During an outing with Emma, Hook starts to suffer from an allergic reaction and Emma does her best to take care of him and help him through it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I'm merely borrowing them for my own amusement.

Warnings: Adult Themes

Spoilers: Spoilers for up to the Season 3 finale.

Author's Notes: This story was originally written before Season 4 aired and was supposed to take place shortly after the end of Season 3. Then it turned out that Season 4 started immediately after Season 3 ended, so just because of how the story was written and how Season 4 turned out, I want to say that it should actually take place during Season 4 between episodes 3 and 4. Because of these circumstances though, there won't be any mention made of any events that happen during Season 4 except for a few small details that are pure coincidence and there is some stuff that contradicts events some stuff from Season 4 a bit as well.

"Where exactly are we going?" Hook asked after Emma had stopped for the fifth time to look around. They had been wandering through the woods for at least twenty minutes and he was starting to get impatient.

"I told you, it's a surprise. I'll find the place soon, don't worry." Emma examined her surroundings once more before she started walking again. "Just try to enjoy the forest. How often is it that we get to do this sort of thing without it being because we're chasing some enemy, running from them, or rescuing someone?"

Hook grinned. "I'm pretty sure the answer to that question is never."

"Exactly," said Emma, "so try not to take it for granted."

Hook sighed. "I've never much been one for forests. It would be easier to enjoy myself if we were on a ship on the open sea. Just the two of us with the wind blowing though our hair. I'd throw you down on the deck and-" he stopped short as Emma punched him playfully in the arm. "Well you can't blame a man for dreaming."

Emma just rolled her eyes in response. She stopped to look around once more. "Hey I think it's there, just up that path." When they reached the end of the path it opened up into a wide clearing full of wildflowers. It was surrounded on three sides by the forest, but the side opposite of where they entered was open to a wide stream. "Yep this is the place."

Hook took a look around and smiled. "I must admit it is quite lovely, though not as lovely as the company I'm with."

"Granny told me about this place. She said it was the perfect getaway for lovers," Emma replied with a smirk on her face.

Hook chuckled. "Did she now?"

"Yeah, she's a bit of a Yenta."

"What's a Yenta?" Hook asked with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Yenta is a character in a movie called Fiddler on the Roof. She was a matchmaker," Emma explained.

"I see. And why was there a fiddler on the roof?"

Emma laughed. "I'm not sure. I think it was supposed to be some sort of metaphor. We can watch the movie sometime if you want."

"I don't know," said Hook uncertainly. "All of the movies you've shown me thus far have left me quite bewildered. I couldn't make much sense of those Back to the Future movies you showed me. Though the plot of part one bared an eerie similarity to what we went through when we went back in time."

"Yeah, that's why I wanted you to see it. It was freaky."

"And those Pirates of the Caribbean movies weren't very historically accurate. I should know, I was formerly in the British Royal Navy. And that Captain Jack Sparrow was utterly ridiculous. He would not have survived for very long in the real world."

"The part about pirates wearing eyeliner sure was accurate," Emma muttered under her breath.

Hook narrowed his eyes. "What was that?"

"Nothing. Look, they were meant to be entertaining, not educational." She couldn't believe he was getting hung up on movies right now. "Ok enough talk, come on." She took Hook's hand and they walked to the center of the clearing where she then lay down on the ground.

"What's wrong?" Hook asked. "Are you feeling ill?"

Emma laughed. "I'm fine. Come lie down next to me." She patted the ground next to her.

"Oh I see." He grinned and started to unbuckle his belt.

Emma rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. Just lie down."

Looking confused Hook refastened his belt and lay down next to her. "What exactly did you have in mind then?"

"Haven't you ever gone cloud watching?" she asked.

"Only when at sea to judge when a storm was coming and how severe it would be, but never as a recreational pursuit," Hook answered.

"Well it's a fun way to relax, to just lie back and watch the different shapes the clouds make as they go by. Sometimes they even form the shape of objects or animals. See that cloud there looks a bit like a rabbit." Emma pointed to a cloud a bit to their left.

Hook looked where she was pointing and the cloud did indeed look a bit like the head of a rabbit. He was skeptical though as to how this could be considered fun, but he would try anything for her.

Emma saw the look of doubt on his face. "If you do this with me for a little while we can go skinny dipping in the stream afterwards. I think it might be deep enough to swim in."

"Skinny dipping?"

"It means going swimming with no clothes on," she explained.

"Oh! Yes I think I'd be most agreeable to that." He flashed her one of his devilish grins and Emma laughed knowing he was now picturing her naked. They both pointed out a few cloud shapes, but there wasn't much of a breeze so the clouds weren't moving much and they just lay there enjoying each other's company and the beauty of their surroundings. After a few minutes Hook began to feel a slight tickle in his nose. He sniffed hoping that would take care of it. When that didn't work, he let go of Emma's hand, which he had been caressing, and gave his nose a good rub.

Emma raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. After the second time he pulled his hand away to rub at his nose she spoke up. "You ok?"

Hook cursed inwardly. She would have been less likely to notice if he'd had his other hand to use. "I'm fine love. Just a momentary irritation. I'm sure it will soon pass."

"Ok, if you say so. Hey look, there's a cloud that looks just like you!"

"Really? Where?" Hook looked all around the sky but he couldn't see any clouds that resembled him.

Emma laughed. "Got you!"

"Playing a trick on me are you? You'll not get away with that!" Hook exclaimed as he rolled on top of her.

Emma grinned. "And just exactly how do you plan to punish me?"

Hook covered her mouth with his, kissing her passionately. Emma closed her eyes and returned the kiss. Just as he started to deepen the kiss further he felt the tickle in his nose return. And it wasn't just a tickle this time, he felt a very strong need to sneeze. Not wanting to ruin the moment he pulled away, raised himself up on his knees, and rubbed desperately at his nose trying to make the sneeze back off.

Feeling Hook's lips leave hers she moaned, "Killian..." She only ever called him by his first name when she was really worried about him or in moments of passion or affection. She expected him to start kissing her somewhere else, but when that didn't happen she opened her eyes and saw him rubbing his nose vigorously in what she was sure was the attempt to stave off a sneeze. "If you have to sneeze, just sneeze and get it over with."

Her words distracted him and losing his concentration, the need to sneeze completely overwhelmed him. He turned quickly to the side sneezing forcefully into the crook of his arm. He paused, then his breathe hitched a few times before letting loose another harsh sounding sneeze.

"Bless you!" exclaimed Emma surprised at the force with which he shook against her as he sneezed.

He sniffled and looked down at Emma apologetically. "I'm sorry love. I was trying not to ruin the moment."

"It's ok," said Emma. "Just sneeze if you have to. You look ridiculous trying to hold them back which spoils the effect of your devilishly handsome face."

"Really?" Hook feigned alarm. "Well we can't have that."

"Nope, absolutely not," Emma agreed. She started to pull Hook down towards her to kiss him again when she saw a panicked look come over his face and he started sniffling trying not to sneeze again. "Oh just let it out," she reminded him.

"As you wish..." Hook trailed off and then muffled three rapid-fire sneezes against the back of his wrist. Emma burst out laughing uncontrollably. Scowling, Hook got up and walked away a few feet. "I'm so glad you derive that much amusement from my predicament."

After Emma managed to compose herself enough to stop laughing, she sat up and called after him. "Please, come on back. I wasn't laughing because you sneezed. It was because of what you said."

Raising an eyebrow Hook returned and sat down next to Emma. "What was so funny about what I said? I simply said 'As you wish'."

Emma tried to suppress another fit of laughter and failed. When she managed to stop and catch her breath she saw Hook looking at her expectantly. "If you keep saying that, I might as well call you The Dread Pirate Roberts."

"What? Why would you call me that?" Hook asked in bewilderment. "Wait, is this another of your movie references?"

Emma nodded. "I'll have to add The Princess Bride to the list of movies you need to see."

Hook sighed. "It is most frustrating that so much of modern humor and expressions are rooted in these movies and TV shows. It could take a lifetime to familiarize myself with all of it."

"Try not to worry about it," said Emma. "Even people born in this era aren't familiar with all of it. There's simply too much material."

"I wouldn't need to worry about it if these things didn't keep coming up in conversation," Hook replied.

"I'm sorry. I'll try my best not to do it so much." Emma said as she leaned in and kissed him.

Hook kissed her back. "You are forgiven." Emma rested her head on his shoulder and he gently ran his fingers through her hair. With almost no warning the tickle in his nose flared up again. His breath hitched once, twice, then he sneezed another triple before he had time to cover up, his body rocking forward with the force of each one. Now he could feel his nose starting to run. He retrieved a handkerchief from an inner pocket in his coat and blew his nose as discreetly as he could. "My apologies. I really don't know what's wrong with me today." Emma reached out and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead and then his neck. "What are you doing?"

"I'm checking to see if you have a fever," she answered.

"I assure you I am perfectly alright," Hook insisted.

"Well you're not feverish, but if you were perfectly alright, you wouldn't be sneezing your head off." As if reacting to her words, Hook gasped and launched into another fit, smothering four massive sneezes into his handkerchief. He paused briefly before letting out three more sneezes that seemed smaller and yet more forceful at the same time than the previous set. "Jeez!" Emma exclaimed. Hook blew his nose vigorously and Emma winced at the sound it made. When he straightened up and pulled the handkerchief away from his face she could see that his nose was developing a pink tinge around his nostrils and his eyes were red and watery.

Hook couldn't understand what was happening to him. This was the strangest illness he'd ever encountered. He had no fever, chills, headache, cough, or sore throat. There was just this incessant itch in his nose that kept making him sneeze and now the itch seemed to be spreading to his eyes. He raised his hand to his eyes to rub at them, but Emma grabbed his hand before he could.

"Don't rub your eyes. It'll make it worse," Emma explained.

"It will? Do you know what's wrong with me?" Hook asked, his voice starting to sound congested.

"I think you might be having an allergy attack." When Hook just stared at her blankly she tried to explain the best she could. "It's when your body has a bad reaction to a particular substance. Sometimes it's called hay fever if the reaction is caused by plants."

"The same affliction that dwarf Sneezy suffers from?" Hook asked.

"Yeah, though I've never seen him sneeze this much."

Hook frowned. If he was sneezier than Sneezy, this did not bode well for him. "This is not good at all."

"Hey it's ok," Emma tried to reassure him. "If you've developed allergies, we'll get you some medicine to help with the symptoms."

"You don't understand. A pirate can't afford to show weakness. A vulnerable pirate is a dead pirate."

Emma rubbed his back. "You don't have to be a pirate anymore. There was a time when you weren't one."

"I know. I've just spent so long being a pirate that I've forgotten how to be anything else. I know I can't be a pirate anymore if I want a life with you, but I just don't know what I can do in this small town. Most of the people here had their occupations assigned to them by the curse."

Emma thought for a moment. "Wasn't part of your duty in the Royal Navy to serve and protect?"

"Yes, what of it?" Hook asked.

"I was thinking that maybe you should come work with me and my father in the Sheriff's office," Emma suggested.

"And join the family business eh? I'm sure your father would love that."

Emma grinned. "I think you're starting to grow on him. He did after all get to see firsthand how devoted you are to me. Just give it some thought."

Hook nodded and rubbed his nose feeling the tickle return again. He quickly brought his handkerchief up to his nose just in time to catch a triplet of sneezes. They weren't as powerful as his earlier sneezes and as such did little to relieve the tickle in his nose. He sniffed and rubbed at his nose again. "This is truly maddening."

Emma nodded sympathetically. "We'd better get you home and get you some medicine."

"But what about that swim you promised me?" Hook protested.

"Really? That's all you can think about right now?" Hook just looked at her with a pitiful expression on his face before sneezing again. "On the one hand dunking your head in the water might help you feel a bit better, but I think it's best that we leave. I'm guessing it's the wildflowers here causing this since you were fine before we got here."

"So you think I'll start to improve once we leave this place?"

"I think so," said Emma, "if I'm right that is. Don't expect to feel better right away though. It might take awhile and I still think we should get some medicine into you. We'll stop off at the drug store on the way home."

"Remind me to thank Granny so much for suggesting this location," said Hook bitterly.

"Oh come on. How could she have known this would happen?"

Hook sighed. "You're right. I just feel wretched and I wish this infernal sneezing would cease."

They got up and made their way out of the woods. Since Emma knew exactly where they were going it took them less time to get back to the car than it took to get to the clearing, even with Hook having to frequently stop to sneeze. Hook had never been so happy to see a car in his life. He still wasn't really used to riding in them, but all the sneezing was starting to make him feel light-headed and he was grateful to not have to walk back to town. They got in the car and Emma started the engine and turned on the air conditioning hoping it would help alleviate his symptoms somewhat.

If anything, Hook's condition deteriorated once he was in the car. He felt a massive tickle quickly descend upon his nose as if it were being tickled on the inside by hundreds of tiny feathers. He sneezed one body wrenching sneeze after another into his handkerchief which by now was so soiled that it was barely useable. He lost count after ten sneezes and it was a few minutes before the fit finally worked itself out. He was left coughing and gasping for breath with a sharp pain in his ribs which were prone to ache easily since his previous injury.

"Wow!" exclaimed Emma. "Are you ok?"

"Not really... but I'll live. I just... need to... catch my breath."

"Ok well I'll get you to the drug store as fast as I can." Emma pulled out onto the road driving a bit faster than was safe and watched Hook out of the corner of her eye. She was starting to worry that this was turning into an asthma attack, but after a couple of minutes his breathing seemed to normalize.

"Oh not again..." Hook moaned as the need to sneeze crept up on him once more. He let out four rapid-fire sneezes into his now completely soaked handkerchief. He sniffed thickly. He really needed to blow his nose and he didn't have a spare handkerchief. "Would you happen to have a handkerchief that I can use? Mine has become rather useless and I'm afraid I don't have a spare on me. I normally only use it to wipe the sweat from my brow."

Emma shook her head. "Sorry, I don't use them. There's some napkins in the glove compartment though."

Hook retrieved the napkins from the glove compartment and made a face. "You really expect me to use these on my nose?"

"I know they're not very nice, but it's either that or blow your nose on your shirt. I'll get you some tissues when we get to the drug store." She saw Hook looking at her with that confused expression again. "Tissues, they're a bit like napkins, but they are softer and they're what most people use to sneeze and blow their noses into these days. You just throw them away after you've used them." Hook nodded and reluctantly blew his nose into the napkins until he could breathe through his nose again somewhat. He looked around the car unsure where to put the soiled napkins. "Just throw them on the floor," said Emma. "I'll clean it up later."

Hook continued to sneeze in fits of three to five the whole way to the drug store and he quickly exhausted Emma's supply of napkins. They pulled into the drug store parking lot and Emma got out of the car. "I'll be right back," she said. "You just stay here and rest."

"Do hurry," Hook paused to let out a particularly violent sneeze. "I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew Emma was shaking him awake. She opened up a small bottle and shook out two pills and handed them to him along with a bottle of water.

"Swallow those down whole with the water," Emma instructed. After Hook swallowed the pills she pulled a tiny bottle out of the shopping bag. "This is for your eyes. I'm going to put a drop in each eye," she explained. "Tilt your head back." Hook did as he was told and Emma put the drops in his eyes.

Hook winced as the drops stung at first, but after a few seconds he felt soothing relief as the itching in his eyes started to fade. Unfortunately the itch in his nose did not. His breath started hitching as he geared up for another fit and Emma ripped open the tissue box, pulled one out and thrust it into his hand. Hook took the tissue gratefully and brought it to his nose just in time to catch a quartet of sneezes. When he opened his eyes he saw that the tissue was mostly soaked through and no good for further use. "These things are so flimsy. Is this really what most people use these days?"

"Yes," said Emma. "People like the convenience of just throwing them away and not having to wash handkerchiefs. Plus it's considered more hygienic to throw your germs away, assuming you actually have a proper trash can to throw the tissues in." Emma made a mental note to toss out all the used napkins and tissues that she was sure would accumulate as soon as she got Hook back to Granny's and got him settled in. "Admittedly they aren't the most durable of products and sometimes you need to layer two of them together, or in your case maybe three." She pulled a few more tissues from the box and laid them out on top of each other to show Hook what she meant and handed them to him along with the box.

Hook gave his nose a good blow and saw that the tissues did indeed hold up better if you stacked a few of them together, but he wasn't sure if he'd ever prefer them over a handkerchief. "Emma, I really don't feel well at all. Those eye drops seemed to help but the pills aren't working."

Emma chuckled. "They aren't magic pills. They don't work instantly. It could take up to an hour for them to work, though if you're lucky they will kick in a bit sooner than that."

Hook gave her a look of horror. "I have to suffer through this hell for another hour? I've already sneezed more in the past hour than I have in my entire life!"

"I know it sucks, but you'll start to feel better before you know it," Emma reassured him.

"Perhaps I could try putting those drops in my nose as well?" Hook asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," said Emma hesitantly. "Those drops are meant for your eyes, not your nose. I'm not sure what would happen. I wouldn't try it without asking a doctor first. Just try to go back to sleep if you can."

"I'll try," said Hook doubtfully, "but it's beyond me how I managed to fall asleep the first time."

Hook seemed to be sneezing a bit less frequently on the ride to Granny's, and when he did sneeze they lacked the force behind them that most of his earlier sneezes had had. Emma wasn't sure if it was because the medication was starting to work or if it was because his body was just so completely worn out. He did look awful though. His nose was all red and swollen and his eyes, though less red than they had been, were still a bit puffy. He finally fell asleep shortly before they arrived at Granny's snoring a bit from the congestion. Emma hated to wake him, but she had to get him up to his room and into bed. She shook him gently trying to get him to wake up. Hook just moaned and refused to open his eyes. "Come on, get up, we're here. You can go back to sleep as soon as we get you up to your room." Hook still refused to open his eyes. Emma sighed. Sometimes there was only one way to motivate him. "If you get up now I promise we'll go for that swim once you're feeling better and I'll..." she whispered something naughty in his ear.

Hook's eyes shot open in surprise. "Alright, I'm up I'm up."

Emma glanced down at Hook's lap and smirked. "Yes you certainly are." That was probably the first time she'd ever seen him blush.

It took Hook a few tries to get out of the car. "I feel so strange. Almost like I'm drunk and yet it's different than being drunk. Is this because of the allergies?"

Emma chuckled. "No it's from the allergy meds. A lot of them have side effects and I bought you the strongest stuff I could find in the store. I had no idea you'd be such a drug lightweight." Hook started to walk toward the door to Granny's, but he was rather unsteady on his feet and he nearly lost his balance when he was overcome by an intense fit of four sneezes. Emma put her arm around his waist. "Lean on me ok? The last thing you need right now is to fall over and injure yourself. She helped him up to his room having to pause once on the stairs as he succumbed to yet another powerful trio of sneezes. She couldn't believe how intense some of his sneezing fits were. It was like some of them were so strong that he had to sneeze with his whole body to rid the irritation from his nose. When they got to his room, Hook collapsed in the armchair and closed his eyes. "Hey don't go to sleep just yet."

Hook groaned. "What now? More medicine that doesn't help?"

"I think the meds are starting to work," said Emma. "You aren't sneezing as frequently as you were before."

"I think I'm just too bloody exhausted to keep doing it. Let me go back to sleep." Hook snapped practically whining.

Emma shook her head. It seemed like all men, even pirates, acted like babies when they didn't feel well. "Not just yet. I know you're too worn out to take a shower, but you should at least change your clothes."

"What for?"

"You could have pollen from the wild flowers stuck on your clothes. If you are allergic to them, then having the pollen all over you would cause your symptoms to last longer," she explained as she started gathering the pajamas she had purchased for him from the dresser.

Hook raised an eyebrow. "You seem to know a lot about this condition for someone who has no medical training."

"I read up on it quite a bit when Neal went through something similar," Emma explained. "We moved around a lot and there was something in the air in this one city that really set him off. We never did figure out exactly what it was, but he was pretty miserable on high pollen days, though he didn't have it nearly as bad as you."

Hook nodded and closed his eyes. It was getting so hard to stay awake. He could feel Emma removing his boots and socks. He jumped when she started lightly tickling the bottom of his feet.

"Sorry," Emma apologized. "I'm just trying to keep you awake long enough to get you changed and into bed." She helped Hook stand up and change into the pajamas.

The pajamas consisted of dark blue lounge pants and a grey t-shirt. The clothes were soft and made of cotton and he had to admit they were more comfortable than the clothes he usually wore. They were even more comfortable than that ridiculous gown they'd made him wear at the hospital, though he'd have to ask Emma about getting a robe to go with them. After he finished changing he stumbled over to the bed and climbed in curling up on his side in a practically fetal position.

Emma covered him with a blanket and set the bottles of pills, eye drops, and water on the night stand along with the half used up box of tissues. "The directions for taking the meds are right on the bottles and there's more tissues in the shopping bag for when you run out. Is there anything else you need before I go?"

"You're not staying?" Hook asked sounding surprised and disappointed. He had hoped that Emma would stay and take a nap with him.

"No, I've probably got pollen all over me too and I should go home and shower and change so I don't risk making you worse," she answered. "I also need to go in to work and catch up on some paperwork which I was planning to do anyway after our outing."

Hook nodded. "In that case maybe some warm compresses for my head and ribs? They're really sore from all the sneezing."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier? I would have gotten you some pain meds while I was at the store."

Hook shrugged. "I was a bit preoccupied at the time."

Emma went and got some washcloths from the bathroom and ran them under hot water. She laid one across Hook's forehead and the other under his shirt across his previously injured ribs. She knew the washcloths wouldn't stay warm for very long, but hopefully they would help ease his pain somewhat. "I'll bring you some pain meds when I come back later. Call me if you need me." She bent down and kissed his cheek.

Hook smiled. "Thank you for taking care of me Emma. You make for a wonderful nurse."

Emma just shrugged and smiled back. "You'd do the same for me."