This story is inspired by The Civil Wars' song "Dust to Dust". Hope you'll find the time to listen to it, it's really a nice song.
Anyway, I came up with this story upon watching Violet Evergarden and thought, she has almost the same wish or goal with C.C. and that they lived through sad circumstances. (I just want to give them the biggest hug) Then, 'Dust to Dust' came in shuffle and it quickly reminds me of them.
I hope you'll like this cross-over.
The heavy sound of the friction between the metal wheels of the train and the rusty rail echoes in the middle of the silent night, an unwelcomed anomaly among the sleepy songs of the crickets, a loud passerby that leaves whispers among the trees.
Violet Evergarden quietly watches the sceneries before her, the moon lending its light for her eyes to see through the night. Her mind won't let her sleep peacefully – a dark blank slate that is stubbornly being filled by what the Major said to her before the battle in Intens.
"You have emotions. You have a heart just like me!"
She didn't understand back then what the Major meant and she still doesn't understand now, how she, a weapon of war, the soldier maiden of Leidenschaftlich, is capable of having emotions when every bullet she fired back then felt like pieces of her almost nonexistent humanity leaving her body. How every punch and stab she made didn't leave her remorseful but kept her going and going and going because that's an order for her to fulfill.
An order, that was all she knew.
Every move she made was based from an order. The words she spoke were only responses and never conversation starters. She wasn't able to make friends. She didn't understand the concept of friendship – foreign, unimaginable, impossible. But despite this, she had the Major and that was all that matters.
But he is gone now.
She holds the emerald brooch that is now her only connection with the Major.
She diverts her thoughts to her next client whose place she is currently going to. Lt. Col. Hodgins had looked hesitant and wary when he informed her about this particular customer, as if he would be sending her to an unknown battle with a strange enemy.
"Is there a problem with the client, Lieutenant?" she had asked.
Lt. Col. Hodgins shook his head but the wary look never left his face. "Nothing, I just feel something odd about this request. Call it intuition, but this gives me a different feeling. Just be careful out there, Violet. The address indicated here is in the middle of a forest."
She had gone to much more dangerous places than in the middle of the forest. She could easily handle this.
"I understand."
And here she is, travelling in the middle of the night, riding an empty train towards a secluded forest in the south of France. To meet her client with only initials as their signature.
Violet takes out from her pocket the request. She studies the words written with neat cursive writing, trying to decipher if there is a hidden meaning behind them, trying to find out what made Lt. Col. Hodgins uncomfortable. But she couldn't find any. These are just normal words to her – normal words with literal meaning requesting for an Auto-Memoir Doll.
"You have emotions. You have a heart just like me!"
Major, she still cannot understand.
After a little trekking from the train station and an hour worth of walking on the uneven ground of the forest, she finally reaches a small wooden cabin sitting amongst the tall trees. Carefully making her way to the cabin so as not to further disturb the lulling peace in the forest, a movement catches her attention and makes her stop on her tracks. She is still too far away to be noticed and with the darkness concealing her presence, she can freely observe without other people knowing she's there.
The door opens and what looks like a young man comes out. He turns around and faces the entrance as if he is talking to someone.
"I'll be back again tomorrow," Violet hears him say in a gentle tone.
"How many times do I have to tell you that it's dangerous for you to be going here," replies a feminine voice from inside the cabin.
"For you, nothing is dangerous enough."
She hears a soft sigh then the words, "Go now. Don't let anyone see that you came from here."
"Until tomorrow, then."
There's a long pause as if someone is in deep thought, then in a resigned voice the woman speaks.
"Alright, until tomorrow."
When the man has left and the door has closed, Violet comes out of her hiding and continues to make her way to the cabin. After three knocks, the door opens revealing a young woman, no, a girl who seems to be only a couple of years older than her.
But under the milky white light of the full moon, this girl, with her silky emerald hair that reaches her waist, passive eyes of gold that seemed to have witnessed events worth more than her lifetime, glows with enchanting maturity and otherworldliness that made her look like she doesn't belong to this world nor this lifetime.
"Good evening, Miss. I'm here for Miss C.C.," Violet greets her.
"You are already speaking to her," the girl says.
Violet bows slightly as respect. "It is nice to meet you." Grabbing the edges of her skirt and bending her knees, Violet announces, "Representing the Auto Memoir Doll service, I am Violet Evergarden."
"I've been waiting for you. Come in."
Violet follows Miss C.C. into the cabin and notices how the cabin is just what it is. There's a room that both works as the dining area and the receiving area – a window at the middle of the wall where you can see the trees beyond and a wooden table on the left accompanied by two wooden chairs.
"That will be your room," Miss C.C. points at a door on the opposite of the table. "And that is mine," she points at the door near the table. "I'll leave you to rest for tonight. It must have been a long journey. I apologize that this all that I can offer to you."
Violet faces her client after looking around her surroundings. "If a client requests it, we shall go anywhere," she automatically responds.
Miss C.C. studies her with unreadable eyes in which Violet stares back with her blank ones. After some seconds, the other girl utters, "Well then, have a good night, Violet."
"Good night, Miss C.C."
She is just a child.
She didn't expect that they will be sending her a child.
She expected a grown-woman who has enough experience from the world to write her letter and send the message of her words accurately. Just like that woman, Cattleya Baudelaire, who is the most popular doll of CH Postal Company.
But the company sent her a child.
C.C. studies the face of the sleeping doll, so tranquil, so quiet, so innocent. But her eyes upon looking at them under the moonlight... Her cerulean eyes are glowing with sadness.
So she wonders what tragedies a child as young as her could have witnessed to possess such melancholic eyes. But she should not wonder that much, right? If she herself, at a very young age had been exposed to the cruelty and monstrosity of people through slavery, and to the indifference and coldness of immortality through the passing of time.
Perhaps, she is wrong. Perhaps, she isn't wondering.
Perhaps, what she really feels is recognition of her own loneliness in the eyes of others. Recognition that only those who have borne and carried the cross of deep suffering are capable to do to others like them.
But the difference is, C.C. is very much aware of the sufferings she had had and she will have that she has grown numb with everything awaits her in the future, but this girl, Violet she said her name is, isn't aware of her own sufferings. She carries the loneliness so well in her eyes without knowing what loneliness is.
So C.C. thinks, what a girl like her would wish if she's given the power of the kings?
The loud sound of a crashing door wakes Violet up from her sleep and quickly sets her to alert, running to the main room, ready to attack whoever the invader is only to find her customer leaning against the door, panting. Miss C.C. looks up at her.
"Please close the windows," she says calmly.
After Violet closed the windows in the main room and in their bedrooms, she returns to her client and asks, "Who are after you, Miss C.C.? Are you being attacked?"
The older girl shakes her head and then goes to sit on one of the chairs by the table. "Not yet. But it's better to be one step ahead of them. Violet," staring seriously at Violet, she says, "The villagers shouldn't know the location of this cabin. I'm not forbidding you from going outside, but you need to make sure that you are not being followed."
"I understand."
"Well, you can eat your breakfast first and after that we can start on writing the letter."
Her client is a woman of few words, Violet observes. During the span of time they are working on the letter, Miss C.C. would occasionally pause and look out the window, beyond the blooming trees as if she is looking for something or someone out there. As if she is not seeing trees but a whole different place where she completely loses her self momentarily, forgetting that Violet is with her.
That she is alone. She seems to be used to being alone.
And all Violet can think of is, she does not belong here. She doesn't belong anywhere.
"Violet, what happened to your hands?"
"I lost my arms during the war in Intens."
Miss C.C. nods and turns to her. "I see… Can I touch them?"
To say that she is taken aback by her request is an understatement. This is the first time that someone asks to touch her mechanical hands. No one, even the other dolls, are curious enough to feel the metal and mechanism of her hands. She doesn't know what to feel.
"I… Yes, you can."
Curious, she watches the lady's slender hands move over hers, slowly and gently as if touching a sacred relic that could easily break under pressure. This is one more thing she notices about her, every move she makes is done in a gentle manner. Sometimes, too gentle for this world.
"I knew someone who had almost the same arm as yours."
"Someone… the same as me?"
The green-haired nods. "Renya… His name is Renya."
"Did he lose it during the war, too?"
The girl pauses and places her own hands on her lap. "No. It was my fault. I put a curse on him."
"A curse?"
A smile. "Violet, if you have a wish that you want to be granted, what would it be?"
"A wish… I want to be granted." The Major's face instantly flashes on her mind.
"You don't have to answer that. Your heart knows what it always desire and every action you make, be it consciously or unconsciously is being led by that desire. In the case of Renya, I tried to help him realize his wish but something went wrong and that wish became a curse."
"Then, Miss C.C., if I'm not being rude, I would like to ask what your wish is," Violet asks while staring at the unfinished letter infront of her.
Miss C.C. puts her arm on the table and rests her chin on her hand. A playful smile appears on her face. "My wish, huh? Hey, Violet, have you ever felt genuine love?"
"I… I don't understand the concept of 'love' but I want to know what 'I love you' means," the blonde answers honestly.
At this, Miss C.C.'s eyes slightly widens, obviously surprised by her answer, "You – "
"I already knocked twice but you didn't hear me so I just entered since the door is open."
Both girls turn to the voice and see a young man with ebony hair and amethyst eyes standing infront of the doorway, looking confused and cautious by the sight of them. He's wearing farmer clothes and is holding a wide brimmed hat on his right hand.
It's the man from last night, Violet thought. She recognizes him from his posture and voice.
The owner of the cabin stands and addresses the newcomer. "You're early."
"I am not. You must have been so busy that you didn't notice the time." He looks at Violet and says, "Who is she?"
"She is my guest. Do not worry, she won't tell that you are here. Right, Violet?"
Violet bows and greets him with deep courtesy. "Your secret is safe with me, Your Highness… Prince of France."
"Now, that's settled. Violet, we are done for today. I am sorry to ask this of you but can you get a package for me at the post office in town? It will be under the name, 'Sara Devon'. Can you do that for me, please?"
Violet studies the two figures before her. The Prince has already dismissed her and is looking at Miss C.C. with soft eyes. His fingers are already playing with the tips of her emerald hair while Miss C.C. who is ignoring him or is trying to ignore him, is looking at her meaningfully.
Oddly, Violet gets her message. "I can do that. And I assure that I will not be followed back here."
"Are you certain that you can trust her?"
C.C. sighs. This has been the third time the Prince had asked her. "Yes, I am very much certain so you need to untwist your underpants now."
"C.C.!" the Prince gasps while blushing. C.C. on the other hand, watches him with mild amusement. Ah, the boy blushes so easily. She cannot count anymore how many times he had blushed because of her teasing. Clearing his throat, he says seriously, "Anyway, have you thought about my proposal?"
This brings a frown on C.C.'s face. His proposal. There's nothing to think about his proposal. His proposal is both reckless and stupid. He will endanger not only his inheritance to the throne, but also his reputation. "My answer is no."
"C.C…."
"What they say is true. I am a Witch, a hell-bringer. I cause tragedy to the people around me. I bring loneliness and sufferings to the people who cared for me. I do not grant wishes, I cast curses. You, of all people should know about that."
The Prince clenches his fists, his eyes furious, and visible anger runs through him making his body shake. "First of all, you are not a hell-bringer. Second, it is a contract between me and you, not a curse, and third, this Geass you've given me has helped me become a better prince worthy of the throne."
"And you're going to throw that away just because of a Witch?" C.C. asks unemotionally.
"The people are asking you to be burned at stake! I cannot just sit there and watch while they are cheering for your death."
"I will not really die."
"I don't care!" C.C. watches as the young man before her burn with intense emotion. He looks so alive, so passionate. He is beautiful, she thought. So, so beautiful. A strange stirring in her chest makes it hard for her to breathe.
"I don't care," the Prince repeats silently. "I don't want to watch you suffer. I don't want to see you hurt. You've suffered enough… more than enough."
She cannot take this anymore. She doesn't need to feel these strange emotions. She had lived for so long and will be living for who knows how long and she does not need this nuisance of emotions that will only attach her to a certain painful memory. So she turns away from him and looks at the scenery beyond the window.
"Are you inlove with me?"
No answer.
"I told you not to fall inlove with me. But… are you really sure that you are inlove with me? Or you're just inlove with the idea of loving me. Which is it? Are these your real emotions?"
"What are you talking about?"
"If word comes out that the Prince influenced the decision of the court to take back the punishment and to let the Witch go, the people's trust and admiration for you would be destroyed. The nobles who have been waiting for you to make a single mistake will take it as an opportunity to drag your name down the mud for the sake of power. And the King, your beloved father, who finally gives the attention that you've been wanting for so long will definite – "
"I said I don't care!"
His shout makes C.C. turn back to him and there she sees the tears coming out of his eyes, flowing down his cheeks freely, uncontrollably. His amethyst eyes, which are always the first ones she sees and recognizes whenever she finally meet him in another lifetime, in another place, are now shining with anguish and it hurts her so bad to see them like that. "L – "
"C.C. I'm afraid…" he helplessly says. "I'm afraid, because I know by the time your body has completely healed from the punishment, I know… you're going to…"
"Come here."
Without any hesitation, the prince falls into her arms and pours his fears and frustrations onto her chest. His arms wrapped around her small waist so tightly, afraid that she would disappear into thin air. Her hand moves up and down his back, trying to provide comfort and peace. This is familiar to her. She has done this with him so many times before – when he was a scholar, when he was a priest, when he was a soldier, and with all his past identities from different lifetimes. He is always the passionate one between them. So determined, so charismatic. And so beautiful, she thought again.
He doesn't remember her, but she never forgets him.
And in this lifetime, he is the first Prince of France, the heir to the throne of the greatest King the country has ever had.
"Silly boy. You are always this emotional," she says with a smile.
"Don't mock me." Ah, the stability in his voice has come back. "I haven't even fulfilled your wish."
"It's alright. We can always make a contract again… and again, and again. How many contracts do you want to have with me my prince?"
The prince buries his face on her neck and she feels him inhale deeply. "Forever… I want to have a contract with you forever."
"Now, now, you are just being a spoiled brat, aren't you?"
"Shut up, Witch." But unlike the public that utter her nickname with so much hatred and disgust, the Prince says it like his sacred prayer at night.
"We almost got her this morning, but damn that witch is so fast. She literally vanished before our eyes."
Violet signs the receipt of the package and returns it to the teller as the talk behind her continues. "I've never seen you around here before. Are you from a different town?" the teller, an old man, asks her.
"Yes. I came here to visit someone," Violet answers.
"Well then, here's a piece of advice. Be careful of the witch. She had enchanted us with her mysterious beauty, even she got the prince wrapped around her finger. But behind those golden eyes and green hair of hers lies a beast that will deceive and devour you."
"How did you know that she's a witch?"
"Well, uhmm…" the old man looks around him as if he's going to find the right answers from his surroundings. "You see, she seldom comes to town and interacts with people. She also always wears this impassive look on her face as if we are not worth her time. Oh! Of course how can I forget? Young lady, the witch does not age. She has been in that forest for how many years but she stays young. I'd bet my business that she is older than this town."
"You mean… she's an immortal?" asks Violet.
"Yes! That's the right word! Who knows what spells she does just to keep her youth and she might have even cursed the prince for he is so fascinated with her. Thank God, she's going to be executed the day after tomorrow." The old man lets out a relieved sigh.
Upon hearing this, Violet feels a light tug in her chest making her hold the package tighter. "What do you mean she's going to be executed?"
"Child, this town is one of those that still hasn't been totally invaded by new inventions. People here still believe in witchcraft and sorcery. And some punishments are done like the old times. The witch will be burned at stake tomorrow at the town plaza. Everyone is welcome to watch her execution as per order of the King."
"And the prince? Where does the prince stand in all of this?"
"Well, the prince has been quiet about this ordeal. I understand him though. Perhaps, he's still in a state of denial that his friend is someone who brings tragedy to this town."
Violet remembers how gentle and soft-spoken Miss C.C. is. How she thought that this woman is too gentle for the world.
She doesn't belong here or anywhere.
Perhaps, that's what the people have felt too upon seeing her, she is different from us, and people are afraid of what they cannot fathom.
"Thank you for the package. I'll be leaving now."
"Well, don't forget about what I told you! Be safe!" the teller waves at her.
In town, Violet passes by posters of Miss C.C. with her schedule of execution posted on the walls. There are also banners for the King praising him for his decision to punish the witch. And images of the young prince celebrating his victory in closing a peace agreement with the neighboring country just last week.
The cabin is quiet when she returns. It just sits there, in the middle of the towering trees, so inviting and trusting to anyone who is looking for a place to stay. Quietly, she enters and looks for the owner, but finds no one. A small laugh from outside calls Violet's attention and as she peeks out the window, she sees Miss C.C. and the prince having a picnic under a tree.
She watches as the prince say something to the lady that makes her smile. She watches as Miss C.C. removes a fallen leaf on the prince's hair and how the prince grabs her hand and gives it a quick kiss.
Hey, Violet, have you ever felt genuine love?
She does not know if what she is seeing is genuine love. She does not know if the lady believes that what the prince feels for her is genuine love. What she is certain of is that Miss C.C.'s eyes are sad everytime she glances at the prince, like she had already lost him, like she had already said goodbye for a very long time. She is so certain about this for Violet sees that kind of eyes whenever she looks at the mirror.
Violet, if you have a wish that you want to be granted, what would it be?
Right now, all she wishes is for the happiness of those two people who find solace with each other. Right now, she just wants to see them smile genuinely, without the shadow of loss lurking above them. Right now, she is not thinking about her own happiness.
You have emotions. You have a heart just like me!
She clutches her chest and thinks, Major, is this what having a heart feels like? Like you can't breathe properly? Like you are desperately gasping for air? Like you want to cry not for yourself but for others? Like you want to rearrange the universe in order for others to have their own happy ending? If so, then having a heart is painful.
Her mind goes back to the letter they are writing. How it would break the prince by the time he receives it. But he already knows, doesn't he? That's why he is here with her today, and last night, and perhaps all those days and nights before she came here. He knows that a prince and a witch do not end up together, even though they are not in a fairy tale.
Violet studies the face of the witch. What a beautiful witch, she thought. And if the rumors are true that she is indeed an immortal, Violet hopes that somewhere, some time in her long existence her wish would be granted.
That night, they stay up late to finish the letter. Violet is leaving tomorrow morning while Miss C.C. will be going in the afternoon. The prince will go on his usual visit in mid-afternoon and he will find the letter and the package on the table. They will be long gone by then.
"Violet, am I being too selfish?" the girl asks her.
"I… honestly don't know," Violet answers her. "But… if this is the only best way you have to settle things, then I think… I think it's alright to be selfish for once."
"Hmmm. You're a good person, Violet."
"And you are not a bad witch, Miss C.C."
"Am I not? Am I really not? Maybe, I am."
"I believe," Violet starts and is surprised by how strong her voice came out. Why is she so desperate to let her know that she is not bad? She barely knew the woman. But still…
But still, she is her mirror. But still, perhaps, these are also the words she longed to say to herself.
"I believe that despite the pain that it will leave the prince, I believe that from that pain he will come out stronger and more determined to face the future. For he knows that you are still out there and it will keep him going until you finally meet again." Just like what she is doing now for the Major.
"Until we finally meet again." And Violet witnesses in her own eyes as the witch sheds tears, silently, still gentle. Always so gentle. "Thank you, Violet, thank you."
And in that moment, Violet thinks that somehow, even a little, she understands what 'I love you' means.
C.C. bestows the cabin a final glance, making sure that everything is in its right place. The letter and the package are on the table where the prince can easily find them once he opens the door. A small smile plays on her lips. She can't wait to find him again. She wonders under what circumstances they will meet. Will he be part of another royal family? A regular student who is a genius but keeps on skipping classes? Or perhaps, he may be a leader of a rebellion fighting for justice against a corrupt government. That wouldn't be too far-fetched what with his intense determination, charisma and brilliance.
She cannot really wait.
But for now, it is goodbye for the Prince of France. She thinks of the words Violet had said to her last night. She never knew that she needed to hear those things until she finally heard them.
Violet, what a strange child. She could have been a potential new contractor, but she can see that the girl does not need her help. She might be lost now, but her heart knows where it wants to go. And eventually, with the experiences she would gather from being a doll, eventually, her wish will come true.
It would be nice, though, if C.C. will be around to finally see her smile.