Jane had known there was no time to explain where she was going. And even if she had time to explain, she knew she couldn't. She had talked her self into silently slipping away after Maura had left. She knew she was going to break both of their hearts, but it was for the best. She knew she would never be able to tell her how she really felt anyways. The fear of losing everything with Maura kept her from ever saying anything, all these years.
"Maura is happy. She has Jack", Jane chanted softly.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" The Marshall questioned from the drivers seat.
"….just thinking out loud," Jane replied as she allowed her head to roll back, the drugs she'd been given taking hold. She closed her eyes tightly as the single tear fell and all thoughts cleared but one: Maura is happy, she has Jack.
—
Maura gave her self a once over in the mirror, smoothing her hand down the front of her pencil skirt. She'd had a restless night after leaving Jane at the hospital and was abnormally anxious to get back to her best friend this morning.
As Maura descended the stairs, she was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and she allowed herself the momentary wish that it was Jane she would see as she turned the corner, coffee cup in one hand and her nose in the sports section… the scene she'd witnessed most mornings, including the day before.
'How things have changed', she mused. She smiled as Angela closed the fridge and jumped slightly at the new addition to the kitchen. "I didn't mean to startle you, sorry Angela," Maura smiled as she walked around getting two cups out of the cupboard out of habit. Angela noticed the gesture and smiled.
"Oh, no problem dear. I just didn't expect you up so early."
"I could't sleep, and … I just feel… something seems off and it has made me anxious to get back to see Jane and then I'll need to get to the office and review the case from yesterday," Maura explained. She was convinced she needed to look deeper into the case that had landed Jane in the hospital.
"I was planning on heading over as well this morning, would you like some company?" Angela asked.
"I'd love the company," Maura stated as she finished her coffee and fruit. "Let me get a few things from my office and we can leave."
As Maura gathered her laptop and the few files she had been working on, she glanced up and noticed the light on her cell phone was blinking, indicating a message. She clicked the screen on and realized she had several missed calls and two voicemails. As she saw the voicemails were from Frankie and Vince, she dialed in to listen to them as she put her purse on her shoulder and walked towards the living room to meet Angela.
"Maura, it's Frankie. I need you to call me back. I'll keep trying you. You've got to pick up!" Frankie sounded frazzled and Maura instantly worried that Janes condition may have turned. She skipped to the next message from Korsak and realized it had been received only a little over two hours earlier.
"Maura… I need you to call me as soon as you get this. It's Jane…." Maura heard his voice crack as she entered the kitchen, Looking up to see Frankie holding a sobbing Angela and the phone slowly slid to the hardwood floor making a deafening thud as it hit. Korsak turned from Angela when the phone hit, looking into Hazel eyes glossing over with tears. Maura noticed the redness lining Korsak's eyes and took in Frankie's slumped figure, desperately clinging to that of his mother. The world seemed to move in slow motion and Maura shook her head as if to clear away the sudden fog that was clouding her brain. "No…No….no…", Maura's bag slid off her shoulder as she began to tremble. Her lungs felt empty and she gasped, but couldn't get enough air. She shook her head again, trying to clear her head to process the information, to ask the question she already knew the answer to. She gasped. "NO!" the strangled scream came out, as did the tears. Korsak reached her a slit second before her knees hit the hardwood floor.
"I'm so sorry Maura. So, so sorry," came the strangled apology in-between his own gasps for air as he chocked back his own emotion. Maura let herself fall into his arms, seeking what little comfort they offered as she continued to struggle breathing. The sobs wracked her body and her mind seemed to shut down. There was no rational thinking, no survival mode. She simply couldn't feel anything. She felt her senses slowly turning off, her defense mechanisms kicking in in an effort to help her cope. She bought her hand to her mouth in an effort to cover her sobs.