The Love Fairy's Apprentice
by Cypher DS
"If my life was a Cinderella story…"
It was 9:30 pm at the Nutmeg café; the after-dinner coffee crowd had long since filtered out, leaving a peaceful quiet for the university students who needed caffeine and free wi-fi to complete their assignments. Tiffany and her friends had claimed a corner booth; lattes, pastries and homework papers spread over the table while they swapped gossip and physics questions. The task at hand was for Tiffany's Fables and Mythology English credit: examine a classic fairy tale studied during the term and update it for the modern day, with an accompanying four-page rationale for the changes made. Each friend took their turn pitching revisions, with Audrey butting in first:
"Okay, so the prince is throwing this sick-ass rave and when the stepmom tells her she can't go, Cinderella's like 'fuck this shit' and sneaks out anyway. Oh, and she doesn't lose her shoe at the party; she leaves her panties behind."
Nikki, the youngest of the group, poked her head out from behind the protective bunker of her laptop. "How about, when the stepmother tries to keep Cinderella from going to the ball Cinderella's totally cool with it, because all the people at the party are total douchebags, and she'd rather stay at home and play video games than spend her evening pretending to have fun with those jerks."
"Lame!" Audrey snorted. "Well, what about you, Tiff? We're not writing this crappy report for you!"
"If I wrote a modern day Cinderella …" Tiffany, blonde hair pulled into twin-tails, took a thoughtful sip of her coffee.
"First off, the stepmother wouldn't be wicked, but she would be thoughtless and forgetful – someone you could never rely on. And she'd have a drinking problem. Instead of going to the prince's ball, the stepmother would host the party; in fact, she'd throw parties so often that Cinderella would get frustrated by all the noise, all the strange grown-ups coming and going and acting like total idiots. When her Fairy Godmother appears and offers Cinderella a wish, she'd ask her godmother to help her study hard at school so she could earn a university scholarship and get away from that awful house … and that awful mother."
Tiffany looked from her drink to her friends, both startled by the serious glare that had crept over her face.
"That would be my Cinderella story."
"Holy shit, Tiff – your prof only wants a 100-word summary. I know you're in love with school and all but you don't have to be a try-hard about it."
Tiffany laughed and went along with the jab, thankful that Audrey had deflected the subject. "Well, I think it's important to put your best effort into every assignment; that way, if you do bomb a test you've got good work to cushion the blow, right?"
"Since we're bringing up bombs…" Nikki slid two papers across the table. "I finished going over your physics problems." Tiffany was relieved to see only two or three problems circled for corrections. Audrey had snatched and hidden her paper immediately but even if Tiffany hadn't spied the field of angry circles and adjusted equations her friend's dumbfounded scowl would have told everything.
"Seriously?" the red-head moaned. "Shit, how do you know all this anyway? You're not even going to university!"
"I don't need to go to university to teach myself physics," Nikki retorted, as though linear kinematics were as basic as addition. "And anyway, school is a waste of time."
Audrey raised her latte in a mock toast. "At least we agree on that much." Nikki hesitated, but then returned the gesture with her own spiced cider, and Tiffany enjoyed the small moment of camaraderie between her two very opposite friends.
The alarm on her phone beeped and broke the moment. "Oh my gosh, it's quarter to ten! I've got to get going!"
"Riiight, don't wanna be late and wake up the 'roommate'." Audrey said, adding air quotes as she spoke. "What was her name again?"
"Her name is Kyu. Kyu Jones."
Audrey and Nikki exchanged glances.
"That is such a fake name."
"Yeah! Y'know, we don't give a shit if you wanna keep ditching us," Audrey chimed. "But you don't have to make up an imaginary friend just to get away."
"I am not making this up," Tiffany protested. She really did have a roommate, a brunette with a pixie cut and a mischievous grin constantly plastered over her face.
"Well I've never heard of a chick named 'Kyu' on campus," Audrey snorted.
"She's not a student. Kyu says she's a – oh, what was it? – a relationship therapist. A psychiatrist, I guess." Tiffany sat back down. She knew her friends were right to be skeptical; the more she thought about her roommate, the more trouble she had swallowing the story.
"It's weird … I've asked her where she works, but she never gives me a straight answer. Something about visiting her clients at their homes. … And she's supposed to be a doctor, but she doesn't seem to own any psychiatry books or bring home any work papers." Kyu's half of the room was peculiarly bare – empty bookshelves, a blank office desk, and nothing but clothes hangers dangling in her half of the closet. Whatever possessions she owned were kept in the pink knapsack she always took to work in the morning, leaving the impression that Tiffany truly was alone in her apartment. Of course, that was just the surface …
"One time, while she was out," Tiffany confided, "I needed to borrow some white-out, so I checked her desk drawers." She leaned closer; this was the embarrassing part. "Her desk was crammed full of magazines and dvds. They were all pornography!"
Audrey slapped the table, laughing herself to stitches. "Oh my god, your roommate is a porn addict? Holy shit, what a loser! I mean, you've gotta be seriously ugly or desperate if you need porn to get off! Right, Nikki?"
"Huh? Oh, I guess…" The bluenette tried to act casual but Tiffany caught the blush in her cheek, and she recognized the embarrassed backpedalling on a laptop keyboard her mother had perfected – the quick swivel and click of a mousepad, minimizing and hiding windows before an impressionable young girl could see the filth you were engaged in. Oh Nikki…
"Look you two, just don't go spreading any of this, okay? I don't want people thinking I'm weird because of my roommate's … habits."
"Hey, whatever floats her boat," Audrey laughed. "All I'm saying is that when I wanna see some dick, I don't need to waste my time on crappy pictures in a magazine." Audrey stretched her arms above her head and yawned like a well-pleased kitten. "The guy I picked up last night? We did it three times."
Nikki spat up her drink. "Aw gross, Audrey. Like we really need to hear that shit."
"What? Someone's gotta make up for the stink of virginity at this table."
Tiffany winced as well, but more out of concern for her promiscuous friend. "Audrey, all these guys you … 'hook up' with. You are using protection, right?"
"Protec -?" Audrey's scrunched eyebrows betrayed a rare look of confusion; then her face clamped up and she blasted Tiffany. "What do I look like, a fucking dumbass? You think I'm gonna let myself get knocked up and turned into some bloated-ass baby momma saddled with a whiny-ass little kid?" She crossed her arms indignantly. "Of course I use … protection!"
Nikki smelled a rat. "Uh huh? What condom brand?"
"Shut the fuck up, Nicole. Nobody asked you."
It's not just about pregnancy, Tiffany thought, but she knew when to accept a partial victory. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. It's not easy for children from unplanned, single-mother families." I should know…
"Know what?" Nikki asked.
"Uh, I mean –" Shoot, had she said that aloud? "Uh, well, you know – you meet all sorts of families as a babysitter, right?" Even Audrey found that excuse odd. Oh god, please don't tell me I'm tearing up…
Tiffany tossed her backpack over her shoulder. "I've gotta go. Roommate and all." The 'and all' being how uncomfortably close to home this discussion was becoming. "I'll see you in class tomorrow, Audrey. Have a good night, Nikki!"
Their friend moved so quickly she nearly plowed over a frightened barista in her hurry to get out of the café. The front door chimes jangled wildly and Tiffany disappeared into the night, leaving Audrey and Nikki completely mystified as to the blonde's sudden behaviour.
"What the fuck was that about?"
"I dunno…"
They stared blankly across the table, each waiting for the other to move the conversation forward. No luck – their verbal dance had stumbled clumsily, stopped completely, and the silence descending over the booth was of the awkward variety: the silence of two people realizing they had absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about and nothing to do.
Audrey hated silence.
"So … You wanna get high?"
Nikki shot her a glare she reserved for cockroaches and casual gamers. "Don't you have some math to correct?"
Audrey slumped back in her seat, wondering if it wasn't too late to invent her own fake roommate.
Power-walking through the cool autumn air was a great relief; Tiffany could blame her elevated pace for the hot flush in her cheeks and so long as she ducked her head under the street lights no one could see the stinging wetness in her eyes. God, I sounded so naïve back there.
Every conjured thought of her mysterious roommate served as kindling for that embarrassing heat. No possessions, an ill-defined job, questionable habits – just one of these facts should have set off red warning flags. I let a complete stranger into my life; what is wrong with me?
Kyu had bounded into her life four weeks ago with the start of the fall term and the renewal of her rental contract. Lodgings, like all things in her life, needed to be kept at a fine balance. As much as Tiffany enjoyed campus life she knew the dormitories were no place for a young girl serious about her studies, so she found a small duplex just ten minutes' walk from campus. The older couple who lived on the ground floor were happy to rent their second story to such a responsible and promptly-paying young woman, and Tiffany had enjoyed a wonderful year with her 'adoptive' family.
She'd been geared up to renew her rent when her landowners approached her with a proposal – would she mind splitting the upstairs property with a roommate?
A brunette about her age was in desperate need of a place to stay and she had her sights set on Tiffany's apartment. Miss Jones had even hunted down Tiffany with a proposal: they would split the rent 70-30, with Kyu taking the lion's share of the burden; she would even pay to buy a new bed and furnishings for her 'roomie'.
"I'm pretty generous, aren't I?" the brunette smiled, offering her hand. "Whaddya say, Cheerleader? You and me?"
Tiffany had shook on the deal. She made good money teaching children's swimming lessons and babysitting on the side, but it was always good to have a surplus, considering how expensive textbooks were becoming. The deal was nothing short of miraculous and Kyu was an agreeable roommate – if distant. Like, 'leave first thing in the morning and only come back to sleep' distant. Like, 'we've never really sat down and had a conversation beyond the weather' distant. Like 'oh my god, I don't even have my own roommate's phone number for emergencies and I think she's using a fake name' distant! Audrey and Nikki's taunting made her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Just who was this relentlessly cheerful girl with the impish green eyes, and what persona did she hope to keep up by hiding out with an honours student and her kindly old landowners? What if she's a drug dealer or a hacker or … Tiffany shuddered … someone like Jessica?
Well, she would be keeping a close eye on this "Ms. Jones" from now on; ready to unleash the full weight of the law at the first sign of anything criminal or adult oriented.
With that resolution stamped into her mind, Tiffany could ease her pace and enjoy the starry night sky. Her thoughts swirled around her literature assignment and a new fairy tale came to mind: Goldilocks and the Three Bears. She imagined Little Miss Locks as a college student, enrolling at Glenberry campus and muddling her way into the neighbourhood café, where a bizarre trio of girls would perplex her senses.
The first girl was too hot. Audrey, always dressing in flashy Lolita lace and ribbons, a candy wrapper wardrobe hiding the jawbreaker inside. Always partying late, always stumbling into class with thick sunglasses and the smell of smoke in her hair. One bad party, one rotten hook-up from burning out.
The next girl was too cold. Nikki, her greasy blue hair and baggy sweaters signalling that she had no desire for social interaction. Always sitting behind that laptop and shutting out the world, never venturing a word unless somebody spoke to her. If she disappeared, would anyone but two casual friends realize she was missing?
The last girl was just right, but that observation only ran skin deep. Tiffany was proud of her accomplishments – her 4.2 GPA, her cheerleading, her volunteer work; but tonight's conversation had come dangerously close to unearthing a past she worked hard to keep buried and gone. Images of an older blonde woman flashed to mind. Cinderella was free, but the wicked stepmother carried a long reach. Still, she was relatively blessed when comparing her life against her friends.
If anyone needed a fairy godmother, it's those two, Tiffany reflected. Someone who could find a prince charming that would stabilize those girls from their destructive extremes. She'd made matchmaker offers before – she was on good terms with the football team and had quite a few phone numbers of sweet but "not her type" suitors – but Audrey had laughed her down, while Nikki only hunched further into her computer.
And if they wouldn't take relationship advice from a pretty and popular A-plus student, it would take someone extraordinary to convince them otherwise.
Tiffany found herself on her home street and looked for lights indicating Kyu's presence. Instead, she froze in her tracks. The overhang just outside their bedroom window … a black figure crouched atop it, peering through the glass! Her skin broke out in a terror sweat. A burglar? A peeping tom? She had to call the police, she had to get help, she had to –
Fury gnashed down her eyebrows. No, there was no time! Her landlords, her roommate, they could all be in danger! One hand clutched her cell phone, the other scanned the lawn for small stones. All she could find were dead branches knocked down by last night's storm but that was good enough. Tiffany held the longest at her ear like a javelin and raced towards the house.
"Hey you! Get down from there, you pervert!" Her wooden missile flew short, jangling against roof shingles but it was enough to startle the shadowy intruder. The figure spun around, lost her footing and, uttering a high-pitched cry of fright, skidded off the roof and slammed back-first into the concrete walkway.
The intruder – the woman, Tiffany noted – lay still. Omigod, she's dead! No – wait, a sudden twitch, a low moan. No longer scared for her life but frightened for the intruder's, Tiffany jogged up and shone her smartphone flashlight over the splayed body.
"Ohh…" the shadow moaned. "Mayday, mayday … fairy down…"
"Kyu?"
Tiffany was half-sure. The face, the green eyes were Kyu's, but why was her hair suddenly pink? Why was she wearing such scandalous lingerie, and – most importantly – why were half-shattered insect wings squirming from the girl's back?
There was no time for answers. Kyu howled in pain and clutched her chest, bawling "Oh shit! Shit, it hurts! Aww, it hurts!" When Tiffany only froze in panic, her roommate paused and leveled a disappointed glare.
"This is the part where you call an ambulance, Cheerleader."
Kyu went back to writhing in agony; Tiffany woke and punched in 911, letting her first-aid training guide her automatically.
"Please, I need an ambulance! We have a possible spinal injury. Victim is an adult –" She paused, unsure how to classify the mangled body. Adult female? Adult humanoid lifeform? Adult creature with a propensity for emitting 'bump' at the midnight hour?
Kyu's continued howling settled the matter.
"The victim's my friend. Please … please help her!"