"I got troubles oh, but not today
Cause they're gonna wash away
They're gonna wash away"
Today Leah did something she hasn't done in a long, long time: she went to mass. She never really felt the need to in the last year, God had already screwed her over a few times. She didn't want to push him. But, today was special. Today was the anniversary of her fathers death, and she felt it would be disrespectful to skip the Sunday ritual today; of all days.
"And I have sins Lord, but not today
Cause they're gonna wash away
They're gonna wash away"
Apparently the same thought hadn't occurred to Seth and her mother, because she sat in that pew with her head bent down--alone. Seth was with his imprint--the thought made Leah grimace at the floor--and Sue was with Charlie. Leah has an inkling suspicion that Sue knew what day it was, but she didn't acknowledge it. Because acknowledging it was like coming to terms with the fact that her father wasn't coming back, ever. Leah had trouble with it, too. But, even though she didn't believe it herself, Leah was stronger than her family. She had dealt with so much shit that her fathers death was like a cherry on top of her sucky ice cream sundae.
"And I had friends oh, but not today
Cause they're done washed away
They're done washed away"
The minister was droning on and on about redemption or something of that nature, but Leah wasn't listening. Leah was remembering.
She remembered her first birthday, when her father had gotten her a kiddy sized motorcycle. She couldn't even walk yet, but her father fought with Sue until she caved. She remembered Harry's big smile when her presented it to her infant self and she felt herself smile too.
She remembered when she first went to kindergarten, her mother and father watched as she got onto the bus, huge proud smiles covering there faces as she waved at them from the bus.
She didn't try and go any further into the memories, because as she got older she got more devious. She'd lie to her father, yell, scream, fight. And she only wanted to dredge up happy memories.
"And oh, I've been cryin'
And oh, I've been cryin'
And oh, no more cryin'
No, no more cryin' here"
Leah didn't realize that she was crying until she felt fat, hot tears on her cheeks. She tried to choke the tears back and speak "Dad," her voice broke, "I know your supposed to be looking down on me from wherever you are, being my guardian angel and stuff. I just want you to know, you're doing a really shitty job." The words didn't come out with any bitterness or spite, they were soft and tainted with tears.
"We get along Lord, but not today
Cause we gonna wash away
We gonna wash away."
The boy next to her laughed, it coming out strangled by tears of his own. She smiled weakly at him. He was about Leah's age, maybe a little older, and her had a few pink angry looking scars lining up his forearm, stopping at his neck. He had sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, and when she looked into them she only saw deep soulful oceans. There was no gravity shifting, the earth didn't start to spin on it's axis, and her world didn't abruptly start to revolve around him. But something made her move her hand towards his, and intertwine there fingers. Maybe it wasn't some cosmically driven gesture but it was…nice.
"And I got troubles oh, but not today
Cause they gonna wash away
This old heart gonna take them away…"
Maybe today wasn't going to be so bad for Leah after all.
I was thinking of having Leah imprinting at the end, but imprinting--and being immortal in general--has caused her so much heartache that I didn't feel right. Oh well, please review and listen to the song! It's great! The song is called Wash Away by Joe Purdy, you may have seen it in the commercail for the dish soap.
Reviews are love! (hint hint)