FIRST SNOW

Part: 1/1

Rate: PG

Pairing: Seto/Seth.

Warning: yaoi and oneXoneself.

Disclaimer: the characters are properties of Kazuki Takahashi. I do not own any of them.

Note: Seth is already with Seto although I don't explain his existence. Consider this one a side fic of "Reconcilement" which is still in progess.

Two soft arms reached out to catch snowflakes and roll them in cupped hands. He laughed and swirled in extreme delight, soft sandals treading lightly on the ground, leaving no mark, purple robe rippling about with each step.

"Seto! It's white petal rain!"

Seto let out a chuckle which instantly turned into a laugh. It was strange to see someone who looked like him asked such a question. Seth's pale skin blended with shade of the snow so well which made his appearance faint, almost translucent. Seto wondered if Seth really existed or the other was just a fleeting image conjured up by his mind. Perhaps, if he closed his eyes, Seth would fade into the air and leave him alone forever.

"It's snow, not white petals," said him and brushed the clueless expression on Seth's face with a chaste kiss. "Water frozen into precipitation in the form of white flakes."

Unfurling the coat, he wrapped it around Seth's shoulder and secured it with a scarf around his long neck, covering exposed skin.

"Seto, I do not feel cold."

"You don't but your body does."

"It does not," frowned Seth, plucking on the edge of his scarf with long fingers.

He took Seth's hand in his and allowed a ghostlike smile grace his lips. In fact, his hand was much colder than Seth's. There was always that cool, smooth and soft sensation the way water would feel on his skin when he touched Seth. Somehow it warmed him strangely. Probably, a dead person was not aware of cold or hot, Seto reasoned.

"Seto, does it mean I am not cold? And I can take this thing off?"

Blue eyes stared up at him and glistened like the sunlight reflecting on clear snow. Seto smirked. Seth could be too obstinate and unyielding as if Seth was not used to losing and refusal. Probably, Seth was the only one beside Mokuba who could win over him in these trivial things.

"Even if you are not, leave the scarf alone because..."

/ it makes me feel that you are real in these cloths./

/My existence is real./

/Is it?/

He blinked and touched his eyes briefly -- the snow was too bright and almost obscured his sight. Christmas was the time for family and friends but to Seto, it was always the day when he started loosing himself. One without family and friends was nothing. This time, Seth was with him and he believed that he was not afraid of anything anymore. They would go to this one place where he would erase all these hateful feelings inside even if it might hurt him.

"Do you want to drive or walk?"

"Let's walk," answered Seth, pressing a small kiss on his gloved palm.

/I want to be with you always./

As they strolled on the street, the snow was still light, falling down to form a thin layer which made some murmuring noise under their feet -- Seth called it the winter song. Spots of dark pavement were still visible on the ground. Here and there was a short stump of tree with bits of green leaves lurking beneath ashen barks. They were all dead and rotten things. The whole thing was pathetic to Seto because he did not like winter.

/You don't like any season./

Seto supposed it was true, but it did not change the fact that he did not like winter. Seth's hand tightened on his as he leaned over to capture a snowflake and put them on his glove.

"You should learn to like yourself a little more and live for yourself. Look at this snowflake. It does not melt even when it touches the ground because it wants to exist. Sometimes, there is nothing more importance than existence. There are deceased people who still linger on this world for they want to live again. It is what happened to Pharaoh and Bakura."

"I'm 16 already. I don't need you to teach me that."

"I am 3018 this year."

"You are such an old man, arent you?"

"Yes, I am." Seth smiled with eyes darkening under his long bangs and somehow it hurt just to look. He loved Seth but would the latter stay with him?

"Is snow verily a form of water? Shall you tell me a story about it?"

"A story? Theres one but it's very sad."

"I do not think so because the snow is very beautiful."

Seto glanced back briefly at Seth as they walked pass a large lump of snow which looked vaguely like a wounded solider with a missing leg.

Clearing his throat, he started in a whispering voice, small enough to fade into their footsteps on the ground but he knew that Seth could hear it. Everything in this day was so fragile to him that he was afraid that his voice could break everything, leaving him bare and naked with his loneliness.

"Once upon a time when the world was still peaceful and full of colors, people lived alone and felt no emotions and there was no pain nor death. There was a young boy named Snow Angel who lived in the Winter house. One day, he started wondering the reason why he was always alone. He decided to ask the people in his village but no one understood him -- there was still no concept of love. The boy decided to leave that place and met his other self in the river. They felt in love but God knew of their relationship and said that it was prohibited to love. The two boys felt their chests tighten, as water started falling down from their eyes but they did not know what those were. God was angry for pain and sadness had been born into the world, and thus punished them by turning one of them into snow, the other one into water. They were then separated forever. If one existed, the other would die... Well, thats it, Seth. The story ends."

Seto strode faster. He didn't feel like talking again after telling such a bad story even though Seth was a good listener with the attention of a very eager kid.

"But did the two boys not live together for eternity?"

Seto turned back to look into that same questioning oceanic eyes again.

"No, they didn't."

"Water forms snow and snow melts into water. They become one and together forever. Do you not think so?"

Seth did not smile, his expression serious and his face lit, brightening in the dingy sky.

"You always twist everything according to your desire."

"Because there is always a positive side in everything."

There was that gentle smile again but it warmed him this time.

"Now, come. This place is"

/Domino Orphanage./

***

"Mr. Kaiba. I know you will come this time after all the years. We're thankful for the generous donation and gifts."

"Mr. Kaiba. Do you want to go inside and have some hot tea?"

Frowning, Seto quickly pulled Seth away.

"I just want to visit the playground. Please dont follow us."

All these people were giving him a headache, reminding him too many forgotten things in the orphanage. He never visited this place before because he was afraid and insecure -- scared even -- but somehow he wanted to conform the desolation, loneliness and pain that haunted his dream every night. Still, it hurt too much to see the sight - he thought he was going to break. His eyes were glazing over and he started seeing Gozaburo and that was him and Mokuba and...

"Seto. Settle down!"

Cool fingers pressed on his forehead but he brushed them away with shaking hands; he was too cold.

"Settle down! No one will hurt you ever again."

Two soft arms enveloped him which made him tense but his shaking was subdued. Fingers curling around Seth's coat, he clung on Seth for any comfort the other could offer.

They stayed that way for a short moment although it felt like a very long time.

"Why did you come here if you like it not?"

Pulling back briefly, Seto turned away. He hated showing his emotions even in front of Seth although he knew it might hurt Seth.

"Does it matter what I like or don't like?"

"Yes, it does because you are me. When you are hurt, I am hurt, and when you are happy, I am happy. The pain lingers because you keeps thinking about it. If you are to focus on it, why not to do something else? We do everything for fun, and if it is not fun, we will not do it."

"Fun?"

"Yes. Did you not want to go to the playground? It is here. Look at the children, Seto."

Squatting on the ground were several children busily making on their snowman. A young boy said.

"Hey, you guys, it doesn't work. Probably, well give up and go inside."

In fact, the half-finished snowman was falling apart for the snow was still too soft and light to build.

"No, I want a snowman for Christmas," a small girl disapproved, pouting and several other children agreed.

"Shall we help?" Smiling, Seth led him to the children's place where Seth bowed down with one of his hand stretched out in the Egyptian way.

The children laughed but agreed to let them join. He just stood and looked as Seth worked on his snowman with bare hands. It might hurt latter, he noticed, but he did not interrupt.

/Why do we have to do everything for fun, Seth?/

/So that once we leave this world, we will not regret it./

/If I am to die, will you cry for me?/

Seth stopped between his task and stared into his eyes. In those bright orbs, he could see himself forlorn and small under layers of coats. He thought he looked pitiful.

/No, I will not/

/I'm supposed to be happy then./

Seto smirked bitterly, not really discerning what he was actually feeling.

/... because I will join you the way the snow angel boy joined his other self./

The sentence weaved a thread of warmth inside him which almost instantly flared and made his face hot and his eyes burn.

/I made up that story so it's not real, you know./

/Is it really not? Even if it is not, the imply inside is real./

"Oh, it's beautiful."

It was not a snowman but a small Blue Eyes, white and magnificent in every aspect. He thought the Blue Eyes was blinking at him with its beady eyes.

"It's beautiful," the small girl squeaked and laughed as the mood transferred to others. Seth smiled at him but he turned away, faking a frown.

/It's too small./

/But three of them will be undefeatable. Stop standing there and give me a helping hand, Seto./

Together, they built the second and started on the third Blue Eyes.

"You look very cute when you smile like that."

"I do?" Seto looked back in surprised -- he was not aware that he was laughing with the children.

"Yes, you do. I think you should go out more often."

"I will if you are with me."

"Does that mean you will go to Atem and Yugi's party with me now? Mokuba have come first for preparation with our gifts."

"But"

"We are still not too late. You promised, remember?"

*****

"Oi, Yugi! Do you invite Kaiba here to sleep?" Jounouchi said under a pile of gifts.

Yugi and the rest of the party started laughing as they saw the sight of Kaiba curling up on the couch with three Blue Eyes. Seth was smiling next him with the lights in his eyes.

Seto had refused to go because he was sleepy because he had been working for two days without much rest.

It did not matter much to the other boys for Seto was there and it was enough.

It was a very happy and warm Christmas.

********** End

The ending is awkward because I did not know how to end it laughs.

Anyway, lots of hugs from Seto and Seth to you. The one below is a picture to you all.

http:// www.geocities.com/ seinengappi/illust/yu_art005.html

Take away the two spaces and you can view it.

With love