Hey, I saw you last weekend.
You were at that restaurant with your new girlfriend. You two sat by the window. I was just a few tables down. You did not see me. Or at least, you pretended not to see me. I did not know which. You were too busy talking to her. I was busy watching you two as you talked. I saw how you smiled at her. I saw how your blue eyes lit up as she smiled at you. You were very blissful when I saw you with her that night. I watched the way you talked to her. It was like you were just talking to me when we would hang out.
The difference was that, with me we were just friends. With her, it was something else. It was a completely different version of the friendship we shared—a level higher than that. You know when I saw you with her that night, I scrutinized every single detail of you that would give away the fact that you dislike her. That you are not interested with her, but with me. But I gave up when I saw the way you smiled at her. It was almost similar to the way you smiled at me.
Almost.
That smile of yours—it seemed that you like that person, almost immediately. With me, you only like me as your friend. With her, it's because you're already in love. She had gotten you under her spell. She's pretty, there is no questioning that fact. Her honey blond curls falling over her shoulders. Her dazzling eyes with soft streaks of blue and gray mashed together. Her tan skin glowed perfectly under the yellowish-gold light. Almost like Blake Lively. I could not compete with that. With me, nothing stood out. My hair will always be brown. My skin will always be pinkish white like strawberry and vanilla combined. My eyes will always be black as the starless night. I will always be too short for boys to fall for me.
In that moment, jealousy was already gnawing my insides. It was forcing me to do something wicked. The word sabotage came into mind. I already knew what I would do. But I stopped myself. If I do it, you would be unhappy. I would be the cause of your misery. I did not like that. I did not want to ruin our friendship just because of my actions but I did not want you to end up with her.
Why could you not see? As I watched you talked to her, I was suffering, there at that table. I was being devoured by jealousy and pain. Anger forced me to do something bad. Make a scene, my mind urged me. I could not just bear to look at you, happy and blissful with her. But I did, didn't I?
I love you too much that I didn't want you with anyone. But I love you too much that I didn't want you unhappy. Since you're too happy with her, I did what I have to do.
I stood up, left the waiter a tip, and left.