Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters.

A/N: Vote at the Profiler's Choice Awards! Link on my profile.

XXX

The funny thing about love is how it can take you completely by surprise...

Emily Prentiss had faced stalkers twice her size without blinking. She had wrestled with murderers, and won. She had stared down rapists without so much as flinching. But the thought of what she'd just done had her trembling in her heels.

She walked into JJ's office, where the media liason was having a coffee with Garcia, and slammed the door shut, pacing the office in agitation.

"Oh, God, I'm so screwed!" A sliver of annoyance crept into her voice despite her best efforts. "He hasn't even said anything! How am I supposed to know what he's thinking? Does he expect me to just forget it? Maybe he forgot it?" She paused for a second. "That would probably be best. It's too awkward."

"What's too awkward?" JJ asked, her interest piqued. "What happened?" She and Garcia turned their chairs around, hanging on to every word- after all, it took a lot to ruffle Emily Prentiss.

Emily stared at them, unfocused. "But what if he hasn't forgotten it? Should I say something? But then what if he never got it anyway? Then I'll just be bringing it up for no reason, and it will be even more awkward explaining it, but-"

"Em, I love you, but if you don't tell us what happened right this very millisecond, I will be forced to kick your very fine ass to beyond Timbuktu," Garcia said. "So spill."

Emily groaned and sat down on one of the chairs across from JJ's desk, running her hands through her hair. J wordlessly handed her a cup of coffee, which she gulped down gratefully. "It's too horrible to tell..."

"What part of 'beyond Timbuktu' didn't enter your ears?" Garcia asked, rolling her eyes.

Emily grabbed JJ's coffee and sipped it, ignoring her protests. "It's like this. I...God, it's so embarrassing...I sent Hotch an email." Her tone conveyed that she expected them to have heart attacks at any time.

"No!" JJ gasped, her eyes wide. "You sent Hotch an email? How could you?" Her eyes sparkled.

Garcia looked pensive. "Well, it does say you're a little behind technology-wise, but it's nothing a crash course in SMS and IM won't fix!"

"You don't get it. It wasn't meant for him!"

"Ooh," Garcia said, far happier than she should have been at her friend's misfortune. "Tell all!"

JJ raised an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair. "How did you manage to do that?"

"I just hit send, and I didn't realize that I'd clicked on the first person in my contacts! A! Aaron Hotchner!" Downing the last of JJ's coffee, Emily reached for Garcia's, who quickly moved it out of reach. She huffed and crossed her arms. "You know how they say that if you're sad or pissed off or whatever, you should write it down and then delete it or burn it?"

Her friends nodded, seeing where this was going.

"Well, I wrote an email. To my mom," she added, before Garcia could ask. "And I said horrible stuff to her...I was swearing and calling her names...he's going to think I hate him!"

"And?" JJ asked, noticing Emily was shifting nervously. "What else did you write?"

"It was- I- I don't even- I have-" She struggled to find the words. "Do you- You guys know about, you know...?"

"If you mean do we know about your major crush on a certain dark-haired SSA, then, yes, we do," Garcia replied, grinning at Emily's red cheeks.

"So what did you send him?" JJ leaned forward eagerly.

"I just, I was mad, you know? And I was ranting in the email to my mom- which I wasn't going to send at all- and then, I don't know, I just got on to all the troubles in my life..."

"...which include you not being laid in a mighty long time," Garcia finished quickly for her, keen to get the story moving. "Go on, go on..."

"Well, yeah," she admitted, shrugging. "But it's not like I've had time to get a boyfriend! So I was ranting to her, and then suddenly I was ranting about my relationship troubles and how I can't keep a guy for longer than a day because I keep thinking about someone else and then..." She buried her head in her hands, her cheeks flaming. "And then I imagined I was writing to Hotch and I got carried away and I wrote all this stuff..."Her voice came out muffled through her arms.

JJ gasped, for real this time. "Please tell me you did not send an explicit email to our boss dictating exactly what you would like to do to him!"

Emily sat up, her expression pained. "It was more like what I wanted him to do to me," she whispered. At JJ and Garcia's amused faces, she gave an exasperated huff. "Come on, you guys! What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, sugar bun, but this seems like a sign from above to me," Garcia said thoughtfully, twirling one of JJ's pens. "What say you Jayje?"

JJ nodded. "Yeah. Seems like a message: Get your ass into gear and tell him how you feel already!"

"Couldn't have put it better myself," Garcia proudly. "Now go talk to him."

Emily stood up resolutely. "Yeah. Yea, I'll do that. I'll go talk to him, and I'll just gloss it over and pretend I was drunk or something..." Saying this, she left, ignoring JJ and Garcia's crestfallen faces.

"I cannot believe her!" Garcia seethed, opening her laptop and typing furiously. "Here an opportunity is dropped into her lap and she doesn't even acknowledge it!"

"What are you doing?" JJ asked curiously, looking over the screen. "Oh...it's not there! No, wait, it she might have deleted it. Check in 'Trash'. There!" She pointed to a message entitled 'Sometimes I really hate you'.

The two women read the email slowly, their amusement and shock growing with each line.

"Oh my fuzzy slipper!" Garcia chortled. "Our Em's got a wild side!"

JJ stole a sip from her friend's coffee. "She's going to have a hard time explaining that away."

"Jayje, are you even reading this? It is impossible for her to 'gloss over' this!" The technical analyst rubbed her hands together gleefully. "Come on, matchmaker JJ, we have a mission!"

XXX

A/N: It's kind of a long shot, but if any readers of this are reading 'Cookies and Lollipops' and know even a TINY bit about Star Trek, shoot me a message please! I would really, really appreciate it if I could pick your brain for a few facts =) Also, I have a poll on my profile

Maddie xxx