Memories guide the way to happiness
Summary: Set in the holidays between season 2 and 3. Brittana fluff.
The last day of school went by in a flash. That evening Santana was trying to get to bed, laying on her back staring into the thick darkness of the room. The room was silent, apart from the ticking of the old clock. She listened to the clock and counted…. 200, 199, 198, 197… When counting didn't work, she focussed on her breathing, using the clock to work out the timing if each breath, trying to lull herself into sleep. She couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried; she had too many thoughts racing around her head, screaming at her to pay attention to what was deep inside her.
Her thoughts consisted of Brittany, nothing but Brittany. Her smile, her bright blue eyes, those long locks of blonde hair, her long dancer's legs and toned body, everything about her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the image from her head. It wasn't just the image of Brittany that refused to leave her mind though; it was her words as well. Earlier that day when Santana was still pissed for losing regionals, Brittany had said something so wise and so meaningful, that Santana just couldn't shake the words: "….weird stuff happens like that in families… okay, well, family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what, and they accept you for who you are…..". Santana replayed her words over and over in her head, and when she remembers what Brittany said about their relationship, she couldn't help but smile : "I love you Santana. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else in this world, all I know about you and I is that, because of that, I think anything's possible".
The same thing happened every night for the next two weeks. She would hang out with Brittany, or occasionally Quinn during the day, and everything would be great, but at night she was unable to sleep. The tiredness was starting to get to her, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't shake the words that haunted her.
One particularly hot afternoon Santana couldn't get comfortable no matter what she did, and her tiredness was making her more irritable than usual. She was laying on her back outside in her garden, listening to the sounds of the town as singing birds, the occasional car driving past or the odd conversation of passers-by filled her ears. The sun was blazing and she closed her eyes, feeling the heat soak into her skin. Suddenly her senses locked into a conversation being had by two little girls, playing outside her house.
"You're my best friend"
"You're my best friend too, I really like hanging out with you"
"best friends forever yeah?"
"Yeah, I won't ever leave you"
"I love you"
"I love you more!"
At those small words Santana's eyes flicked wide open, the bright sun causing them to burn. Memories of when she was a little girl came flooding back, for the first time in a few weeks she wasn't listening to Brittany's words, instead she was watching her past, their past, the day they first met.
Flashback:
They met at preschool. A tiny Santana was sat in the corner of the room by the books. Her knees were brought up close to her chest, and her hands were dropped by her side, clenched into fists. She was nervous, and scared. Brittany on the other hand was already a bubbly little girl, and when her parents dropped her off she danced around the room, happily showing off the moves she had learned in her ballet class. Santana looked up to see bright blue eyes beaming down at her, and then a big green which shone just as brightly as her eyes, even though she was missing her front two teeth.
Brittany: Hi, I'm Brittany, what's your name
Santana: Santana
Brittany: that's a cool name, what are you doing over here on your own?
Santana: I like being on my own
Brittany: I don't think you do… I don't like being on my own
Santana: well I do, go away
Brittany: ok, but I'm your new friend Santana, you wait and see
Brittany turned quickly skipping back over to another small group of children. Santana remained in the corner of the room, barely interacting with other kids. Finally it was time to go out and play, and now, Santana was able to calm down and joined in a game of chase with a small boy, Noah Puckerman. She screamed as he chased her around the small playground. Brittany was busy playing in the sand box with another boy who was eating the sand rather than playing it. All of a sudden Santana felt the ground beneath her, and a stinging sensation in her hands and knees. The boy just ignored her and ran off, whilst she sat on the hard ground, looking down at her knees which were now showing red with a little blood. She felt tears pricking at her eyes, but refused to cry, her brothers had always told her that the Lopez family were strong, and nothing could hurt them.
Brittany: are you ok?
Santana just looked into the same blue eyes that she had done earlier that day and nodded her head. She didn't say a word, she was still fighting back the tears.
Brittany: your hurt
Santana: I fell over
Brittany: let me help you
The blonde stood up next to Santana and dug her hands deep into the front pockets of her dungarees. Eventually Santana saw her pull her hands back out, clasping a handful of plasters.
Brittany: my mommy always makes me take plasters with me, I fall over a lot too
Santana: I don't fall over a lot
Brittany: oh well, they will still make you feel better, here
Brittany bent down so that she was sitting next to Santana. Slowly and carefully she put a plaster over each of the smaller girls knees. Santana was about to say something but then immediately forgot her words when she saw a flash of blonde in front of her. Brittany bent forward and kissed each of the plasters gently, before looking back up and giving her that massive, oh so friendly grin.
Brittany: there, all better
Santana: you kissed it?
Brittany: yeah, my mom always kisses me better, doesn't your mom
Santana: no
Brittany: oh, well, you will definitely get better now, I promise
Santana: thanks
Brittany: I told you I was your friend
Santana: yeah
Brittany: I'm your best friend
Santana: ok.
It wasn't long before the two girls became inseparable. Santana's memory flashed forward a year or so, to a summer when the two girls played together almost every day. This particular memory showed Santana and Brittany playing jump rope and singing to each other. All of a sudden Brittany missed her footing and fell to the ground with a loud thud. She instantly burst into tears, but Santana was there to pick her up. The Latina wiped her slightly grazed knees with the hem of her own dress, they weren't bleeding, but had a lot of dirt stuck to them. Brittany was still whimpering, mostly with the shock of falling over, rather than the pain. Santana bent forward and kissed each knee, just as Brittany had done the countless time she had been the one to get hurt. Brittany giggled at the sensation, and pulled Santana into a hug.
Brittany: your my best friend
Santana: your my best friend to Britt Britt
Brittany: I love you
Santana: I love you more
Their words mirrored those of the two girls outside her house. Suddenly she knew what she had to do, how to make things right, she would finally be able to sleep. It wasn't just about her and Brittany, or how to make herself happy, but it was about all of them, the glee club, her friends, no, her family. For the first night in weeks, she fell asleep, almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, and a smile on her face as she dreamt.
The next day she was meeting up with Brittany, they were going to their own special place, the duck pond. Santana waited on their bench, playing with the bracelet Brittany gave her on her fourteenth birthday. Brittany could see Santana waiting for her from a distance and decided to play a little game. Instead of her normal route to her friend, she walked around a different way, so that she could sneak up on her from behind. Santana felt hands over her eyes and everything went dark.
Brittany: guess who
Santana: erm…. Could that be….. Madonna?
Brittany: no silly, its Brittany
Brittany ran around the side of the bench and sat down next to her friend. For a while they sat in a comfortable just enjoying each other's company and the peacefulness of the park. Santana looked at her friend, admiring the smile across her face and the glimmer in her eyes as she watched the ducks.
Santana: Britt, I've been thinking, about what you said at school, on the last day, about glee club, do you remember?
Brittany: erm, no
Santana: about glee club being a family?
Brittany: oh, yeah! I remember!
Santana: well, families do stuff together right? Like hang out and stuff?
Brittany: yeah…
Santana: well, maybe we could like, have a beach party or something, the whole glee club
Brittany: but you never want to hang out with the glee club
Santana: well, they are my family right?
Brittany: yea, they are
Santana: right, and what did you say, a family is a place where everyone loves you, and they accept you no matter what….
Brittany: that's right, they do
Santana: so, do you think they would accept me? And still… love me?
Brittany: I don't really know what you are talking about now?
Santana: I was thinking, maybe, I could tell them…tell them that im…a lesbian
Brittany: really? You want to do that?
Santana: I ….think I do
Brittany: wow..
Santana: so, you think they would accept me?
Brittany: I know they would Santana, we all love you, it doesn't matter if you like boys, girls or even cats, we will still love you
Santana: well then, that's settled, I'm going to tell them
Brittany: you are so brave San
Santana: you bring the best out of me
A few moments of silence went by as both girls thought about what Santana had just said, and what she had planned to do. Brittany shifted in the seat a little, bringing herself close to Santana so that their legs were now touching.
Brittany: I love you Santana
Santana: I love you too
Brittany smiled brighter than Santana had ever seen her smile. It was this smile that gave her he strength she needed to be herself, and she knew that it would be that exact smile that would give her the courage to tell all of the other glee kids. Brittany was now looking directly into Santana's deep brown eyes, searching for a clue as to what the other girl was thinking. She couldn't see any answers, but she could see love as well as a hint of fear, which seemed to disappear when she reached forward and took Santana's hand in her own.
Santana: will you be my girlfriend?
Brittany: will you tell everyone?
Santana: yes
Brittany: when?
Santana: we will have this beach party… I will tell everyone that I am a lesbian, and that I am in love with you, Brittany Susan Pierce, I am 100% completely head over heels in love with you
Brittany: ok then
Santana: ok then?
Brittany: I will be your girlfriend Santana
Santana: really?
Brittany: of course, I love you, all I have ever wanted is for us to be together
Santana: that's all I have ever wanted as well, I know I have made you wait, and I am sorry, I'm ready now, I know who I am and I want everyone else to know. I am proud to call you my girlfriend, so proud
Brittany: I'm proud of you
Santana smiled and any signs of fear in her eyes before was now nothing but a memory. Brittany leaned forward pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. When they pulled apart both girls looked directly into each other's eyes, for the first time in a while, things felt right, really right, perfect even.