A/N: Hey so before you begin, you should know that concerning the chronology of this fic, every six chapters will take place during a season of the year told from the first person perspective of these six main characters each so some events might be repeated from a different perspective and what not and not necessarily happening in order, but nonetheless I hope it doesn't get too confusing for anyone.

Special thanks to my betas Lady Mayflower and TEP Redux!

I do not own South Park, all rights reserved to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

I. Kyle- Fall

In which Kyle begins things with a disastrous Justice League Halloween.

If anyone were to ask about what kind of town South Park, Colorado is, most would probably describe it as being "a quaint little mountain town" and or "another one of those drive-through hick towns." But that would only be the case if one never actually stayed in South Park for at least a week.

Now if someone were to ask a resident of South Park to describe it, I promise you the answer would be... less than conventional, to put it lightly.

I would describe it this way: if there were a word in existence that perfectly embodied "absolutely insane" and "completely fucked up", then that one word would be my answer.

I can only guess when it all started. Maybe it was when my friends and I played that rueful game of "Fireman" back in kindergarten or that disastrous visit from Kathy Lee Gifford...

Let's just say my friends and I have had some bizarre misadventures over the years. Those misadventures took place during our time in late elementary and early middle school. But that was a while ago; we're in high school now. For better or for worse, things are going to start changing around here.

For me, ninth grade was the beginning of my plan to finally get out of South Park.

Step One: Sign up for as many high level classes as possible. Right now, my only options were Advanced Composition and Trigonometry, so I filled up my schedule with Biology, Geography, and Health with everyone else. Oh, and Spanish. I figured it would have more everyday relevance than French.

Step Two: Sign up for as many extracurriculars as I can. It looks really good to the admissions committees. I'm already on the basketball team, plus Jew Scouts, and I'm on track to make National Honor Society by the end of next year. If I also make the Academic Decathlon team, and join Key Club with Stan, that'll be five…. Five sounds good enough.

Step Three: Don't get sick and don't get into trouble. In elementary and middle school, those sorts of things didn't matter too much, but I knew high school was a different story. Too many sick days would put me behind and any possible trouble could hurt my chances of getting into a school outside of Park County, much less out of the state.

Plans only take you so far, though. Unfortunately for me, life seems to enjoy screwing with me and my friends.

It was late October, and Clyde's parents were out of town the weekend of Halloween. Naturally, the whole grade was invited to his Halloween party. When we heard there would be prizes for the costume contests, the four of us wanted in—there was no way we were going to miss out on an opportunity to win something. We were hanging around Stan's room coming up with ideas for the group costume. Of course, it didn't take too long to agree on going as the Justice League—the annoying part was figuring out who was going as which member of the Justice League.

"I think we should just pick out our costumes, then get two more people to fill whatever costumes are left," Kenny suggested.

"Oh, yeah, 'cause everyone will want to be Aquaman and Wonder Woman," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Easy," Cartman scoffed. "We just make Kahl be Aquaman, get Stan's bitch girlfriend to be Wonder Woman, and then pay someone else to fill in whatever spot we have left."

"Why do I have to be Aquaman?! Why can't you be Aquaman?"

"'Cause nobody wants to be that pussy-ass Aquaman, you fuckin' daywalker!"

"GUYS!" We all saw Stan sitting cross-legged on his bed, red with frustration. "If nobody wants the stupid costume, let's just get Butters to be Aquaman."

Cartman and I looked at each other. Okay, yeah, it was a stupid fight to pick, but at least neither of us had to be Aquaman. Though to be fair, I think Cartman was more excited about taking advantage of that assignment to humiliate Butters.

Typical.

"So are you going to ask Wendy to be Wonder Woman?" I asked Stan.

"What if I want to be Wonder Woman?" Kenny asked.

"Kenny, you're not being Wonder Woman," Stan said bluntly, pulling out his phone.

He dialed up one of his contacts and waited out the ringing. I don't think Stan ever realized how loud he keeps his phone volume. Despite not being on speaker, we all heard that familiar feminine "Hi Stan!" on the other line.

"Hey Wendy! What's up?"

"Oh, I was actually just about to call you! I was at Bebe's talking about the Halloween party, and instead of being the Powerpuff Girls with Red, she decided that we're being Disney princesses, and she wants me to be Snow White just because I look the part! Can you believe that? I mean, Bebe's my best friend, and I love her to death, but can you imagine? Me, dressing up as some lazy whore of a princess that just lays around and waits to get rescued? Snow White is everything wrong with the Disney princess stereotype! She symbolizes the damsel in distress movement that has been holding back Hollywood for decades! You would think Bebe would know me better than that by now, right?"

I saw Stan trying so hard not to stare off into space. Wendy is a good person, don't get me wrong, but she does have a hard time realizing when other people need to talk at times. She's just like Cartman—she gets wrapped up in her own words and forgets other people are right there and… wait, did I just compare my super best friend's girlfriend to my archrival?

"Right." Stan nervously gulped before asking, "Hey, so what do you think about Wonder Woman?"

"She's a feminist superhero icon. Look Stan, what does this have to do with my Bebe problems?"

Stan's eyes were frantically darting around the room. I went up to him and whispered, "Dude, just ask her now before you throw up on your bed."

"Yeah don't be a fucking pussy, Stan," Cartman said a little louder than he should have.

"Cartman, I swear to Abraham I'll-!"

"WendytheguysandIaregoingastheJusticeLeaguetoClyde'spartyandwewantedtoknowifyoucouldbeWonderWoman!" Stan shouted, the other hand clutching his blanket.

"Sure."

"I mean, I understand if you don't want to… wait what?"

I heard some light laughter from the other end followed by, "Yes Stan, I'll be Wonder Woman. I'll order the costume later tonight. And don't forget our movie date tomorrow!"

"Don't worry Wendy, I remember." None of us believed him; Wendy had to remind him about dates twice a day. Hopefully, he had a better time memorizing the capitals of African countries for Geography.

It was Friday. The party was tonight, so Stan and I decided to hang out at my house. He had his Superman costume in his backpack, while my Flash costume was laid out upstairs in my room. As soon as we got inside, we threw our bags by the door, and Stan took a seat on the couch while I rummaged through my video-game cabinet.

"Wanna play a few rounds of Call of Duty?" I asked.

"Sure Ky, but... can I ask you something?"

"Yeah dude, what's up?"

"Do you think things between Wendy and I are okay?"

While my Xbox warmed up, I turned around to look at Stan. "I guess so? Why wouldn't they be?"

"We just got to third base."

I wasn't so sure why I had to know that but I had a feeling there was a point. "And?"

"Clyde, Token, Jimmy, and some of the guys on the team went all the way with their girlfriends already!"

Oh.

I got up and sat down beside Stan.

"Look, just because you and Wendy aren't there yet doesn't mean your relationship has problems. If anything, I think it's good you two are taking things the way you are. And what guys on the team? Because if Fat Ass is one of them, I feel absolutely sorry for whoever the other person was," I said, hoping to bring something akin to a smile to Stan's face.

A half-grin formed as he shook his head and chuckled. "Fuck no! I was talking about the older players. And to be fair, I don't think we have to worry too much about losing our virginity before Cartman."

That alone made me laugh, and Stan joined in shortly afterwards. As we grabbed our controllers and started picking perks, I couldn't help but ask, "Dude, just wondering, how did third base even happen with Wendy? She seems like such a 'wait until marriage' type."

"Dude, I thought the same thing!" Stan said, leaning in close like he was about to tell me some groundbreaking secret. "But my parents got in a fight, so my dad gave me their tickets to go see this dumb musical. It was so weird, but he kept telling me, 'no, no, it's worth it, I promise!' So we went, and then we got back to my place and went up to my room and…"

My eyes were probably looking like saucers. My brain wasn't one hundred percent finished processing when I said, "So wait. This happened because you took her to a freaking musical?" From the looks of it, even Stan was still trying to completely absorb what had transpired between him and Wendy.

"Yeah! But don't say anything to Wendy. She'd be pissed."

"Stan, if she does find out, just pray you don't end up like Cartman when he made fun of breast cancer in fourth grade."

"If we lose to Craig and his gang, then you're gonna get it, Kahl."

"How would it be my fault if we lose?"

"'Cause the Flash isn't Jewish!"

"What does my religion have to do with being the Flash for Halloween?!"

"Hey fellas!" For once I was grateful for Butters' interruption, as we expected, he didn't seem bothered by wearing that ridiculous costume with the seahorse built in. Wendy did punch Stan in the arm, though, and then proceeded to lecture us about taking advantage of people. Of course, that didn't last long when Cartman decided to "boo" her.

"What's up?" I asked Butters. Cartman and I were sitting down in the main living room on our phones since Kenny was assumedly off to hook up with one of the Disney Princess girls and Stan disappeared with Wendy upstairs. I think it's safe to assume that their date to see Wicked had something to do with their alone time.

"Nothing much, just talking to Bebe and Nichole about dance." I shook my head for a moment before realizing what Butters had said. Butters isn't a bad guy, but it's talking about things like the dance team that make him Cartman's butt monkey.

As soon as the word 'dance' came out, Cartman jumped into the taunting full-force. I didn't want to listen to it, so I got up to get a drink from the cooler. I saw Stan talking to Craig, who was in full-blown White Walker getup. Once Stan and I made eye contact, he came over to speak with me.

"Hey man, sorry I disappeared. I was with Wendy."

"It's cool. Cartman didn't even start threatening me until Craig's White Walker pack walked up to the sign-up sheet."

"Sorry I left you to deal with him, dude,"

Taking a beer from the cooler, I said, "It's okay, I just walked away as soon as Butters joined us."

Stan chuckled, but then his blue eyes went blank, as if he remembered something important. Putting down his beer, Stan checked for anyone else nearby and said, "Actually, let's go out back for a second."

Knowing Stan, it was clear that something not too good was about to happen... Or had happened.

"Is this something I should know about?"

Stan opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a violent crash sound. Suddenly the only other sounds were that of "Uptown Funk" serving as an accompaniment to:

"You can't tell me what to do, ho!"

"Cartman, you know very well that I'm the exact opposite of a ho! And I'm sorry but we're stuck together for this so you might as well grow a pair!"

"Newsflash, Windy, I have a pair! So why don't you go make me a sandwich while I work on our case?"

Stan and I moved from the kitchen, but decided to stay behind a few people as we saw our Justice League fall apart. Though to be fair, I'm not that surprised by the scene, especially seeing how Wendy is the anti-Cartman and Cartman is, in turn, the anti-Wendy.

It looked like Cartman had won, but before he could start gloating, she turned to him with a cocky smile of her own and said, "Actually, I think it would benefit the Green Lantern here to be able to go and make the sandwich himself. After all, every bit of exercise counts." Despite being petite in size, Wendy somehow managed to make Cartman shrink back, almost surrendering to the power of her words.

One of these days, I'm gonna ask her how she does that...

I felt Stan grab my hand. Right, he wanted to go outside. So while the fight continued inside, he and I ducked into Clyde's side-yard. It was quiet: the house muffled any of the noises inside. It was just the two of us.

"So I saw Kenny for a bit before he went into a room with Red."

"Did he give you some of his weed?"

"No. I really do think he's cutting back this time."

Kenny mentioned that he wanted to shut down his old middle school weed trade. Just a few months ago, there was a big fight between his dad and his older brother, and it put his little sister in the hospital. He said he wanted to shut it down for her sake. Being an older sibling myself, I know where he's coming from.

"It's good he's thinking about his sister. Those two really need to get the hell out of that house."

Stan moved closer, and the two of us just looked at the night sky. Best friends need to fill the air with conversation; they can't just live on background noise. Being super best friends however, a little background noise was nice once in a while, as long as the other was there.

I eventually broke the silence, though. "Think we should go back inside? They might be announcing the winners."

Stan let out a sigh, looking at his feet. I could tell he wasn't eager to go back inside and deal with Wendy's attitude post-Cartman-fight. So I gave him a shove to get his attention and offered, "If you'd rather not deal with Wendy after this, you know you're always welcome to crash at my place."

Stan lifted his head to face me again with a small grin. "Yeah. Thanks, Kyle, you're the best."

Just as we were about to head inside, a glass-breaking scream disrupted the quiet night. "The hell was that?!" Stan cried.

My eyes darted all over the place, but I didn't see where it could have come from. "I don't know! It sounded like the front of the house. Let's go check it out!"

We ran around to the front of the house, where the rest of the party was filing out to join us. We saw Bebe in her Cinderella gown gasping for air, almost like she was drowning, pointing a shaky finger at the ground. We even saw Wendy and Cartman come outside, as if completely forgetting their fight…though their black eyes would probably remind them later.

Stan and I came close enough and saw what had Bebe freaked out about: Kenny's body covered in slashes and gashes, with rats scampering around him.

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!"

I then saw Wendy tap Stan on the shoulder, her mouth open as though unsure what to say for a few moments. He took both her hands and said, "I'm so sorry you had to see that-"

"Stan, you and Kyle should see this."

Stan and I shared a shrug as I followed him and Wendy to the front wall of the house where Butters appeared to be muttering something about being "grounded", and Cartman just stood there, mouth hanging open, eyes barely blinking.

After hearing some things about "stupid Harry Potter trick," "go home," and "clean up," all of the background noise faded into silence. Someone had taped a piece of paper to a wall with five names on it: Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Butters Stotch, and Kenny McCormick, the last of which was scratched out. And next to that was a message, written in what we had to assume was Kenny's blood:

SM, KB, EC, BS, KM

u cant hide frum me

its paybak tym