This is the story developed originally as a chapter of other story (my long story about Tom Bombadil if anyone is curious). I haven't planned it to be so long but now it's almost independent history. I started to asking myself question what was the social and political situation in Valinor (but mostly among Noldor) soon before and after the revolt by Feanor and Kinslaying. I am deeply interested in politics in a real life and it drove me to the conclusion that it was probably complicated. We know what Feanor did but what about those Noldor who stayed in Valinor? How they felt about actions of Finwe, Feanor and the rest of royal family? Secondly, let's guess how Valar consider this...

I will try to follow events described in canon. If I make mistake with dates please correct me. English is my second language so please be forgiving for the language. I did my best to translate the text but without beta reader this is the best I can do.

Warnings: Not sure if any, except for the fact I am not the fan of Feanor. No slash or non-canonical pairings, but complicated (non-sexual, non-romantic) relations will appear later.

Disclaimer: The wonderful world of Arda do not belong to me. The picture in a profile is a screen shot of Morgan from the Merlin TV series.

Nimwen has always been different than other Noldo. Her passion and interest were related to poetry and books and not crafts, sculpture and metalwork. By nature, she became closer to Vanyar, so often considered as 'poets with little knowledge about life'. Nimwen, however as pale and sensitive elleth, understood them better. She felt safest in a warm safety of the great Library, especially since she has been hiding a secret. Barely anyone was aware of it, including siblings. She developed loving relationship with older brother and sister, even if they have only few common interests.

As a craftsman's daughter she was expected to help parents in their duties. Nimwen however, was a complete klutz when it comes to any handwork. Her mother, skilled embroideress, tried hard to learn her how to treat the material gently. Lessons maybe do not end up in the ultimate disaster, however results were hardly satisfactory. Parents themselves began to encourage her to read, not wanting her lack of skills lead to destruction of supplied goods. It was then she discovered passion for reading and learning. She was born in a happy, peaceful time when everyone believed in a bright future.

Melkor, the first Dark Lord, was imprisoned somewhere in the Halls of Mandos. Elves largely lived in the Undying Lands, whereas those who chose to remain the Middle-Earth lived in a relative peace and harmony. Nothing more dangerous than wandering beasts threatened them. Only Queen Melian of Doriath knew about sinister and dark creatures of Angband. She remembered that Dark Vala caused destruction of the Almaren and doubt if peace and safety would last forever. Barely no one the Middle-Earth, knew about her former friendship with Dark Vala, but if Melkor was imprisoned cannot threat them!

Nimwen was born in the same time when Noldorian Prince, Fëanor wedded Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan. Huge debate proceed marriage of his father, Finwë the High King of Noldor, with princess Indis of Vanyar. The whole Tirion was discussing if it is even right for the elf to have a second wife. Finwë was granted a special permission from the Valar, but elves were still concerned. To make matters worse, Fëanor, the firstborn son of the king, spoken against father's plans in public. The discussion between them must have been tough as gossip about storm spread very quickly. No one, and certainly Nimwen not suspect how their fate will one day related.

The weeding of Fëanor and Nerdanel were accompanied by no less attention than the union of the king Finwë and Indis. Mahtan descended from non-royal family, however belonged to the inner circle of Aulë's household as the student of Vala. Such position made him a person greatly appreciated by the Noldorian society with a status lower only that a royal kindred. Only the High King of Elves, Ingwë, called refer to him as "the parvenu". Unkind words quickly reached red-haired, hot-tempered man. Mahtan had rather poor opinion of the High King and got went mad. The fuss almost ended to the breaking the engagement and huge scandal.

Indis, mild and gentle queen, trying to love her stepson despite his apparent reluctance, gave a helping hand. She visited angry Nerdanel trying to calm down elleth offended by words of Ingwë. Being raised in the household of Aulë and Yavanna, she was taught to judge according to hard work and talents but not number of princes in the family. Her father was respected among their people by his skills and position of Disciple of Aulë. Nerdanel considered herself as the daughter of talented and hard-working father not "the commoner" unworthy to talk with Fëanor as Ingwë suggested.

'My stepson loved you very much. He needs you'- said Indis – 'I believe this feeling is mutual'

'Indeed, my lady' – answered Nerdanel – 'I love Fëanor with all my heat, however your uncle.'

'Don't be afraid and listen to your heart. I did the same long time ago when married my beloved Finwë. We are living happily ever after. Together with my handmaidens I will help you with necessary preparations'

'Thank you for your generous offer, however I will be given anything required from my household. It would be a great offense not to accepts jewels and flowers from my place'

'I see'- said Indis – 'My family did the same for me. Will your father find a time for preparation? Mine got neither skills no time'

'Do not underestimate him my lady'

'There is no need to call my lady if you are going to be my daughter'

'Shall I call you mother then? Make a wish and I will obey. Are we going to live in your place?

'We will see Nerdanel'

The discussion between stepmother to Fëanor and daughter to Mahtan was widely commented. Fëanor has already presented violent and possible dangerous traits of characters. No one managed to predict the dreadful end to come. Both Finwë and Indis considered marriage as the best solution for the impetuous prince. Union with the appropriate woman may help to hold his temper. Wise Nerdanel hold such promise. She was an elleth of strong will and dark-haired elf needed a strong hand, something his father never deliver to him.

The red-haired elleth was able to keep him company both in a forge and discussion. Evan as a child, she took a chisel and carving. Assistants of Aulë provided her with a special, small tools matching child's palms. No wonder she gained proficiency in handworks which made Fëanor to admiration her. After all, their first meeting took place when Finwë asked Mahtan for tuition.

'It is unusual for the elleth to work with chisel'- he said slowly – 'in most cases they prefer to change their cloths'

'You must be talking with a boring maidens'- she answered with a smile – 'or maybe visiting wrong places. Are you going to be a pupil of my father?'

'Pupil? Why do you think so?'

'Just a guessing game'- she giggled looking at him carefully. Her brown eyes showed some interest ='Many clients of us are either willing to order goods or get training. I am Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan'

'I am Fëanor, son of High King Finwë'- he answered – 'my father indeed wants me to learn more about blacksmithing' – he explained quite astonished she did not curtsy.

'I see, my father informed us during yesterday's dinner. Have you ever tried to work with metal?'

'Few times only'- he explained – 'Metals are so interesting and full of possibilities. I want to learn more. Do you anything about blacksmithing Nerdanel?'

'Yes, but craving is my real passion. I know how to work with metals and gems, you won't believe me but as elfing I used to have my own, small tools'

'Unbelievable!'- Fëanor became really interested in a red-haired elleth.

They have no idea, that fathers were looking at them carefully. Finwë started his silent prayers to thank Eru for a young elleth able to his stubborn son's attention. Mahtan remained calm, as he decided not to interfere with his daughter decisions. Fëanor was no better or worse than other young elf. He agreed to tutor son of the High King and encourage Nerdanel to spend time with him. In coming years, he bitterly regretted this decision.

Niemen was born in a warm, charming night. During better times of peace and happiness in Valinor, all nights were like that. She was the youngest child and second daughter born in a family of craftsmen. They name her Nimwen, which means "white" as she seemed paler than other babies. She was healthy as everyone in Aman, and blesses with a complexion of an alabaster. Her mother and relatives were excited with her delicacy but less with more and more leans clumsiness.

Even as a child, she loved reading books, listening to songs accompanied with an uncommon for Noldor clumsiness. Parents have never allowed her to carve in order to prevent accident. Mother taught the art of embroidery, but eventual results were considered only as satisfactory. It was her father who talked with a friend from Vanyar about her later education. He was painfully aware that Nimwen in a forge is a serious threat for everyone including herself, but might master other arts. Love towards books and singing make her ideal student for Vanyar and may become a tutor or bookkeeper one day?

'I will welcome her in our place at the slope of Taninquentil'- said Vanyarin elf – 'My close friend is a teacher. Young members of our Kindred are his students, but I am sure he will welcome Noldo with open heart. He is upset with all of those stories about "closed" Vanyar and "practical" Noldor. There is no reason to become divided'

Nimwen, excited about new places, wasn't sure if he wants to leave the family home. Tall, blond elf was speaking in such a cordial, softly voice that deep trust seemed natural. 'I am goind to see cities and houses of other kindred'- she said, unaware of how this decision will change her life. The vision of the great library filled with books or artists painting gardens convinced her more than vision of forges or workshops considered generally as attractive.

From the very first moments she understood the difference between Noldor and "Light-elves" called "Blind" by those less polite. Mutual relations between High King of elves, Ingwë, High King and Fëanor has never been cordial and has become even hostile after Fëanor wedded Nerdanel. No one really knows who started the conflict. The visibly cold and almost hostile attitude of the firstborn son of Finwë towards his stepmother was certainly adding fuel to the fire. Ingwë was not aware to stand criticism toward his close relative, Indis. Since ages, Finwë has disliked Vanya and refer to him as "mocking pompous fool" and his pomposity. Knowing that Ingwë is very proud form "sitting at the feet of Manwë " he made numerous jokes out of it. 'Dear cousin, have you ever checked if anyone is sitting on the throne? Remind me if I am wrong, but Elder King is not invisible'. During one of the celebrations, Ingwë decorated his head with a huge, richly decorated, crown. The whole crown resembled rays coming out of the head, but Finwë asked loudly: 'No one is wearing his horn so openly in public, except our Highest King. Are corridors of the palace corridors wide enough for the Highest Prongs of Elves? '

Ingwë went red in anger and called Finwë the bigamist. It seemed to be a matter of time when harsh discussion end as a fight. Indis acted quickly to prevent this, as quickly as she always need to act when those two met. They never have been friends, but Ingwë harsh words summarizing Fëanor's behaviour has put his father into defence position. He let no one to criticize his firstborn, but even though, for Indis, he was eager to change the whole situation. Proud Ingwë refused, could forget calling him a "Highest Prongs of Elves". He considered everyone, including Finwë, as minor and work hard to develop etiquette. He was left almost alone, when Manwë removed him from his closest circle and do not consider him as the Disciple anymore. Ingwë indeed loved title of the Highest King above everyone and everything else, but was also right about Fëanor.

Nimwen has heard several stories from Vanyar. They seemed to suffer from time to time because of the Ingwë's moods, but in most cases their leader was sitting at the highest peaks of Taninquentil and talking to the air. The remaining Vanyar seemed different than him: much more cheerful, mature and wise. She loved their company and consider years with them as probably best time of her life. She was so naïve and innocent then!

The Vanyarin households were different from those by Noldor. Even architecture was touched by their love towards light. Wooden, spacious houses seemed empty in the eye of non-Vanyar. All chambers got large windows and ceiling decorated with a motifs of light. They prefer simple decoration to complicated sculptures and tapestry by Noldor. All rooms were furnished only in the most necessary equipment due to saving spaces and light and not poverty. In Nimwen's opinion such emptiness was weird but not unpleasant.

Floors of the day rooms were covered with carpets. Both younger and older members of the family or a group were sitting on a fluffy carpet with book or scroll. Except for reading and writing they love discussing, while drinking a glass of wine or tea. Even kids were encouraged to participate and were provided with a juice. Nimwen was asked to tell more about customs of Noldor. Her introduction was proceed by long discussion if open and lightly furnished houses are practical and comfortable. Even the youngest were allowed to speak, no opinions were forbidden unless justified. Who start screaming and try to upset the opponent were banished from the discussion. For young Vanyar such punishment was severe as no kids played with someone who "don't know how to speak".

It was then she felt in love in a long discussions. They talked about almost every topic, even really abstractive. Most Noldor consider such behaviour as the waste of time, as crafting or metalwork were better choice. Nimwen felt opposite and dwelt in the house of old, noble, Vanyarian teacher together with other kids. Most of the time they sit in the largest, dining room or in a garden.

'Your daughter fit us well'- elf told her father – 'she is hardworking and open minded, more than most Noldor I must admit'

'Me and my wife are happy to let Nimwen stay here. She is a total klutz when it comes to handwork. I feel safe when she is far away from any workshop or forge. I consider path of teacher or scholar as much better for her. Can I stay for a while and listen tu your discussion?'

He welcomed Nimwen cheerfully, wanted for his daughter nothing but a group she considers as close friends. She developed normal relations with girls from the neighbourhood, but belonged here. In that times elves were somehow united, even if relations between Fëanor, Ingwë and Finwë were getting worse.

'You are radiating'- said father –' do not forget to visit us soon, mother baked an fruit pie'

'Even the slopes of Taninquentil can be sweeter than mama's baked goods'

'I am fully aware of your mother skills'- smirked teacher –' but come back soon, as the vivid soul of Noldor is priceless for the discussion'

'I am not going to leave you for long'- she promised.

She fullfilled her promise and came back few days after. Nimwen loved her relatives, but in the company of Vanyar felt the level of understanding inaccessible anywhere else. She belondged here and that was her group and nothing could be better than discussions accompanied with a tasty pie and juice. As an adult she changed juice into wine, but still loved talking. Maybe one day she will become a teacher?

In that time, she was more concentrated on the present not future. Gossips were really interesting and regardless common misconseptions Vanyar loved gossip, even if prefer music and poetry to gossip.

'Would you like to see a snow Nimwen'- she was asked this question when come back from her parents place.

'The snow?'

'Yes, snow havent't you seen a white snow? Have you ever played with snowballs'- asked one of the students – 'If so, you missed a great fun. Nevertheless, it is not lost'!

Soon after they went on a walk to the higher parts of the mountain. Nimwen quickly realized why they were asked to bring coats with them. Never before she has felt a cold, as snow was extremely rare phenomena in the Undying Lands. Icy winds were unpleasant experience for young elleth, but she was also excited. Her long, black hair with a delicate shade of blue looked very different from the whiteness nearby.

Snowy forest resembled a place from a fairy tales. The white snow shine with a countless colour in the light of Two Trees. Nimwen got impression as if gems were spread around, which lead her to touch a snow with a bare hand. Large, majestic trees resembled those from Vanyar gardens but looked so bizarre covered in a snow not leaves! The whole place was no shiny, that eyes almost hurts. Light was ubiquitous in Aman, but this forest was the brightest.

Pathway covered with snow seemed alien when compare to those known to Nimwen. The overall lightness was so amazing, pristine and pure that almost overwhelming. Such impression probably leads Vanyar to become so obsessed with a light.

'Let's build a caste'

Nimwen liked the idea. Her maternal aunt was living in Alqualondë, beautiful costal city. She spent a lot of time with her cousins on a beach on swimming and of course playing. They built the whole city using the sand and later develop the whole history of its inhabitants. Nimwen liked the sea but not as much as Teleri. She used to visit them from time to time and enjoyed their company but not as much as the company of Vanyar. Still she preferred talking about horizon and miracles of the water domain to all of those practical works of Noldor. Years later she was discussing if maybe Noldorian love towards craft and metal made them targets for the Dark Lord.

She took her place on a snow and helped companions with w castle. They really froze during their activities but no one grumbled. Building a snow caste was a great exercise for the imagination and some

'How about terrace here?'- asked companion.

'No'- she answered – 'it will make the whole building unstable. Let's put terrace somewhere in the middle. The caste's inhabitants may meet here to talk'

'It looks nicer here!'

'Yes, but this is not good for a building!'

They spend almost an hour discussing where is the best place to insert terrace. Both sides presented strong arguments and eventually castle were left unfinished. Elves were less sensitive towards cold than humans, buy even though they were cold. The cup of hot chockolate seemed the best solution and ending of such wonderful day!

'I feel like warm wine'- said Nimwen.

'No chance, we are still kids in their eyes. It's getting colder'

They start discussion about prons and cons of wine and chocholate and failed to notice two figures looking at them carefully. The mysterious creatures covered faces and seemed unspecific in a long, dark coats. It was not unusual to protect head from the icy winds, but those strangers were only looking but not trying to join elves.

Nimwen got impression they were not in a snowy forest. She was sure that someone was looking, even if she explained why she felt that. The impression seemed weird but not scary, as what can be scary on the slope of Taninquentil? Maybe other elves also decided to buult a snow castle?

'Everyone who enteres this place for the very first time, got impression the forest itself is lookig'- explained on of the compation –'it is nothing but illussiomn, unless someone from the palace is walking nearby'- he pointed some place in the sky –' there is no reason to be scared'

'The palace?' – Nimwen asked.

'I will pretend you haven't asked me a question'- askwered the elf –'the mountain does not belong to elves, but we were allowed to settle here. The snowy forest is the highest place accessible for us all. You can't walk higher without the invitation. Higher'- again he pointed light point somewhere higher –'beyons snows and everything else marvellous palace is located, where King and Queen of Valar dwell. This is a place of everlasting spring and light is everywhere'

'Maybe we can continue when back home? I'm freezing'

'Let's go and ask our teacher to tell more about the palace'

They were getting cold and decided to come back. They had became so cold, that even did not comment Nimwen's lack of knowledge about the palace. However, when they are back, that are going to discuss. Everyone living with Vanyar need to possess a basic knowledge!

The happy and peaceful time of living and studying with Vanyar was coming to an end. It made Nimwen sad, as she dreamed about staying here forever. Maybe one day she would become a teacher and spend more time with peaceful elves so deep in love with poetry and discussions? She was happy with an idea of working with children. Her sister-in-law has recently had birth to a young girl which made Nimwen very proud.

'I have visited the Library'- he announced one day – 'I mean, the Library in the palace".

Nimwen asked no more questions. She knew what "palace" he referred to, as friends told her numerous stories about Taninquentil and why Vanyar decided to settle here. 'We felt in love in this place in the very first sight. King and Queen of Valar allowed us to settle here. At the beginning, they used to invite us to their palace quite often and teach before… before the misunderstandings happened'. The votive of elf went very sad every time he was speaking about past events. Nimwen realized it must have had a lot of to do with past mistakes.

After a longer period of time, and several glasses of wine, he explained it was Ingwë who initiated misunderstandings. At the beginning, Valar considered elves as young creatures seeking knowledge. As "Older ones" as they call themselves, they invited elfings to teach about poetry and spiritual knowledge. Vanyar become interested in a poetry and arts more than others thanks to Manwë and Varda teachings. Valar also decided to choose Disciple or Tutees who would later deliver knowledge to his/her kin.

Ingwë was the first one selected, but this decision was a mistake. Elf was astonished and happy to be selected by Manwë himself and become very proud. He started to considered himself as special being supreme and maybe even higher than other elves. When his mentor invited him to the palace, other elves named him as "The Highest King of Elves". It was a disaster and eventually turned Ingwë into proud, unpleasant and rude creature. He remained in palace, but not as the Disciple. It didn't bother him as he was still a High King and was spending hours on developing pompous speeches. Such behaviour made Manwë even more irritated and as the results Elder King barely speak to his former Disciple. Moreover, both Manwë and Varda became more suspicious and less eager to invite elves to their place.

Ingwë's love for titles for the very first time made relation between Valar and elves colder and more formal. It was then Powers realize, that posture of distant and terrifying Lords seems to work efficiently. 'The Younger Ones' – as they called elves need to realize Valinor is ruled by Valar not them. Ingwë was not the only one to misuse teachings, but fortunately he did nothing but talking.

Young Nimwen heard about actions of Ingwë. She used to dream about entering the Library in the Palace at the highest peak of Taninquentil. What can be closer to heaven than visiting a place where all the books and scrolls are collected. But is it even possible for her to visit the Library?

'Theoretically it is possible- he explained – 'The King and Queen of Valinor sometimes allow elves to reach their Library only if consider plea as reasonable'

'How can my plea be reasonable?'

'Difficult to say, but if you seek knowledge for a better understanding of our world tell it in your plea. Please keep in mind to never under no circumstances even try to impress them. Valar tend to ask you're the same question in a slightly different way and become upset if notice the difference'

'I see, but is it even possible for me to see?'

'To see a wonders of the Library?' – he answered with a smile – 'my dear Nimwen, from time to time I am given an invitation to a Palace. Moreover, I am also allowed to take my most promising pupils with me. I chose you among others, so you can deliver your plea personally'

She was thrilled but also scared. Valar were noble and powerful beings that should not be bother with minor issues. The idea of talking to them seem impossible and even maybe not appropriate. To make matters worse, she had no idea about etiquette! How to behave? Which dress to wear? She became even paler than usual: scared but also interested.

'But how it that possible? How should I?'

'Ah, I see you are not sure how to behave? Not sure about etiquette? - he asked – 'First of all do not kneel. Just don't do it regardless heavy urge. Valar are ruling our world but do not require such gestures. Secondly do not speak unless asked. Answer every question sincerely and according to your best knowledge. Do not try to make impression of being wise and exceptional. Lastly do not use fancy titles, simply end each sentence with "Lord" of "Lady". Is it clear?

'Which dress should I choose?' – she asked dramatically.

Elf laughed, seeing the whole situation as hilarious. He was one of the oldest and wisest Vanyar, but despite common conceptions not insensitive for a pleasures of life. Actually he was happy to see his student interested in clothes, as he never wanted Nimwen to become miserable woman not willing to enjoy life. He remembered old times, when Valar welcomed elves as younger members of the family in Aman. Now situation is different, but from time to time he was granted an invitation to the palace. Before Fëanor started his rebellion and hurt so many, Valar used to invite elves to their places to talk with them or teach. It was not as open as the beginning, but still not as cold and formal as later.

He chose Nimwen due to many reasons. Firstly, he really believed such visit maybe extremely beneficial for her. Secondly she was a Noldor, the same Kindred as fiery Fëanor speaking openly against Valar. Old Vanyar was experienced and wise, some people refer to his as clairvoyant, and managed to see possible results of uprising. Every opportunity is great to show that elves in fact are living in harmony with each other and other inhabitants of Aman, regardless very bad relations of Ingwë and Fëanor. Shiny eyes of young elleth made him sure he made a right choice.

Author's note: the idea of the Disciples of Valar is my own, however I personally believe such elves might be treated with a great respect among their kindred in Valinor. Secondly, as you may notice I really dislike Ingwë. He was one of those characters I couldn't stand: "sitting at the feet of Manwë" for the whole eternity? Really, is it so great and honourable to be an pouffe (By the way Manwë, you were described as the good one. Using poor elf as a pouffe is not a good action!)? I will find a perfect place for him in the palace.

If anyone of you my Readers can read Polish I published Polish version as well.