The Sacred Institute of Marriage
By Me Gots No Name
Disclaimer: Aw, Hell! You know!
The game is over. The story is finished. Stick a fork in it, it's done like tonight's dinner. Now it's time to do the epilogue thing! Wai! Cait Sith is back to his post in the Gold Saucer doing what he does best. Or worst, you decide.
Cait Sith: "You will create a great beginning to a story, but find it hard to stick with. Don't give up! Your lucky number is 37."
Oh yes. Thank you.
*Moggy begins to ring.*
Cait Sith: Okay, coming. Coming.
*Cait Sith unzips Moggy's back, pulls out a phone booth, steps in, & answers the phone.*
Cait Sith: Hello?
???: Salutations, Cait Sith.
Cait Sith: I don't wanna subscribe to yer magazine.
???: No, it's me, Vincent.
Cait Sith: Oh! Sorry, Vinny. ' I thought "Salutations" was the name of the magazine.
Vincent: Yes, right. '. Anyway, Cid came to visit me a couple of days ago with a rather disturbing problem & we could use some help.
Cait Sith: Aw, I'm so flattered that you would call me for something like this.
Vincent: Actually, none of the lawyers we called were willing to take the case.
Cait Sith: Ah.
*Awkward Silence.*
Vincent: So, uh, see you at my place at 8?
Cait Sith: Oh yeah. Sure. Okay.
Vincent: Bye.
Cait Sith: Bye.
*Cait Sith puts phone booth back in Moggy, hops back on, & whistles for a cab, which drives up instantly.*
Cabbie: Yeah, where to?
Cait Sith: Nibelheim, & step on it.
*In 2 7/8 seconds, they're in front of the mansion like they were there the whole time.*
Cabbie: Damn wormhole's on the blink again. At any normal rate, it'd only take 1 1/8 seconds to get here.
Cait Sith: Okay, here's your fare.
*Cabbie takes the gil, bites on it, & disappears via wormhole.*
Cid: CAIT SITH! WHAT THE %&$@ TOOK YOU SO %&$@ING LONG, YOU %&$@ING MOTHER %&$@ER?!? WE GOT A REAL %&$@ING PROBLEM ON OUR %&$@ING HANDS HERE, GOD%&$@IT!!!!!
Cait Sith: Good to see you too, Cid.
Vincent: Hello Cait Sith.
Cait Sith: Hi Vinny! ^_^ So you guys have a problem?
Vincent: Well, Cid & I recently discovered that some poor, deluded souls think we are sick, perverted individuals.
Cid: & EVERYONE'S POSTING PICS OF ME & VINNY IN THE SACK ON THE INTERNET!!!
Cait Sith: Is that all?
Vincent: More or less.
Cait Sith: There's an easy solution to this problem.
Cid: WHAT IS IT, GOD%&$@IT?!?
Cait Sith: One of you gets married to some broad.
*They stare wide~eyed at Cait Sith for the simplicity yet genius of his plan.*
Vincent: But that doesn't seem like a good reason to get married. Just to quell rumors.
Cid: Yeah, rumors that we're gay! It's just something that has to be done, otherwise I'll never get to watch Dukes of Hazzard in peace.
Cait Sith: Okay, so which one of you wants to get married?
*Cid & Vincent point at each other.*
Cid: You should, Vincent. You're older.
Vincent: Not physically, Cid. You ought to.
Cid: But you could land a babe easy!
Vincent: I could never marry a woman other that Lucrecia. If I did anything else.
Cait Sith: Oh no, here it comes.
Vincent: That would. That would be a sin!
*Runs downstairs to his coffin.*
Cait Sith: Vincent! Come back!
Vincent (in his coffin): I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned.
Cait Sith: Come out, Vincent. It's all right!
Cid: For crying out %&$@ Vincent! You DIDN'T sin!
Vincent (wailing): I HAVE SINNED!!!!! *Sob* I have sinned. *Whimper*
Cait Sith: Cid, you're the only one emotionally healthy enough to get married.
*Vincent opens his coffin & sits up.*
Vincent: WHAAAAA!!! Why did she leave me for Hojo, Cait Sith? WHY?!?
Cait Sith: It's okay, Vinny. It's all in the past.
*Vincent straightens up.*
Vincent: ....'k....
Cid: Yeah, but who exactly'd wanna marry me?
Cait Sith & Vincent: Shera.
Cid: %&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@!!!!!!!!!!
Vincent: He certainly sounds eager to be married.
Cait Sith: Okay, that's settled. Now let's get to Rocket Town & get to work.
So we have the main story line. Like it? Love it? Want some more of it? Well, whether ya do or not, yer gonna get it, so get ya some or get yer butt elsewhere.
Disclaimer: Aw, Hell! You know!
The game is over. The story is finished. Stick a fork in it, it's done like tonight's dinner. Now it's time to do the epilogue thing! Wai! Cait Sith is back to his post in the Gold Saucer doing what he does best. Or worst, you decide.
Cait Sith: "You will create a great beginning to a story, but find it hard to stick with. Don't give up! Your lucky number is 37."
Oh yes. Thank you.
*Moggy begins to ring.*
Cait Sith: Okay, coming. Coming.
*Cait Sith unzips Moggy's back, pulls out a phone booth, steps in, & answers the phone.*
Cait Sith: Hello?
???: Salutations, Cait Sith.
Cait Sith: I don't wanna subscribe to yer magazine.
???: No, it's me, Vincent.
Cait Sith: Oh! Sorry, Vinny. ' I thought "Salutations" was the name of the magazine.
Vincent: Yes, right. '. Anyway, Cid came to visit me a couple of days ago with a rather disturbing problem & we could use some help.
Cait Sith: Aw, I'm so flattered that you would call me for something like this.
Vincent: Actually, none of the lawyers we called were willing to take the case.
Cait Sith: Ah.
*Awkward Silence.*
Vincent: So, uh, see you at my place at 8?
Cait Sith: Oh yeah. Sure. Okay.
Vincent: Bye.
Cait Sith: Bye.
*Cait Sith puts phone booth back in Moggy, hops back on, & whistles for a cab, which drives up instantly.*
Cabbie: Yeah, where to?
Cait Sith: Nibelheim, & step on it.
*In 2 7/8 seconds, they're in front of the mansion like they were there the whole time.*
Cabbie: Damn wormhole's on the blink again. At any normal rate, it'd only take 1 1/8 seconds to get here.
Cait Sith: Okay, here's your fare.
*Cabbie takes the gil, bites on it, & disappears via wormhole.*
Cid: CAIT SITH! WHAT THE %&$@ TOOK YOU SO %&$@ING LONG, YOU %&$@ING MOTHER %&$@ER?!? WE GOT A REAL %&$@ING PROBLEM ON OUR %&$@ING HANDS HERE, GOD%&$@IT!!!!!
Cait Sith: Good to see you too, Cid.
Vincent: Hello Cait Sith.
Cait Sith: Hi Vinny! ^_^ So you guys have a problem?
Vincent: Well, Cid & I recently discovered that some poor, deluded souls think we are sick, perverted individuals.
Cid: & EVERYONE'S POSTING PICS OF ME & VINNY IN THE SACK ON THE INTERNET!!!
Cait Sith: Is that all?
Vincent: More or less.
Cait Sith: There's an easy solution to this problem.
Cid: WHAT IS IT, GOD%&$@IT?!?
Cait Sith: One of you gets married to some broad.
*They stare wide~eyed at Cait Sith for the simplicity yet genius of his plan.*
Vincent: But that doesn't seem like a good reason to get married. Just to quell rumors.
Cid: Yeah, rumors that we're gay! It's just something that has to be done, otherwise I'll never get to watch Dukes of Hazzard in peace.
Cait Sith: Okay, so which one of you wants to get married?
*Cid & Vincent point at each other.*
Cid: You should, Vincent. You're older.
Vincent: Not physically, Cid. You ought to.
Cid: But you could land a babe easy!
Vincent: I could never marry a woman other that Lucrecia. If I did anything else.
Cait Sith: Oh no, here it comes.
Vincent: That would. That would be a sin!
*Runs downstairs to his coffin.*
Cait Sith: Vincent! Come back!
Vincent (in his coffin): I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned.
Cait Sith: Come out, Vincent. It's all right!
Cid: For crying out %&$@ Vincent! You DIDN'T sin!
Vincent (wailing): I HAVE SINNED!!!!! *Sob* I have sinned. *Whimper*
Cait Sith: Cid, you're the only one emotionally healthy enough to get married.
*Vincent opens his coffin & sits up.*
Vincent: WHAAAAA!!! Why did she leave me for Hojo, Cait Sith? WHY?!?
Cait Sith: It's okay, Vinny. It's all in the past.
*Vincent straightens up.*
Vincent: ....'k....
Cid: Yeah, but who exactly'd wanna marry me?
Cait Sith & Vincent: Shera.
Cid: %&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@%&$@!!!!!!!!!!
Vincent: He certainly sounds eager to be married.
Cait Sith: Okay, that's settled. Now let's get to Rocket Town & get to work.
So we have the main story line. Like it? Love it? Want some more of it? Well, whether ya do or not, yer gonna get it, so get ya some or get yer butt elsewhere.