Warning: Character death and depressed characters! However if this doesn't bother you then please read and REVIEW! Please it only takes like 10 seconds and it makes me very happy!

"Don't you love me anymore?" Cat asks staring straight into my eyes. I can see tears threatening to spill over. I hesitated for a second stunned that she would even ask that. "I guess I was right after all!" she said a tear sliding down her beautiful face. It was followed by many others as she whipped away from me a ran out of the school crying despite my pleas for her to come back.

I stood there numb as I watched the love of my life run away from me, probably hating me. I truly was the worst boyfriend.

"Uhh...hello? Beck?" Tori said waving her hand in front of my face. She had obviously not witnessed what had just occurred between me and Cat.

"I'm fine" I mumbled before walking past her and to my next class. As I was walking I looked up at the clock. It was 2:36. Suddenly I just felt that something was wrong. I dismissed it as the fact that Cat wasn't here and I was late for class.

The next day

I woke up to see my mom's face looking down at me. Why was she waking me up? She never wakes me up anymore?

"Beck I have something to tell you that you may not like" she started trying to talk in a soft gentle tone, "Your friend Cat was hit by a car yesterday at 2:36-".

That was all she got out before she was cut if by my sobbing. I didn't need her to tell me my heart already knew. She was dead and it was all my fault. If I could have been more patient and not fought with her she would still be alive. Cat please come back! I'm so sorry! Cat please come back!

I stayed home from school today. I didn't want everyones sympathetic looks and to be told it would be ok. It's not ok and it won't be if Cat is gone. Plain and simple: I can't live without her. She is my life.

"Beck, you need to go to school today, you've already skipped 4 days" my mom called into my bedroom in my RV.

Why, why was she sending my back to the place where there were so many memories of Cat. I don't think I can stand being there.

(Andre POV)

Beck looked awful. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was messy. He was obviously not taking Cat's death well.

I need to do something to help him. He gonna end up doing something stupid if I don't.

"Beck, can I talk to you?" I said as he was walking past me.

"Why?" he responded with his void dull and void of all emotion. However I could see the pain in his eyes.

"I just need to talk to you, please."

"Fine" he says but his expression never once changed.

I pulled him into the janitors closet and looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Cat wouldn't want you to be miserable like this."

"How would you know what Cat would want?" he challenged.

"You aren't the only one who knew her! You aren't the only one hurting and you aren't the only one that misses her and knew what she wanted!" I practically screamed at Beck.

Beck just stood there with a blank expression on his face staring through me. I knew I hurt him when I said that but he kind of needed it. Right? I grabbed the doorknob and walked out leaving Beck alone in the janitor's closet.

(Beck POV)

As soon as Andre walked out of the closet we were talking in I slid down onto the dirty cold floor. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer so I sat and cried alone in the janitor's closet of my school.

I looked up, my eyes still hazy from my tears, and saw a pair of scissors sitting on the shelf next to me. I reached over and grabbed them. I opened them up and experimentally ran my finger across the blade. Then I ran it softly across my arm. It left a little pink line. The I took them and pushes down harder. This time the line was darker pink and wider than the last one. Then I pushed them down and felt the cool metal break thorough my skin. I admired the perfectly straight one it had made, which was now filling up with blood. I watched as a crimson drop slid down my arm and dropped onto the floor. I was never really the emo type but at least this helped me focus in something besides her. I grabbed one of the janitor's towels and pressed it into the perfect line on my arm.

When the bleeding had stopped I stuffed the scissors, I might need them again, and the bloody towel in my pocket. I would get caught if the janitor came in and found a towel covered in blood.

By the time I exited the closet school was already halfway over, so I decided to just ditch the rest of the day.

When I got home I walked over to my bed and collapsed on it. I cried myself to sleep, wishing i could somehow get a second chance. Get to try again and have the chance to love her again. I would give any thing to hold her one more time, to hear her sweet and innocent voice. She died before she was supposed to and it was all my fault. I wonder if i could see her if i was dead. After all how hard would it really be to kill myself. Humans are so fragile and we die so easily. If you ingest something poisonous, you die. If you fall from to far, you die. If you get shot or stabbedin the wrong place, you die. If you get hit by a stupid driver who wasn't paying attention, you die.

The next morning i woke up to see it was still a little dark. However it was light enough to see the five new cut on my wrist. I don't remeber giving myself each induvidual one. Last night is a blur of pain, blood, and tears.

I want to go visit Cat's parents. I want them to know it's my fault. I caused their perfect daughter's death. If i wasn't a jerk she would still be alive, and I want them to know I'm sorry. I want them to know that i loved her too.

I stared at their door for a full five minutes before summoning the courage to knock. I know she will hate me when i explain what happened. She will realize, like me, that its my fault. I should be dead, not her. She was the sweet, innocent one, while I'm the messed up jerk. Isn't bad stuff supposed to happen to bad people like me. Oh, wait my life can't get much worse.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Valentine" a short woman with short blonde hair says when the door finally opens. She looked at me for a second and says, "Were you her bofriend?" I manage to nod. I'm scared that if I open my mouth I will just break down and cry. I didn't come for her pity, so I can't cry in front of them. Mrs. Valentine leads me into a large room that has three brown couches. I see a man sitting on one with his face in his hands. He looks up at his wife, I assume, then at me with a questioning look. "This was Cat's boyfriend" Mrs. Valentine said to him and when and sat down next to him. I sat on the couch opposite of them facing them.

"I just want to say, I'm so sorry." I blurted without thinking. Now comes the hard part, "I miss your daughter and I loved her. She was perfect. The only mistake she made was meeting me."

"What do you mean?" Mr. Valentine said sounding confused and defensive.

"I mean that if it weren't for me she would still be alive." I said, earning a gasp of shock from Cat's mom.

"What do you mean?" Mr. Valentine repeated, sounding mildly like a broken record.

"The day Cat died, we got in a fight and she ran out crying and thats the last time I ever saw her. If I wasn't a jerk to her she would still be alive. Her death is my fault." I cautiously looked up expecting to see pure hatred on thier faces. I expected the to scream at me and call the police, then i could spend the rest of my life in jail like the murderer I was. Instead when i looked up I only saw sympathy and hurt. Then I realized that i broke my promise to myself. I was crying like a baby in front of Cat's parents and no matter what I tried I couldn't stop crying. I was doing what I promised myself I wouldn't do. Cat's mom got up and put her arms around me as I helplessly sobbed into her shoulder. I have never felt this much pain, not even when I was seven and I was stabbed by a burglar. Nothing compared to this pain. I've never wanted to see a person so much before or felt this much pain over anyone before.
After I left Cat's house and accomplished nothing, I drove to the park and began to walk along the nature trails in the park. Once I had gotten lost on these trails as a child and I just sat down in the middle of the trail and cried until someone found me.
I walked down one of the sloppily paved trails. There wasn't many people out on the trails at this time so I tried to focus on the sound of the birds as they sang. I used to think their songs were happy but now they sound like they are singing songs of death and sorrow. That's probably just me though.
I was distracted by a strange sound coming from the bushes to my right. They were shaking slightly and moving. I crept closer to see what it was. Even if my heart is destroyed I still want to see what it is.
Ok I regret it.
When I looked through the bushes I saw Jade, my ex-girlfriend, and Andre, my best friend, kissing. Well that hurt.
I didn't think it was possible for my heart to break even more but it just did. My breakup with Jade is still hard to talk about, even after three months, which Andre knows. Ok maybe I'm being selfish but it still hurt.
Now I truly have no one. Cat's gone, Andre betrayed me, and Jade hates me. I guess there's always Tori and Robbie...
Never mind, Tori is too obsessive and Robbie wouldn't understand. Wow, I'm truly alone. I really wanna die. I found one of the hard, cold park benches and sat down. I put my head down to hide the silent tears that were streaming down my face. I really want to die. I hate my life. I looked up and saw Andre and Jade climb out from behind the bush that that they were making out behind. They began to walk down the path in my direction, obviously not noticing me, yet.
"Is that Beck?" Jade's soft voice hissed at Andre who must have nodded because I heard Jade swear.
"Hey Beck!" Andre tried, completely oblivious to my tears.
"Save it" I growled and stood up and pushed past them and began to walk down the trail away from them. I must look pretty messed up because Jade gasped when she saw my face.
I walked away from them struggling not to just break down and sob on the ground in as ball. For some odd reason the idea was really tempting right now.
I managed to make it to my car before I completely fell apart. My silent tears turned into sobs as I sat with my head against the window crying. I just can't do it anymore. I can't live another day like this. I would just drive my car off the road somewhere but then it could be blamed as an accident. I want everyone to know that I just can't do it any more, I want them to know that I will be happier dead. I will be able to see Cat again.
I started my car and drove home in a numb state of anticipation. I entered my RV in a blurred haze. There it is. The medicine cabinet. I grabbed a pen and some paper and wrote: "Im sorry I can't live anymore. I'm all alone. Don't miss me, I'm happier now. I'm with Cat right now, I hope. I'm sorry. I tried but I can't live like this. I've been slowly dying inside since I learned of Cat's death, so I'm just finishing the job. Sorry but I tried and failed,
Don't miss me: Beck
I set the note down next to me and reached in to the medicine cabinet and grabbed a bottle of aspirin and emptied it in to my hand then I tossed them into my mouth and swallowed. Before this the bottle had been more than half full. Now it was empty. I'm scared. I'm really going to die. This is it. Cat I'm coming. Please forgive me. I never stopped loving you. Please take me back. My last thought before I lost consciousness for the last time was: "I love you Cat Valentine". And nothing I've ever thought or said was truer.
The next morning Beck was found dead by Andre when he came to apologize for kissing Jade. Beck's mom heard screaming and ran out to find Andre screaming at her dead son to wake up. Then she realized the pain that he had been feeling and it hurt because she was too late.

I'm not really sure what this is... It just kinda happened...

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