My heart rate continued to increase as I made my way down the familiar street. I wasn't really sure why the idea of walking through the front door of my house made me feel like my stomach was going to jump up my throat, but I couldn't stop the ever-constant churning and the moisture my palms were producing. Would everything have changed? Oh god, what if they didn't remember me?
Dammit, Edward, cut it out, you were gone for eighteen months. They didn't forget about you.
I steeled myself against the nerves, shook my head against all the stupid thoughts racing through my head, and walked up the driveway. It looked different; flowers were now lining the entry path and the previously dirt footpath contained strategically placed stepping stones. Our once brown porch was painted cream, finally matching the shutters - a job I had been promising to do since we moved in two and a half years ago. Our door was red and without glancing out toward the road, I knew our cookie cutter mailbox was now replaced with something trendy and identical in color to the door. A smile crept onto my face, while the cat is away the mouse will play. Silly girl.
Despite the lingering panic in my body, eagerness began to seep in. I was home. My hand easily found the spare key we kept "hidden" and I let myself in. Nothing much had changed inside, although there was a bit of a mess. The joys of single parenthood. Poor Bella. Lights were left on and I followed the trail of toys to our room. There Bella lay on a mountain of seemingly freshly washed blankets and pillows, Anne-Marie tucked under her arm, both of them asleep on the floor. Anne-Marie had grown so much from the last time I saw her. Which wasn't quite a surprise, considering that the last time I saw my daughter she was 2 years old. My Bella didn't look much different, other than the deep, dark circles under her eyes. I felt like shit as I stared at those bags caused from what could only be sheer exhaustion. She had lost weight too. Sighing, I bent down and lifted Anne-Marie into my arms carefully, so as not to jostle her. After I deposited her in my bed, I went back to my Bella. She had stirred slightly whenever I moved Anne-Marie, but didn't completely rouse from sleep, so I lifted her too. Instead of setting her down, I climbed under the down covers with her.
"-ne-Marie?" Bella grumbled, reaching to grab where our daughter lay.
"Shh, baby, just go back to sleep. I've got her."
Bella relaxed back into my arms, asleep again. A smile crawled onto her face for a moment before her entire body stiffened and she leaped into action, pummeling me with her fists and pushing me away. "Hey, hey! Bella, love, stop! It's me, sweet girl!" I held her down, hoping to stop her before she woke Anne-Marie.
"Ed-Edward?"
"Yeah, Bella, it's me."
"Edward!" Suddenly she was attacking me in a completely different way. Her lips were kissing every part of my face she could reach and her tiny body was wrapped so tightly around my own I was having trouble breathing. I responded with equal fervor. My sweet Bella. "I missed you so much!"
"I missed you, too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, never again." I held her tightly. She was in my arms again and it was going to be awhile before I'd let her go, but our moment together didn't last very long; our increased movement and noise had woken Anne-Marie who was at first startled to see a strange man laying between her and her mother, but I watched as recognition dawned on her face.
"Daddy?"
"Hey. sweetheart." Again, I was attacked by hugs and kisses, but this time by my little girl. Bella laughed beside me and moments later I was wrapped up in both of them.
"You leave again?" Big brown eyes looked up at me and I cursed myself for making her go through that.
"No, baby. I'm not leaving again, Anne-Marie." The relief in her eyes was tangible. "Never again, not without you and mommy, okay? I'm going to be around for a long time."
She relaxed into my arms with Bella. It was a great sensation to have both of my girls with me again and I knew I wasn't lying whenever I told Anne-Marie I wouldn't leave again without the two of them. No amount of money was worth being away for that long, especially not at the price of Bella's health. These next few months would be a reprieve for my Bella; her life would be easier, the house would stay cleaner, I could make dinner, and care for Anne-Marie, and she could take a few days off from work. Hell, if she didn't want to, she didn't need to work again for a long while with the money I made off of my last job. I could pack my girls up and we could go far away, wherever we wanted for a long vacation. I bet Bella would love the beach. Maybe somewhere secluded so that we wouldn't have to be bothered by outsiders during some much needed family time.
I wonder if Anne-Marie had gone to a beach yet.
Hours passed of Annie telling me stories and asking an array of questions. Bella spent most of the time quiet, laughing occasionally at one of Anne-Marie's stories. She seemed content enough to be sitting in my lap, wrapped up in my arms.
"Where did you go, Daddy?"
"I was at work fighting bad guys."
"Like Papa Chawlie?"
"Kinda like Papa Charlie." She went silent and a wrinkle formed between her eyes as she gnawed at her lower lip. Just like Bella. And just like with Bella, I was dying to know what was going on inside of my little girl's head.
"Are you just like your Mommy, Anne-Marie?" My daughter nodded fiercely.
"I cook and cwean wiff her and I love to rwead. I wisten to your piano, too." My eyes shot to Bella and I could already see the tears forming. Whenever I left I recorded every single selection of music I knew on the piano, including Bella's Lullaby that I gifted her shortly after we began dating and Anne-Marie's Lullaby that I wrote after she was born. It was the only thing that she'd sleep to on restless nights.
And my Bella never forgot to play them for her.
"I love you more than anything." I kissed my wife, breathing in her scent once again. We lay in silence after that and the next time I looked down Anne-Marie had drifted to sleep, Bella not far behind her. It was still early, only 8:30, but I could imagine both my girls were exhausted judging by the state of the house. I tucked them in and headed downstairs. The time zone change had really messed with my body and instead of trying to sleep I got started on cleaning. Hours passed of me putting things away, wiping surfaces, washing clothes, and sweeping and mopping floors.
It felt nice to be home and performing these mundane chores. There was no rush and no consequences should something be left incomplete. Before long, exhaustion set in and I carried myself to the bathroom, showering and hoping that Bella hadn't moved my clothes around too much. Low and behold, everything was still in the same place it was when I left and I could tell she continued to wash my clothes, so they didn't carry a cloud of dust. I was showered and excited to climb into bed with my wife, holding both her and Anne-Marie close.
"Love you, girls." I murmured drifting off as well.
My nose twitched at the tickling sensation on my face and I drowsily brushed it away.
"Daddy, up."
Eyes shooting open, I drank in the sight of my little girl perched above me, her hair falling over her shoulders in messy ringlets. God, she was beautiful. She patted my cheek and demanded my attention once again. One glance at Bella and I realized she was still asleep, so I swept Anne-Marie in my arms, shushing her giggles as I carried her downstairs. We entered the now clean kitchen and she oohed.
"Daddy, the mice came! Like in Cinderewwa!" I couldn't stop the laughter after that. It had been awhile, but I understood the reference well enough and I'd be damned if I was going to crush my daughter's imagination hours after returning home.
"Mhmm, now what do you say we make breakfast for Mommy? As a surprise?" Anne-Marie's face went serious and her hands went to her hips.
"Oh no, Daddy, Mommy does NOT wike 'prises." Once again I howled with laughter and the look on her three year old face assured me that I was not funny at all. Her hands perched on her hips and she stared at me with pursed lips. "Daddy, this is not a joke."
"I know, sweetheart, but I think it'll be okay this time. And if she doesn't then I'll tell her I did it, okay?" Anne-Marie's expression turned contemplative before she acquiesced and I lifted her in my arms again. I couldn't help kissing her forehead and cuddling her close for a moment before she pulled away, pointing to the stove and commanding me to cook.
She was very knowledgeable in the kitchen which was helpful when I was looking for items that had been moved since I left so long ago. It didn't take long before I had eggs, fruit, toast, and bacon cooked up and ready to go. Anne-Marie looked very proud as she carried the bowl of fruit up the stairs to her mother. We stopped at the door and my daughter called out to me, her voice low and urgent.
"Daddy, don't yell if she puts you in the time-out chair. Then she gets madder."
She was serious and I knew she felt she was doing me a favor in offering this information up. I crouched to her side, lowering the tray of food to the ground before pulling her tight against me.
"You know Daddy missed you every second he was away, right? And I love you so so so much. No matter what I will always love you and Mommy because you two are my sunshine. I'm so sorry I wasn't here and you couldn't see me, but I'm here now. Forever."
"I didn't like it when you were gone." Her voice was small and I choked on a sob in my throat.
Why the hell did that money seem so important to me when I left?
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, baby. Never again." Tears leaked in my eyes and I curled myself around Anne-Marie on the ground in front of me and Bella's bedroom door, breakfast forgotten. There was nothing I could say to excuse the time I spent away from them and when I heard Anne-Marie crying as well, my heart broke further. I had a feeling she didn't quite know what she was crying about, but then again with Bella being her mother, there was a definite chance she had inherited her intuition. She must have also inherited her compassion because when her little hand tapped my cheek and she kissed my nose, just like I did to her often as a baby, my tears ceased.
"I love you, Daddy. You home now."
"I'm home now and forever."
That was enough because she took my hand, leaving me to take the tray and the bowl of fruit as we entered the bedroom. Bella was beautiful. Always. But she was a beautiful mess when she slept. She was a drooler. Her hair was messy and her fair skin left her prone to pillow marks all over her face. I chuckled, placing everything on the bedside table, lifting Anne-Marie on the bed, and leaning down to kiss the shell of her ear.
"Belllaaa, wake up." Not so much as a twitch. I'd forgotten she was a heavy sleeper. "I brought breakfast for you, my love." Nothing. Switching my tactic a bit, I drifted my fingertips along the planes of her face, smiling when her nose scrunched in protest. "My sweet bride, please wake up." She rolled over, precariously close to the end of the bed.
"Nooo, Daddy, you hafta do it like this." Before I could stop her, Anne-Marie had lunged onto Bella, calling to her through her giggles. While the sight was endearing, I had a sinking feeling that this was my wife's wakeup call every day. It wasn't at all conducive to a peaceful awakening or the positive start to the day. It'd be okay once in a while, but definitely not on a daily basis.
"No, no, Anne-Marie, don't do that, you'll hurt Mommy." I pried her away, but it was too late, Bella was awake and I knew her well enough to catch the frustration in her eyes as she looked up. Seconds later the frustration melted away as she noticed me.
"Oh. Oh! I thought I was dreaming." I smiled, kissing her lightly on the lips.
"Afraid not, love, you're stuck with me now." I presented her with breakfast and laughed whenever Anne-Marie launched into her defensive conversation about how I said that we should surprise her and if anyone should have to go to the time-out chair it should be me. Bella grinned along, but as she looked down at her food, she frowned. Insecurity set in, had I done something wrong? Was something as small as breakfast really too big of a surprise for her? I mean, Bella had never really liked surprises, but before I left this was something I did frequently.
"Edward, I can't believe you did this. I should be doing this for you. You came home to a messy house, a disastrous looking wife. A wife that didn't even have the decency to make you breakfast on your first day home at that!" I shushed her and pecked her lips again.
Damn. She was going to be pissed when she saw that I cleaned up a bit.
"Bella, I came home almost three months early. Were you expecting me to walk through that door last night? Besides, I put you in the position of being a single mother. That's hardly fair for you to put yourself in the category of a regular wife. You worked and spent eighteen months raising our girl by yourself. Please, don't get yourself worked up. You look exhausted and I'd much rather come home to a... well lived-in house than a wife that's so dead on her feet she's unable to take care of our girl." She opened her mouth to argue, but Anne-Marie came to the rescue…sort of.
"And mice cleaned the whole house!" With that, we dug into our breakfast before Bella could beat me down for cleaning the house last night.