By the will of Eru or some mystical force, Kili survived.
Tauriel was so happy she cried tears of sparkles. Two days later a huge wedding was held. Gandalf was the priest. Bilbo was the ring-dude. And Legolas was the flower girl. Tauriel walked along the aisle with her adoptive father/king/boss whom she defied earlier for some stupid reason - 'twu luv'. Kili stood in awe of his soon-to-be bride.
She looked so radiant with hair as red as fake carrots, ears as large as Dumbo's, and wearing a wedding dress made of butterflies. When Tauriel reached the altar, she and Kili could not look away from each other...well Tauriel had to look down on her lover. The priest/Gandalf gave a loud ehem. 'Who so objects this unnatural union between this dwarf and elf speak now or forever hold your peace,' Gandalf boomed as he watched the crowd.
'I object! ' shouted a gruff voice. The crowd gasped. It was Thorin! He marched towards Kili and knocked him unconscious. He glared at Tauriel. Gandalf gave a cough. 'Thorin. How is it possible that you're alive?' Thorin rolled his eyes. 'That's because I'm not you meddling coot. I was sent by the Valar to prevent this monstrosity of a wedding. There was no way I would allow my idiot nephew to marry that kind of elf.' Thorin threw Kili over his shoulder and walked into the sunset, never to be seen again.
Tauriel fell to her knees and cried tears of mascara. Legolas gave a 'eww' sound before walking away. Thranduil fired his useless captain of the guard and pranced of with his elk. 'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!' Wailed Tauriel. It sounded like orcs mating. 'KeeeeeeeeeeeLeeeeeeeeee! Hooooow cooooould thisssss beeee? Twuuuuu luuuuuv wasssss suppooose toooooo conqueeeeer deeeeeath!' Gandalf chuckled. 'Of course it wasn't true love. You two only knew each other for like three days.' Tauriel ignored him. 'If this is love I do not want it'. Bilbo slapped her. 'It was never love you dumb b****!' Tauriel walks to a random cliff. 'Why does it hurt so much!' She yelled to the winds. On top of another mountain was Thranduil and his elk. 'Because it WASN'T real!' He yelled back while giving Tauriel the middle finger. Tauriel cried harder until snot was dripping from her holes. She did not notice Gollum behind her until he pounced unto her and ate her alive, thus saving Middle Earth by ending the reign of the Mary Sue.