In memory of
A/N
Disclaimer: Don't own nor making money off of this.
Challenge info: Little League Chaser 3 for Ravenclaw Emotional Prompt:Grief;Bonus Prompts:(word)burst, (word)tranquil, (dialogue)I've never felt this way before
In memory of
Silence filled the room, the only sound the slow ticking of the clock. No one breathed loudly much less spoke. The somber atmosphere was deafening and crushing. A small girl sat beside her father while the others, in their best clothing, were standing around the bed looking at the old woman sleeping peacefully. The girl looked around her grandmother's bedroom before tugging on her father's arm. As he leaned down she whispered something in his ear.
"Grandma's just sleeping right? Why are we waiting for her to wake up?" she asked.
A look of shock and anguish flashed before he relaxed and paused to make sure he didn't sound as he felt, "Grandma Luna is very sick and she wanted to see us. She couldn't visit for Christmas because she had to go somewhere to get better," he said.
"She got better though and visited after! She was really happy to see me now too! She said she'd try to make it next year," his daughter said.
It hurt everywhere and he had to look away from his daughter as tears leaked. The flowers they gave her were still on the table beside them near the window. The tag read, "To Grandma Luna; from Daniel, Jennifer, Michael, and Sarah," and she put them there herself when she could walk. Gathering himself he looked tearfully at his daughter, "I hope so, sweetie. Are you getting tired?" he asked.
She fidgeted and straightened out her dress, avoiding his gaze, "Michael is leaving soon for some food. I know he would like the company," Daniel said.
The bright smile was blinding as she nodded eagerly. He smiled back softly as he ruffled her hair, "Michael, when you go home, can you take Sarah with you? She's getting tired," he said.
The teen nodded with a strained smile, picking Sarah up and putting her on his shoulders.
"Sleepy, sis?" he asked.
"Yeah. The bed isn't comfortable and I can't sleep without Mister Dog," she said, referring to the stuffed lion she slept with.
"Well, I'm sure he misses you too. Come on, let's go home and I'll read you a story before bed if you want before I head back here!" he said with a little more spirit.
"Can you read me Oliver and Company?" she asked sounding more alert.
"Sure. Have you left anything here that you want to take home?" he asked.
"Nope. Can we go now?" she asked with a yawn.
"Yeah. Mom I'm heading home so Sarah so she can sleep," he said.
His mom nodded, distracted as she sat beside Luna on the bed.
"Be careful, Michael. You don't want to get hurt on the way," Jennifer said as she looked up to see him nod with Sarah on his shoulders.
An hour passed and the rest of Luna's visitors had to go. Only Daniel and Jennifer remained. A blanket of darkness covered the sky entirely. Saint Mungo's had cast a charm to monitor the heart beat, breathing and brain activity of Luna. It kept on sounding every minute. The noise was easy to tune out after a while. It was comforting to hear it. She was better off at home and he could visit her here because Saint Mungo's didn't allow squibs to visit intensive care unit patients. Daniel looked around and tears fell as he looked at the pale shadow of his mother. She was half dead when his father died and she never fully recovered because a part of her went with him.
I don't think any of us did, he thought as he remembered his father fondly, and now...
"A sickle for your thoughts?" his wife asked as she hugging him from behind.
"I know she had a full life... but it's not fair." The last word was a shout as a fresh wave of anger burst through the tsunami of emotions that kept him in a state of shock.
"I'll be okay, you know. I just needed to nap," Luna said evenly cracking a smile.
Daniel looked up to see her slowly waking up, "I know, mom. How was your day? How are you feeling?" he asked.
"It was good and I managed to eat so I feel good as well. Your brother took good care of me," she said.
"He always did have the best bedside manner of all of us," he said, smiling at the inside joke. His brother was a beautiful, abrasive, intelligent man who had mood swings and an acidic and scalding humor.
"Don't you dare say anything bad about James. You boys always loved your arguments," she said.
"We're in our forties, mum, we're not exactly schoolboys anymore," he said.
She laughed but it was a meek sound. "You boys don't act like it!" she said grinning.
The knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Michael stepped in, arms full of food, before seeing his grandmother awake. The atmosphere lightened considerably and with a large grin and bounce in his step he put the food on the dresser. His father was looking out the window, deep in thought.
"I snuck in coffee, donuts, and mum's famous cookies," he said, "Sarah's safe with Grandpa."
Luna's eyes lit up as she motioned for him to sit beside her. Michael gave her a hug as he sat down. They talked until she got tired, her eyes closing and voice softening. They all ate in silence around her. It was always too quiet in the room because everyone visiting was too afraid speak or think of the inevitable.
"Should we go home?" Jennifer asked.
"I'll stay this time," Daniel said, "You guys get some rest."
"Try to sleep, too, honey. Mum, we'll be here in the morning," she said to the sleeping Luna, "Love you."
"Can you put away the gift on the table later, dad?" Michael asked.
"Of course, son. Now get some rest and I'll be home tomorrow evening and we'll visit her again," Daniel said.
"See you tomorrow, Dad, Grandma. I love you" he said as he hugged her tightly.
He settled in after changing the chair into the bed form. She still was okay when he managed to fall asleep. It was the silence that woke him up. The cacophony of noise he tuned out stopped. He felt a tight hand grip his heart and squeeze it into a pulpy mess. He got up unsteadily and every step filled him more dread until he reached her bed. He squeezed his mother's wrist for a pulse, knowing there would be none. There wasn't and it was still warm. There was a giant rock stuck in his throat as he mechanically brought out his phone and dialed a number. She looked so tranquil even now.
"Hello?" a voice answered.
"Michael? It's dad. I have something to tell you," he said.
It was absolutely silent on the other line for two heartbeats and one long pause, "What did you want to tell me?" Michael said.
"She's gone, Michael," he said, his voice cracking up.
The silence lasted longer. "I'll wake everyone and you can call..." Michael trailed off awkwardly.
"I will. Don't worry about it. Just get everyone here as soon as possible," he said.
He dialed his brother's phone number and was answered by a worried James.
"Do you know what time it is?" James asked.
"She's passed on..." Daniel said unable to say more.
It was silent until it sunk in, "NO!"
There was a muffled sound like someone falling to the floor and a soft thud. He stayed silent as his brother repeated himself in a whisper until it was a shout of raw anguish and shock. Tears filled his eyes as he waited for his brother to pick up the phone.
"You need to bring Cora. It's late and so do what you need to do and meet us at her house," Daniel said.
"Y... Yeah. I'll be there soon," James said.
The door opened after fifteen minutes and his family came rushing in only to stop frozen half way near the bed. Michael approached Luna unsteadily and his fingers met her skin and he jerked back his arm quickly. It was still warm. Sarah was inconsolable and Daniel picked her up and put her on the bed. She curled up beside her grandma with red eyes and tears streaming down her face. Michael closed the door but stood back near it watching his family. James and Cora, his wife, opened the door and entered the room after ten minutes they came. James fell to his knees near the bed. Michael was stone faced and shaking his head before he took a tissue box and left the room, saying he needed to think. He entered a little while later to throw it away and looked for something to busy himself with. His parents and uncle and aunt were holding each other crying.
-O-
For Michael, the days passed in a dizzying and draining blur. He didn't have to go to school until after the funeral. His parents and Uncle James and Aunt Cora were making the arrangements for the funeral. They were on bereavement leave. Sarah was taken to his mum's sister; it was too busy around the house. The first few days, if their neighbors and friends didn't give them food, they would have starved. Between the floo calls and the phone calls it was often so loud it was weird that it felt quiet.
His grandma's room had collected a layer of dust when he entered it. Two weeks had passed and he had to find her clothing to wear and photo albums. They were equally hard because his grandma loved clothes and often hid things everywhere. He had to look through piles of clothes and in every corner but it was slow work. Eventually he found them and sat down, gathering himself until he was ready to face the outside world. It took an hour to find them but was closer to two when he left the room and showed them to his aunt and mum.
He left the room in tears and heard someone follow him. Sitting down on the swinging bench he made himself as small as possible. He heard the door open and looked up to see his mum. She sat beside him and put her arm around his shoulders.
"Mikey, are you doing okay?" she asked.
He hesitated before answering. "I will be, eventually. I know how I feel but I don't know how I'll feel because it changes! I'm happy she's free but I'm upset she's gone. Then I'm relieved she can't feel pain anymore and I'm angry that she had to go. Usually it's just one but sometimes it's two or three at the same time. I've never felt this way before" he said hunched over staring at the ground blinking away tears, "and the worst part of it is I don't want it to stop because if I did it means I've accepted it and I don't want her to be gone."
"It will be better, one day, you'll be able to look back at the good times without pain. One day, it stops hurting every minute of every day. Until then, don't force it, and you'll feel better without knowing why eventually," she said.
"I know I said I loved her and I hugged her but she wasn't awake. I wish I waited until she was," he said.
"We never have enough time with the ones we love, so we have to be grateful for the time we do have. She was proud of you and loved you. That love endures beyond death and lasts until we can meet with them again," she said.
Looking up at the sky he was silent. It was terrible waiting for her his grandmother to pass on. She was really ill and it was just the people she loved that kept her going. The body can't live without the mind, but pure will and determination kept it alive when it was failing. She was proof of that. She was estimated to die four years ago. She beat it but it struck her down this time. He felt a small surge of hope and relaxed in his mother's arms.
One day, I'll see her again. She was a good person and so if there was something left out there she's happy, he thought as he cried into her shoulder.
"She's watching over us somewhere. Cheering us on, encouraging us to be happy. She'll always be with you- in your heart, in your memories, and in spirit beside you through everything you go through," his mum said.
"She was always so strong and wanted us to cheer up when we visited. I hate myself for wanting her here because she was in so much pain," he said.
"She was, but she's okay now," she said.
Michael didn't say anything, only stared at the sky as night began to fall and shivered as it got colder. He followed her inside and they had dinner. Walking to his room he let out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding and relaxed the tension he was holding onto. He smiled and after brushing and changing sat down on the bed. Another surge of hope filled him and he felt a wave of serenity fill him. Looking up at the ceiling before closing his eyes he slept well for the first night in two weeks.
End note:
"Our love survives until we meet again", the hardest words I had to string together because it's impossible to sum up a life well lived and the people they touch.