Game of Pretends, Durarara! [G]
By Gigglepud (Written for round 4 of Battleships)
Because her life is shattering, and he's the only one that can save her. Erika/Walker. Hurt/Comfort. Semi-introspective piece that look into Erika and Walker's dark, serious past.
She will always laugh the loudest when someone shares a joke, and sometimes, she will care enough to share one of her own. When Walker buys the limited edition DVD set for a new anime, she will jump and squeal like the fangirl she's supposed to be. And when she gets a summon by Dotachin, she'll exaggerate the the epicness of their Dollars mission because it feels so good to pretend to be the badass hero of an anime.
But only when she's alone does she stop being so fake. Only then, can she put away forced laughter she makes, and the false excitement in her eyes that fools even Dotachin. Her silent screams remain unnoticed into the night, as tears fill her eyes in the more-than-literal darkness. She can't run away from it, she knows. But until she breaks, she'll just keep pretending. Because she knows she doesn't deserve the help she'll get if she screams aloud.
He has always been there for her in the past, and all he really wants is to make sure she'll always be happy. He knows her too well to accept the cheerfulness Erika shows to the world. He knows her too well to not see her pretence. He'll smile with her, and laugh with her. He'll pretend he doesn't see through her mask, because that's the way she wants it. But he won't let her face the darkness alone. He wasn't there for her back then, but he'll be there for her now.
He was the one who had it lucky, who didn't have to carry any sin on his shoulders. But he refuses to accept a world where Erika can only cry alone. He screwed up once when they were young, and Erika suffered for it, but he'll be damned before he lets that happen again. Erika had given him the power to smile, but he knows it's meaningless unless she's smiling with him.
They are standing together as they watch the incoming locomotive arrive at the platform on this fateful summer afternoon. Erika can still remember a similar scene from years ago, and she's lost and confused from the memories. Walker sees her flinch, and pulls her closer to embrace her. She doesn't forget the weights on her heart when she first arrived in Ikkebukuro, and she doesn't deny the accusing voices in her head that tells her she's only running away. He know she wants to forget; to escape the heaviness of her guilt, but he knows she won't allow herself to escape from her sins. Perhaps coming to Ikkebukuro was enough of an escape years ago, but now it's different.
This is the only solution.
For a long while now, they have both been considering this option, but he'll miss the people here, and she'll miss the noise and crowds. There is a nostalgic feeling in their hearts as they board the vehicle that had brought them to this fateful city; the same vehicle that will now carry them away. To go back to their hometown for an indefinite time, Walker wants to promise their return, but he knows all too well there won't be a return unless they can confront and release themselves from their past.
"You ready to go back?" Walker asks, and for the first time in years, it's not a smile that's on his face.
Erika nods with her classic cheerful grin, then leans onto Walker's shoulder as they settle in their seats. He's real, even if nothing else in her life is, and he had heard her screams. As long as he's with her, she's confident there's a chance they'll return to Ikkebukuro one day. And she hopes when that time comes, the smile on her face could be just a little bit more real.
A/N: Ahahaha... introspective? what? did I ever say that? :'D Yeah... I wrote the first para... and then realised I didn't know how to develop a plot... So. Anyway. the bolded parts are just like... showing perspective change or something :P and like... yeah please don't ask what I wrote. I don't get it either, lol xD
Thanks for reading, though. And reviews + criticism would be appreciated :)