This was inspired by the song Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood and another one of my 'one-day one-shots.'
I would say "enjoy" as I normally do, but my aim today is to make you cry.
Jess lay in bed, facing the edge, she curled in on herself, trying to keep warm.
It had taken weeks, but they had finally managed to stay on their own side of the bed all night. They didn't want to see each other the day of the wedding; it was bad luck after all. But they couldn't stand the idea of being parted. Not even for one night. So, they had decided to stay together but not look at each other.
They took a few practice runs so that the night before the wedding they wouldn't accidentally look.
It had been quite amusing the first few nights they tried it. Neither had been able to bear not holding their partner so, within ten minutes of lights out, they would secretly turn in the bed and make their way into the others arms.
Her wedding day; the happiest day of her life.
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen.
Heading to the church, she held onto the letter's he had written to her. She treasured each one, promising a life time together, reassuring her of his all consuming love for her. So beautifully written, such perfect wording, they were cherished, kept in their original envelopes, pristine.
All dressed in white, going to the church that night,
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat.
Six pence in her shoe, something borrowed, something blue.
She looked stunning. A simple white gown, highlighting her best features, her hair curled with silver pins, holding half up. Abby and Emily, dressed in matching pale blue, helped her with her makeup. Only the bare minimal; her fiancé had insisted the night before.
And when the church doors opened up wide.
She put her veil down, trying to hide the tears.
Oh, she just couldn't believe it.
"Do you, Jessica Amelia Parker, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Blushing profusely she smiled, tears in her eyes. "I do."
"And do you take her to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
The moment was so perfect.
He looked so handsome, suit pressed, hair brushed back, the brightest, widest, smile anyone had ever seen on his face.
Taking a hold of her small hand he slipped the gold band onto her finger.
"I do."
She heard the trumpets from the military band.
"Don't go, Becker!"
Jess turned from the door of the ARC vehicle and clung onto his shirt as he reached for a Black Box.
"Jessie, don't worry."
"Please. It's our wedding day."
"Exactly." He leant down and kissed her nose. "It means we have good luck. You go to the ARC, I'll go to the anomaly. I will be fine."
Pressing another soft kiss to her lips, he looked deeply into her eyes, allowing himself to get lost for a couple of moments before backing away again.
"Please?" She whispered softly, gently touching her lips with her fingers.
"I'm not going to let him get hurt, Jess. I promise."
"Thank you."
At Matt's words she smiled small, arms falling back to her sides.
And the flowers fell out of her hands.
Jess smiled as she saw Becker look up at one of the prison security cameras and winked; he knew she was watching. Opening a comm line directly to him she muttered under her breath.
"Why helloooo handsome."
She saw him smirk up at her again. "Hello, Mrs. Becker."
"Afternoon, Mr. Parker." Jess gave her cheeky reply.
"Mr. Parker?" He raised an eyebrow.
"We agreed; If I change my name, you change yours!"
"I thought you meant my first name?"
Jess laughed at his confusion and returned to her job with a parting "I love you."
Baby, why'd you leave me?
A prison guard had been attacked by a creature and died, Jess closed her eyes moments before it happened. She missed the sight of an inmate take the chance to steal the dead man's gun.
Within five minutes the anomaly had closed and the incursion dealt with. The team moved to regroup, Connor making innuendo laden remarks about Becker and Jess wanting to get going.
As inmates milled around, confusion overrunning the place, Becker, making his apologies to Jess, suggested they help the guards.
Why'd you have to go?
Jess screamed as she heard the shot through the comms, as she saw her husband fall to the ground, groaning in pain.
"BECKER? BECKER? MAAAAATTTTTTTTT GET BECKER!"
"'m sorry, Jessie. 'm sorry."
"Stop it! Stop it, Becker!"
He was gasping for breath. "Love. You."
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.
She was numb.
So numb it was unexplainable. A piece of her was missing. A piece so monumental, so important, that every breath hurt. Every swallow pushed at the permanent lump in her throat and every blink of her dry, puffy eyes, reminded her of her loss.
I can't even breathe.
All around her the others started to rebuild their lives, Emily and Matt preparing for their impending wedding, Connor and Abby painting the baby's room. But Jess couldn't be part of it.
It wasn't happening.
She was meant to be out there.
Mrs Becker.
Proudly standing at her husband's side.
It's like I'm looking from a distance,
Standing in the background.
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now.
This can't be happening to me,
This is just a dream.
This wasn't real.
Returning boxes to a van before they had even been unpacked.
Closing the door to the house they never lived in.
To the life they never lived.
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray,
Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt.
Then the congregation all stood up,
And sang the saddest song that she ever heard.
The last time she had entered that place life was…
There wasn't even the right word to describe how filled she had felt.
How the day was everything she could ever dream of.
But returning now...
It couldn't be more different from the time before. How empty she was. How wrong it felt.
Then they handed her a folded up flag.
She never got a change to tell him.
Her plan had been to share the secret that night, just the two of them. She was going to whisper it to him, softly, in his ear, then pull back to see his face light up in joy as she was so sure it would.
It was going to make their day all the more special.
How perfect it would be to tell him of the life that now grew within her.
And she held on to all she had left of him.
Oh, and what could have been.
And then the guards rang one last shot,
And it felt like a bullet in her heart.
"NOOO!"
In front of all her friends and family once more, Jess collapsed on the floor at the sound. The sound that took away the only man she ever loved, the sound that haunted her every waking moment.
Baby why'd you leave me?
Why'd you have to go?
The doctors looked over Jess. It sounded cliché but they had seen it before. It was a broken heart that had cause this new distress.
All was falling from her.
A marriage never made.
A life never lived.
A child never born.
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.
I can't even breathe.
It's like I'm looking from a distance,
Standing in the background,
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now.
Jess shot up in the bed, tears streaming down her face, the lump in her throat making in impossible to swallow. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she placed her eyes on her knees, rocking backwards and forwards.
Telling herself it was okay.
Telling herself that when she looked around, he would be there. Right beside her.
Telling herself.
This can't be happening to me,
This is just a dream.