A/N: I got upset because this was short and crappy so I rewrote it...

You'll never know how much I love you just like you'll never know how much I missed you. You weren't even there to watch me grow up. You froze my heart and I fell for you. I wish it was a slow descent. But with you, nothing is ever slow.

You fixed everything you've done wrong while I watched, silently begging you to fix me. You never caught on to my fumbling fingers and nervous antics. I wish you did. Even as you did tell me on several occasions that you loved me. I loved you too. You told me how much you cared for me and I did the same. From the day we ended your winter together we swore to dance in the rain together because we weren't scared of anything anymore. We promised to never leave the other alone. I know I mean it, but did you? I meant it when we said we'd sing along to songs we barely knew and when I said that when I hugged you I'd never let you go.

The months passed and I still stood her waiting for you to love me as I love you. I waited for you to wish away the pain you were causing me. The internal fights caused by constant turmoil of you never requiting these feelings. I couldn't settle for your hugs and smiles when I passed you through the hallways of our home. We were close but not close enough. It wasn't enough.

As grateful as I am, it would never be enough. I wanted more- I needed more. More of all of you.

Plead as I may but you'd never hear my cries in the night. Oh, how I'd love to hold you. How I'd love to kiss you. To taste your lips upon mine all along hearing you whisper my name to the darkness around us. To wake up with you beside me, smiling when I pushed your beautiful hair out from in front of your face.

But you would never.

So you go about your duties as you've been taught. Never shaking or stumbling. Elegance and sophistication could be your middle name. With me flailing and falling, letting you clean up my messes.

I've read too many stories of unrequited love and I'm beginning to loathe this uncreative story that seems to have drowned us. I keep trying to forget you but my dreams leave me screaming for your touch. Waking up with the sky lights outside my window and I'll think of that last night I had before you left me.

You were an almighty celestial being and I wasn't much more than an expendable sidekick. Things would be better without me in your way. I was better off gone anyway. Sometimes I'd fool myself into thinking I was your world until I remembered the universe was yours to create. And I wasn't a necessary component. Without me, your life will go on being. A life that's lived with joy and meaning.

I love you.

But I find myself learning everyday that you will never see me in the starlight that I see cast over you. It's mesmerizing to see you standing there with the world yours and only yours.

You took me to the North Mountain. We sat in your castle huddled together in the blue-green walls you often escaped to after the sun fell from the sky and the moon rushed in. You told me stories of the kingdoms that have come and gone. We talked through the night. I watched your mouth carefully and saw it hesitate. Almost like the words you were saying were afraid. I wasn't sure what they could be afraid of. Not then at least. Your eyes never met mine the whole time. I feared you wanted me to leave, but you insisted I stay. Which was a first. When we were younger you always did tell me to go away if I ever tried asking you to come out. The times we did get to talk... Well, those were great.

I watched your ice turn from a calm blue to a orange. I still haven't learned your colors. The same as the sun that rose that morning. It was beautiful. Just like every other thing you've made. You looked me in the eye for the first time in so long. I felt my throat go dry. How do you always manage to do this to me? I read the words you say and I can still feel them long after you leave. You were close enough for me to worry you would hear my pounding heart. Close enough for me to pray you couldn't hear my thoughts. Terrible, sinful thoughts. My eyes went to your lips when they separated ever-so slightly. I've always loved your lips. The way they verbalize each word sweetly but not sugar coated. I guess you did hear what I was thinking of because you slowly closed the gap between us. In the late morning sun I felt your lopsided smile against my own for the first time. Your fingers curled into a fistful of my hair, pulling it slightly... Not that I minded much. I was in your arms and you were in mine. And I felt you through my whole. Before I could even think about it you were over me. Before I could even close my eyes your ice turned pure white.

If I have ever known the feeling of ecstasy, this must have been it. I could feel your fingers as they ran through my hair and I pulled you closer to me... If that was even possible But I didn't care. There was you and I and that's all that mattered. That's all that has ever mattered to me.

You whimpered and I knew you've finally faltered. How long have you been waiting for this? I ran my tongue along your bottom lip then you pulled away with a gasp for air. Of course you frantically apologized to me. You always were so concerned about others that you hardly ever stopped to think about yourself. I wish you gave yourself more credit. I think that's one of the greatest things about it, even if it did seem to destroy you. I told you it was alright, and I told you how much I dreamt of the two of us together in love and you smiled to me as a response. I asked you to kiss me again and you did so without a second guess.

If I could tell you how I felt in that moment, I would have. Only I couldn't find a way to link the words together so I told you with my hands. In our tangled mess of limbs you told me that you loved me and I told you that I loved you too. I loved you in so many ways I would never be able to begin to show you. You were my world. My heart and soul. You were everything in my eyes.

Three years have gone by since then. You and I finally understand each other on more level than one. I never thought we'd get this far. Sure we could joke and tease about it but somewhere deep within me I would still look at you and wonder how you lived your life everyday feeling unloved and rejected when you were just the opposite. I haven't quite figured out a way to tell you how I remembered what i felt in that first moment, but I'm sure you know. It was with you that all of this happened.

In those three years I've fallen in and out of love you. And it really is love. What we have is love and I don't doubt it at all. Just like I never have and never will doubt you. I trusted every word you said to me. I know you trusted me as well. It's hard to keep you a secret when you're everything to me. You tell me that I'm your whole world. I believe you now, I believed you before and I'll believe you forever.

Even if I'm wrong and you're lying. When it came to you I never had to pretend.

You still create the universe. And now I know that I'm included. I know that in your universe we're together and we will never leave each other alone again.

Two months ago we were thriving. Both as a kingdom and a couple. But winter hit hard this year and the town has had many fires throughout our land. At first you tried to freeze the flames but you were nearly killed. I don't know what part of you thought that ice was stronger than flames. A fire destroys quick and chaotic while ice causes its damage slower and cleaner. More precise. Absolute could never stand a chance against recklessness. Much like you and I. You fell from my touch just as quick as a drop of water from a melting icicle. Our people who once lived in near prosperity come to our castle begging for a place to stay the night. You let them stay without a moments hesitation. You even gave them food in the morning before they would set off and go about their normal days. Possibly even returning the following evening to thank us. I know Arendelle will survive, but will you? Arendelle has shown exactly how resilient it is. While you? You're the one who's dropped to my feet with just a glare.

All of me knew how limited your time was with me. I tried my best to make the most of it. With your lips pressed to my neck and our bodies against each other it really wasn't that hard to do. If you only knew the ways you made me feel alive. You would whisper the sweet words of apologies for all the times you weren't there when you needed to. I could still hear your voice guttural in my mind, saying how you will never let me go followed by the sound of my breath leaving my lungs. I never would have guessed that something as simple as the tone of your voice could leave my limbs weak.

You yelled at me the next day. The worst part is that I yelled back. I know I should have walked away because you were only tired and stressed from your work but I just couldn't help it. I don't know what came over me in that moment. I should have just said I'd make it up to you but I called you needy. You swore and and complained how I was just being too acquisitive. If there weren't people around I would have kissed you and apologized. I still hate myself every day for fighting with you. You didn't deserve it. You were trying your hardest. I knew that.

You spent the next several nights on the North Mountain. Instead of me hiking up there to find you I stayed in my room and cried. We're too young. We're always too young. Somewhere inside me I knew that hidden from view was a side of you that didn't want to be the queen. I too, didn't want to live like this. I never wanted to live like this. I wanted to be normal so we could live a happy life with just the two of us doing cheesey couple things. But I decided not to let you see what I secretly wanted. I wanted you to see me, just not like this.

We never really made up. Instead, we fell back into place. Two pieces of a puzzle. I guess it was okay. I had your hand back in mine and really what more could I need? I understood you would be put under pressure. Especially in these times. I always loved you. I loved every piece of you. Some days I would miss you even though I knew you were just a few rooms over. All I had to do was get up and knock. I still feared you turning me away. I was also afraid of the days when your beautiful faded smile wasn't there. I'd curse them away best I could but when it comes to you nothing is easily forgotten.

I looked up to you like a goddess. As I'm seeing things through your eyes I realize you were only a child.

A/N: Well I hope that's a little bit better... Alright now I'll go work on Something and the wedding one (oops. spoilers)