A/N: Okay, this is what a friend of mine calls a 'Brain Fart.' It's an idea that came to me while I was watching 'Lost Son' on CSI: Miami and had my headphones on my ears at the time while working on the computer. Having seen that particular episode over a dozen times, I was able to multi-task, sort of. Anyway, R and R and let me know what you think!
The Change
"One hand reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
And they say what good have you done
By saving just this one?
It's like whispering a prayer in the fury of a storm."
Lieutenant Horatio Caine of the Miami-Dade Crime Lab was walking down the hall towards his office. Timothy "Speed" Speedle's funeral had been yesterday and Speed's death had hit everyone hard, he knew, including him. After all, he'd been right there when Speed had died of a fatal gunshot wound to the chest. Horatio was almost to his destination, lost in his own thoughts, when something caught his attention. It was the sound of someone singing."And I hear them saying
You'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me."
What few people knew about the red-haired Lieutenant was that Horatio appreciated art of all kinds. This including singing, which was an art in itself, as far as he was concerned, especially if you had the talent. Whoever was singing had a really nice voice but that wasn't the main reason it had caught his attention. Singing was not something you heard very often in the lab, except from an electronic source and, with the exception of the instrumental part, this singing was definitely not from an electronic source; the voice was too clear and too strong.
Horatio tracked the signing to a lab with the door partially open and, once he found the singer, he stopped inside the door to listen. The background music was definitely coming from an electronic source, but the singer's voice was all her own. She was singing karoke-style.
Her name was Alison and Horatio recognized her as one of the lab technicians. Shortly after she'd come aboard a few months ago, he'd heard from his other CSIs that she had a particularly good singing voice. One day he'd been fortunate enough to hear her singing Terri Clark's If I Were You, when she thought she had been alone and it was then that he had understood why people raved about her singing. She had the voice of an angel with a slight Texas accent and a natural, innocent grace that drew people to her like flies to honey.
"This heart still believes
That love and mercy still exist
While all the hatreds rage
And so many say
That love is all but pointless
In madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss."
A memory came to him, and he smiled. About a week ago he'd been going by the very same lab when he'd spotted Speed and Alison. Funny enough, she'd been deliberately singing to him, singing I Couldn't Dream by John Michael Montgomery and he'd been sitting on a lab chair, grinning like an idiot, the grin stretching from one side of his face to the other.
Horatio had later asked Speed about that whole episode and the other man had quietly admitted, blushing a bit, that in her own way, Alison had been 'courting' him. That song, plus another one she'd sung, The Change by Garth Brooks, were some of his favorite songs and knowing this, Alison had been singing them to him when Horatio had walked past the open door. She had basically been giving Speed a mini concert and he'd been a willing audience.
And now Alison was singing The Change again, only this time, Speed wasn't there to listen in person but Horatio couldn't help but wonder if Speed was listening in spirit.
Alison's voice sounded sad, so sad, Horatio thought as he quietly stood in the doorway with Alison totally obvious to anyone and anything but what she was doing.
"And I hear them saying
You'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me."
Something caught his attention and, as he watched, a tear slowly made it's way down Alison's face.
"As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone
And I hear them saying
You'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me
What I do is so
This world will know
That it will not change me."
That was when Horatio realized that Alison, in her own private way, was grieving for Speed and in her own way was giving him a private send-off in a way he knew Speed would have appreciated. She was singing what she knew had been a favorite song of his and was doing so, so very beautifully, literally pouring her heart and soul into the music.
The song ended and Alison bowed her head, her shoulders shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself in her grief. That was when Horatio quietly came up to her and did a rare thing with those he worked with; he put a hand on her shoulder, offering comfort. She looked up, her face going red and he didn't say a word, just smiled reassuringly.
And she smiled back, understanding what he wasn't saying, as she dried her eyes with a tissue.
"You going to be okay?" he asked.
"In time, sir. In time, just like all of us," she replied. "It sounds stupid now but I made Speed a promise."
"What was the promise?"
"He made me promise him that if he ever died before I did, I was to sing him a song so he could have something really good to listen to on his way to heaven. I thought it was a hilarious request at the time but he was very serious about it."
"What was stupid about that?"
"I made the promise to him last week." And she smiled sadly. "Didn't think I'd have to keep it for at least several years."
He nodded in understanding, remembering what he'd said to Speed moments before the fatal shooting had started. "That was very well done and I'm sure Speed would have appriciated what you just did."
She smiled, sunshine coming to her face and she said, "I think so too. That's why I did it, for him, and for me."
He smiled in understanding and turned to leave, knowing Alison would be okay but paused for a moment. "Do me a small favor?"
"If I can," she replied, instantly alert.
"Don't stop singing," he said.
She smiled again, nodding, and with that, he quietly left the lab.
In his office, his original destination, he sat down heavily in his desk as the full meaning of Alison's choice of song hit him.
"As long as one heart still holds on then hope is never really gone," he repeated to himself. He began to smile.
Despite the tragedy of Speed's death, despite the pain from the loss of a good friend, he knew he still had hope, hope for a better, brighter future. He still believed in justice and doing the right thing. He wouldn't let Speed's death change him, stop him from always trying to do the right thing because, as the song said, his heart still believed that love and mercy still existed and that, he knew, that was all Speed would have ever wanted.
Yes, Horatio would miss Speed, but as Alison said, in time, he would be okay. They all would as long as they continued to have hope and to love one another. And that, he knew, was the greatest gift of all.