"It's not that, mother, I'm just..."
Her mother pulled her in a rough embrace, laying her cheek against her daughter's hair. "Aye, I know" she said with a smile. "It's a feeling like your guts are eating you from the inside and you don't know whether you wanna succeed or fail, you just wish it was over."
Eimile laughed and held her mam at arms reach, looking at her. "Was it the same for you?"
The older woman nodded, "Aye, three lonely, hungry days I spent and returned unchanged." A concerned, distant look crossed her mother's face. "Perhaps they didn't push me enough... I wonder what lengths they will go for you." she murmed quietly, more to herself than to her daughter. She shook her head as if to clear it and hugged her daughter once more. "Ah lass, 'nough of an old crone's ramblings, let's get you out to face fate head on, like the Mother's warriors we are."
Returning the fierce hug, Eimile pulled back and playfully smacked her mam's hips. "I don't see any old crone here, I'll hear none 'o that from you!" Laughing, the two woman linked arms and walked out into the sunlight.
They walked slowly down the back paths towards the north side of the park. The early morning dawn cast the world in rosy gold tones, and the air was fresh and clean. The two women were quiet, enjoying the peace of Gaia's gifts. When they reached the border to the park, they stood at the dark entrance to the trees, close and silent. Finally, her mother kissed her and whispered, "Mother's blessing on you, daughter." She touched the younger girl's cheek in farewell and walked back down the trail the way she had come. Eimile was alone now, and the feelings in her belly intensified. She closed her eyes and took a few slow, deep breaths, pushing each one out from as deep as she could to expel the tightness. Raising her head, she walked quickly to meet the kin that were waiting for her.
A few minutes of time brought her around a bend in the dirt path and into the clearing where eight of her tribe waited. They were all dressed in clean white kilts, chests bare to the morning air, even the women. Decorative gold bracelets circled their arms, and a few wore other adornments such as her uncle's bear tooth necklace and her grandmam's large hoop earrings. The stood in a loose semicircle, faces somber as they looked at her. After a moment, her uncle Seamus broke into a grin, "Why the long face, wee girl? Git over here and show the proper respect to your uncle!"
Eimile giggled like the little girl she was slowly growing out of, and ran over to throw her arms around her bear of an uncle. "Who's wee?" she said with a grunt as she tried to punch him in his stout gut, apparently he only looked soft. "I'm taller 'an Finn and he's a year older!"
"That ya' are girlie, but you're still wee'er 'an me and a skinny thing to boot," He ran a large hand down her hair, growing more serious, "Alright lass, you know what we're all here for, let's get ya' started."
She nodded, moving towards the center of their circle, and they closed in around her. Everyone was quiet for long moments and after a time a sense of stillness and waiting washed over the clearing. Eimile closed her eyes and breathed deeply like she was taught. Suddenly a booming female voice called out, "Gaia! Gaia! Morfessa awake! Stone of Fal from the Darkest North, Grant her Wisdom 'ere she goes forth!" A male voice took up the call, "Gaia! Gaia! Esras to light! Spear of Destiny, Eastern Might! Grant her intellect amid the Fight!" Faster now, clockwise round the circle, her uncle's voice, "Gaia! Gaia! Uscias come! Sword of Nuada, Southern Flame! Grant her the Will to bear your burden!" Coming full circle, the last female voice finished the invocation, "Gaia! Gaia! Semias from Sleep! Cauldron of Life from the Western deep! Grant Understanding of Moon and Sea!" As the last word rolled forth, all eight in the circle clapped their hands and it made a sound like cracking thunder.
Her grandmam, eldest of the tribe stepped forth and removed the bag slung round her shoulders and handed it to Emilie. "Three days, child. Walk for one into the forest, find the spring you were shown. Spend the second in meditation, and ere the third morning make your way back here. There are a few supplies in the pack to aid you, but it's not much. You know what's expected of you girl, Mother's blessing on you." The old woman pressed a leathery kiss to her brow and stepped back into place.
Eight voices lifted in a final blessing, "Grant, O Mother thy protection; And in protection, strength; And in strength, understanding; And in understanding, knowledge; And in knowledge, justice; And in justice, the love of it; And in that love, the love of all life; And in that love of all life, the love of Gaia and all goodness." The eight moved as one into a line at Eimile's back opening the way for her deeper into the forest. Slinging the pack on her back, she set off. Once out of earshot, those left behind spoke. "Is this the time we go too far?" "We didn't go far enough before and it cost us the shining flame that was her mother, Eimile is too valuable not to do all that we can, she hears them in her dreams." "Yet, what if she breaks? What if the end doesn't justify the means?" The last voice sighed and all moved away.
Emilie had been almost two full days in the woods, she had found the stream aright, and settled down. Now, twilight was closing in and she was hungry and alone. She sat on the ground near the water, her legs crossed beneath her. Closing her eyes, she began again the meditation chants. Her breathing was low and rhythmic, and combined with hunger the chants made her feel light headed, as if she might rise up out of her body. "They come!" "Danger, flee!" The voices of her dreams arose suddenly without warning, and startled her eyes flew open. Heart pounding, she looked around her campsite. Nothing. "Go!" The voices were insistent, but there was no danger that she could see. Then three men stepped into vew, wearing hunting camo and rifles on their backs. Stunned she didn't move. "Hello pretty," one of them said, his accent unfamiliar. She didn't like the way they looked her, at a loss for words she blurted out "You can't hunt here this is a National Park." All three laughed like it was a grand joke, "We weren't hunting the animals little girl."
Eimile decided to run. Getting her feet under her she made a dash for the path, but before she could get far, one of them grabbed her around the waist. "Where are you going pretty? We've been looking for you." She could feel his hot breath on her neck as he pressed himself to her backside. Panic flared and she brought her foot back hard on his knee. "Fuck!" he swore and loosened his hold, but now the other two had her arms and were forcing her down onto her back. She screamed her fear and rage at the men but it did no good. The one she had kicked was kneeling in front of her, fumbling at his pants. "Stupid bitch, I'll make it hurt for that stunt." Her sight faded into a red haze of anger, the feelings took over her mind leaving room for nothing else. Her world became an incomprehensible mix of emotion, pain and the ever present redness. It washed over her and she could taste it , coppery on her tongue. She drained herself of all the physical rage, ripping and tearing at everything around her, savoring the freedom. When it was spent, she fell senseless the ground.
Her family found her there, and Uncle Seamus lifted her in gentle arms. "Ah lass, what've we done?" He brushed her hair back from her face and turned to the others. "Look long and hard. This is what we do in Gaia's name." Having said his peace he carried her towards home. A different voice sighed, "The tourists will be missed soon. This will need to be cleaned up and reports made to local authorities. Mother, I hope this was your will." The people gathered spoke a little longer and moved off to deal with the aftermath of their plans.