Kurama valued greatness.
Something that excelled had strength, determination, and luck. All traits to respect.
A flower that was great would live and grow and show its beauty before giving rise to more of its kind.
A great warrior survived, as did the people or ideals that he fought to protect.
Yes, Kurama valued greatness. He even admired it, in some areas, where he knew himself to be lacking.
Perhaps that was why he first started admiring Yukina.
She was no warrior. She was gentle, kind, soft, naïve, always forgiving, always such a good person.
So skilled in areas that Kurama was not.
But how did she do it? How did she forgive everything, hold such an unassuming air around her more palpable than any spirit energy he'd felt, smile so divinely and still say 'please' and 'thank you' as though they were at all equals?
How was she so beautiful inside and out?
It was a kind of greatness that Kurama couldn't comprehend.
He'd lived as a human too long. He had picked up their compulsion to have and investigate and possess what they did not understand.
But it was only curiosity.
Because there are things that a demon can't learn from humans.
And Kurama was not strong enough to match her in anything more.
Yukina envied poise.
She had never had it.
Whatever had kept her from crying when something so bad had happened to her wasn't poise. It was just cutting off a part of herself and giving it to the birds to keep safe.
And, besides, poise was more than just being unaffected and in control. It was knowing everything, never having to laugh along with everyone else when she didn't understand why watching the protective, strong Hiei becoming angry at well-meaning, unwavering Kuwabara was so funny.
Kurama never laughed when he didn't understand.
Kurama just stayed still, thinking, turning the world over like a jewel in a dragon's treasure. He looked out at a world that he could face without fear.
Kurama was strong in a way that Yukina was not.
Yukina thought that maybe what she felt for Kurama was like in the books that Botan showed her, but better. It filled her, more solid and slowly-built and real. Love.
Not the kind of love that the other korime women warned her against when she was young. Not the bad kind, the kind that burns hot and melts korime and drives them to horrible things.
No, a good kind of love.
But when she told Keiko, Yukina was taken aside and sternly warned that this was called a 'crush' because someone's feelings always were. How well did Yukina really know him? How many times had they even spoken?
So Yukina promised Keiko that everything was going to be fine, that she wouldn't let herself be hurt.
And then she hesitated.
The only way that no one would be hurt was if Kurama was anything like what she thought and didn't want to hurt her.
But she talked to him anyway.
With as much poise as she could manage.
Kurama was reading a book when Yukina came in, politely closing the door behind her. He looked up, quietly went through a series of panic modes, shut his book, and said evenly, "Is there something wrong?"
Her cheeks were red, she was breathing quickly, there was a kind of fear in her eyes…. But Yukina forced herself to take a deep breath and remember that she was poised. "I wanted to tell you something."
Kurama didn't like that she wasn't smiling, but said, "Very well."
"I think I love you," she breathed quickly, pressing her lips together in a thin line and chewing on them from the inside.
Kurama's higher brain functions shut down. The best he could hope for was, "Oh."
She leaned forward, hands against her stomach and making her bend at the waist. "I'm sorry! That might not be the right word for what I mean. Keiko said that it's a crush, but that sounds unpleasant. But she also said that I don't really know you that well, and I suppose I don't, but I thought that if I came here and talked to you about it…" She caught herself talking to fast – she really did wish that she had any of that most elusive of traits. She finished hopefully, "Well, I just thought that you would know what to do."
Kurama said, "Oh," again, but that wasn't helping. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to think of a full sentence. He ventured, "Why do you think that you… love me?"
She moved her fingers; lacing them together, turning them over, sliding them apart, lacing them together again in an endless cycle. "It's… complicated."
He raised his eyebrows. "You have my full attention." He stood and crossed the room to stand next to her. In a conspiring tone, he suggested, "Though perhaps we will both be more comfortable if we sit."
So she blushed, and felt foolish for staying next to the door like a frightened animal, and let him lead her to a chair right next to his own. "I admire you, is what I really mean. You're always calm, and you aren't afraid – even when you're in a battle! – and you're just…" She sighed, and finished in a small voice, "I really admire you."
Kurama shifted in his chair, looking for the right words. "That's very flattering, Yukina. I appreciate it. And I admire you, as well."
She blinked large, red eyes at him, and then focused back on her hands. "I don't know why. I can't fight, like all of you. I don't know why anyone keeps me around."
Kurama opened his mouth in surprise. "What? No! Between Hiei, Kuwabara, and Yusuke, the only peace they all reach is around you. You have a calming presence about you, and none of us would be able to cope without it. I thought you knew that."
Yukina drew her eyebrows together, unsure. "No one ever fights really badly around me…"
"It's much, much worse without you. You would be amazed. I still can't believe that Hiei hasn't killed us all yet."
"Hiei? But he's… he's a protector! He would never do something so bad!"
"Not around you." He took both her hands in his, and looked right into her eyes. "Yukina, you are a wonderful person. Believe me. You shouldn't waste your time with someone like me."
She gasped, and Kurama was afraid that she would begin to cry. Then, she took her hands back and demanded, "Don't you think that I can make this kind of decision for myself?"
He leaned back, completely shocked. "Wh-what?"
She followed him, sitting on the edge of her seat. "I… I like you. Alright? I've made my choice. You can't make it for me."
Kurama gathered himself, and found that he was smiling. "I'm sorry, Yukina. Sincerely. You're right, I shouldn't presume…"
She nodded to herself. "But what I want to know is, are you willing to… um, see if you can like me back?"
He put a hand over his mouth, suppressing amused laughter. "I'll try my best."
"I don't want to inconvenience you," she said immediately.
His palms turned up to her again, inviting hers. Her fingertips hesitantly brushed his skin. Kurama took her hands and rubbed the backs of them with his thumbs. His mouth was straight and serious, but his eyes were smiling, which was better than anything before. "I already do. I like you."
She stared at him for a few seconds, waiting for his words to mutate into something snide and evil. They didn't. A light started to shine in her eyes, and then in the vicinity of her heart.
Maybe I'm almost as brave as he is, Yukina thought.
Maybe I can match her in this, Kurama thought.
And here was the balance…
...Two halves of a whole.