Dorea closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then opened them again.
It did not help. She was still staring at her reflection wordlessly, trying to accept what she looked like. And, generally, accept the fact that she was about to be married.
Her dress was all lace and satin, falling down to her ankles. The décolletage was low and there was a small, almost unnoticeable thin ribbon right under her chest, and yet there were sleeves – or, well, something that passed for ones – that wrapped around her neck on the back and were still way too short on the front. Dorea had failed to understand why her mother wouldn't let her dress in what she liked, but had to have her wear an actual wedding dress – it was as if Violetta was mocking her daughter with all the bows and dresses and lace when she wanted just to be left alone and certainly did not want to get married.
Her hair was even worse. Her coiffure was some kind of a knot, but Dorea's sister – Cassiopeia – hadn't know what to do with so much hair and had left a few dark curls fall around her little sister's face. She had even placed a big flower in her hair – a rose, and had told her that pink roses symbolised grace and happiness. And that was what Dorea was supposed to be on her wedding, wasn't she, graceful and happy. Nonsense.
With a small tingle of guilt for thinking ill of her older sister, Dorea looked down at her shoes and scowled. How was she supposed to walk in these at all? They were as white as the dress, with small heels and a ribbon on the front and looked extremely uncomfortable when Violetta had picked them up, but felt even worse now, on Dorea's feet.
"Dorea?"
The young woman winced at the sound of her mother's voice. She sighed softly. "Yes, Mother?"
"Are you ready?"
"In a minute."
"Hurry up, stupid girl. Everyone is waiting."
Dorea did not care to answer to this and, if she could judge by the sounds of steps slowly getting away from the door, her mother didn't need an answer anyway. She just sat back on her bed, overwhelmed by desperation once more.
She was actually getting married. She had never wanted that. She hadn't bothered to discuss the idea with her parents or her sister when she was younger – Dorea had been too ashamed to ask anything about it when it came to Cygnus and Violetta, and her sister was never one to talk to when it came to marriage.
When Pollux was married to Irma, however, Dorea had started to worry that soon, their parents would want her to marry too. She had gone to her older brother and asked him if he was happy.
"Of course I am," Pollux had said back then, smiling as he thought of his wife and his children – a girl named Walburga, and her two brothers – Alphard and Cygnus, the latter named after Pollux and Dorea's father – and he'd told her that "well, one day soon, you'll experience it too."
Dorea had been naïve enough to believe him and to start waiting impatiently for her parents to find her a suitor. She had always imagined someone strong, beautiful and kind, a respectable and nice man, someone who could suit her perfectly.
And what did she get? Charlus Potter.
He is pureblood and everything you can ask for, Dorea. And very handsome, if I may add. Everyone says so, Violetta had told her firmly when the girl had tried to complain, protest and even cry when needed, against her marriage to said man. Be a good girl and behave well when he comes for tea, will you? You don't need to bring more shame to the family. As if Marius hasn't done enough… Somewhere by this point her mother had shaken her head in despair and left her daughter alone.
Ah, Marius – Dorea's other brother. It would be definitely his turn to be married now if it wasn't for all his flaws. A Black to turn out to be a Squib – who had heard of such a thing at all? But it had happened, and he had had been disowned.
And all the anger their parents had had to stifle had been directed at Dorea instead.
She felt the sudden need to stand up from the bed and smack something really, really hard – maybe that stupid mirror that she had been pointlessly staring at for almost two hours now. It would certainly make her feel better, she thought, her hands curling into angry fists.
But then again, it would not change anything either.
Dorea stood up from where she was sitting and walked out of the room when she heard the name of the groom and the best man being announced. Her father was standing outside the door, scowling a bit at her.
"What took you so long?" he asked, seeming irritated and trying to avoid looking at her dress. But, when he apparently couldn't stop himself from making a comment, he added "And what kind of clothing is that, if I may ask?"
"I chose it with Mother," Dorea said defensively, trying to think of a way that would let her hide herself from his pointed stare. She crossed her arms over her chest – it was the best she could do right now. "And I like it," she hurried to say, even if it was half a lie.
"It looks like something a Muggle bride would wear," Cygnus pointed out with a decent amount of repulsion in his voice, though he tried to hide it – Dorea wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want to seem rude or because he actually didn't want to hurt her feelings by insulting her dress.
"Yes," she answered calmly, meeting his gaze and squinting a bit, reminding herself that if marriage was useful in any way, one of its good sides was that her father would have no power over her in less than an hour. "That's their fashion now. And, if you would want to know, Charlus can be really fond of Muggles. He will like it, and it's all about him liking me after all, isn't it?"
Her father raised an eyebrow and Dorea felt delighted for a second, seeing that Cygnus had realised that he had chosen his daughter a husband who liked Muggles in any way. Yes, she did not like Charlus either. But she would be damned if she would say that to her father.
As soon as they were out in the garden, where the wedding was supposed to take place, Dorea realised how many people had actually been invited to it. Once again, she felt the urge to hide somewhere instead of walk and consciously ruin her life in front of all these people, but she ignored the urge.
It seemed as it took forever for her to get to the arch of flowers where Charlus was waiting for her. She stopped gracefully, looking straight into his hazel eyes, and wished to find there a man that she would like to spend the rest of her life with.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly, his brow furrowing in concern. When she did not react, he seemed to panic. "If you want, I'll tell them to call off the whole thing and wait until you're feeling better again."
He cared about her. Dorea couldn't believe that Charlus actually cared if she was all right or not. Back in school they barely ever talked to each other, and now he was asking how she was feeling as if he was really concerned.
She nodded slowly. "Yes," she breathed. "I'm fine." They both turned to the wizard sent from the Ministry when he started speaking.
"We've gathered here today…."
The bride tried to distract herself from the whole thing until it came time to actually answer the question when she was being asked. Her chance was now. If she wanted to run away or just… do anything else instead of marrying Charlus, she had to do it now. If she wanted to escape, this was her final chance.
"Have you prepared your vows?"
Charlus nodded shakily and started speaking, though Dorea couldn't hear half of what he was saying.
"I, Charlus Percival Potter, take thee, Dorea Belvina Black, to be my lawful wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth."
Her first thought was that, despite the fact that her parents had forced her to remember the same thing before the wedding, she could barely understand a word from it. And when that rather pointless thought fled her mind, she actually realised what she was just told. There was no turning back now.
Dorea felt as if something was gagging her, but tried to hide her helplessness. Instead, she shot her mother a panicked look. Violetta answered by glaring at her. The young woman got the message pretty well. Don't you dare do anything stupid.
Feeling that the guests were starting to get nervous from the silence – which had got positively too long – she started speaking.
"I, Dorea Belvina Black…" her voice raised and trembled, then died, but she took a deep breath through gritted teeth, and started speaking again. "…take thee, Charlus Percival Potter, to be my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."
They exchanged the rings in less than a minute, which was the time needed for Dorea to understand what exactly she had just done. She wanted to throw herself off a cliff for her stupidity – how could she do it? Oh, but she had to run away… It would be better…. Certainly preferable than spending her life with a man like him…
She reminded herself how honest he looked just a few minutes ago, when he was saying his wedding vows, staring straight into her eyes with his wide hazel ones, and couldn't help but think: it could have been worse.
So when the wizard said "You may now kiss the bride," Dorea let Charlus kiss her, despite the fact that she still didn't trust him entirely.
"I love you," he said when they parted again and the guests applauded them and they started taking congratulations from everybody.
Shock pierced through Dorea's body at these words, but she smiled to him without saying anything. She wanted to answer with the same, but she did not wish to lie. Yes, she didn't hate him anymore. She liked him and thought that he was a decent man, but she could not look into his eyes and lie so wholeheartedly by saying that she truly loved him.
Dorea let him hold her hand all the time while they were around the guests on the party that was held after the wedding itself. She kept herself distracted during the official dinner and when she said 'goodbye' to her family and Apparated with Charlus to the castle-like building that was the Potters's place. All the time, there were thousands of thoughts racing through her mind – thoughts of what life she would have to live now and that she was already a wife and also many other things – but during all this time, the moment when Charlus had said 'I love you' kept reminding her of itself and she couldn't forget it.
Even though she couldn't say the same to him; not if she wanted to be honest.
"I love you," he said again when they first entered his house – and her new home – and he led her to their bedroom. "I know that you were forced into this – but I asked my parents to ask yours for your hand. I love you, Dorea."
Dorea merely smiled wordlessly at him once again, feeling intensely guilty.
I will learn to love you too some day, Charlus.
Notes: I don't know why, but I'm somewhat proud of this one shot. There are now prequels to it somewhere on my profile which explain Charlus and Dorea's relationship before this fic; you can check them out if you want to.