Okay, while I was trying to write a chapter for my other fic "Losing My Religion", this idea came into my head and I just couldn't turn it down. I'm not neglecting my other fanfic, its just taken me a while to write it lol. Anyway, this fanfic occurs long after SEASON 3. All you really have to know is that Sawyer and Kate escaped and Jack stayed behind.
This is a ONESHOT JATE but angsty so you are forewarned. Please REVIEW...I'd really like to know if this is any good and how to improve. If you hate it just let me know...nicely though please :-)
The song that starts at the middle of it is called I love you by Sarah McLachlan.
Disclaimer: Don't own the song or her or anything like that
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of plots etc. from lost. The only two characters that I own in this fic are Abe and Curt ( who just make an appearance). Everything else belongs to ABC, J.J., etc...
Hope you enjoy!
Ocean waves, Horizon lines
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1Corintheins 13; 4-7
He knows that she's watching him; they all are. It's been over two years and they still watch him-wondering, waiting, to see what he will do. They know he's not stupid enough to try to run again, his last efforts ending in a fractured elbow and several broken ribs, but it doesn't ease their suspicion.
And he knows it.
This is the first time they let him outside and he couldn't help but feel apprehensive when they opened the steel door and let him walk upon the solid ground.
"Jack," Alex said as she escorted him, "Please, don't-"
"I know." He replied, "I'm not going to run. Learned that the hard way."
He gave a crooked smile to the shy teenager as they continued through the jungle. The gun she pressed against his back didn't scare him as it used to. She wasn't like the others; she hadn't been the one who caused the fresh scar above his right eyebrow; she didn't try to poison or torture him; she would bring him things in the middle of the night; food, books, magazines. He asked her once if the others knew what she was doing. The look he got in reply confirmed that he could never mention it to anybody.
"Is it safe to ask, where are we going?" He asked his voice in monotone.
"No," She said, trying hard not to sound too harsh.
"Then I won't ask." He replied.
"Thank you," He said his voice just above a whisper. "For the-"
"Don't" Her voice was urgent, "You can't tell any-"
"I know," He said, "Just wanted to…you don't know what it means to me."
"I think I have an idea." Alex smiled. They were almost there. "Just remember, to put them somewhere they can't find it."
"Don't worry," He said, feeling the light weight of them in his pocket.
"I'm not." She smiled at him again, and he let out a light chuckle. They walked several more yards before she spoke again. "I think you're going to like this. I had to pull a few strings for them to go for this."
"You're saying I owe you," He joked.
"Not really," She said, the humor now fading. "The last time I was here was even before you showed up. Sometimes I think they trust you more than they trust me…."
He wanted to say something; anything, to help make her feel better, but he couldn't find the right words. There was an unspoken agreement about their relationship. She was the closest thing he had to a friend, despite what Juliet and Tom said.
"We're here." She said.
He didn't want to believe the sight before his eyes. But there it was, just as he had remembered it. Perfect, beautiful and untouched.
"You have 2 hours." Alex said she untied his hands from behind his back. "I won't be too far so if you need me, just yell. Abe and Curt are right there," She pointed to the too figures, "and Juliet should be here soon with Bea."
"Jack." She said, a familiar urgency in her voice.
"I know." He said, unable to tear his eyes from the view before him. "Don't run."
He didn't move when she left his side. Not even when Curt gestured him over. He wanted to move; to be able to walk along the beach as if he didn't remember, as if it didn't matter. He wanted to forget about her, to be able to have one night of sleep where her eyes, her smile, and her laughter didn't echo throughout his dreams. But despite it all, he just couldn't let her go.
I Love You
I have a smile stretched from ear to ear (pause)
To see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights, I stare for a while
The world around us disappears
It was over 30 minutes later before he first stepped onto the sand. By then, Juliet and Bea had made their appearance. The only reason he noticed them was because they had disrupted his thoughts, crossing the sandy shore through his line of sight.
His first steps onto the uneven ground took him off balance at first. It had been a while since he walked on sand. They were watching him as he slowly made his way towards the shore, but he didn't care. They always watched him and the more time had passed the more he had gotten used to ignoring it.
He made his way towards the shore. It wasn't easy, each step only taking him further back to a time when he would have given anything to not have to look at the beach ever again.
It's just you and me on my island of hope
A breath between us could be miles
He took a sharp intake of air as the water first thrust against his feet. He let the sensation of the cold liquid travel throughout his body before taking several more steps towards the ocean.
He had been waiting for this for two years; to be this close to her. He felt the contents in his pocket as he pressed his palm to his side. He could walk away- right now; he could pretend that everything was okay; he could pretend that he had moved on, that she didn't matter anymore. Every fiber in his body was telling him to let her go; to forget.
Let me surround you, a sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
All but one possibility; one moment.
But everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
It wasn't their kiss, although he'd give anything to feel her lips against his one once more; it wasn't when they got caught in the net, despite the incredible feeling of her body pressed up against his.
And you just walk away
It was on a day not so different from this one, on a beach almost identical to the one before him now. She wasn't talking, she wasn't laughing- she was just there. Her back towards him as she faced the ocean.
Despite his better judgment, all of the signs pointing in the other direction, he couldn't help it as he walked towards her. It was then that he truly believed the shore, the sand, and the horizon were solely made for that moment.
And I forgot to tell you
I love you
She was sinking.
Now, as he let the water bury his feet beneath the sand, he couldn't help but feel a bit of comfort at the possibility that this was the same water and the same sand that surrounded her ankles. He couldn't resist the urge as his hand searched his pocket and pulled out their contents, nor he could refuse the tears that threatened to spill over onto his cheeks.
They were pictures.
And the night's too long
And cold here
Of her.
Without you
It was the last thing Alex had gotten him. He tried to ask her where she got it and how she got them but she refused to tell him. She said it didn't matter.
There were four in total. At first glance, the one at the top of the pile didn't look like her. It was a woman with blonde hair, but Jack knew better than that. There couldn't have been another woman on earth with the same eyes, the same smile, or the same freckles.
I grieve in my condition
He recognized the second one: her mug shot. He didn't spend too much time on that one, because he had already spent enough time on it when they first crashed on the island.
For I cannot find the words to say
I need you so
The third surprised him at first. It was of the both of them, eating and laughing with each other. He knew the others had probably kept tabs on them from the moment they had crashed on the island, but he never had expected them to take pictures. Alex told him that once Michael brought them to their camp, they had stopped their surveillance. He wanted to believe her.
And everytime I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
The last one was his favorite. It must have been taken before they were on the island because the background resembled a city. She was walking, to where he didn't know. There was a piece of paper in her hand, accompanied by an envelope in her other hand. The picture was taken at the perfect moment. She was smiling-not one of those smiles she does before she laughs, but of one Jack had rarely seen. She was content.
And I forgot to tell you
I love you
He slowly raised the photo to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on it, before placing all of them safely back into his pocket. The sun was painting streaks of colors along the horizon as it faded. It was almost time to go.
And the night's too long
And cold here
There would be times when he'd contemplate everything he did wrong; everything he could have had, had he only done what was told to do, had he put his needs first. It would be in these moments that he'd remember her and know that under no circumstances would he have done anything different.
"I know that you love her. That you miss her," She said, shaking Jack from his thoughts. "Just remember that Kate is-"
"No," Jack interrupted, his voice cracking with emotion. "You don't get to say her name. Ever."
Without you
"I'm just trying-" Juliet insisted.
"No." Jack repeated, his eyes still transfixed by the ocean waves. "You don't get to try to make me feel better either."
I grieve in my condition
"You could go for a swim." She said. "I know you're not going to try to escape. We have enough time if you-"
"I'm fine here." He said, trying desperately to keep his emotions under check.
For I cannot find the words to say
"I don't want you to hate me, Jack." Juliet tried again, her voice softer than before. "All I'm saying is that while you're out here you should do something."
"But I am doing something," He said, smiling out towards the horizon. "I'm sinking."
I need you so
A lone tear traveled down his cheek and it was then that for the first time in over two years, Jack had finally felt like he was home.
I need you
A/N: What did you think? Please REVIEW!!!!