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A/N: This fic is inspired by Silver Queen's wonderful self-insert story 'Dreaming of Sunshine'. Mentions of other manga/anime but the main focus will be on 'Naruto'. Rated 'M' for language and because I'm a paranoid 'better-safe-than-sorry' kind of person.
I humbly ask that you pardon my grammatical/ past present tenses errors and hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it.
Prologue
The rain was pouring down from the dark, heavy clouds and it was making my blood flow quicker out of my cooling body. Perhaps the last sight I would have of this world would be the departing back of my executioner. Keeping my eyes open took too much effort now, as I struggled to take in what seems to be the final breaths in this world.
They say your life flash before your eyes moments before you die, and most of them would be either memories you cherish or regrets you have. It's true. The thing that's repeating over and over in my sluggish mind is how much I regretted ever wishing that my life wouldn't be a boring, routine one.
I was leading a normal life like any other upstanding citizen in a developed country – going to school, growing up and joining the workforce, dating and attempting to find the right person to settle down with. At some point in my monotonous life I went on a vacation in a famous tourist spot, and made a wish on a wishing well that was rumored to grant your deepest wish if you are sincere enough.
Well, I don't know if I was sincere enough or not, but I certainly was stupid enough to make a wish I would never have made if I'd known the consequences. My wish was to escape from the boring, working adult life I had, wishing to have some surprises in my life or a grand adventure of some kind. I didn't even take it seriously – I mean come on, it was a wishing well in a well-known tourist spot, would anyone really think his or her wish would come true?
And to be honest, I didn't think about the wish I made until much, much later. The first time I died, and it was the kind of stupid death that you hear on the news but wouldn't think would happen to you – yes, the "you should look before you cross the road and not get so absorbed in your cell phone that you didn't notice the speeding car coming right at you."
I was brought to a dark room that was lit up by the numerous swirling portals scattered randomly inside. There were no exits other than the suspicious cones of lights, and nobody else other than me to explain how the hell I ended up in such a weird place.
Naturally, after exploring every single inch the room and still not finding any clues or answers, I got bored and decided to walk into one of the portals, hoping that it would bring me somewhere else and maybe give me some much needed answers.
It did bring me to another place that made me regret stepping into the portal the moment I realized where I landed. It was the familiar looking, huge rambling castle that most movie-goers would know – Hogwarts. And if I wanted to convince myself that it was some other castle in Europe that's not a bloody fiction school of magic, the gruesome battle scene right in front of my disbelieving eyes convince me otherwise.
Men and women of various ages dressed in robes were fighting, casting spells that looked too spontaneous and real to be a special-theatric effect. The fires that were burning in different parts of the majestic castle, the scent of smoke and blood in the air – everything pointed to the fact that somehow, I had stepped through the portal into the Battle of Hogwarts.
I didn't even get the chance to get a close up look at any of the faces before I was knocked to my back by a spell that I've never heard of but could certainly feel the effects of. Blood was blossoming on my chest as a large diagonal cut gaped open. It didn't take long before I fell into blissful, painless unconsciousness.
When I woke, it was back in the dark room full of portals. The wound on my chest had disappeared, and if it wasn't for the tear on my blouse damped with sticky blood, I would have thought what happened was just a horrible, horrible dream.
After the terrible experience, I was hesitant to step through another portal – who the hell knows where it would lead me to this time? I certainly don't want to get killed off again – dying was a painful event that I'm not too keen to repeat anytime soon.
However, after days(?), months(?) in the room with nothing to do, the fear and uncertainty soon wore off and I was ready to try out another portal again. Even if I didn't feel hungry, thirsty or tired in the what I coined 'Room of Dimensional Portals', I was bored. Regardless of where the randomly selected portal brings me this time, I would be grateful to feel alive again, even if it was just for short time.
And what a short time it was. I lasted maybe an hour in the new place – it was acres and acres of forests with no hint of civilizations in sight before something fell off one of the trees – I think it was a huge spider with a human face, a demon maybe, that wasted little time to show me how foolish a human like me was wandering around in its territory.
Yep, I died again. Other portals brought me to many different places, but somehow I always ended up dying rather quickly. I suppose a normal, defenseless human like me had no chance of survival in the dangerous, fictional dimensions I went into.
After countless repetition of dying and waking up in the Room of Dimensional Portals over and over, I finally wised up and decided to train up my weak, flabby body. As soon as I found that I was able to bring stuff from the worlds I had travelled to back with me to the room, I took as much as I could, things that would be useful and stuff that keeps me busy.
Time was irrelevant; I had plenty of that in the room, where it seemed to be suspended perpetually. There was nobody to disturb my training and learning; for once in my life I was focused on something that I threw every single bit of concentration, will and determination into.
After a long period time where I was finally satisfied at increasing my chances of surviving pass the first 24 hours into the next world, I confidently stride into a new portal.
Guess what? Just as I was feeling rather optimistic about my chances of making it in the new world, the higher, divine beings decided to fuck it all up and changed the 'rules'. For the first time since I was aware of the existence of dimensional portals and such, I ended up in the new place not as myself, but into a helpless, squalling infant body that rendered all my previous training futile.
Fuck my life.
Chapter One
For the first few months in the new dimension I landed in, I had absolutely no idea where the hell it was. I didn't know where I was, who the few adults that was consistently holding me, feeding me and wiping my ass were. I don't even understand the language they were speaking, so it took me a while to figure out a few things.
All I knew was being a baby, again, sucks big time. And I mean it literary. The person who I supposed was my mother, preferred to breastfeed rather than using the bottle. I can't begin to describe how awkward it was for someone trapped in an infant body with an adult female mind having to suck on another female tits. The whole peeing and shitting in diapers, and completely at the mercy of others wasn't a cool thing either.
Wailing hysterically when I first got acquainted with my new helpless, baby body didn't help at all, so I learned to cry for attention only when I needed to, such as for feeding or when I needed a change after relieving myself. It was already humiliating enough to rely on strangers for my bodily needs, I wanted to hold on to what little dignity I had left by not being a whiny, crying baby.
So it was to my parents' shock when I started screaming and raising hell the moment I discovered the thing hanging between my legs. Yep, you've guessed it – a goddamn penis! I was a female, and happy being one, so why do I have a male body now? Is this what they call reincarnation or something? Will I switch back to being a female if I die in this world and go through another portal in the Room of Dimensional Portals? It was something that I wouldn't get an answer for in a very, very long time.
If nothing else, going through so many different dimensions and worlds have taught me to be adaptable. Soon I got used to the strange language that sounded suspiciously like Japanese and started picking up words here and there. I retrained my motor skills and began to crawl around the nursery room I was in under the supervision of my mother. She was a nice, quiet lady who had green eyes and long silky red hair.
I learned many things from her – my name for one. It didn't take a genius to figure out the word she kept using to get my attention was my name – Kazuki. Later I found out that it means harmony and hope, something my parents desperately needed with my elder twin sister still in the care of the hospital due to some infant sickness.
As my visual system developed and I started seeing more details and colors, I was fascinated by the sights in this new world. When I look out the windows of the cozy two-storey house I lived in, I could see people jumping from roof to room. It didn't take me long to figure out these people were ninjas – the clothes they wore, the weapons they had and jutsus used were glaring clues.
The biggest clue as to exactly where I was reborn into flashed like a neon signboard when I was brought along to pick up my twin sister from the hospital, who had finally recovered after months of treatment. A pink haired, green-eyed little girl whose name is 'Sakura'. If that wasn't a big enough hint, the nurses addressed my mother as 'Mrs. Haruno'. That, and the familiar, huge ass faces carved into the gigantic mountain convinced me that I was in the world of 'Naruto'. Well, one version of it anyway, for I don't remember Sakura Haruno having a twin brother.
It wasn't exactly a shock – I had been travelling to different dimensions via the mysterious portals after all, so what's another world that resembles the ninjas- filled anime? What I was worried about was the amount of violence in this particular place. Even though I don't recall many details about 'Naruto', it has been such a long time since I've watched the anime, one thing I do remember is the large amount of fighting involved.
Dying again, although nothing new now, wasn't something I was keen to repeat again. The Room of Dimensional Portals was booooooring, and who knows where the next portal will lead me? Will I even be in a humanoid body then? No telling if it's going to be better, though with my luck I'm leaning towards it turning worse.
And so I was very much motivated to remain in this world for as long as I possibly could. My mother was a decent caregiver. My father, although I haven't seen much of him really for he was a merchant that has to do a lot of travelling for business, was competent enough to provide the comfortable lifestyle my family was having. I had a roof under my head, nice clothes to wear, warm food to eat. I was contented with this life.
Just as I was settling comfortably into life as a 6-month-old baby with a fussy twin sister that I try to ignore most of the time (I'm not exactly a fan of Sakura Haruno, much less a baby one), disaster strikes the village of hidden leaf. For the first time in my life, I was terrified by the oppressive filling that was making my instincts scream - RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE OR YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
My body was paralyzed with fear, and I wanted to escape the burning, sharp something that was stabbing me all over. There wasn't open wounds or cuts or anything like that, it was as if the air has gained density and heat, pressing down and making everything hurt. It was an inconvenient time for what I later learn was my chakra, to 'wake up', so as to speak. I could feel what I would describe as a type of energy in my tiny body trying its best not to drown against the terrifying foreign energy that made me wish I was dead so that I wouldn't have to feel this pain.
It was too much to bear, and I willingly succumbed to the wonderful land of unconsciousness. When I woke, I found my entire family huddled closely together in a cave of sorts that was crowded with many other people. It was apparently a place for civilians to hide while the ninjas dealt with the monster that invaded Konoha, the thing that was one of the focal point of 'Naruto' – Kyuubi the nine-tailed demon. I tried my best to stay awake, but after my mother rubbed my back and sang a lullaby to soothe our frazzled nerves, I fell asleep soon after.
Things didn't get much better after the demon fox was 'defeated'. There was a long period of time where everyone was involved in rebuilding stuff that Kyuubi had destroyed in its rampage. The atmosphere was tense; I suspect it was due to the village anticipating its enemies to take advantage of its weakened state to attack. Therefore it wasn't a surprise when my mother didn't bring us out of the house often during the next few months; it probably wasn't safe to do so.
Stuck in the house with my twin was torture of a different kind. Sakura wasn't one of the characters I particularly liked in 'Naruto', and I admit I was prejudiced towards her during our childhood. As a child, she didn't help improve my opinion either – as babies go, she was one of the nosier ones, always crying for some reason or other. I didn't understand her many attempts to communicate with me, it all sounded like senseless babbling. Maybe because I had an adult mind and she was using baby-speak?
With her being a fussy baby, our mother's attention was focused mostly on caring for Sakura, something I was rather happy with actually. Without her eyes on me, I was free to explore the newly awakened energy in my body. It flowed like blood through my veins, though it was…thicker, I guess. I could only feel it if I concentrated, and much time was spent sensing and coaxing my developing chakra out so that I can control it. I never want to feel that helplessness, uselessness I felt on the night Kyuubi attacked. If I wanted to have a chance to survive up to a decent age in this world, mastering my chakra was crucial.
Unfortunately, it was a slow, tedious process. Nothing that was easily achieved before I attended the academy. I had decided to attend the ninja academy as soon as I figured that it was the best place to learn jutsu and other important life skills. With Sakura as my twin, and if events happen the same way as they did in the anime, I have reason to believe that I would get drawn into many violent encounters. Whether I would graduate as a ninja is a different story. I was still sitting on the fence about serving the village as an assassin – for killing is part and parcel of being a ninja.
Could I bring myself to end the life of another human being? I don't know. It wasn't something I had ever done before and with my upbringing, it wasn't neither socially nor morally acceptable to murder someone because it's your job to do so. But I guess I didn't have to decide now, there are still a number of years ahead.
One thing I have decided was – do not get involved with Naruto Uzumaki. Call me selfish, but if I wanted to increase the probability of survival, he is one person I should avoid like plague. Too much stuff evolves around the hyperactive blond-haired kid. My nature is a cynical realist, I have no reason to help out a stranger at the risk of my own life, even if he's going to be one of the main characters in this world if it goes the way of the anime.
A/N: Good? Bad? Should I continue?