Bodies Switch 2.0
He woke up with his eyes snapping open, something was wrong he could feel it in every inch of his body. Staring up at the unfamiliar sealing he frowned, this wasn't good at all. Above him was the ceiling of an unfamiliar roof. Slowly sitting up the wrongness continued and as he looked down at his body he could see why.
This wasn't his body.
Standing up he stumbled his way to a door and opened it seeing that it lead to the bathroom he stared at himself in the mirror, He was older probably around twenty with white hair slicked back and short. Staring back at him in the mirror was sharp purple eyes. And he was only in his boxers.
Walking out of the bathroom he looked into the wardrobe and saw dark pants and a black robe with red clouds on them. There were no shirts. At all. "What is going on? Is it a genjutsu? Ah man I'm terrible at those!" Naruto muttered to himself with a whine.
'That is what I am trying to figure out, mortal. And this is not one of those flimsy illusions.' A dark malicious voice responded to him. Naruto jumped and turned around looking for who spoke.
"Who's there?" He called out.
'I am Jashin, God of pain and suffering. And you, mortal, have somehow managed to enter the body of one of my most faithful followers. What did you do?' The voice, Jashin, demanded.
"I didn't do anything-"
'You stupid idiot! Stop speaking out loud before someone hears you and wonders what is going on. I can hear your thoughts.' Jashin snarled interrupting him.
'Right… Um well last thing I remember was getting to my apartment and I fell asleep exhausted from the bell test and than next thing I know I'm waking up in this body!'
Jashin remained silent, 'Take us to where you live, If you came into Hidan's body than he is most likely in your body.'
Naruto nodded, 'Alright. Probably the best place to start anyways. I live in Konoha.' Naruto told Jashin as he grabbed the items Jashin pointed out, a rosary that went around his neck a headband of Yugakure with a slash through it. Putting the two items around his neck he went over and grabbed the weird three pronged scythe that was leaning against the wall next to the bed.
Attaching it he sighed. This was going to be… interesting wasn't it? He thought as he went to the door and opened it walking out into the hall. 'So far so good no one here' He thought cheerfully hoping that no one would come across him that could register him as an imposter.
All of the sudden the ring on his finger started burning, 'Damn this is just bad timing for you, mortal. The leader of the group Hidan is working for is calling a meeting. Go down this corridor and take a left at the end.' Jashin directed him towards the meeting room.
Naruto walked in and saw other people who were all dressed in the black cloaks with red clouds. Standing in what seemed to be the central spot was a guy with orange hair and piercings, 'The leader of the Akatsuki,' Jashin informed him. Next to the leader was a woman with blue hair and what looked to be a paper flower in her hair, 'Konan.' Was her name.
Already in the room when he arrived was two people arguing over something, one with blonde hair that looked like the shades his normal body had the other with red hair. 'The blonde is Deidara, The redhead is Sasori.' Standing on the spot Jashin directed to him and crossing his arms and his face into a glare he observed the other people coming in.
Next walked a pair one was a shark like man with a large sword wrapped in bandages, 'Kisame a former member of the Seven swordsman' And beside him was a dark haired man who looked startling like Sasuke, 'Itachi'
Following soon after them was a man with stitches and a mask on his face with weird green eyes, 'Kakuzu, blasted heathen is your assigned partner in this organization due to both Hidan's body being immortal. He is also the most likely to notice any difference so be careful around him.' Kakuzu stood next to him in the empty spot.
"Good everyone is here." The leader stated. "I have recently called you back from your missions for reports on how your missions are going."
Naruto started running them out as the others reported and when it came to his and Kakuzu's turn it was luckily normal for the stitch guy to speak. Finally after forever it was over and Naruto could now continue on his way back to Konoha. Only problem with that was that He had to work with Kakuzu and he couldn't let the man become suspicious of him.
The man seemed pretty happy heading in that direction with Jashin had said was towards Konoha. So he walked that way without saying anything and Kakuzu had followed. 'We have three days to get to Konoha before the connection starts fading.' Jashin informed him.
Naruto sighed to himself, he couldn't really move faster since apparently Hidan was pretty laid back unless it came to anything related to Jashin, or if it was talking to someone. Which involved cursing, lots and lots of cursing. For the entire first day they walked towards Konoha, which Kakuzu mentioned was where some bounty target was hiding out.
Luckily Kakuzu didn't say anything about stopping as they continued on through the night. Naruto only pausing a couple times to do some prayers for Hidan since that was the only way to get the connection to last the full three days. The duo continued walking like this, it was towards night the second day when Kakuzu picked up the trail of the bounty he was going after. Naruto nodded at him, "I got other fucking things to do rather than fucking chase after this bitch ass guy with you."
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes but nodded, "I will meet you back here in four days."
Naruto just nodded and continued on until he was out of sight of the man before he broke out running. He ran as long as he could but he was still at least another day's travel out by the end of the third day in Hidan's body and the connection to Jashin was now gone. 'Damn it. I hate the fact that I'm going to do this but it needs to be done in order to get back into my own body' Naruto thought to himself as he came across a group of traveling merchants a few hours after Jashin had gone silent.
Letting the body fall into what felt natural he pulled out the scythe and attacked. It wasn't very good but the civilian was so slow he still got nicked. Inwardly pulling a disgusted face he licked the blood, blood shouldn't taste this good, and felt Hidan's body transform. Wincing he stabbed his hand and drew the bloody circle and triangle before stepping into it.
Shoving his conscious to the side for the moment he prepared and with a wince stabbed himself in the arm with the stake, only to nearly gasp and collapse at the pleasure that filled him. And the screams, screams should sound like music?!
Ignoring his instinct that told him he shouldn't do it that it would kill him he brought the stake into his heart gasping as another intense wave of pleasure filled him. 'Yess, very good, child.' Jashin purred dark satisfaction in his voice. 'Kill them all!' Jashin hissed into his mind.
'Sacrifice them to me! Feel the power you can have.' The evil god continued to whisper. Naruto shuddered from the pleasure as he pulled the stake out watching in detached fascination as the body fell to the ground. There were two other Civilians, one was the other remaining bodyguard, not a ninja, and the actual merchant.
His mind clouded and his body, not his Hidan's, was running on instinct as the scythe went out tripping the guy cutting his legs as it wrapped around. Lifting the scythe up again his eyes closed as he licked the blood, so good, and not thinking he stabbed his leg watching as pleasure washed over him the musical screams left the guy. Naruto stabbed himself in the heart once more.
The third guy never stood a chance against him. He laid in that bloody circle for a good half hour in still in the throes of pleasure that the ritual left him in. As he got up and continued on he was still dazed but slowly it was fading away when he realized just what he had done. He had only meant to kill one of them to secure the connection than move on. But it had shocked him at how good it felt.
Jashin chuckled at him.
Naruto shuddered in horror as he continued running to konoha. He needed to get back to his real body… quickly. This wasn't natural it wasn't normal!
The next day he made it to Konoha and snuck in with the dark god's advice. Making his way to his apartment he just hoped that Hidan hadn't caused any trouble. Using the key he had hidden above the door frame he went in getting stabbed in the neck by some Kunai by his own damn body and it hurt. Which considering last time he got hurt it felt good was weirding him out anymore.
Pulling the kunai out of his neck he looked over at his body which had an unnatural looking expression of arrogance and suspicion on it. Also Hidan apparently still was going shirtless. "You must be Hidan." He spoke to his own body trying to ignore the insanity that it must be that he was talking to his own body that he wasn't in control of.
"Of course I fucking am, You must be the fucking pussy who's body i'm inhabiting, fish cake or maelstrom some bullshit name like that."
Jashin chuckled, 'That's Hidan alright no one can impersonate that mouth of his. Tell him I will be figuring out how to fix this mess, and maybe even determined what caused it in the first place.'
Naruto sighed his eye already twitching a bit, "My name is Naruto. And Jashin is trying to figure out how to fix our current situation."
"Its Jashin-sama you motherfuckin heathen." The man bit back, but oddly he seemed to relax a bit. "You did the fucking ritual correct? Otherwise the fucking connection would have faded by now."
Naruto sighed, "Yes I did."
Hidan nodded, "Good maybe your not some worthless heathen then."
"What happened while you were in my body?" Naruto asked a bit scared for the answer.
"When the white haired bitch came around the first day I told the fucker that I was fucking sick and to leave me alone. The asshole thought I was lying for whatever fucking reason but eventually the fucker left. The next day he came again and I once more told him to fuck off due to being ill. Basically I did that the entire fucking time besides for wandering around this lame ass place a bit, jashin-sama had managed to contact me on the first fucking day to let me know he needed me to stay where I was and to be inconspicuous. It was fucking boring."
Naruto groaned, "Please tell me you didn't curse in front of Kakashi-sensei?"
"If that was the white haired asshole than yes I did."
Naruto winced. 'I believe I have the solution.' Jashin announced amusement in his voice.
"Finally" Naruto commented out loud.
'Grab onto your body by the shoulders and Have Hidan do the same.'
Naruto nodded and conveyed the message grabbing his body's shoulders. Hidan did the same. 'Good.' The god stated and Naruto felt a gut wrenching pain as he felt himself being ripped out of Hidan's body and thrusted into his own. And if the groaning was any indication Hidan went through the same experience.
Naruto sat up enough to lean against the nearby wall, "I am so glad that this is over." He muttered.
Hidan ignored him as he instantly started praying, Naruto was pretty sure he was talking with Jashin, a few minutes later the missing nin opened his eyes and smirked at him, "So, how would you like to officially convert."
Naruto gaped before shaking his head, "I'm not really into the whole killing thing, besides even if I was I wouldn't be able to get sacrifices often enough to keep contact with Jashin" At the warning look Hidan sent him he quickly added "-sama" Hidan smirked at him.
Than Hidan sent him a deadpanned look as he flatly said, "Your a Ninja, dumbass."
Naruto sent him a blank look, "So?"
Hidan's eye twitched as a tick mark formed, "ninjas are fucking killers and monsters who slaughter people! Not some dumbass hippies who only want peace and shit." the man paused before he added, "Besides you know that Jashin-sama is real, do you really want to go to hell for not following him?"
Frowning he realized that it was true, unlike Kami he had proof that the evil god was real. Hidan smirked at him, "I was your bitch self for a bit and I saw just how those asswipes looked at you, not one of them would fucking care if you left, you could come join me and we can worship Jashin together, sacrificing those fucking heathens and doing Jashin-sama's work." He said persuasively.
Naruto shook his head, "No, I can't, I just… I have my teams and friends and jiji. Besides... I'm really just not comfortable with killing." He said shuddering in a mixture of horror and leftover pleasure from the memory of the kill.
Hidan rolled his eyes, "Your a fucking ninja your going to have to get used to fucking killing quickly or be killed yourself."
The white haired man stared at him for a moment making Naruto nervous. Than the man nodded and pulled out a spare rosary. "Take this and if you ever fucking change your mine, Jashin-sama tells me that you know what to do." The man said stepping forward and placing the rosary around his neck.
Naruto nodded hesitantly, "Alright, it was… interesting meeting you Hidan, even if you have such a foul mouth."
Hidan smirked at it him. "It wasn't a complete fucking waste of my time meeting you, Naruto, and perhaps next time we meet you won't be a fucking asswipe of a heathen." The man paused as a wicked grin came across his face. "And don't lie to yourself, you must admit that my foul mouth is much more fun that that fucking huge stick in the ass attitude most of the bitches around you seem to have." he said winking towards the end as he turned and left.
Blinking he smiled a bit it definitely was different than the people he dealt with daily and it was refreshing actually. Looking at the clock he saw that he was an hour late to what he guessed was the standard team meeting time Kakashi had told him the night before the whole body switch thing occurred. Putting on his usual jumpsuit he made his way to the training field where hopefully Kakashi wasn't that mad about what Hidan had done in his stead.
A/N The first one was good, but this is better. I reread body switch and decided to rewrite it so hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
~Dead