The Life Story Of Breakfast

By Laura Schiller

Based on Star Trek: Voyager

Copyright: Paramount

"Good evening, Lieutenant."

"Mr. Neelix."

"How was your shift?"

"Uneventful."

"For once, eh? Thank the gods for small mercies. How may I help you?"

"May I have a bowl of that stew, if it is finished?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, certainly. Oops! Careful, it's still hot."

"I am aware."

"Ah … right."

"What are the ingredients?"

"Oh … just … stuff."

"Stuff."

"Vegetables. No meat, if that's what you were asking. I … ahem … I hope you enjoy it."

"Mr. Neelix?"

"…"

"Is this something you obtained illegally?"

"No! What – no! Great Forest, what do you take me for?"

"Since that failed scheme of yours on the border of the Nekrit Expanse – "

"All right, all right! I get your point. But honestly, Lieutenant – if I were smuggling something, I wouldn't serve it to the security chief for lunch, now would I? Give me a little more credit than that."

"That is not entirely reassuring."

"How many times do I have to prove to you that what happened on Bahrat's station will never happen again? Why would you even think I'd … ?"

"You omitted your usual anecdotes about the meal."

"So?"

"It was unusual, and therefore suspicious."

"Of all the - ! Now, look here, sir, I've had just about enough of your … whatever it is you're doing! First you tell me, "I have no interest in hearing the life story of my breakfast", and those eggs had a good story, let me tell you!""

"Mr. Neelix – "

"Then on the away mission, you find fault with me every step of the way, even though I was the only damned person on that maglev who could even operate it – "

"Mr. Neelix – "

"And now, when I'm trying to be considerate and respectful, you still … you … "

"Mr. Neelix. Calm down. Take deep breaths."

" … "

"If you had not kept interrupting me, you would have known that I intended to apologize."

"You … did?"

"Your actions on Bahrat's station, though misguided, were motivated by loyalty to this crew, and since that time, your behavior has been nothing but correct. I was wrong to suspect you. I … apologize."

"Apology accepted. Awww, come here, Mr. Vulcan!"

"Please. Let. Go."

"Sorry, sorry. Professional distance. There."

"May I begin my meal?"

"Of course. Bon appetit, as the Humans say, and off I go."

"Mr. Neelix?"

"Er … yes, Lieutenant?"

"Before you return to your station … will you tell me the recipe?"

"With pleasure."