Hi minna, this is my first romance that i'm posting on this site. so, uh, humor me and read it.
Ok first off, i gotta warn you that i'm into angst right now. i usually jump at the opportunity at any possible
angst cuz it just improves the whole feel of a romance. you know, it just makes it more interesting. so any
story of mine is usually either comedy or romance w/ or w/o angst. and, well, you know this isn't a comedy.
Anyways, this is about a year after the (anime) Stars series. I'm not even sure. It's not too relevant. The
timeline might be a little off, Usagi's just gotten into college now and Crystal Tokyo is happening in two
years. Oh, and no action. No senshi. I'm not even sure if I'll even have that many characters in it. Just
Mamoru and Usagi right now. Oh, and Rei has a small part. And no, she's not in any way a romantic
interest for Mamoru. I love Rei but a coupling between her and Mamoru just bugs me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon. I'm sure you know that... you better know that! ^_^;
Tomorrow
by moonangel
ch 1 out of 2
Chiba Mamoru stared at the ring. He couldn't believe that it'd finally been finished. When he couldn't find
a ring perfect enough to fit his standards he'd had one made, designing it himself. Well, ok, he had a little
bit of Rei's help. It had taken forever. Now he had one fit to replace the heart shaped promise ring on his
beloved's finger. He closed the ring box. It wouldn't be good to drop the ring the day before he was going
to propose.
He couldn't believe that he was going to propose. Finally. After all the fighting, deaths and rebirths they'd
finally be together. They could live their dreams. Ok, so he'd have to wait for her to finish college before
they could marry. But still. This ring meant that they were actually going to get married. It made it a fact.
Well, maybe he was jumping ahead of himself, he hadn't even asked yet! But really, after the whole Nemesis
conflict he pretty much knew what her answer would be. They'd already meant their future daughter for
Kami's sake! So why was he suddenly nervous? Why was he suddenly worried that there was a chance
she wouldn't say yes right away? Or at all?
Seiya.
Sure, Seiya was leaving soon. But he and Usagi had seemed pretty close whenever he came back to visit.
It was clear that he was in love with her and that she cared deeply for him, maybe even more than as a
friend. She still insisted to everyone that he was just a friend, though. Mamoru had never even questioned
her about it. In fact, for all she knew he was ok with it. He was. Really.... Well, more or less. He knew not to
doubt her.
Usagi wasn't the type of person who could even consider cheating on her boyfriend. It was just that her
closeness with Seiya, a man who worshipped the ground she walked on and was able to openly she his
emotions better than Mamoru ever could, was very intimidating. He'd never been good at being
affectionate and for the first few years that they'd dated they rarely even held hands in public because of
the age difference. Seiya was an equal to her. Mamoru just couldn't connect to her on that level. He was too
old.
Rei and the others had assured him that sure, Usagi and Seiya were close, but the bond between the two
could never interfere with Usagi's love for Mamoru. She was Usagi's best friend so she knew. In fact, the
girls had encouraged him to propose soon, saying Usagi would be depressed with everyone leaving. She'd
helped with the arrangements with everything. Her, Ami and Makoto were the only ones who knew that he
was planning to propose tomorrow. No one had dared inform Minako considering how big her mouth was.
The ditz didn't understand the word "secret".
So he should be confident. He shouldn't doubt them. She'd say yes. Why wouldn't she? Then again, it was
one thing to tell yourself that, it was another to-
"I can't. I'm sorry Rei-chan. Maybe I'm being idealistic, but it's hard to accept it if it mean *this*!"
His eyes perked when he heard his Usako's voice. During his musings he had somehow led himself to the
park on the way to his apartment. Glancing around the corner, blocked by a few trees, he saw a tired
looking Usagi, though still as gorgeous as ever, arguing with a distraught Rei. Rei looked wary. It seemed
like they had been arguing for a while and Rei didn't seem too happy with it. Curiously, he stayed behind
the trees to see what was going on. He never eavesdropped. Yet, whatever they were discussing
seemed to be pretty serious and he didn't want to interrupt. Which of course meant that he should leave.
But maybe it might involve him and he could help. Sure, riiight.
"Usagi, it's your destiny," Rei said quietly. "You know I don't like it any more than you do. I know how
upset you are but there's no other way."
Destiny? Rei couldn't possibly have actually *told* Usagi that he was planning to propose could she? No.
The topic seemed to be of an unhappy nature anyways.
"There's always another way. The future isn't set in stone."
"But it is! Ok, so it's open to some changes. But not this! We *saw* the future. It doesn't matter what you
want. It-"
"So I'm a slave to the future? What I want doesn't matter? I didn't ask for this! I want freedom. I always
have. I don't want destiny to tell me what to do, to make the decisions in my life for me!"
Rei looked away. "I'm sorry Usagi. I truly am. But I can see no other way around this. This would effect the
whole future we saw. It could screw up the whole timestream. It'll upset everything."
Usagi sighed, "I need to think this over."
Rei nodded in understanding. But as Usagi turned to leave she grabbed her arm. Usagi looked to her
confused.
"You have to talk to Mamoru-san. I know you want to avoid it and it's clear you're upset right now but he
has a right to know-"
Usagi hung her head.
"I know."
Then she walked away.
Rei stared after Usagi, worried. She hated playing devil's advocate for her friend. She really just wanted her
to be happy. But as senshi they had a responsibility to the world. And what Usagi wanted could
completely alter the future. If only Setsuna hadn't told them. Usagi just couldn't handle it right now. But
Setsuna said she had a good reason, despite not looking too happy about it. From her demeanor Rei sensed
that she wasn't telling them something and she had a feeling it had something to do with the timing.
"Were you ever planning to tell me?"
She whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice coming from behind her. "Mamoru!"
He looked angry. Scratch that. He looked like he was going to tear off her head. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough."
She looked at him nervously. He didn't shout or anything but he just stood there, shaking with fury and
something else... pain? Why? It was a rare emotion for him so she knew to take this seriously. But what was
going on? Well, at least now she knew how the victims of her fiery temper felt. Why was he so angry?
Before their last heated debate she'd reassured Usagi that he wouldn't be upset. Now she was thinking that
she should change her stance on that. "Look, it's not my place to tell you. I mean, it's your life."
"Yes, and it's my life that's falling to pieces!" he yelled. "As my *friend* you should have told me that she
was in love with Seiya! You assured me that-"
Rei blinked, "Wait, Seiya? What does this have to do with Seiya?"
He growled, "Don't play stupid with me."
"No, Mamoru-san, wait! What are you talking about?"
His voice was deadly low as he bit out, "Don't. Don't even try. I can't take this."
And he left, walking away stiffly, as if he wanted to be anywhere but there. Rei could only just stand there
staring at him, too confused to follow him and by the time she figured out what was going on he too far
away to reach. 'Oh, no. I've got to find Usagi!'
Usagi stared at the building in front of her. She had to talk to Mamoru.
Usagi hoped more than anything that he was home. After a lot of thinking she'd finally come to accept the
fact that she couldn't control destiny, that she had to face him, tell him what Setsuna had told her five
hours ago. Rei was right. She had to be honest with him. It was up to him what he'd do about it. She really
didn't want to tell him that the future was nearing. It had seemed so much easier when they'd known it
would happen eventually, but way off into the distant future. Now Setsuna was giving them a date. She
was saying, It's not something to put aside thinking about until later, it's happening now. Well, now was in
two years. But still. That made it more real. She'd always known that sooner or later she'd have to become
Neo-Queen Serenity. But she'd figured that she'd grow into that; that when the time came she would be
ready. Now that there was a set date for it to happen she had to be ready. And she wasn't. The reality of it
had never hit her until now. Ruling the whole world? She could barely manage to make it to school on time!
Granted, at least she'd made it to college, but still. She wasn't ready to be a queen and she doubted she was
very capable.
But that wasn't even the most upsetting part that was bugging her! She refused to accept the fact that she'd
have to banish people. That's how Nemesis was formed anyways, it was practically a requirement for the
future that they'd seen to happen. They'd banish a group of rioters that would eventually become the Black
Moon family. That's how it was meant to happen, as Rei pointed out. Yet, as queen, wasn't she supposed to
save people? Wasn't she supposed to accept everyone? She just couldn't deal with it! It was like being a
big bully and saying, Hey, you don't agree with me so you can't live on my planet. It was absurd! Usagi
was never a person who would give up on people. Despite how it could interfere with the timestream she
hoped to find another way. Rei said that opposition would do nothing to help them form a utopia. But that
made little sense! She was supposed to just kick them out because they weren't being cooperative? Rei
kept saying that no matter what she wanted she had to do this. So destiny was telling her she had to be a
dictator. If destiny said so, then Rei said she'd have to do it. She needed to talk to Mamoru about this. It
was just too much. She had to stop thinking about it or it'd give her a headache.
Things were happening so fast. The Three Lights were leaving in three days and Chibi-Usa was returning
home after her last visit.
Ever. The next time she would see her would be when she gave birth to her. That moment had seemed so
far away before...
She had no idea how Mamoru would take this news. If his reaction would be anything like hers she
doubted he'd be too happy. He wanted to become a doctor and now his dreams could never come true
because he had a greater responsibility to take on. He'd never asked for this. None of them had. For him, it
just came with the package. The package being her. Yet he could be free of it all. It was her responsibility in
reality. If he left her, he didn't have to be king. He could pursue his dreams. She knew that it was silly, she
shouldn't question his love and loyalty to her. But it would be so easy for him to just up and leave. He
could be free. She shook her head. As Rei had said, he had a right to know. It wasn't her decision to make,
it was his. After a few hours of trying to figure things out and let her doubts take charge she'd finally
gotten up the courage to come here. He loved her. If anything, she needed to talk to him to have his
assurance that everything would be ok. He could always make things better. Despite her worries she was
eager for his comforting presence. Anyways, he would be happy to see her. With everything that had been
going on she hadn't seen much of him that week.
Resolutely she entered his apartment building and got into the elevator. As she reached his floor she
squared her shoulders and told herself she could do it. But when she found his apartment she saw that the
door was open. He never left it open, or even unlocked for that matter. Worriedly she decided to enter.
She glanced inside, surprised that no lights were on. And he was nowhere to be seen. Something was
clearly wrong. Her hope that this would be easy, that he would understand and only be supportive of her,
was starting to dwindle. Looking around she finally spotted him on the balcony outside the sliding glass
door. He made quite a picture, his back stiffly facing away from her, raven black hair rustled lightly by a
passing breeze. If she didn't know him so well she'd feel intimidated. In his hand he held a glass of a clear
liquid and he seemed to be staring at nothing. Something about what he was drinking bugged her... Beside
him, on the balcony ledge, she spotted a brown, half-empty bottle and her eyes widened. He never drank
alcohol. She looked at him again and before she was even able to say his name he spoke.
"I was expecting you to come. I'm surprised you took so long."
She blinked. His voice was dead, devoid of all emotion and he didn't even turn around to look at her. This
was not the warm welcome she had been hoping for.
"Y-you were?" her brow furrowed. What... ? "D-did you talk to Rei?"
"Yes."
Usagi bit her lip. He didn't seem very responsive and her hopes fell. So he wasn't happy. She should have
expected that. It's just that... she had hoped that he'd be supportive, or at least a little understanding. Or at
least not angry. Was he mad that she hadn't come to him immediately? Why had Rei talked to him before
letting her at least explain things to him?
"You don't seem to be too happy about it," she stated uncertainly.
"You expected me to be?" he asked sarcastically, a bitter note in his voice.
She winced. This was not a Mamoru she was used to. He was never like this. Even when they'd broken up
for that short period of time he'd been at least mildly cordial. Was it really that bad? Did he feel like she was
holding him back? At least the future that was sneaking up on them guaranteed that they would be
together. That, along Chibi-Usa, was her only consolation. But for him, was she worth it?
"... No, it's just that... I was hoping you'd... understand."
He laughed cynically, "I can't believe that i was planning to propose to you tomorrow."
Her eyes widened. What? Propose? Before her hopes could rise again she paused. He wasn't acting like a
man who was eager to marry his girlfriend.
And what did he mean by "was"?
"And now?"
He paused and took a swig of his drink. He tossed the glass out over the ledge. Her eyes widened in
surprise. And then he took a swig from the bottle. Finally, he spoke.
"Everyone needs their freedom,"
So that was his decision. She hadn't believed that he'd give her up just so he could have his freedom. But
why not? He'd always had to protect her and put saving the world in front of his own needs. He deserved
happiness too and if this was how she could give it to him then so be it. Her eyes were watery with fresh
tears ready to spill. She nodded her head, even though he couldn't see her.
"I understand. I'm sorry you had to put up with me for so long. I know I don't deserve that but... I will no
longer be your responsibility," she managed to get out, her voice wavering with the threat of tears. And
then she was gone.
She ran. That was all she could do. Tears spilled down her face but she barely felt them. She was numb.
That hadn't just happened. She couldn't accept it. It simply wouldn't sink in that her whole world was
crumbling around her. The implications of the break up and now altered future just couldn't reach her
troubled mind. Yesterday things were perfect. And tomorrow, had he really been planning to propose?
How could Setsuna do this to her? Why did she have to choose today to tell her about her destiny? Then
again, it was better this way. If he had proposed it would have been that much worse for her when he
decided she wasn't worth it.
She had thought that he loved her. Had she been wrong? Or had he simply not loved her enough?
More tears fell.
He stared out at the city as he heard the door close. He finished the bottle and tossed it towards the
pavement, eight stories below him. So she was gone. He had actually hoped that she'd have begged for
him to change his mind. That she'd come back any moment and beg him. But that wouldn't happen. He
knew it wouldn't. So why did he keep expecting her to come back through that door? The tears fell before
he even noticed. He never cried. Well, rarely. Only for her.
He bit back a sob and in moments he collapsed on the balcony ledge, sobs wracking his body.
to be continued...
ok, that was depressing huh? and very unoriginal with the whole overhearing and misunderstanding a
private conversation bit.
i know it's kinda depressing. but i just think a little angst makes the romance that much sweeter when the
happy ending comes around. and yes, there will be a happy ending if i actually get to finishing this. i doubt
i'd ever go w/o one... it depends on the story. if you've got a good story in your head you can't change it
around just 'cuz it doesn't have a happily ever after ending to it. that ruins the story... ok, rambling.
so anyways, there'll prolly be only one more chapter, knowing how i am. and if you actually want that
chapter written you should review 'cuz i'm not sure if i'll let laziness kick in and not finish it. hehe, sorry, i'm
not begging for reviews or anything, i just seriously don't know if it's worth finishing the story.