WARNING: This story will be several one shots put together as a story. It doesn't really have a good plot really and it's more like several one shots just for laughs. I'm going to put it as complete and then update if I get more ideas for this. ALSO this one shot has hints of IchigoxByakuya and IchigoxToshiro. Hopefully you'll all still enjoy this.
Disclaimer; I don't own Bleach or any character/place within either the manga or the anime or, well, pretty much anything. But I'd like to think that this plot was entirely my idea.
It's after the war. Aizen has been defeated along with Tousen, and Gin had been proven a spy for them and has been reinstated as a Captain. But they were lacking a few Captains still and appointed Renji and Ichigo for the two open positions. Now everyone knows this means chaos, so why don't we go see how a normal Captains' meeting goes shall we?
We're starting a bit after the beginning of the meeting, the Captain-Commander is currently talking about how well things have gone since Aizen Sousuke, the former Captain of the Fifth Squad had been defeated.
Kuchiki Byakuya, the Captain of the Sixth Squad's eyes narrowed, "As if, you've only been a Captain for a month Kurosaki. You do not know everyone well enough." He usually didn't argue with another Captain, but he felt that Ichigo didn't really count.
Kurosaki Ichigo, Captain of the Fifth Squad smirked at Byakuya. "Oh, but I know I can." After all, he'd been the one organizing the prank wars. Not that he'd admit to it.
"No, you can not." Yes, he knew it was childish. But he refused to give in to the annoying orange haired brat.
"Umm, YES I can." Ichigo growled quietly trying not to attract the attention of the other Captains. It wouldn't do to make them suspicious of him again, after all.
Byakuya scowled. "No." The only reason he wasn't shouting, was because he didn't want the other Captains to see him like this. He had his dignity.
Ichigo frowned. "Yes I can, damn it. You're just scared I'll know a way for you to show emotions around other people." He hissed quietly.
"Then prove it, boy!" Byakuya snapped, attracting everyone's attention. And proving exactly what Ichigo said were true.
Hitsugaya Toshiro, Captain of the Tenth Squad frowned at the two, "Just what are you two doing?" Now normally he'd never be frowning like that at the head of the Kuchiki clan, but these days one couldn't be sure of who Ichigo had pulled into his pranks.
Ichigo smirked. And then grabbed the front of Byakuya's haori and pulled the man into a heated kiss. This had two bonus points, proving his point and at the same time he'd get a kiss from one of the most widely known bachelors out there. Including himself as far as anyone knew.
When the two parted again, Byakuya was staring blankly in front of himself and the rest of the Captains were gawking at them both. Some of them maybe even with worry, perhaps Byakuya had gone into shock and wouldn't be able to take care of his Squad anymore and who would then do it? No one wanted to be Ichigo's neighbor after all. They all knew what had happened to the Seventh Squad after they refused his tea...
"What the..." Toshiro began unable to get out anything more, perhaps more out of hope that Ichigo would be killed once Byakuya snapped out of his shock?
"Hell?" Abarai Renji, Captain of the Ninth Squad continued, obviously confused. After all, he'd known Ichigo was going to do something. But this took the cake.
A "HAH! I KNEW IT!" attracted everyone's attention to one Ukitake Juushiro, Captain of the Thirteenth Squad whom turned around to a pouting Ichimaru Gin, Captain of the Third Squad. It didn't really surprise anyone that he'd shouted. After all, if he had so much candy to give out he'd must have consumed a large number himself already. Who would willingly give away candy? Not Ichigo, that's for sure!
"Pay up!" Juushiro smirked evilly at the fox-faced Captain. Perhaps Aizen Sousuke was right, the Gotei 13 WAS evil. Especially the 13 part of it.
Gin pouted but brought out a bag of...something that no one seemed to understand what was. Then he frowned at Ichigo, "Couldn't you have kissed Shiro-chan first?" Obviously Gin had been hoping cuteness would win over hotness. Which might have happened if Ichigo had done this because he was in love.
Ichigo's eyes widened in shock, "W-w-whaaaat!" Mirrored at the exact same time by the very Captain of the 10th Squad whom then frowned and said, "That's Captain Hitsugaya to you!"
And this is where Ichigo would try to argue about the name. But this time he got a better idea. Or worse if you look at it from Toshiro's point of view.
Ichigo gave a smirk, before repeating his actions from his kiss with Byakuya. Only this time Toshiro was the victim.
There were squeals outside the door and it slammed open revealing several females with cameras. Matsumoto Rangiku being one of them.
So when Ichigo and Toshiro parted, she was the first to turn and run away not wanting her Captain to see her. She'd be punished with paperwork!
The door slamming shut after the rest of the Shinigami Womans Association or whatever it was they were going to call it next, pulled Byakuya out of his shock and had Toshiro stuttering at the same time.
"And just what was that, Kurosaki?" Byakuya snapped while Toshiro stuttered out something that was remarkably alike but no one seemed to get if that was what he'd said.
"Me proving my point." Ichigo smirked. "Told you I knew how to shock everyone in the room!" He sing-songed at the Kuchiki male before turning to Toshiro and giving a wink, "Want to join me in my room tonight, Shiro-chan?"
Toshiro flushed darkly and fainted. Yes, that's right, he fainted. Perhaps it had to do with all the blood flying into his head, or maybe he actually really liked Ichigo and wanted it? We might never know...
There was a sigh in the silence which had everyone turn to the Captain-Commander who seems to have been forgotten for the entire meeting.
The old man eyed his Captains, before sighing again and thinking to himself, "I need a drink." Or so he thought. Peering at the shocked faces of most of his Captains and the amused one of Captain Ukitake and Captain Kurosaki, he realized he must have said it out loud.
There was only one thing he could do to save himself and at the same time rid himself of these annoying children; "Meeting adjourned. Everyone get the hell out of here."
Everyone except two, left by shunpo. He groaned inwardly, "Did you need something, Captain Kurosaki?" He hoped the man didn't, he just wanted to go to bed without any major problems tonight. At worst, he hoped only one building would blow up.
Ichigo gave a smirk and pulled out a sake bottle from his haori, "You'll need this tonight." Which meant that there would be no peace tonight unless he pretended to have gone deaf, blind or died. Or unless he got drunk.
He gave a small nod, he'd accept the sake and get drunk both for himself and for the mayhem the man would cause and would pretend not to know anything in the morning. It was a deal he often had to strike with the Captain, and one that had started the time Captain Kurosaki had to go to the Vice-Captains meeting as his own had disappeared (in other words, run away and left him to deal with their idiocy.).
Ichigo gave a last smirk before skipping over to the unconcious body of the Tenth Captain, picked him up and skipped out the door.