"Are you happy?"
Happy
No one had ever asked him that before. He had never thought about it.
(Was he happy?)
Thoughts swirled in his head, but he continued to stare blankly at her.
That question. He couldn't answer, even to himself, but he would not let her know that.
"You're here to bring me back."
(Back. Back. Home.)
A small smile formed on her previously blank face. She wanted to move her eyes to the ground, the side, anything but his face. No, she couldn't. She had to be strong. She had worked all these years for this.
Bravery. Strength. Courage.
"No."
He was shocked, although his appearance didn't change at all externally. Hadn't they been chasing after him for years (following desperately to catch up)? Why the sudden change?
But she wasn't done speaking.
"I don't want to bring you back (home) if it means you'll resent us." All I want is for you to be happy
(And love…I'm so very tired of fighting…)
His blank stare was unnerving. She almost wanted to disappear in that moment.
But she couldn't. She wouldn't.
Disappear in to a world far better than this.
Her small smile remained on her face. Her eyes glowing with regret, sadness, hurt, pain.
I'm sorry I can't save you from your demons.
Things he was all too familiar with, but things…things she shouldn't be associated with.
(Where was the innocence? Please bring back those eyes.)
In his mind, he knew that he was the cause of it. Or at least a part of it. Nevertheless, he did not feel guilty. In the ninja world, it's only a matter of time before childhood naivety fades away.
Tell yourself anything to take the guilt away.
She continued to look at him to see if he would say something (anything) or give her some sort of reaction (acknowledgement…).
He only continued to stare.
Not that she was surprised, he was never one for any type of communication.
(A glimpse of his former self.)
So she continued (to fill up this lonely silence).
"It is your life." Their gazes stayed locked (funny this is probably the longest moment we've ever shared) before something in her snapped, "Just for a moment forget what everyone else wants from you and just do what will make you happy!"
Live your life, for it is the one thing that is truly yours.
Her tone shocked her. Why did she sound so angry, so desperate? (I need you to understand) She hadn't intended for that or for the words to even come out.
That was the first spark of emotion he had seen from her since their encounter.
Emotion she was once full of.
"What is it that you want?"
What was with her and these questions? (questions that you don't have the answers for)
Her eyes searched his for an answer (anything) only to come up with nothing (are you surprised?).
He closed his eyes and let out a barely audible sigh (as if exasperated, irritated, annoyed).
"Go home, Sakura."
She let out an empty laugh, "You're not going to kill me?"
(Where was the life? Please come back.)
He stared at her for what seemed like an eternity before turning away from her.
I'm use to staring at your back…you're always miles away.
"You're not worth my time."
(Worthless. Worthless. Worthless.)
I may not be worth your time, but you're the only thing worthwhile to me.
Fleetingly she believed that he just couldn't kill her, he couldn't bring himself to because he still cared. (but this wasn't a fairytale)
He took a step away from her.
(You're leaving again.)
Emptiness. Sorrow. Pain.
Then another.
Slowly, but steadily, he was moving away from her.
(Don't go. Don't go. Don't go.)
"You're not alone." His steps faltered slightly, but he covered it up before she noticed.
"You never were…not when we believe in you." We will always believe in you
His steps stopped altogether. Without facing her (how can you face someone you've hurt so much?) he asked a question that has been plaguing his mind for a long time.
"Why don't you give up?" give up on me…
(Why, after everything, do you still care?)
I am a monster.
She stared at his back for a moment before replying with an answer she was never more sure of (I'm always sure of my feelings concerning you).
"Because to me you're not a traitor…
You're not an avenger…
You're not a murderer…
You're not a monster…"
She took a deep breath (why is it that whenever I'm with you, you leave me breathless?), "You're just…just Sasuke." You always will be…
Unconsciously, he turned his head slightly to the side to look at her.
(Someone who will never leave.)
In her eyes, which still held the regret, sadness, hurt, pain (a reflection too much like his own), also contained a small flicker of warmth (love would be too much…).
Like a dying flame.
He turned his face away (awayawayaway) from hers, uttered one more sentence to her, and disappeared into the night.
His words repeated within her head.
"Forget about me."
(Move on, live your life.)
I'm a lost cause.
Forget him. Forget him. Forget him.
She closed her eyes tightly (maybe it will take some of the pain away).
Forget him…if only it were that simple. No matter how much she tried, how much she wanted to, she could never forget him…and at the same time she never truly wanted to.
Her hands balled into tight, shaking fists (maybe it will release some of these emotions).
She had seen him…and let him go.
I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.
(If you love something, let it go.)
She wanted to punch herself she was so angry. It wasn't her plan to let him leave (something he's so good at) when she first saw him. Her first instinct was, as always, to bring him back even if she had to drag him.
If he was home, ANBUs wouldn't be out to kill him.
If he was home, Naruto wouldn't be killing himself to keep his promise.
If he was home, Kakashi wouldn't feel so guilty about failing his team.
If he was home, she wouldn't feel so lonely.
If he was home….(but maybe he never will be…)
But she let him go. Away from home
Please don't leave me.
Why?
She allowed the tears to cascade down her cheeks (maybe it will allow myself to disappear).
Because coming face to face with him she realized she was being selfish.
She wanted him home (where he belongs), but…but if that isn't what he wanted, if that didn't make him happy, then she couldn't do that to him.
She stared longingly at the spot he had just been standing at before hesitantly turning around and returning home.
Please…just be happy.