Ciel's Nightmare.
'The question of sexual dominance can exist only in the nightmare of that soul
which has armed itself totally, against the possibility of the changing motion of conquest and surrender, which is love.'
- James A. Baldwin.
The black and white checkered bridge between the dawn and dusk seemed to span on endlessly, yet was only three short metres long. Along that narrow bridge, day fell to night and twisted together seamlessly. The two sides were separated only by two invisible barriers. There was one that lay on the right, where the sun speared up through the sky and one on the left which kept caged the moon and creatures of the dark. The illogical world that would not, could not bow to the sun that strained against the barrier and longed to touch and stroke those frozen moonbeams on the left. And so the sky was split between these disturbing transitions eternally, moving from passionate red to black and blue.
A young, impish boy stared across the bridge. He was bathed in sunlight and though his sex was apparent, he held all the feminine charms of a woman – delicate body, long eyelashes, and exposed legs that perverse, predatory fingers longed to crawl up.
A tall, dark figure stood proud and naked and eyed the hot desire that lay on the other side.
"Come, my darling.
Pretty, young darling.
Pure fun, my sweet,
waits for you,
inside our cooing, carnal bed."
The rose-cheeked boy's eyes were glazed and his body aching. Unthinkingly, unknowingly, he pulled the buttons from his blouse and stepped, hungry, through the barrier and onto the bridge. Though he did not know it, his fate was sealed in that moment and the nets of fate had him tightly bound. His chest was now exposed for the devil on the other side to see. The eyes were vibrant and blue, beautiful, but somehow inhumanely feral. As for his lips, they were pink and wet - parted- his soft, warm tongue tracing over them. The deathly, deformed and suddenly leather-clad hand drew him nearer still, enchanting him and making him his.
"Pretty darling – come."
No more in the light,
Or bright world will scold
and render hot passions cold
as death.
Come – instead, into my hands
and prey, love, come undone."
His voice was pitched, then deep. A boast and a whimper. That man across the bridge seemed an impossibility. Such a thing could never exist in the light. The devil grinned and tossed his black hair. He continued to work his black magic and made himself a cat. He prowled and purred and eyed the small chick – his willing victim – with a grin wide and white.
The doll-like boy took another step forward and soon found his shorts around his ankles, though they too were gone in the next step. He was only a metre from the creature. He had his socks now, his thin undergarments and the bow around his neck like a collar. Nothing more.
A blue-tit flitted overhead in the sky that whispered twilight, singing and chirping merrily in its flight. A single raven burst out from the night and cawed loudly. The tiny bird's wings simply could not carry it away in time, and soon the raven had it. It tore it down from the sky and in front of the child, the raven pinned its squirming form to the checked ground. Lowering its large beak, it dug them into the soft eyes of the helpless bird and ripped them both out. Soon, an entire unkindness came swarming from the darkness and ravaged it, ripping away the feathers and flesh in a messy, noisy flurry.
The boy's jaw tightened and he backed away from the savage scene, his eyes widening as he looked up at the devil who had once again taken on a human form and was sitting on the edge of the darkened bridge. He continued to beckon him, his blood-red eyes flashing, but the boy had his senses now. The light on his back warmed his skin and called to him. Turning his back, he moved to run back to the world he had lost, but the very stones crumbled away beneath his feet.
"Silly boy," Mocked the demon. "You of all should know that once something is truly lost, you can neverget it back."
Frightened, though not willing to admit it, the boy gaged the distance. Two metres, perhaps? No use, no use, he couldn't jump it with legs so short and weak. A frustration blazed within him as he turned back towards the darkness. The birds had vanished. On this side too, the bridge was collapsing, but at least he had a chance. The demon simply watched from the safety behind the barrier. Without another thought, the child leapt and fell. Those delicate fingers barely managed to grip the edge of the rocky, craggy surface that was left where the bridge had been. With wide eyes, he looked up at the man that towered over him.
The earth beneath them opened up into a pit. Laughter erupted from it like lava. The proud Earl, in this vulnerable and pathetic state. He looked down and saw business associates, competitors, family, and even Lady Elizabeth far below. They were all screaming with laughter.
"Exposing yourself like this is most unbefitting of a Phantomhive," Tanaka shouted from below. His ever-strict and wise butler. "The Master would never have behaved in such a way." Ciel's cheeks burned and his teeth gritted as he tried not to cry out in pain. His fingers bled from the craggy surface. The laughter rose and rose until it felt it would break his body apart. Then silence. A hum, nothing but a hum. Ciel chanced another glance down as his body hung over the edge. Them. The brand on his back began to bleed as if it were a fresh wound.
"Now, now, Young Master." Sebastian crouched down to watch him in his desperate terror. He grinned. "What will become of you if you fall into their hands?" He asked. The fingers began to slip.
"SAVE ME, SEBASTIAN!" Ciel shouted, looking furiously at him.
"Are you sure that you want me to?" He asked, taking sadistic pleasure in this little show.
"SEBASTIAN!"
"I'm afraid you'll have to beg, young master. Like a dog. Call out my name, Young Master. And then I'll come. Come to your rescue. Beg me." His red eyes flashed with satisfaction.
"Please, Sebastian! SEBASTIAN!" The name was shrieked and laced the pain. He could not take the humiliation if he fell into their arms. "SEBASTIAN, I ORDER YOU! SAVE ME, NOW!"
The hand shot down and grabbed his wrist, pulling him up effortlessly beyond the barrier. Ciel's skin ripped off as he was pulled through. It melted and burned. His very skeleton shattered and reformed. His eyes too, glowed red. Unrecognisable as a human being, he dropped to Sebastian's feet as nothing more and a grotesquely distorted, living corpse. The world was in darkness, and the hum of the chanting was gone – but the pain in his body was unimaginable, as if electric currents were being shot through his brain and his lungs were being burned. Sebastian's mouth sealed over what he supposed was his own. Agony.
Black.
White.
Checkered… The bridge?
a
g
o
n
y
… … ...
Ciel sat bolt upright in his bed. His room was dark and peaceful. There was a cold sweat running down his back. The seal in his eye was aching and that demon, that predator –
"Young Master?" Sebastian leaned close to him to examine him.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Ciel shouted, clambering quickly out of bed and pressing himself against the wall, shaking. He turned the word 'loyal' over and over in his head as he stared at Sebastian, his heart pounding powerfully in his chest.
"A nightmare, Young Master?" Sebastian asked with mock sympathy. Ciel glared at him.
'One I cannot wake up from.' The tormented look in his eyes betrayed the thought. "Do you find me pathetic?" Ciel challenged, looking at him evenly now.
"Of course not, Young Master. Shall I fetch you some tea?"
"Just get out."
The door clicked closed behind him. Outside, just beyond the window, Ciel could see a small bird with patches of blue plumage. He watched it as it flitted through the sky, chirping its song and having its way with the world. It was up much too early – or perhaps much too late. And in the distance, though very faintly, Ciel was sure that he heard -quite sure indeed- the cawing of a large black raven.
To nothing, to no-one, the Earl whispered again.
"Get out, Sebastian. Get out."