The Way I Love You

Amu's POV

Dear Ikuto,

You were a great friend. We haven't seen each other in a while and you were on my mind. I'm writing you a letter so that if I ever see you again on the street or something I can give this to you then we can keep on walking. You'll read this and it will cut the last red string that bound us to each other.

You can burn it. Then, finally, it will be as though we never met. We'll be strangers. We'll never meet again. You'll hear of me. I'll hear of you. We'll never speak to each other. We'll never look for each other.

I'm going out with Tadase now. He is a beautiful person with a wonderful personality. He's nothing like you and that's my favorite thing about him. The only thing the two of you have in common as far as I am concerned is both being male and having met through your parents. He loves me. I want you to know that. Unlike you, he's not just playing with me.

He is sensible and so incredible
and all my single friends are jealous.
He says everything I need to hear
and its like I couldn't ask for anything better.
He opens up my door and
I get into his car and he says
you look beautiful tonight.
And I feel perfectly fine.

Tadase is a really nice guy. My friends, my family, even me… believes that I should be with him. We believe this with all our minds. However…

But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain
and it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.

Curse you Ikuto. You baka! You made me fall in love with you stupid, perverted idiot!!!
You're so in love that you act insane
and that's the way I loved you.
And breakin' out and comin' undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.

When you're around me you act like a super pervert.

Whenever I'm around you my heart beats faster than is good for me… You make me angry, you make me flustered. You release a side of me I didn't know existed. One that only you can bring out. You show me that there's more to me than all the charas in the world could express.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.

You made me feel everything as if it was new and the world had some under lying meaning when shown your way… Ikuto, you could make the world revolve around us.

He respects my space
and never makes me wait
and he calls exactly when he says he will.

Tadase doesn't just show up at my house. He doesn't sneak into my room uninvited. He's never slept in my bed. When we go out he's on time and if he says he'll call he does. He never leaves me when he makes a bet that requires he be there to fulfill it, unlike some person I know. Cough cough~you~cough cough


He's close to my mother
and talks business with my father.
He's charming and endearing
and I'm comfortable.

My mom thinks he's a really nice boy. She's the one who let it him in, that time when I forced you into the closet. She is a major supporter of my going out with Tadase. My dad's even growing used to him. I don't think he'd ever get used to you. No. Never.

He's a gentleman and treats me like a lady. When I say stop even if I'm joking he respects that and does whatever I ask. He doesn't make me all uncomfortable like you. He doesn't embarrass me like you used to.


But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain
and it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.

But for some reason I'm standing here on my balcony thinking about you. I remember all our fights and special moments. I remember that time at the airport. You're the only guy other than my relatives who's ever kissed me on the cheek. No one's kissed me on the lips. You were the closest. At the time I thought you'd do it. I laugh until I cry every time I remember it.
You're so in love that you act insane
and that's the way I loved you.
And breakin' out and comin' undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.

I don't think I'll ever forget how you told me you were going away. There were a lot of emotional highs and lows that night. We had the biggest falling out of our relationship and the next day you kissed me, got off the ride and left me. You texted me at random times for a while. You texted Tadase every time, too. Then it all stopped. I admit it, hurt for a while. And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
I never knew before I met you that I could feel so deeply about another person. I used to love you.

He can't see the smile I'm fakin'.
And my heart's not breakin'.

Tadase doesn't see through me like you did. No one does. No one can replace you in that way. It's a minus to your absence, but then again he doesn't hurt me like you did.
Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all.

I don't love him as much as I loved you. Notice that I'm using the past tense.


And you were wild and crazy.
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated,
got away like some mistake.

You irritated me. I vaguely remember telling you to go to hell on occasion. You always did whatever you wanted. Well… most of the time. Not when Easter was controlling you, but other than that…

My mind was fixated on you and I know that you knew it. You always made me blush and you'd ask what I was thinking. You already knew I was thinking about you.

I think that in the entire world, you are the most difficult to understand. You didn't feel anything. I mean you didn't love anyone but yourself. Still, it doesn't matter to me. I miss you…

And I,
I miss screamin', and fightin', and kissin' in the rain
it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.

Man, it's two in the morning and I am still out here. Thinking of you. I miss screaming at you and calling you a perv. I miss acting like I was angry when I wasn't sure how I felt around you. (a/n note: this is crossed out)I miss dreaming about kissing you. (a/n note: this is crossed out)
I'm so in love that I acted insane.
And that's the way I loved you.

I'm so in love with you that I acted like I hated you. I acted crazy. You embarrassed me. I made it so easy to embarrass me without even trying because I would be thinking about you so much I would get distracted.
Breakin' out and comin' undone
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.

I'm just going to come out with it right now. I am in love with you. I know I said it was in the past, but I lied. (A/N: after reading this paragraph Amu screamed and crossed it out.)I bet I'll die as an old love-sick virgin. (A/N: crossed out ends here, for now.) I bet I'll die as an old lady with no husband and no kids. Look what you've done to me, perverted old man! You've turned me into your own fangirl and you gave me OCD. Thanks… not! That's so uncool.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And that's the way I loved you.
See, even when you're far away you can still make me angry. I didn't know I loved you this much. I'm going to try to get over you. It'll be hard, but I'm determined. So seriously. Don't look for me. I'll find some cool guy who loves me enough to stick around. I'll find a guy who I love back. Maybe I can fall in love with Tadase.
And that's the way I loved you.
I didn't know that I loved you enough to do this, but I think I'm strong enough so I will try. I'm going to let you go. Cats don't live in bird cages for a reason. I'll set you free. Don't ever find me.
Never knew I could feel that much.
I didn't know I loved you enough to do that.
And that's the way I loved you.

So please, don't look for me. I doubt that I have enough strength to let you go more than once. I love you.

From a stranger,

Formerly known as Amu-chan

Gin's corner:

I don't own any of the stories I write fanfics about.

If I get a request from someone to make another one of these like from Ikuto's side I'll try. Please review I really like to know what people think of my writing.

Thanks for reading.

: )