My name is Kovu Hunt, I'm 25 years old, I've just been accepted into a prestigious civil law job on Coruscant...and my life is over. Well...I can't exactly say that, but it's not that far fetched to assume that is. I'm in a transport, rather a cage inside a transport, but why get into any specifics at this moment? I'm on my way to the Chateau D'if, I don't know what the hell that is but I'm assuming it's some kind of prison.
You see, the Republic sees me as a threat to society all because I signed a piece of paper. That's right, a piece of paper put me away for life. I never committed a crime in my life, I've said that over and over again but they keep saying "That's what they all say". Well, I don't give a fuck if they all say it, I'm saying it now and I'll be damned if it isn't the truth. In retrospect I shouldn't even bother saying it, they weren't too interested in hearing what I had to say anyways.
I don't even know what the hell I'm charged with. One night as I was having sex with my wife Rose, I heard a doorbell ring. I didn't answer it. Come on, when you're having sex with you're wife there's no way in hell you're gonna say, "Sorry honey, I can't pleasure you right now the doorbell is ringing". Anyways, they blast through my door and tell me to put my hands up. God, there must've been at least 20 of them. They're all screaming at me, it's amazing how you lose the ability to speak when you got over a dozen rifles pointed straight at you. They inject something into my wife's head, she falls asleep and then they do the same thing to me.
I wake up in a dark room, I'm chained to a desk and I'm wearing these black clothes. This man is there, he shows my signature on this piece of paper. I'm still dazed from whatever it is they drugged me with and the voices around me all sound slurred and incoherent. Another man comes into the room, he stamps the sheet and all I see is guilty in big, bold capital letters. I guess that must've shocked my senses back into good working order because at that moment I heard everything perfectly.
"Kovu Hunt, you've been charged with crimes against the Republic. You are deemed a threat to society and will no longer be under the protection the democratic system of justice provided by the Republic. You are no longer a citizen of the Republic, to the state you are an animal and anybody who harms you has that right. As punishment for your crime you will be placed in the Chateau D'if. As soon as you are there, you are no longer within our jurisdiction. Should you manage to leave for whatever reason, you will not have the rank of a human being in this Republic. May the Force have mercy on your soul."
"WHAT DID I DO? I'M INNOCENT! YOU CAN'T DO THI-" after that I fallen asleep. Damn drugs. Why wouldn't they tell me what I did? What am I being punished for? What the hell is the Chateau D'if? Why the hell is nobody answering any of my questions?
What kind of Republic is this? They come to my house in the night, they kidnap me and then tell me I'm arrested and an enemy of the state? That's not a democracy, that's a dictatorship! They don't teach you this kind of shit in school. Where was my trial? Where the hell is my court-appointed lawyer? I am a lawyer damnit! Where is my justice!?
Ok...I gotta calm down, I'm going insane and I'm not even in the fucking prison yet. Maybe it's not even as bad as I thought. What the fuck am I saying? It's a prison, of course it's as bad as I think it is! Hell, even the cage I'm sitting is fucking hell. It's as big as a closet, I can't go two steps without running into a wall.
Panic begins to overtake me, my stomach begins to hurt, my head begins to throb and this cold sweat streaks down my face. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. I have to know what's gonna happen to me. WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN TO ME!?
A guard comes over to me, a Twi'lek prolly here to taunt me in my misery. "By the Force son, you're about as pale as a ghost. Save some of that for the Chateau, you'll need it". I was right, here to taunt me in my misery. Guess his mother never taught him that it isn't very honourable to kick a man when he's down. Nevertheless, as much as he is an asshole, he could tell me where the hell I'm going.
"Sir, please have mercy on me. What is the Chateau?" I sound like a fucking beggar what the hell is wrong with me?
He laughs, "Have mercy? You won't last a day in there son, mercy would be killing you now."
"Just tell me"
"What? No please this time?"
The guard looks at me as if daring me to say something disrespectful. Every bit of me wants to, but I can't. Come to think of it, I'm not that kind of person. I got this far in life by sucking up to authority. My dad was a businessman...if you can call him that. He spent his days following the boss around and complimenting his every decision. Now that I think about it, he was a brown-noser, a suck-up, a teacher's pet. My God, I've become my father! A spineless coward who just takes what he's given and just says, "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
I stare at the guard determined to stand up to this guy and prove to him and myself that I was actually a man. I don't know what, I'm gonna say, I don't know how I'm gonna say it but by God I'm gonna say something even if it kills me. Knowing that I'm not even a real person in the Republic anymore, it just might.
"Hey!" I shout, determined to finally prove my manhood.
He turns around and smirks, "Want something else sugar?"
He's taunting me! This motherfucker is taunting me! Do I want something? I want a fucking knife to gut this motherfucker down, that's what I fucking want! OK, that's great, I got what I'm gonna say. Now why the hell aren't I saying it. Come on Kovu! Spit it the fuck out!
"I-I-I"
He laughs
"Let me guess, you're one of those pussies that everybody just walks all over in life. One of those little pencil pushers that succeeds just because his mouth is always on the teachers ass. Now, you've fucked up and you don't know what the hell to do so you're trying to get some answers from your superior as you always do. This time though, you're superior doesn't give a shit how much you know, how much you can suck up, or how many fucking lattes you're willing to run out and get. So you're getting mad, you know you're a fucking pussy and you want to do something about it. You're thinking back and you're regretting all your suck ups in that past and you now that you're nothing but a big pussy so you're trying to grow a dick. So you're trying to push the words out as hard as you can but you can't do it because it's a simple matter of street biology. You see, there are two kinds of people: pussies and dicks. At first we're neither, but sometime in our lives we have to choose, are we the pussy who gets fucked by every able-bodied dick in society or are we the dick that goes after we want and commands the situation? Guess which one you are sweet-cheeks?"
Oh my God, this idiot is a fucking genius. This guy read me perfectly. I'm honestly speechless, I don't have any comment on this situation so I do the only thing that I know how to do in a time of failure or humiliation: hang my head in shame
"Don't feel bad sugar, where you're going they're either gonna make you into a dick or they're gonna die trying."
A bell rings.
"Well, ain't that a coinky-dink. We're here! Welcome to hell sugar, we've been expecting you"
There's only one more thing left to say.
"Wait! Who are you?"
"Gabriel Cirillo, first warden of Chateau D'if"