Dipper immediately put out the fire on his hat. Time Travel hadn't been kind to his hat over the years. The last time-jump back to his seventh birthday party had burned a quarter-sized hole in the back and almost melted the plastic adjustment band. He almost considered not bringing it with him this time, but he felt so naked without it.
Gravity Falls looked the same as it did four years ago. It was that crazy amazing summer where everything they knew about everything changed. Dipper picked up a flier that had found it's way to his feet. Party at the Mystery Shack. It looked relatively new, but he couldn't see any decorations. It must have been after the Cloning Incident. The car wasn't here so that meant nobody was home. He pulled out the President's Key which hung from around his neck and walked into the closed Mystery Shack.
One glance at the calendar told him what he needed to know. Pioneer's Day. So that meant he'd have at least five or six hours before his younger self came back. He began searching for exact information on that day using his handheld computer that he swiped from the future. It would take a minute to get his exact location in time and space.
Of course, some small things would be different than when he was a kid. The only way to evade the Time Baby's ever present gaze was to only time-travel in parallel universes as opposed to your own. The trick to it though was finding a parallel universe so similar to yours that it might as well have been yours to begin with. The computer beeped at him. Apparently the split occurred after the video game fiasco, but before the shrinking incident. This would be perfect.
He began searching his future computer to find social network information from today. Robbie always posted too many status updates for his own good. Two hours ago he made a comment about how lame Pioneer Day was...one hour ago he posted about how bored he was...and...it looked like two hours from now he'd post about hanging around outside the Mystery Shack waiting for Wendy, but she never showed up. He probably didn't realize that she was at the Pioneer's Day celebration. He was never very good at paying attention.
Dipper pulled back the tape on the Time Machine and let it go. An hour and fifty five minutes into the future, after a blinding flash and a singed hat, he'd arrived. He looked out the window.
There he was. Standing forlornly out in the entrance plucking on his guitar.
"Hey you," said Dipper.
Robbie turned around with wide eyes, he'd clearly not been expecting to see anybody. "Uh...hey."
"You wanna come inside to wait for Wendy?"
Robbie looked more worried than confused and he probably didn't know why. "Who are you exactly?"
"Oh, I'm Tyrone, Dipper and Mabel's older brother. You're Robbie right?"
Robbie didn't let his guard down, "...yeah..."
"Wendy told me to tell you that she was going to be a little late, but she wanted you to wait for her here." Dipper looked Robbie over. He remembered Robbie's tight pants now. He was getting excited. It shaped him very well.
Robbie walked in and seemed a little more at ease. He strummed a few chords absentmindedly as he sat down on the couch.
"So, Robbie," Dipper suddenly noticed that Robbie's hoodie was zipped pretty low...low enough for him to tell he wasn't wearing a shirt underneath, "...you...uh, you got any songs you can play for me off the top of your head?"
"Tch, I guess," he set the guitar down beside him, laid out on the couch and pulled the hood of his hoodie over his eyes. "But, heh, I don't feel like it."
Dipper liked it when he did this. Acting like a big tough guy when he was just a softie underneath. It's one of the things that attracted him to the Robbie from his own universe.
"Well, what do you feel like doing?" Dipper sat on the arm rest of the couch. He kicked off his shoes.
"Uh, waiting for Wendy?" said Robbie in his most derisive tone. Dipper knew he had to act fast; there was no way to ease Robbie into this. He practically jumped on top of him, making Robbie jump. "What the...what are you doing?! Get off me, man!" Dipper laid his elbow across Robbie's collar bone, effectively pinning him down.
Dipper smiled, "Oh, sorry about that...I just slipped," he slowly pulled down the zipper of Robbie's hoodie revealing his pale chest, dotted with sporadic black chest hairs. He moved his hand under the hoodie now and and rubbed his tight pecs. "Oh, look at that, your hoodie just opened by itself."
Robbie looked panicked, he struggled to get up, but Dipper held him down. "What do you want from me?"
Dipper teased his nipple, "Oh, I think you can guess something that I want..."
"Get...off!" Robbie pushed, but as his nipple began to harden his struggling lessened.
"Come on, Robbie. We both know the kind of things you're into when nobody else is around," Dipper slowly slid his hand south.
"What? How did you...you don't...you don't know that! You don't know anything about me!" Robbie seemed less concerned about Dipper's hand and more concerned about what he knew.
"That Emo-Teen Magazine under your mattress, what was it called again? The Grayscale Shirtless Bad Boys of Alternative Rock swimsuit edition?" Dipper slipped his hand under his waistband, hand downward but quickly brought it to the side of his hip and up the small of Robbie's back. Dipper knew Robbie could have thrown him off at this point if he wanted to, but he gave the weakest of struggles.
"I...that issue has r-really good chord chart..." Robbie's mouth parted slightly.
"And what about that time you kissed Nate at that party?" Dipper positioned his knees to just above Robbie's hips but he stayed hunched over.
"We were...I was drunk!"
"It was non-alcoholic beer, Robbie. Did you really think that Thompson had the guts to get a keg of actual beer?" Dipper slowly began to sit up but held him down with his one arm against his shoulder. Robbie arched his back weakly in a vain attempt to struggle against the inevitable.
"How do you know all this?"
Dipper removed his hand from Robbie's chest. If he truly didn't want this, Robbie gave no sign. He could have squirmed out. He could have shoved Dipper over. But he didn't. "Let's just say," began Dipper as he took off his shirt. In another time, another place "I know you better than anybody else..." said Dipper.
Robbie pulled his arms in against his exposed chest. The cuffs of his sweater were pulled up almost covering his hands. "So...so what happens now?"
Dipper stroked his own chest with one hand and rested his other arm on the top of the couch. "It's up to you, dude. But just think about this...I'm the only person in Gravity Falls who knows what you really are...I'm the only person in this town like you..."
They were like that for a while. Robbie didn't seem to know what to think. Dipper was about to climb off of him when Robbie smiled weakly; he smiled back. He reached out for Dipper's hand and gently pulled him downward. Their lips met in a wet and frenzied embrace.
Several hour later, a shirtless Dipper rested against the wall and a shirtless Robbie rested against him; they were sitting on the floor and Robbie was finishing a song on his guitar.
"That was pretty good," Dipper pecked Robbie on the neck.
"Yeah, that was a little something I call 'Gray Shadows.' It'll probably be the first song on the album." Robbie turned his head and kissed Dipper on the shoulder.
This was what it was like in his own universe. It was something Dipper missed sorely. These quiet moments never happened anymore. It was always Robbie blowing things out of proportion and blaming other people for his own issues. He knew this little trip was only temporary. It didn't mean anything, really. He just wanted to feel that feeling again. That feeling that the Robbie he knew was really there next to him. Dipper lightly stroked Robbie's chest hair.
Robbie giggled through his nose, "heh, that tickles..."
"DIPPER PINES..." Uh oh, it was happening... "OF UNIVERSE 741!" A swirling green vortex opened up before him. "YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH THE THEFT OF A TIME-DEVICE THE DESCRATION OF MULTIPLE TIMELINES ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE AND OTHER INFRACTIONS TOO NUMEROUS TO COUNT!"
"You'll never take me alive, Time-Baby!" Dipper jumped up, knocking Robbie forward. He put his shirt and hat back on and began configuring his time machine.
The Time-Baby's head suddenly appeared in place of the vortex, a glowing red hourglass illuminated the room. "THERE IS NOWHERE YOU CAN HIDE THAT I CANNOT FIND YOU, DIPPER PINES! NOT IN THE NEGATIVE SUNS OF ANTARES OR THE SILENT PATHWAYS OF UNDERSPACE!" Dipper looked down at Robbie who was too shocked to react properly yet. He gave him a sad look. "COME WITH ME, DIPPER PINES, OR I'LL SEE YOU IN A PUNISHMENT SPHERE FOR THE NEXT SNEVENTY YEARS!" continued the Time-Baby.
Dipper looked back at the Time-Baby in defiance. "The only place you'll see me...is in HELL!" He let go of the tape and disappeared.
"NOOOO!" The Time-Baby shouted in rage and disappeared with the force of a Thunderbolt.
Robbie laid on the floor with his mouth still open.
"So then I said, 'Wow, Gideon, you look even more like a girl than usual' and then he sa-" Stanford Pines opened the door and jumped back a little at the sight of a shirtless Robbie catatonic on the floor. "Aagh!"
Robbie finally let out a scream. "AAAAGH!"
Mabel, Stan, and a younger Dipper stood in the doorway and screamed in unison, "AAAAAAGH!"
He jumped up, his guitar slung around his neck and ran past them shoving them aside, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
In a place outside of time, a place outside of space, Dipper Pines pulled a little notebook from his pants' pocket. He made a check-mark on a page with a little picture of Robbie taped to it and began counting. "Looks like that makes...a baker's dozen!" He put the notebook away and traveled onward to the next universe.
THE END