Yes, sorry I've been gone for so long! I've had writer'sblock for a while, when all of a sudden I have THREE story ideas. This is one of them.
The story will be fairly depressing, mostly flashbacks on a previous relationship. NORWAY'S POV! The lyrics are from the Anne Manda version of River Flows In You, by Yiruma.
Italicized words are the lyrics of the song, grouped with their matching drabble.
Link to video (YouTube)
/watch?v=mSwXOb7Z1FE
Tears flowing down my cheek
Tearing me up as I think
Of what could have been
(Flashbacks) It was a warm evening, breeze steadily drifting past, cooling into the night. We walked along the small, busy streets of the city, side by side, past others. Earlier that day had been when he asked me out. Girls squealed, boys made disgusted faces, others did not seem to care. Me, however, felt as if I could float on air, as the one person I had the biggest crush on had liked me back.
We slowly made our way to our desired destination. A small, desolate ice cream shop sat in the corner of a row filled with buildings. It seemed bland and boring to the outside world, but we had chosen it simply for the warm, welcoming atmosphere inside. A little bell rung at our entrance, and the few heads inside glanced up before resuming their own business. We strolled in and looked at the rows of ice cream. So many flavors stood out to me, but I went with a simple mint flavor. Mathias, however, was not one to be 'simple'. He picked the most complicated, ridiculous sounding flavor they had to offer, 'Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey'. I thought it sounded silly, but he insisted, so I let him.
We sat down at our table and began to eat. That is, I began to eat. He thought it would be fun to take his spoon and use it as a catapult of sorts. It was quickly filled with ice cream and flung at me, hitting he square on the forehead. I wouldn't let him get away with that so easily. Thank goodness we were the only ones there, as the situation became an all-out ice cream war. Naturally, I won, but surprisingly only just. I looked and saw it dripped down off the spikes in his hair fall onto his clothes and ruining them. He shrugged it off and laughed about it the whole way home, I carrying a rare smile myself.
My Ben and Jerry's melting
Falling apart like me
Dripping down insinuating
I couldn't believe it. That he did it again. The idiot, after 4 months of dating, had still managed to go out and get himself hopelessly drunk. It was simply not fair that I would have to take responsibility for him over and over again when he shouldn't do this in the first place. When we got home I slammed the door shut and turned on my heel to face him. He swayed in his place, as if struggling to stand at all. He grinned sheepishly, knowing in the back of his mind that he was going to get it yet another time.
I started yelling at him, criticizing how he did this all the time, and how much of a pain it was for me. Little did I know what was to come next. He got this look in his eye, as if all the light had left it cold and cruel. He took a step forward, I reflexively taking a step back. He yelled at me then, more harshly than I had previously, about how it wasn't his goddamn fault, and how I should be happy he even stays with me. I kept strong through the fight, about twenty minutes or so, before he stormed down the hallway to his room. I took my car, which I had just gotten that very year as a high school graduation present, and drove back home. I rushed to my room, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall below for just a little longer, and shut the door behind me. I threw myself to my bed and cried my eyes out. Never, in my entire life, had words so harsh met my ears before, and I had begun to doubt myself.
What if things had been different
What if we'd kept it light
What if I could hold you
I wish you'd never lied
It was another two months, forgetting the argument and back onto good terms with each other. Of course, there had been petty little nothings along the way, minor disagreements that got between us for mere moments at a time which we could laugh at soon after. But that one day was the happiest of my life. We went on what seemed like one of our normal dates, nothing seemingly special or anything. That is, so I thought. Together we walked down a boardwalk of a beach. It was a perfect evening, the sun setting without a cloud in the sky, a slight, crisp chilliness in the air. When we got to the shore, we sat upon the sand, gazing wishfully out at sea. He looked at me, waiting to meet my eyes, and did the unexpected.
He turned in his spot, and quoted, said, "Lukas, you are probably the most important thing in my life. I know that we've been through a lot; arguements and rejoices, but this has to be the most important of all. This is probably very sudden for you, but, Lukas. Will you marry me?" I swear my eyes couldn't have grown wider at those words. I jumped up and flew to him, all the while frantically nodding my head 'yes', a grin on my face. His face matched mine, as we had the greatest day of our entire lives. The last thing you said that day, "Forever together we will stay."
I remember clearly you saying
You and me forever
Though I'm still praying
It was horrible. Just the thought, the memory, it scared me to the bone. We were officially married at that point, whether accepted by others or not. We were having another one of our arguments. He was complaining about making up stories about faeries and trolls actually existing, while I insisted they were real. At point, I was so pissed at him for not believing me, as he was supposed to trust me, that I dared fight back. I called him arrogant for not even giving me a chance to prove myself. That is the point at which he snaps.
"Oh yeah? ME, arrogant?! You're the freak who never shuts up about dumb myths that don't exist! If you seriously care that much, and still think they're real even though they aren't, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna leave ya on your own, and you'll go crazy with all your creepy beliefs! You'll be nothing more than a waste of space!"
I stood, stunned, as did he, only realizing now the words he spoke. He began to apologize, but I wouldn't let him, not after what he did, as I brushed roughly past him to our room. I cried with fear, anger, self hatred, and confusion, not knowing which emotion was correct. I was terrified of what he said I would become without him, the possibility of that person being me.
I wanted it to last so desperately
I lost sight of all else
And it ended so abruptly
Why did I believe him at the time? I don't know. Why I didn't press the issue further? Not too sure. All I know is that this one lie was the biggest one he had made in his life, and for the worse. Things had been going downhill from the major fight, and a bright future didn't make itself visible.
Mathias came home late that night. Normally, he would have warned me if he was going to be late from work, but lately, that had been different. He would show up off his normal schedule, later and later with each occurrence. Then he had been about two hours late, and my temper was running thin. "Where were you? You said you'd be home by 7 tonight." He simply muttered back a little 'work problem' and tried to stalk down the hall. I didn't let this happen, instead repeating what I had said. Mathias turned around and snapped back, "It's not your business, Lukas! I was only out with some friends afterwards and my phone was dead. Happy?"
He swung the door shut to the room and I sat down, dazed, regretful. If he had only gone out with friends, I shouldn't have interfered at all. I should give him more freedom instead of a short leash. It's only fair, though his story did seem rushed. That was our relationship's downfall.
What if things had been different
What if we'd kept it light
What if I could hold you
I wish you'd never lied
The worst moment of my life. When he confessed it all.
It was like any other day lately, he comes home late, and I question him. He mumbles little nothings, and I don't bother him anymore. I ask, but a look in his eye betrays the routine. Nervously, he looks into my eyes, as I feel them become darker with impatient frustration. "Uh, I need to tell you something. Very important. About me coming home late all the time." I stood puzzled, hoping it wasn't as bad as it seemed. My prayers were left unanswered. I assumed then it was drinking his mind away. I was wrong.
"I've been going out with friends, but not just to hang out. I've... Lukas, I've been gambling. The money, it... I couldn't stop... I-"
"What do you mean?" I needed to understand, for him to just get to the point.
"This house, I've used the money, our money, for my bets. It was addicting, I couldn't stop, I'm so sorry! I tried to tell you, but now it's too late. The house, we can't have it anymore, we can't afford it. We'll have to go live with friends."
That's when I lost it. The whole relationship, it hadn't been working from the moment it began, we just never brought ourselves to end it. I hoped, dreamed even, that it would somehow work out, just leaving myself to be disappointed time and time again. "IT'S OVER! You have no FUCKING idea how much stress you've caused me, and now I have to live with friends?! What friends, Mathias? My only 'friend' was you, and now you've ruined everything I worked for!" And with that, I walked out and slammed the door shut, not even bothering to get my things.
I got dealt a hand
Not in my favor
Not what I had planned
Not what I had hoped for
(End Flashbacks) Looking back at those times, it make me wonder about what could've been. Maybe the little bumps along the road were the cause, maybe the problem not addressed as soon. I sigh wistfully, resting my head back against the cool, eternally dampened wall. Busy people rushed past me, not casting a glance. I shift in my position on the sidewalk, as another gust of wind shakes my core, fiercer than the last. There's no turning back now, I can't do anything to change my new life, as a homeless, poor nobody. If only I had enough money, hope, anything, to make up for what you've done.
What if things had been different
What if we'd kept it light
What if I could hold you
I wish you'd never lied
That's it, guys. A depressing story, yes, I know. Listen to the song, it's really pretty, happier sounding than this. Reviews and favorites are very greatly appreciated! And in case you didn't know, Mathias is Denmark and Lukas is Norway.