Title: Blame
Fandom: NCIS
Author: Alidiabin
Words: 1,142
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Set during second half of S3.
Parings: none
Summary: Ziva blames herself for Ari especially when she meets Gerald Jackson.

Blame

Ziva parked her mini cooper up in front of Ducky's grand house. She grabbed the two books she had borrowed from the Mallard Library which unlike the public library did not charge late fees which would have been a problem as it took her six weeks to read 'War and Peace' and 'Emma' which was mostly to do with team Gibbs huge caseload. She looked up at the spring sun and discarded her scarf. Ziva grabbed the bread she had made, which Ducky's mother Victoria seemed to adore.

Ziva hoped that Victoria Mallard was asleep however as the old and confused woman liked to call Ziva 'Anna'. Ziva had wondered at first if this was in reference to Anne Frank as Ziva proudly displayed her golden Star of David. Ducky had quietly explained to Ziva that his mother and Aunt Gloria had a Jewish friend in the late 1930's named Anna who was living with her Uncle near where Victoria and Gloria were living. Victoria and Anna had apparently been quite close. The summer before 1939 when World War 2 was declared twenty-year old Anna had gone off to Poland with her new husband. Victoria had not heard from Anna again and had gone off to marry herself and have Ducky and his brother William who had later perished with his own family in the Lockerby disaster. Ducky had ended up passing through the camps during his extensive travels in Europe. He had found Anna's name she had died at Auschwitz along with her husband, his extended family, and daughter Victoria. Ducky had given his mother closure by explaining what he had found to her. Victoria had started showing her dementia symptoms not long afterwards.

Ziva knocked on the door of Mallard Manor. The door opened seemingly by itself. In fact, it had simply been unlocked. Ziva mused the Ducky had known Gibbs to long. Ziva stepped into the hallway of Ducky's house her hand on the gun hidden at her hip just in case.
"Ducky" she called. She noticed Victoria Mallard asleep on her seat. Mumbling hopefully in dreams rather nightmares. Ziva noticed Victoria's blanket had fallen off her. Ziva bent to pick it up. She draped the blanket across Victoria and the murmuring stopped.
"Ah my dear" Ducky stage whispered from the other side of the room. Ziva turned and held up the two books she had left on the table while attending to Victoria. Ducky nodded. Ziva drifted toward him.
"Would you mind if I borrowed some more" Ziva asked sheepishly.
"Doctor who is it?" she heard a male voice call. Ziva had seen a second car on Ducky's driveway, she had believed it to be either Victoria's nurse or one of the many female acquaintances Ducky appeared to have despite his advanced age. Alas it was neither, the African –American man who was perhaps thirty stood in the doorway. Ziva admired his good looks. She looked up at his face. She recognized it. Gerald Jackson. Ziva had never met the man but she thoroughly knew his name and history. During the winter, after she had killed Ari she had familiarized herself with his sins. One of which was crippling Gerald Jackson by shooting his shoulder. Ziva took a deep breath.
"You have company Ducky," Ziva uttered. "I will come back later," she said racing to the door.
"But my dear" Ducky uttered as she rushed out his words were unable to stop her so he did not even finish his sentence. He looked up at Gerald. "That was Ziva David" as Ducky uttered the sentence everything clicked. He understood why Ziva had run off.

Ziva sat on the bridge at the creak at the end of Ducky's street. It had been a while since Ziva had been faced with her brothers' actions. Abby had ceased to go on about how Ari had killed Caitlin Todd. Memories of Kate as she was known were always happy.

Ziva opened her brown side bag and retrieved her caramel colored wallet. She opened the plastic photo wallet. On the front side was her drivers' license and on the underside was the sole photo of Eli David's three children. Tali was three, Ziva was eight, and Ari was fourteen. They innocently smiled not knowing what fate guided by their fathers hand had in store for them. She pushed down on the crease between her and Ari from when she had folded Ari behind the photo not wanting to be confronted with Ari's face every time she opened her wallet.

"Damm you" Ziva said touching Ari's face "Look at what you left me to deal with" she heard footsteps behind her she wondered if she end up being stared at by a middle aged woman with a dog or lovesick teenagers. She turned to face Gerald Jackson.

"Ducky told me you knew Ari Hazwari" Gerald said as he sat down next to Ziva. Ziva turned to face him.
"Yes" Ziva uttered.
"Since you were kids it seems," Gerald said pointing to Ziva's photograph. Ziva shut her wallet.
"Yes" Ziva said again "Perhaps if I had kept a better eye on him none of this"
"Don't" Gerald interrupted. "His actions were not your fault and I don't blame you at all for what happened. He made his own choices" Gerald paused "Until Ducky told me I wasn't even aware you were anything but NCIS' latest agent"
"I am actually a mossad liaison officer" Ziva said looking down at the polluted creek.
"And I'm training to be a physical therapist" Gerald said also looking at the creek. "I hope to work with veterans coming back from Iraq or Afghanistan"
"They definitely need people like that" Ziva replied.
"I'd have never of thought about becoming one if I hadn't ended up in rehab," Gerald said. "It's funny how things turn out"
"I would have never met the team" Ziva uttered. "I would have never known all those great people"
"I'd have never met my girlfriend," Gerald said. "Her names Ava she's a nurse"
"Oh" Ziva said. Gerald pulled out his own wallet and showed Ziva a photograph of him and young African-American woman whom he was kissing. Ziva smiled and felt stupid for blaming herself.

"We better get going" Gerald said "Ducky's made tea" Gerald despite his injured shoulder got up quicker than Ziva and being a gentlemen offered his hand out to Ziva. Ziva refused it and got up by herself. They began to walk towards Ducky's house.
"May I ask how you found me?" Ziva asked. Gerald laughed.
"I asked the neighbor if they'd seen a brunette woman in a red mini- cooper" Gerald laughed "Apparently your driving is very memorable" Ziva smiled. They walked back to Ducky's house. Laughing and smiling as Gerald told Ziva about something Tony had done at a crime scene.

A/N: Opinions please,