After everything they've been through in the last ten years, everyone naturally expects James to end up with Marlene McKinnon when their years of friendship and Head Student bit is all said and done.
She's his closest female friend, after all – She cried on his shoulders the day the news of her sisters death arrived at Hogwarts, and him likewise when he had found out that his father was brutally murdered, and they've been shadows of each other ever since. It's rare to see one of them without the other, and they're so much alike, it's uncanny. She's his teammate, his co. Head Student, and an honorary Marauder – he'd do anything for her and she for him.
On paper, they're perfect for each other and everyone agrees. Jame's mother has given him plenty of nudges in Marlene's direction, dropping hints that a daughter of the McKinnons will forever be in need of a son of the Potter's guidance, and practically giving him blessing for any relationship the last time they spoke. Sirius has even given him consent, jokingly telling him to guard his cousin's purity in a conversation that left James' heart heavy, his mouth laughing along while his brain was thinking no, he didn't think of Marlene that way, please shut up.
And while Marlene is pretty and intelligent and would certainly make a smart match in the long run, he can't bring himself to think of her in a romantic sense in the slightest. He certainly tries, because it's the duty of boy's in general to experiment with all female variables, but it's just strange. When he and Marlene exchange kisses and experimental touches, it doesn't feel anything like the past snogs and shags that James had experienced in the past. In fact, James is almost always bored when Marlene's tongue is his mouth. He might be not be as in touch with his baser emotions like some of the other people his age, but he knows enough about hormones that being bored during a snogging session is not a good sign for a future couple.
Even though she very clearly enjoys the new physical side of their relationship, Marlene doesn't seem all that romantically interested in him either. His mother says that will come with time, that all women are notorious for guarding their feelings, but James prays with all his might that conversation between them will never come about. He doesn't have it in him to break Marlene McKinnon's heart.
His prayers are answered that summer, when Marlene, himself and the Marauders are recruited to the Order of the Phoenix, a rebellious group focused on bringing down Voldemort once and for all. On a particularly dangerous mission that Sirius, Marlene and Peter are sent on, two of them come back, and Marlene is not one of them.
He goes out of his mind with worry and rage, doing everything he possibly can to get her back. But that's apparently not enough for Dumbledore, because instead of giving him more time for his solo search for Marlene, the Headmaster of his old school partners him up with a formidable red-haired muggleborn from Beauxbatons who is hellbent on retrieving not only Marlene, but everyone who has been captured, out of the Death Eaters grasps.
James finds this – this trade to be a completely unacceptable arrangement, and does everything possible to make Lily Evans' life when working on the case miserable. He thinks his mother would agree with this strategy, no matter how much the Order may need Miss Evans to throw a simple curse here and there. Her personality is too strong for his liking, and clashes with his own far too often. Plus she is a Muggleborn. Though James stands against any kind of racism, his mother does not.
And Merlin, does he try to dislike her. Lily Evans is stubborn, annoying and ridiculously kind for a soldier; she's also very good with potions and charms, even if it's a bit too "look-at-me-I-can-perform-the-Fidelius-Charm" for his tastes, and she's certainly not afraid to challenge him with sarcasm when she isn't too busy ignoring him. Her list of accomplishments is longer than his, but she's not arrogant and he's heard rumors that she turned down a permanent teaching position at the end of her NEWTS in order to fight the war against Voldemort.
If that's not enough to deal with, there's also the problem that Lily Evans is... well, very pretty. She and Marlene both have that in common, at least, but where Marlene is tall and willowy, Lily is shorter, curvier and has these waves of red hair that made James go mad. He caught sight of the dancing gold flecks in those emerald green eyes of hers when they were in a particular heated conversation, and the image stuck to his mind for a week straight, of those eyes crinkled with laughter or dark with lust.
She also has this stupid smile and that makes his stomach churn whenever it gets directed his way – which is very rare, considering half the time they are either fighting or ignoring each other, but when James uses his sense of humour and Lily makes the occasional witty remark, they find themselves laughing with each other instead of at.
Lily's the very opposite of Marlene – she's not the sensible choice, the smart, safe choice – but James craves her presence much more than he cares to admit.
So when she slaps him across the face in the rain, yells at him to not be such a coward and a selfish twat, James glimpses at those almond eyes and is not startled to see the tears in them. And suddenly, he wants to make her happy again, he wants to see those eyes dance. He expected that he would crack soon, and so he's leaning, leaning, leaning...
What he doesn't expect, however, is the blistering, aching hunger that comes when his lips settle over Lily Evan's. It takes his breath away, makes her gasp into his mouth and arch into his calloused hands as they slip under her shirt, spanning her back and pulling her tight against him. This is what kissing is supposed to feel like. This is how your match is supposed to make you feel, like your heart just learned to start beating for the first time.
May his mother and Marlene forgive him, but this –
This is the right choice for him.
Um hi! :) This is my first story, so please favourite or review or something like that. Actually, don't feel you have to, just do what you want, thanks!
+Oliv