A/N: It's been a while. My Muse is not playing nice. So my apologies for those waiting for updates on other stories. Maybe this will kick start me. Anyways the first two paragraphs of this story I wrote a while ago and gave them to a friend as a challenge to create something around them. I decided I would challenge myself too, and this is what I wrote.

Hazel eyes locked onto intense dark brown orbs as her body shook, stilled and then shuddered through a powerful orgasm brought on by reverent ministrations. The sensation of Jane falling down beside her, arm draped lovingly over her torso, all the while placing soft kisses along her neck and clavicle brought Maura undone emotionally. She didn't deserve such tenderness; such reverence.

She curled up into a foetal position as the first of the violent sobs wracked her body. She felt strong arms wrap protectively around her and the warm breath of her lover on her neck, but still the sobs came. She had reached a tipping point and no matter how she tried she couldn't pull back from the emotions that overflowed from her heart and soul via tear ducts and shallow, sharp breathing.

"I've got you," Jane murmured softly into honey blonde hair. Her lips pressed gently against the warm skin at the back of Maura's neck. "I've got you," she repeated, intent to soothe the desperate emotions pouring from her guilt laden lover. "It's gonna be okay, Maur."

For several minutes after the only sounds that penetrated the silence of the room were sobs and gasps for air as the emotion choked Maura up. It was a difficult situation for the detective because she didn't know how to make this better. It wasn't exactly the most cut and dry of situations and already the guilt was ripping her best friend to shreds.

Another soft kiss, this time below a delicate ear. "Talk to me Maur. Please?" She wasn't entirely desperate just yet, but there was a sense of dread building in the pit of her stomach.

Quieting the sobs, Maura turned into the body holding her so that she could search the dark eyes looking back at her with such worry. A sad smile graced her lips as she reached a hand up to rest against the defined cheekbone of her love. There was so much she wanted to say. So much she needed to say, but where was she to begin? She sighed and closed her eyes when she felt the soft sensation of lips on her forehead.

"Jane," her voice barely a whisper; her tone saying it all. This was a mistake.

Jane shook her head slightly, she knew where Maura was headed with this and she didn't like it. Sure there was a hell of a lot to sort out, but she refused to believe it couldn't be done. "Nuh uh, no. Don't."

She could see the unshed tears in dark chocolate just waiting for one more horrid sensation to fall. She hated being the one to cause such pain to her love, but they had crossed lines they shouldn't have. If her own eyes hadn't already been red raw from her previous crying, she imagined that she would have more tears to shed herself.

This was the most painful of situations. "Oh my Darling," her thumb slid down a defined cheekbone and ghosted over swollen lips, "Please understand."

Jane closed her eyes at the feel of the delicate exploration on her face. She tried so hard to catalogue the moment and revel in sweetness of the touch; because she was deathly afraid she would never have it again. After a few moments she opened her eyes and swallowed thickly, pushing down emotion she didn't want to escape. It cut like a knife. "Sure, okay, if that's what you need."

The breeze created by the swift movement as Jane rolled away sent chills down Maura's spine. The only thing she was sure of was that this wasn't what she needed and it most certainly wasn't okay and nor did she believe it would ever be okay again, but she couldn't be selfish. She couldn't be the one to cause her love to wake up one day hating herself for a rash decision. If it meant she lost Jane then so be it. Their time was in the past, the future was not theirs to steal from.

"Please," she had uttered the word before she even knew what else to say.

Jane looked up from where she had been hurriedly pulling her jeans back on. She finished doing them up and started pulling her boots on, ignoring the plea of the woman that she had only a half hour ago shown the depths of her love. It was clearly a mistake, because now not only had she jeopardised her family life, she had lost her best friend. There was no turning back from this rejection. It cut too deep.

Maura reached down and grabbed the first thing she could find to slip on before climbing off the bed and stepping tentatively over to Jane. "Please don't…"

"Don't what Maura?" Jane snapped, looking up angrily once she had both boots on. She melted a little at the sight of Maura in her Red Sox jersey, but kept those feelings locked inside where they couldn't escape. She raised an eyebrow impatiently, "Well?"

It was all falling apart around her and oh how she wished she could erase the last three hours. Her heart ached at the devastation hidden in the eyes that glared at her waiting on an answer. She stepped closer to Jane and placed a hand on her forearm, "Please don't leave like this."

"And how exactly do you think I'm leaving?" She snapped sarcastically, completely irritated by the fact that Maura was the one that had pretty much pushed her away and now expected things to be hunky dory.

Fresh tears sprung forth as the doctor uttered, "Like this is goodbye, forever."

"Well maybe it is," Jane retorted all too quickly. She cursed herself internally for the hurt that plastered itself all over the soft features of her doctor. She sighed, Maura wasn't her anything anymore. She never really had been.

"Fuck," she cursed loudly and pulled Maura into her arms. She felt the intensity with which the arms wrapped around her waist and she sighed into the kiss she planted on her love's forehead. "It won't be forever, I promise."

Maura sighed as she pressed her head into the crook of Jane's neck. She was torn by the intense swirl of emotions battering her senses. Nobody had ever understood her the way Jane had. Nobody had ever loved her the way Jane had and yet it had never really been the right time. She had never been brave enough when it would have made a difference, and now she had dragged Jane down with her. "I love you Jane," she whispered softly. "Maybe it should be forever."

The reality was she knew Maura was right. She knew that Maura wasn't trying to hurt her, no matter how much it felt like that. No matter how much she wanted to find a way to make this work. Maura knew what her heart kept ignoring; she would never be able to walk away from her wife and son.

She wanted to tell Maura she loved her too. She wanted to pull her back down onto the bed and have her way with her over and over until they were too exhausted to go any further, but she had a real life with responsibilities to get back to. It had been a mistake to fall into the arms of her best friend and they both knew it, but she would never say that. She would never belittle Maura like that, or the love that they shared.

She swallowed thickly as she stepped out to arms length and searched hazel eyes that glistened with tears. The worst part was she knew how this was going to play out. Maura was going to fall on her sword and say goodbye to everything she loved. Goodbye to her role as Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, goodbye to the Rizzoli's and goodbye to Boston, all because she could.

Jane hated herself so violently in that moment. She had effectively taken everything from this woman who had done nothing but take care of her. She charged the door and punched it viciously before sliding down against it and burying her head in her hands. "I'm so, so sorry Maura."

Maura sighed and slid down next to Jane. Their hands locked together between their bodies. "Don't let this drag you down, Jane. Your family needs you."

Somewhere deep down a laugh escaped at the irony of Maura's words. When the laughter died out almost as quickly as it came she turned her head to the side so she could look at her friend. "You're my family too, Maur."

It was true, and while she longed for Jane Rizzoli she was more than capable of standing on her own two feet. It would suck, if she was to use Jane's vocabulary as a descriptive choice, but it wasn't something she hadn't done before. "But I don't need you," she said matter-of-factly in an attempt to ease the burden resting on her love's soul.

"If I didn't know better I'd be offended right now Maur," Jane said softly in response.

Maura squeezed the hand in hers and offered a sad smile, "I'll be fine."

"Where will you go?" She doubted she would get an honest answer, because they both knew if she knew where Maura was going to be, she might just try and track her down.

"Somewhere warm."

The soft smile that creased Maura's face was too much for Jane. She twisted her body so she could lean in closer and catch soft lips with a tender kiss. Gone was the urgency of an insatiable hunger that had pulled them into this position. In it's place the tenderness of a love that would never cease.

She pulled back and brought her forehead to rest against her doctor's, "Sounds nice."

Goodbye. I love you. I'll never forget you.

A/N: Sooo bittersweet... if you want a second chapter where they come to their senses give me some love in the review section... I reckon I can manage it ;)