'Senshado…' A cool female voice narrated over flickering footage of boxy, tracked vehicles. 'Throughout its long history, it has been used all over the world as a way to train girls.' The camera panned over a group of uniformed women standing at proud attention and a fly buzzed haphazardly through the heat of the school hall. 'It is a martial art which strives to nurture polite, graceful, humble and brave women.' Five girls bowed in unison to the camera, then to the tank looming behind them before eagerly running to it and swarming into the hatches. 'Learning Senshado will give an edge to your femininity.' The white gloved commander shouted an advance order and with a great roaring screech the tank began to move forward 'You'll become as hot and hard as steel,' A girl at the front, her colour emblazoned with the yellow patch of the student council absent-mindedly scratched her nose 'As robust and lovely as caterpillar tracks,' A girl's chest buzzed and lit up. Her expression remained absolutely neutral as she extracted her phone with all the grace of a monkey with its fist caught. 'And as passionate and accurate as a cannon!' With a great BOOM the tank's main gun fired, rudely awakening those who'd taken the opportunity for a nap. 'If you learn Senshado, you will without doubt become a great wife, a great mother and a great career woman!' A platoon of tanks swept by a cheering crowd, 'You will be a healthy, kind and dependable woman who will appeal to many men!' Tank crew waved from hatches at the crowd which seemed to be made up exclusively of enthusiastic male models. 'Now let's all learn Senshado, and become sound and beautiful women in both mind and body!' The view changed to a white screen, the slogan 'Step up, maidens!' emblazoned proudly across it. A pair of girls from the student council stepped onto the stage and fiddle with the microphone stand for a moment.

'Hi all!' said the nervous-looking, short-haired brunette. 'We're the Student Council representatives for Senshado. I'm Yoko Takahashi.'

'And I'm Mari Yamamoto.' Her companion had red-highlighted blonde hair and the expression of someone who'd got this job by drawing a short straw. 'We'll be at the door with the signing-up sheet as you leave,' Yoko waved a clipboard hopefully. 'So please do sign up. We'd like as many as possible. We'll also be on hand to answer any questions you have.'

The pair turned to go. The council president rolled her eyes, turned, and glared at them until Yoko clicked her fingers as she remembered something and ran back to the microphone 'Oh yes, practices will be on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday evenings, immediately after lessons, although this might change later.' She ran off the stage, blushing and mouthing sorry at the president. After some commotion at the projector, the screen lit up once more. 'Flower arranging: The delicate art…'

'Hey, Hiromi!' The whisper was accompanied by a sharp prod to the back. Hiromi spun to look at Ayaka, a lanky, curly-haired girl with a friendly heart-shaped face. 'Senshado looks awesome!'

Hiromi considered this for a moment. On the one hand, the film was clearly pure propaganda. And why had the school suddenly started it? The student council reps seemed far from ecstatic. On the other hand, that tank did look wonderfully…

'Let's sign up!' Natsumi had carefully plaited black hair and eyes alight with the thought of heavy armour. 'Come on Hiromi, it'll be fun!'

The film panned luxuriantly around a vase of flowers, tinkly music wafting from the speakers. This was interrupted by the president as she leapt onto the stage. 'Right, we're overtime. Flower arranging is taken by Madori Ochi and a couple of others, they're at the door, it's on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, everyone get out.'

With a great avalanche of talking the room leapt to its feet, rushed to the door and almost at once arranged itself into a perfect traffic jam. Red-collared Discipline Committee members shouted and tried to shove people into some sort of logical order, adding considerably to the commotion. Hiromi was swept along by the great mass and had to fight to keep with her friends. She heard snatches of conversation from all sides

'Really, I'm getting dreadfully bored of ballroom dancing these days…'

'Do you think we could rearrange game night?'

'I'm just saying, if a vampire ever…'

Student council members with clipboards and shell-shocked expressions stood at the door, their lapels resplendent with club patches. Hiromi saw Yoko frantically taking down names while trying to stop her clipboard being knocked out of her hands by the mass of people around her.

'Oh, well Daddy's got a couple which he's been using as tractors, on the estate you know. I'm sure he'd be willing to lend them to you. I'll call him tonight.' Speaking to Yoko was a tall, elegant-looking girl, the black and white of ballroom dancing sewn neatly onto her lapel beside a selection of others which Hiromi didn't recognise. 'So, you said we're starting next week?' Yoko nodded and the elegant girl strolled off, somehow avoiding being jostled by those around her.

'Hello there! We'd like to sign up for Senshado please!' Natsumi tapped Yoko on the shoulder to get her attention.

'Hello… that's wonderful, could I have your names please?' Yoko's lapel had a new patch, striped grey and red with a stylised black cog in the centre.

'Natsumi Sato.'

'Hiromi Koga.'

'Ayaka Oonishi.' The replies came fast and Yoko scratched at her clipboard frantically. Suddenly she lost her grip on her pen.

'Oh…' she said as it tumbled to the ground and rolled into the stampede. 'Do any of you have a pen?'

'Yes. Yours.' A girl with glasses and a short ponytail proffered the pen, heavily-chewed end first. 'Aimi Shigeyo. I'd also like to sign up.'

'Thank you!' Yoko hastily scribbled the name down 'Do any of you know anyone with a tank they could lend us, or know of any going cheap?' The group in front of her shook their collective heads. 'Not to worry, not to worry… see you on Tuesday next week then. Hello, and who might you be?' Hiromi was gently pushed aside by a somewhat dumpy-looking girl with a butterfly hairclip failing to keep her hair out of her eyes.

(Thought for the day: Battles are won by warriors. Wars are won by businessmen)