It took a lot to make me realize I was in love with my best friend, my best guy friend at that. At first I thought the tight feeling in my chest when he was around was because I envied what he had: a girlfriend, even though she called him that ridiculous name…Won-Won. I mean come on, how much more immature and childish can you get? Then when I got the same tight, twisted feeling around his sister Ginny I figured I was just envious of her as well. Not once did I think maybe I was feeling like this because I was gay and wanted to have what both girls had: a boyfriend. Not until Hermione pointed out my reaction to both couples did I realize that I was gay.
It took said obnoxious girlfriend of my best friend and secret (so secret I didn't even know) crush and a near death trip to the Hospital Wing for me to realize it. Seeing Ron drink the mead and then just fall like that…scared me on a level much deeper than just friends. I remember barely giving any thought to anything else other than the fact my best friend who I had odd feelings for, was laying on the floor in Professor Slughorn's sitting room dying from poison. Everything after that, shoving a bezoar down his throat, rushing him to the Hospital Wing, became a blur.
The next thing I know I'm standing in a corner of the Wing as Ron is getting worked on by Madame Pomphery and then as Lavender rushes in, crying and howling hysterically about her 'Won-Won' almost dying. It was then that I felt something I hadn't yet: rage; an all-consuming, tear down anything in its path, kind of rage. It took me a minute to figure out who I was mad at, And then it hit me just as I focused on Ron's bed and saw Lavender splayed over it, I was jealous, not of Ron, but of Lavender.
I was jealous of Lavender because I liked Ron like she did and I wanted to be the one holding his hand and begging him to be okay. No her, me. I didn't realize my face showed it all until two things happened, Hermione rushed in and some bottles on the nearby shelf began to shake. The next thing I know I'm out in the corridor with Hermione and she's speaking to m, although I can't understand her. Then like a swimmer breaking the surface her voice floods my ears. "…you need to accept your feelings Harry. I know how confused you must be but he has to know and the only way that can happen is if you confess your feelings, first to yourself." I blink rapidly and shake my head like a dog rids itself of water.
"You are absolutely right Hermione. I just now figured out what my heart has known for weeks now apparently." I laughed a bit at Hermione's mutter of "boys..." and continue on as if I hadn't heard. "So as soon as Pompherfy kicks 'Lav-Lav' out I'm going to tell him, whether he is awake or not." Hermione smiles approvingly at me and we lean against the stone wall to wait. We don't have to wait too much longer for a still sniffling; puffy eyed Lavender to come out of the room looking like someone kicked her puppy.
Taking that as my cue I give 'Mione a one-armed hug and enter the room. One glance at Ron tells me he is awake even if his eyes are closed. "She's got mate." I say and as I do his blue eyes spring open and I hear a relieved sigh. "So I take it you are second guessing you and Lav-Lav" I ask, laughing when he wrinkles his nose at the horrid pet name.
"Do me a favor mate and pick my next girlfriend, I'm lousy at it." Ron grouses from the bed. I smirk to myself, well better late than never. "Well Ron how about your next boyfriend instead?" At my question/hint he jerks and looks at me. 'Harry…um…how did..?" I laugh at his floundering and decide to save him the trouble. "Hermione figured it out. Apparently we are both idiots for not seeing what is right in front of us. So what do you say?' My smile fades to a hopeful small grin as he mulls it over. "I say…always the smart one that girl. Come here." My heart seemed to leap into my throat then back down again as I take the spot he pats to on the edge of the bed. Then without warning his lips are on mine, rough and chapped, as mine are but oh so right.
Pulling away I gulp in a needed breath and, leaning my forehead against his say, "Remind me to thank 'Mione." "And Lavender." He replies before going in for another kiss.