A short drabble. You might want to call it Smut Light...with a third less calories than our regular smut.
Once Upon A Time is owned by Kitsis-Horowitz/ABC Studios/Walt Disney. This is fan fiction, we're not making money on this.
Especially this (God, this is bad...)
It's been a month since the adventure in Neverland. Henry was rescued, Regina, Emma, the "Charmings," Rumplestiltskin and Son, Wendy, Pan, the Lost Boys and the pirate picked up two new passengers: Tinkerbell, who had made peace with her former best friend, Regina, the mermaid Ariel (who managed to keep her fellow mer-persons at bay), Wendy, Pan, the Lost Boys. Talk about a boatload.
When everyone got back to Storybrooke there was a celebration that lasted about two days (except for Leroy, whose missed day two because he was in the pokey...some things don't change). In appreciation, Belle French gladly turned the mayorship back to Regina, whose first order of business was to read a certain Blue Fairy the riot act, causing Blue to give another certain fairy named Tinkerbell back her wings and a generous supply of pixie dust, not to mention, at the request of the mayor's ex-stepdaughter/soon-to-be mother-in-law, a major adjustment in the relationship of one of the fairies in Blue's charge, Nova (who decided to give Leroy the good news after he sobered up.
Yes, Regina and Emma got engaged. And they were very happy living together with newly liberated Henry and Tink, who stayed in the guest room while she was adjusting to life in 2013.
It was one of those adjustments that caused all the commotion on a certain evening not long ago.
It was one in the morning, Emma and Regina were snoozing away when suddenly young Henry burst into the room and woke his moms up with a start. The women woke to a worried son, and screams that could be heard down the hall. The screams were definitely Tink's. There were worries that Pan had sent his shadow to Storybrooke to wreak revenge on the pixie.
The women led their son back to his room. "Lock the door...do not open it for anything!" Emma could get very stern when it came to protecting what was hers, and Regina backed it up with you-heard-the-Savior look.
The screams continued to come from Tink's room. Regina and Emma could feel magic surging to their fingers. Tink was now family, and as Emma said in Neverland, "you do NOT fuck with family!"
A zap from Regina's fingers flung the door open...and the pair was welcomed by a screaming blonde woman with long hair...and a jet stream of very warm liquid. When the pair wiped their faces, their eyes met a naked Tink...spread eagle on the bed...and a long, white device at the juncture of the pixie's legs whirring away.
"MAKE IT STOPPPPP! FOR THE SAKE OF THE GOD'S MAKE! IT! STOPPPP...!"
Afterwards another stream of liquid shot from the juncture into the faces of the Mayor and the Sheriff.
Wiping her face, Regina walked over to the bed, picked up the vibrating device and shut it off. But not before the thing sputtered and poured out a slight plume of white smoke.
"I'd say you pretty much killed it," deadpanned Regina.
"What the hell happened, anyway?" Emma remarked after surveying the damage...water, on the walls, the ceiling, the mirror. The bed was soaking...all the way down to the foundation.
Tink was still catching her breath as she rattled out an explanation. "I...found this thing...and it said massager...I pushed this thing...and suddenly it started...shaking (frustrated crying starts...)...then it slipped...then...then..." Tink was terrified that what just happened was about to happen again.
"Gina?" Emma noticed two things...Tink was about to fall apart...and Regina was as cool as ice.
"Simple, Em. Tink...came."
Emma finally figured it out. Tink, on the other hand was still going through a rather unique combination of fear and unbridled ecstasy.
"It was...it was...wonderful. But at the same time, I wanted it to stop...I could not take anymore..." Tink was almost near tears trying to describe what had just happened to her.
"Well, Tink, first thing, you are sleeping with us for tonight only," Regina explained.
"Not to mention I have to return this to its rightful owner on my way to work tomorrow. And she's probably not going to be a happy camper."
"The the way, do you know what that thing was, anyway," asked Tink, only now having the shakes toning down.
"Em says it's called an...Hit-tah-chee...is that right?"
"You got it...Hitachi. The only three decent things they make are flat screens, rice cookers, and massagers." Then Emma wistfully reminisced. "..ahhhhh, the times that little booger saved my life...you just did it the wrong way."
"You mean," asked Tink, incredulous, "there is right way to achieve insanity?"
"You might say that, my little fairy..." Regina answered with a voice that found new huskiness and horniness. "As a matter of fact, I have a similar device in my room. You found that one," as Regina pointed to the recently deceased massager, "because Miss Swan sometimes uses this room after one of our, shall we say, animated discussions of world affairs."
Emma translated: "You know...pier six brawl." That generated a stick-out tongue from the former Queen and of Enchanted Forest and a giggle from the pixelated pixie.
Regina then instructed Tinkerbell to gather her things and follow Emma and herself to their bedchamber, where they will take real good care of Tink for the night. Then Gina winked at Em, who knew exactly when she meant when she said the word bedchamber. And as the trio started down the hallway, if one could look, on might have almost seen horns growing on the Saviour's head.
The next morning, it was left up to Henry to gather breakfast. Both moms and their houseguest were passed out cold in the master bedroom. Henry grabbed a bowl of Cap'n Crunch's Crunchberries from his secret stash, gobbled his bowlful, and sat down for a stimulating morning being entertained by Disney XD. But not until he sent out a private Twitter message about the previous early morning.
TrueBeliever: They were at it again last night...and this time I think they got TinkRBell with them.
PNutButterBoy: Again...don't they ever freakin' rest?
TrueBeliever: Tell me about it...
PNutButterBoy: I thought they magically soundproofed your room...
TrueBeliever: Yeah, for the good it would do.
PNutButterBoy: I feel ya kid. I was just happy that they managed to straightened things out, or would never gotten any sleep. Worst. Plan. Ever. By the way, come over...I got an update on GTA.
TrueBeliever: And a wise man once said, "good form.."
PNutButterBoy: Oh yea...
Of course, the cleaning crew...mainly Happy and Dopey, had to take care of the mess Tink left. (There could have been a similar mess in the main bedroom, but one could assume that the usual occupiers had a better handle on things). Regina tried to lie about it being exploding carbonated apple cider, but as Hap said to Dope after Regina walked out the room,"I don't know what that stuff was, but it sure don't smell like apples..."
And Tinkerbell did finally get some sleep, with Regina and Emma holding each other by the waist, looking down at the snoozing fairy, pretty proud of themselves for getting the blonde pixie in that...position. The Sheriff and the Mayor smooched quickly as they looked down on their handiwork.
Oh, and later, Emma swung by the owner of the now deceased Magic Wand to give that person the chance to give the poor Hitachi a proper burial.
When the owner opened the door Emma showed the other person the blown out Hitachi, mentioning that it gave up the ghost the previous evening by Tinkerbell. A standing ovation could not revive the vibe.
The other woman took the Hitachi's carcass, and examined it. Emma started to apologize profusely for allowing the outright murder of the vibrator, but the other woman would not hear of it.
WIth a pish-posh hand gesture, the woman told Emma "Don''t worry about it...come in...I have fresh cocoa."
"Thanks, Mom."
"And besides," added Mary Margaret, "I still have a couple of spares. Goodness, we go through at least one every month.."
Emma's eyes went wide and she entered the apartment, then she mumbled, "I don't even want to know..."
"Smart girl," said Mary Margaret as she shut the door.
The End.
Comments please. Be merciful...
And by the way Hitachi is a trademark of Hitachi, Ltd. Don't sue us either...