This was an actual chat I had with some one , If you read this Dave I think I'm in love .
I dont own homestuck but I own the jade parts of the conversation.
turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat.
gardenGnostic [GG] joined chat.
TG: hey jade
GG: hey
GG: Quick question
TG: ?
TG: not to be all up on you
TG: but its not terribly quick there
TG: its okay
GG: i asked you or some other you to think of a vegtable with i was gone
TG: dont remember that
GG: oh.
GG: so it wasn't you or this you. i just confused my self trying to think how you put it
TG: well multiple self syndrome
TG: it happens
TG: you looking for that specific me?
GG: well no
TG: cool
TG: i was starting to wonder if i was second rate to myself
TG: so jade
GG: that dave helped me make sense of x2 Karkat
TG: oh ha
TG: anyway not to be like all about myself or anything
TG: but its kind of a special day
TG: like
TG: if days even matter anymore
GG: your birthday
TG: yeah thats right
TG: you are all on this shit
TG: can always count on you
GG: heh yeah
TG: you are like my best grl for life
TG: all up and knowing stuff
TG: and getting me
GG: your a really fun person to talk to so its a fun thing to get to know you.
TG: well i think your a fun person too jade
GG: aw .
TG: 5 out of 5 hats friend
GG: wait i was makeing a face
TG: top score
TG: ?
TG: what kinda face?
GG: ./-/.
TG: like a sweet face or a haha dave is lame face?
TG: oh
GG: that one
GG: i can do a john face to
TG: wish i could see it for real
TG: not sure if want.
TG: maybe for laughs
GG: oh wait i wanted to ask you something else .
TG: whats up?
GG: did you send me a black and red sword awhile ago?
GG: i just looked up and saw it back on my self and it reminded me to ask
GG: shelf
TG: oh
TG: hmmmm
TG: dont remember that either but
TG: im like
TG: getting all miffed here
TG: my myself
GG: brb
TG: ok
TG: ill be here
TG: just wondering what the hell other self giving you gifts and shit
TG: while im all like
TG: damn
TG: i need to step it up
GG: back
TG: welcome back
TG: but seriously here
GG: and aw you trying to think of ways to out do you?
TG: i am failing
TG: well yeah
TG: i cant be the lesser dave here
TG: that aint cool
TG: what would you like?
TG: more jams?
TG: personalized drawing?
TG: sweet loot?
TG: flowers?
GG: i don't really need any thing im fine as long as we can talk and i guess in some word be together .
TG: hey its not about you needing anything
TG: i know you dont need anything from me
TG: but maybe theres something that you dont need
TG: that youd like anyway
TG: from a cool dude like me
TG: or maybe thatd be the best thing
TG: a cool dude like me
GG: thats what i was trying to figure out how to type. you
TG: put a bow on my head and im yours
GG: more like a collar
TG: ...
GG: innapropriate joke time
TG: ...i could appreciate the irony value of that
GG: i felt that was necessary
TG: it totally was
TG: i stand by your decision
GG: cool for once i got the you who approved of the innapropriot jokes
TG: i give credit where credit is due
TG: now
TG: since i am yours
TG: what would you do with me?
GG: -/_/-
TG: ooooooh
TG: jade is thinking inappropriate thoughts
TG: no its ok
TG: im curious
TG: damn
GG: my mind is stalling because of the since im yours thing
GG: but fun things
TG: well i didnt mean to cause mind stalls
TG: so sorry for that
GG: and yes my mind went to the gutter for a second
GG: twice
TG: oh twice
TG: score
GG: well lets see what would i do
GG: i'd need a situation to exactly say
TG: ok
TG: so ive just been delivered to your doorstep
TG: like
TG: if you even have a doorstep
GG: i do
TG: ok so that
TG: and im tied up in red ribbon
TG: only you can free me
TG: or alternately
TG: turn this into some sort of kooky red ribbon bondage
TG: what do you do?
GG: that was where my mind was going , blunttest thing i will ever type. dragg you inside to the den to fuck you brains out .
GG: short and simple
GG: then maybe make dinner
TG: wow
TG: wow jade
TG: whats for dinner?
TG: am i invited for it?
TG: or do i stay in the den?
TG: im kinda impressed.
TG: and vaguely aroused
GG: junk food , apple juce ,coffee and yes you are invited
TG: sweet
TG: aj
TG: im fucking there
TG: youre a goddess
GG: as i saw in a photo, hardware store isle 15 lubricants, chains , ropes , and tie downs party in isle 15
TG: apparently today is the day for divulging all of your kinky secrets
TG: ok
TG: i dig it
TG: give me aj and ill dig whatever you want
GG: i am probbly the kinkiest one of us four , unless your like the kink god . have you ever tried cherry juice?
TG: for what?
TG: like
TG: i would just assume drinking
GG: yes
TG: but then we are all up in this kinky shit
TG: so i wasnt sure
TG: and nah
TG: you like it?
GG: we're going to the dark side of our selves here normal question on that one thought
GG: yes i like cherry juice
TG: cool we can have a innocent juice party
TG: because we are totally innocent
TG: and doing innocent things
TG: in an innocent way
GG: no .
TG: irony jade
GG: i know , if it were innocent we would be watching random disney movies
TG: i dont know
TG: have you ever seen the second half of bambi?
TG: thats some pretty kinky shit
TG: they are totally talking about having sex
TG: its just veiled
TG: but they are
TG: facts
GG: yep
TG: horny fucking animals
GG: but looking back bambi reminds me of the trolls
TG: hows that?
GG: well karkat mostly
GG: guess
GG: hint?
TG: yeah that would be helpful
GG: ===== horns ======
TG: oh hahaha
TG: because his stubby horns
GG: yep
TG: you talked to him lately?
GG: ugh ,tried to
TG: what happened?
GG: he ended the chat as fast as it opend
GG: anyway
TG: he has some issues
TG: but ive decided that hes actually a pretty good bro
GG: yeah your telling me . i watch 2 of them argue
TG: if you get around his bullshit
TG: yeah
TG: major kudos to you
GG: cryptic bullshit aside i think he would be ...
TG: one is very much enough without compounding it with his being in hate with himself or whatever
GG: i read that wrong
TG: what did you read?
GG: hate , i read it as heat
TG: ahahahahahaha
TG: well same thing with them amirite?
TG: hate heat
GG: mind is in the gutter . and i guess
TG: "oh karkat i hate you so much" "oh fuck yes karkat i hate you too"
TG: ...ok
TG: you know what
TG: i dont want that mental image
GG: my mind isnt doing favors
GG: its already there
TG: we need some brain bleach in here
TG: stat
TG: euguuugh
GG: think of any other perverted thought and maybe it will leave
TG: ok
GG: im slowly burying that image . it will thought in no doubt haunt me
TG: itll appear in our nightmares
TG: but for now
TG: i got this
GG: what red ribbon romp .
GG: more innapropriot things
TG: oh the thing you could do
GG: oh good i thought i broke you
TG: im not that easy to break
TG: made of tougher shit than that
TG: im a strider
TG: its just i usually think stuff and say them
TG: but then when my thoughts are occupied by images
TG: its
TG: different
TG: im here
TG: yeah
GG: .-.
GG: wisdom
GG: question .
TG: wisdom like an owl
TG: an owl telling people to fuck
TG: like bambi
TG: yeah?
GG: yes!
GG: okay apples hold apple seeds right
TG: yep
GG: apples are products of trees reproduceing
TG: theyre the food for the seeds
TG: so like
TG: apple tree placenta
TG: except not really
TG: plants
TG: theyre delicious
GG: would it make that makes apple juice and cherry juice grounded up tree cum , right?
TG: so yeah kinda yeah
TG: ahahahahaha
TG: not really but thats hilarious
GG: my mind wont leave the gutter . T.T
TG: its ok jade
TG: i understand
TG: you cant help it
GG: i appoint my self Queen of the kink kingdom
TG: ive opened the bottle and now all your kinks have tumbled all out
TG: bow down to the queen bitches
GG: you can be the king or slave pick
TG: what kind of a choice is that?
TG: im too awesome to be a mere slave
GG: sex slave
TG: im obviously
TG: a knight of the kingdom because knights are sexier than kings
TG: and the queen totally wants to fuck the knight
TG: hes so got it
TG: and of course hes all there to serve
TG: and honor
TG: her
TG: like an oath
GG: we have a new kingdom , a queen , a knight and no other people
TG: yeah that workss
TG: who needs any other losers anyway
TG: no us
TG: were too fucking cool for that shit
GG: i think we have some flawed logic but i don't care
GG: as the kink queen what would you like for you birthday ?
GG: from me
TG: what flaws?
TG: i dont see any
TG: we are fucking perfect
TG: oh man
GG: two people alone in a castle
TG: oh well maybe we have like magic to take care of shit
GG: there would be two or three out comes of that
TG: you want servants?
TG: and i dont know about the offer
TG: maybe you could surprise me
GG: depends on what would happen over the course of a year . maybe , and don't say supprise because that can end so many ways
TG: but isnt that part of the fun?
TG: i dont know if youre discouraging me jade
GG: some one may end up naked tied up in a box
TG: what size box?
GG: what would fit a five foot six person tied up.
TG: ok how about we ditch the box and get uniforms and pretend someone's been naughty?
GG: i'm up for that .
TG: id be up for that in multiple ways
GG: .w.
TG: I actually have to go!
GG: k
GG: it was fun
TG: definitely
GG: talk later ?
TG: sure
TG: bye
turntechGodhead [TG] disconnected.
gardenGnostic [GG] disconnected.