"You know, having Arthur publish my journals may have been a mistake." Watson told his companion as he and Holmes walked into the station where one of the officers that Holmes wanted to inform that he'd returned worked. "Half of London society is convinced that the stories are based on Madame Vastra and that housekeeper of hers. Of course, the fact that Arthur keeps referencing things that Vastra has done when off-handedly listing adventures we'd supposedly undertaken hasn't helped."
As soon as Holmes and Watson stepped inside the station, things went still for a moment when people finally processed exactly who had just visited them, and the two found themselves to be the focus of numerous pairs of staring eyes.
"Hey Lestrade!" one of the officers yelled, "You're not going to believe what just walked into the station."
"Is it another seven foot tall blue creature with six eyes and tentacles instead of legs carrying a guidebook from the twenty-first century?" a voice that Holmes and Watson immediately recognized called back from a small office.
"Nope, we directed the last one to his tour group fifteen minutes ago. Speakin' of what just showed up, you might be wantin' to have words with that drunk who claims to be a Necromancer." the officer called back.
A familiar head poked out of the door to the small office that served as the station's file storage area. From the look on the Detective's face, he wasn't too happy to see who had just shown up.
"Holmes!" Lestrade called out in a falsely pleasant tone of voice. "How nice to see you again!"
"It is nice to see you too Lestrade." Holmes replied in a tone that was a bit more genuine.
"Good work with that Weng Chang fellow who was kidnapping and murdering young women around London. No wait, that was some bug-eyed man with a fondness for sweets who called himself the Doctor and some savage who was keen to torture people." Lestrade said.
Holmes winced at this.
"Good work on that case with the wandering corpse. No wait, that was that theatre manager Jago and the pathologist Litefoot." Lestrade said, digging the knife in a little deeper.
Holmes managed to look genuinely contrite for one of the few times in his entire life.
"Good work with that horrible incident up in Sweetville. No wait, that was Madame Vastra and her er, housekeeper Jenny." Lestrade said, adding salt to the wound.
"I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to tell anyone of my plans." Holmes said, sounding truly penitent.
"Good work with helping clear those giant rats out of the sewers. No wait, that was Torchwood." Lestrade continued, blithely ignoring what was possibly the only genuine apology he'd ever receive from Holmes during his lifetime.
"Moriarty's network was extensive, and it took me a long time to clear it all." Holmes said. "I'm not entirely certain that I've got all of them."
"You know Holmes, I can't think of a blessed thing you've done the last three years except pretend to be dead!" Lestrade exclaimed, brushing aside the excuse just as he'd done the apology.
"Well, if you need me in the future..." Holmes said, looking as if he wanted nothing more than to make a hasty departure and save what little face he could.
"I'll remember, and I'll also remember that I have Madame Vastra's telephone number." Lestrade said.
"Well, that went better than our reunion did at least." Holmes said as he and Watson finally left the station before Gregson could return and give Holmes a piece of his mind. "If I ever find that colleague of yours who gave you that cricket bat...Well, when we tell Arthur about this, we'll be keeping both of these incidents to ourselves and allowing him to use creative license when it comes to my return."
"Speaking of cricket bats, I need to re-check the bindings on your ribs." Watson said.
"And, all this time I thought you were a Rugby player..."