Blender, knifes, toaster, microwave, phone."\
Ironic , he could think of weird horrendous ways of torturing people, with all the other stuff but, why a phone there's nothing evil about a frickin phone!……but tonite his mind would be changed.
Brinnng……….. Brinnng………..Brinnng!
His mind immediately flashed over to the noise that seemed to be insensibly bothering him, that was the phone. Rev. turned and picked up the receptor.
"Hello?" Rev ignorantly stated.
And with that began the demonic night filled with depressing………………………..well, read on.
"Hi! Is this the occupant of 777?" a cheery voice pronounced.
"Well not exactly you see……" Meat tried to say.
"Then you have qualified yourself for a 0% A.P.R………:"
[My lord! Rev. thought to himself, what sort of creature is this!?!]
"Umm I think you don't quite under………."
" All you have to answer these few questions to instantly be qualified for the semi-semi-semi-semi-Finals.
"I am not really that……"
"Do you like milk?"
"Well, yes but……."
"Do you eat fast food?"
"Actually I'm a bur……"
"Do you like scary goosies?
"Now what the Hel……"
"How much do you weigh?"
" I guess 10 oz. but…….."
"If you would like to continue for bonus savings please….."
[How do I escape this nightmare someone help me!]
"Very well you have chosen to continue with the questionnaire."
NO, I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR TORMENT HOLY $#%*@!%" Do you consume chicken…..''
"I don't eat F****** chicken!"
"0 times a week."
"No."
"1-2, times a week."
"No."
"3-4 times a week."
"No."
"Thank You, you have completed the survey for Burger King."
"Burger King?"
"Your five dollars are on the way."
"Bye."
Click!
"Burger King?"
"Burger King?"
"Burger King?"
[Hehe]
For the rest of the night and into the morning Reverend Meat stayed huddled into a fetal position till his mind could begin healing over the assault of the unholy beast.
In the days the that followed this experience Nny was out getting the mail.
"Hey Rev. we got five dollars in the mail…..FROM BURGER KING!"
"EEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!" ………….
{Sorry, but I have to do this…………}
Then, Spiderman flies bye………………
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Note: IM SO SO SO SORRY ABOUT BUT I COULDN'T RESIT. Watcha think about it please give me a review and read my other junk along with it I think you would like it, too!
---Fennec Fox