Warning Signs

by TessaSpencer

Nothing good ever comes of a family vacation - especially when Niles and CC are expected to 'enjoy' each other's company for any length of time.

Disclaimer: The events you are about to read are completely true. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Authors: Cheryl and Melissa

Rating: PG 13

Warning Signs

When Larry Hagman invites you to dinner, it's almost the same as being summoned to the White House. Dropping everything to attend a last-minute meeting of the minds doesn't seem that unreasonable - especially when the hotly talked about Dallas Broadway Musical is finally becoming a reality.

After much nagging from Miss Fine, Maxwell reluctantly agreed to schlep the entire family across the country for the event, including his pissed off business partner and his bitter butler.

With the family intending to spend the weekend at the cape, Niles had looked forward to a weekend of old time rock and roll. His plans were kyboshed, and now he was dreading the Texas traffic and heat. His sensitive British skin didn't fair well in such harsh conditions.

Miss Babcock's displeasure was directly proportionate to Fran Fine's hair.

A weekend of sipping margaritas in the private suite's Jacuzzi tub was a bonus earned years before, and the nasal domestic seemed to stifle her plans every time. The prospect of travelling across country was not meant to be foiled by the 'package deal'. Her Jacuzzi plans were for two people only, and that did not include the big-haired brunette.

Arriving first thing Saturday morning at Austin-Bergstrom Airport, the Sheffield entourage was vaguely similar to a hostage-release scenario. Joy was evident in their faces as they entered the terminal, but they were obviously worn from their in-flight experience.

CC could only describe it as the most painful experience of her life, having spent hours sitting beside Fran and Grace in economy class. Their last minute booking had meant lack of seat selection, and being sat next to the nanny and the little one in a tuna-can was tantamount to clinging to the wing of the plane for the duration of the flight. It could have been worse, though, had she been sat next to the annoying butler and the boy, who were arguing over the best way to beat the next level of the video game.

The instant the cabin doors closed at La Guardia, CC was in unimaginable pain. Intense and incomparable pressure filled her ear canals and lasted the duration of the flight, effectively deafening her. Thank God, she thought, for small blessings – at least she couldn't hear the nanny's whine – though the nausea that seemed to come with the ear pain made her feel weak and tired.

The blessings were short lived, however, because by the time they arrived at their hotel, her hearing returned. Thirty minutes stuck in traffic listening to Fran recap the complete history of Dallas, the combination of the nasal accent and the Texan twang, had CC wondering if she could hang herself with a seatbelt.

If CC were to be completely honest, she would confess to having rather enjoyed the Dallas series in it's day, and the prospect of meeting Larry Hagman was exciting to her, on more than just a business level. Of course, she refused to act like such a swooning schoolgirl as Nanny Fine.

The situation became worse when, after leaving the gridlock of the highway, they became lost. Maxwell practically wrestled the map from Niles' hands. The access roads were clearly proving too great a feat for the New Yorkers, and the lack of logically sequential roads were frustrating.

As much as CC hated to admit it, she was sure that Niles would be much more capable of getting them back on track without Maxwell's help. Now, on top of everything, they were going to be late. When Nanny fine began humming the Dallas theme song, CC finally grabbed the map herself and directed them to the house.

The Sheffield family was not unaccustomed to nice homes; they had stayed in their fair share of mansions, and their 76th street home was no slouch on the social scale, but the grandeur of the house they were parked in front of was something out of a movie.

Fran couldn't help but think of Gone with The Wind, though for her life she couldn't think of the name of the posh manor. No matter what, though, she stared in awe at the house, red brick with a black roof, large bay windows, white shutters and a wrap-around veranda. It was some mix between country and modern, and it was larger than anything they had ever seen.

"Apparently Dallas was good to him," Niles said, looking at the house, and dreading what a nightmare it must be to staff. He'd seen towns smaller than this house!

After several minutes of staring in awe at the house, CC started down the long stone walk that led from the driveway to the house. She could feel her heart beating in her chest, and she wondered why she felt so nervous. She had dealt with much bigger names than Larry Hagman in the past. Looking over her shoulder, she assured herself that everyone was still behind her.

Of all the times for Nanny Fine to stop talking...she could use the familiarity right now.

Finally they reached the door, and nobody moved to ring the bell. The stood there, looking at each other for several moments. Apparently they found the enormous estate to be intimidating, as was the actor inside.

"Oh, this is ridiculous!" CC said, finally reaching out and ringing the bell.

Of course, there was a lot to be said for a name such as his. He'd been Major Nelson - He'd been J.R! They were hoping that by getting him on board for the musical, the play would be a success, and would kick start Sheffield Babcock Productions after what had been a bit of a dry spell.

But to be awe-struck?

Waiting an eternity for the door to open, CC realized that she was feeling more than a little claustrophobic. There was no way she was going to be able to stay in that house, with those people, without feeling as if she was losing her mind.

When the door opened, she heaved a sigh of relief. Not that she expected Larry Hagman to open the door, but she didn't want to be caught face-to-face with him - not when she was still trying to catch her breath. It was the heat, she kept telling herself, but she knew that wasn't the case.

"Good afternoon," the tall, lean man said, opening the door wider. "Come on in - Mr Hagman is waiting on you."

The man's southern accent forced CC to choke back a giggle. He wasn't the typical English butler of the New York families.

The group followed the butler through the long corridor to a sitting room, where Larry Hagman stood pouring a strong drink for his wife. CC couldn't help but notice how much old her looked.

She realized that Dallas was a long time ago, but seeing him now she wondered if reviving Dallas as a musical was really such a good idea. He looked different, and she was mildly disappointed that he wasn't wearing a huge hat.

Looking up, a huge southern smile covered Larry's face. Not the classic, evil JR smile, but a genuine one. "Nice to see ya'll! Have a seat. What would you like to drink?"

CC zoned out during the meeting, instead watching as Nanny Fine dominated the conversation. How she did that - how a woman from Queens felt at home talking to celebrities and the elite - CC would never understand.

It had taken years of thoughtful concentration to be able to speak to anyone, and the confidence she exuded was something more like a show to behold. It wasn't easy to feign such total control and self-assurance.

Niles sat watching CC, as Fran recapped the complete history of the show. He couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking, as she tried to move her attention around the group, but clearly wasn't hearing everything that was being said. For years this had been his favourite past-time, and with all eyes on "JR" and Fran, he felt confident that nobody would be any wiser of his misdirected attention.

This entire weekend was going to be a write off, but at least he'd have entertainment. Family vacations without CC were more like being sent to one's room without a TV - there was just no fathomable way of passing the time.

"Let's relocate this conversation out to the pool, and we'll have a swim before dinner," Larry said, standing and smiling. "This young lady has quite the knowledge of all things Dallas - maybe she should be on our creative team if we put something together."

CC heard that, loud and clear, and groaned.

"You ok?" Larry asked, genuinely concerned. Clearly he didn't know CC, or her loathing for the hired help.

Trying to regroup, CC merely nodded. "I just realized I didn't bring sunscreen," she tried to cover.

"No worries," Larry assured her. "There's extra in the pool house. Help yourself."

Niles watched CC sit at the patio table, very much in Sue Ellen Fashion, spreading the sunscreen across her body almost erotically. He was quite certain that she hadn't meant to look erotic, but if Niles could get turned on watching her send a fax, surely watching her rub cream onto her body could give him a second heart attack.

Unfortunately for Niles, CC conveniently "forgot" to bring a bathing suit with her. The closest she would get to a state of undress was removing her suit jacket to reveal a black tank top underneath. Niles silently blessed the hot Texas sun for forcing her to do that much.

Fran jumped into the pool with a splash, getting CC wet and earning herself a sharp glare from the uptight heiress. Fran, oblivious to CC's annoyance, floated leisurely on her back.

"Come in, Miss Babcock! I have extra bathing suits in my suitcase...new ones! There was a big sale at Lohmanns!"

CC debated the merits of the swimsuit.

She was sweltering, and the only thing that was keeping her from melting into a puddle on the floor was her upbringing. She was doing her best to maintain composure and look as put together as possible, but at the same time she felt her temperature rise with each passing moment. It was not very becoming to sweat like a marathon runner, was it? Looking at the kids and the annoying Nanny splashing around in the pool, CC groaned.

"What makes you think I'd want to wear something in an animal print?"

Fran laughed, in her usual nasal foghorn like way. "There's even a black one - a one piece no less. In case I felt bloated," Fran said, with a wink, hoping to entice the blonde into the pool. How she could still be sitting poolside, Fran would never understand. "Come on, get in! You'll love it."

There was a fleeting thought of abandoning them all and taking her leave, but there was still business to be done, and the idea of leaving Maxwell to Nanny Fine's grasp seemed like giving up. "Are you going to go get one for me?"

Shaking her head, she simply looked at the blonde and splashed Brighton who floated past on a pool noodle. "They're in a Loehmann's bag, in the top of my suitcase. It's leopard print."

Groaning, she couldn't believe she was about to do this, but it felt like it was 120 degrees in the shade. "I'll be right back," she said, already horrified by what kind of fate might await her.

Unzipping the bag, CC began to dig through the contents looking for the black bathing suit. She looked through each set, in their loud rainbow of tacky colours, unable to locate this alleged demure swimwear. A sigh of relief escaped her lips. Perhaps now she could just remain in her business suit. A part of her would rather melt into a puddle than be seen less than dressed.

"Are you getting changed or not?" a voice came from behind her. CC turned to see Niles standing, looking over her shoulder at the bathing suits. "I can't find the black one, Nanny Fine must have forgotten to pack it."

Niles picked up a bright red bikini from the bag. "Why not wear this one? Unless you're afraid."

CC laughed, "I'm not afraid. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to be seen in that. This is still a business meeting, though an unconventional one."

Niles shrugged. "Do you really think that Mr. Hagman would *mind* you sporting that? In fact...I think it might just help the cause," he said, a low tone to his voice that conveyed something more than a passing interest.

CC blushed at the implication. "Unlike Nanny Fine, I'm not willing to whore myself out to get what I want."

"You're chicken, aren't you? Miss Babcock, you are undeniably chicken. You can't tell me you'd rather be sitting poolside. I've been sweltering, and I've been going between indoors and out - you've been out there all along."

"I'll be fine," she said again, this time hoping her voice relayed the right amount of confidence.

"Or you could wear the suit, and cool down." He didn't want to admit that a part of him wished she wouldn't take the dare. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her in the red scrap of material, as much as he was afraid she might do it, and he'd be unable to hide his obvious approval.

Regardless of how many jokes he made, she was still a stunning woman.

"It's a business meeting," she repeated again.

"And that's stopped Mr Sheffield from diving into the pool? Did you notice Larry Hagman playing Marco Polo with the girls?"

Groaning, CC wished he hadn't brought that up. She *was* the only person not in the pool, and she desperately wanted to be in it, splashing around. *ANYTHING* to have the chance to relax and cool down.

"I didn't even bring in a towel," she said, as a last line of defence.

Niles casually pulled the bath towel he had over his shoulder into his hands and passed it to her. "Here. I can get another one. I know where they are."

CC stared at his retreating form, the muscles of his legs clearly visible with his swim trunks. It was criminal that a man so annoying could look so good.

CC sighed heavily. Realizing that passing out from the heat would likely be an even more inappropriate display than splashing around with everyone else, she made her way to the bathroom to change, wondering how she could possibly appear cutthroat while sporting a skimpy red bikini.

How Maxwell could seem so comfortable in this situation was beyond her understanding. Ever since the non-traditional nanny had first made her appearance in their lives, Maxwell had transformed from a proper businessman to a laid back, fun person. Under normal circumstances CC might have seen the appeal in that, but there was still work to be done! Every day Maxwell was spending more time with Nanny Fine, which in turn saddled CC with more work. She barely recognized him now, and she found herself less and less attracted to him every day.

Getting into the bikini was one thing - and somewhat similar to an optical illusion, as CC strategically tried to tie the strings as to not let everything be seen - but walking out onto the pool deck was entirely another. Wrapping her pool towel around her (and up to her chin, almost!) with such ferocity as to nearly cut off her circulation, CC watched as everyone in the pool was playing a rousing round of Marco Polo. Maybe, just maybe, if she could get in while they were distracted, she wouldn't have to expose too much of herself in the process.

"CC," Larry said, smiling, and tipping his hat at her. Even has he swam in the deep end of the pool, his trademark hat was perched upon his head, looking perilously close to dipping in the water. "We were starting to get worried about you - we thought maybe you got lost."

She merely smiled. So much for that cover. "I just had to take a phone call," she said quietly, grasping the towel for dear life.

"Well, come on - join us! The water is great."

CC smiled, and debated her next step. Maybe she'd keep it wrapped around her until the edge, and then toe her way in - if she did it quickly enough, she could fling it to the side of the pool with little or no consequence, and get in relatively under cover.

As she planned her next step, she walked down the first step, and then the next. Her ankles were officially covered, and it was the most refreshing thing she had ever felt, she was sure of it.

"I'll take that, Miss Babcock," the kindly butler offered.

CC grinned through gritted teeth. "It's fine, I've got it," she said, but it was too late, he had already grasped it and begun to take it away from her.

CC squealed at the realization that she officially had lost grasp of her towel. Up until then, nobody had been all that much the wiser to her wardrobe.

CC didn't think that anything could be more humiliating than being seen in a skimpy red bikini. That was, until she realized that the butler had accidentally grabbed the strings to her top as he was pulling the towel away.

It was a small consolation that Maxwell, Nanny Fine, Mr. Hagman and the children were all to busy with their game to be looking at her, but the two butlers present both saw much more of CC than she ever would have liked...and they were both ogling. Apparently she was a butler magnet, because all domestic eyes were glued to her chest.

Grabbing the towel back, she quickly covered herself and stormed into the house to either soothe her embarrassment, or die from it.

Locking herself in the bathroom, CC groaned, hoping that if she were to die at that moment, nobody would tell that she had just flashed the hired help.

On the verge of tears, she collapsed against the toilet, holding the towel against her body. What was she thinking, going out there in that monstrosity of a bathing suit? Nanny Fine was one thing - but wearing something like that was a totally different thing. Clearly she had a momentary lapse of sanity, which was the only way she could justify it.

A quiet knock came at the door, and she looked up, horrified. "Go away," she managed to mumble, and for a moment she wondered if it was that annoying Nanny. She would strangle her with her own bikini ties.

"I'm not going away," Niles said quietly. "Open the door."

"I'm not decent," she replied.

"You never are. Open the door," he said again, this time more demanding.

She lurched forward, and caught herself at the edge of the seat, realizing that she was about to open the door. What was it about him that ruined her defences?

"I've picked locks more complicated than this - this is the last warning," he said again, his voice more stern.

If she ignored him, he'd go away - he'd have to. He'd never pick the lock.

Of course, CC thought that, until the door opened slowly, and he walked in. There was a towel wrapped around his neck, and his body was still wet from being in the pool. "I warned you," he said carefully. "Are you ok?"

She nodded, hugging the towel closer to her body. "I think I'm humiliated enough," she said. "There's no need to make it worse."

It took every ounce of his will power to keep his eyes from her towel-covered chest. Now that he had seen what was under the towel, he knew that the image would be burned into his memory forever.

Now was not the time to ogle her, though. Clearly she was embarrassed enough. Under normal circumstances he would enjoy her discomfort, but right now he felt sorry for her.

"I'm not here to make it worse, I just..."

CC tried to read him, but the look on his face was one she had never seen on him before. "Just what?"

"I wanted to make sure you're ok."

"Why wouldn't I be ok?" she asked sarcastically, "I only flashed a large group of people during a business meeting...including the star."

"Nobody saw," he said, knowing it wasn't entirely true.

"You saw...and the idiot butler who took my towel saw."

"We really didn't see that much," Niles said, a light teasing tone to his voice. With any luck, the same old CC Babcock that he knew and ... knew... would be brought back to them. He wasn't used to the defeated shell that sat before him. This was *not* the woman he had spent most of his adult life sparring with.

"You saw plenty! I know exactly what you saw... I just can't believe I let you and that idiot nanny talk me into wearing that damn thing."

In a moment of weakness, Niles hoped he could be at least a little encouraging, but instead, all he managed to say was: "it looked good on you."

CC blushed. "I barely wore it."

"There was barely anything to wear. But it looked good on you," he said again. "Don't worry about what we saw - it's no different than what every woman has, and we're grown men. We can be mature about it."

"THANK you Niles, for that anatomy lesson - because what every woman wants to hear is that they look exactly the same as everyone else..."

Niles sputtered, surprised that when she stood up there were long, lean legs and a towel still draped across her chest. Her stance told him that she was in the mood for a fight, and he wondered quickly what brought him up to check on her.

"What I meant was..."

"I'll have you know that I'm not like every other woman," she scolded. "In fact, I'm VERY different - but that's not something you'll ever get to experience!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply..." he didn't know how to finish the sentence. God, now he was apologizing to her...what was wrong with him?

"Just get out of here, Niles...let me get dressed and maybe try to pick up the pieces of my dignity so I can get back outside and try to get some work done."

Niles nodded. "Ok, I'll go. But you really have nothing to be embarrassed about." He left the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

CC engaged the lock. Had he actually implied that he liked the way she looked naked?

CC changed into a lose fitting skirt and a button down blouse. It didn't matter that she normally wore the first two buttons undone, because suddenly she was feeling very self conscious and felt the need to have it done up completely.

Making her way through the house, the conversation with Niles repeated in her head. Was it possible that there was no ill intent behind his words, and that for once, maybe, just maybe he was being a human being?

Walking through the patio doors, she was surprised to see the kids still enthralled with their game of Marco Polo, and Nanny Fine still splashing around Maxwell. It felt like so much more time had passed - for a moment in the bathroom, she thought she'd look up and it would be a whole new day.

"Are you feeling better, Miss Babcock?" Niles asked tenderly, handing her a margarita. "They don't have any Johnny Walker, but I thought this might be refreshing instead."

CC shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure I want to stay here for the day," she complained, "but I don't foresee a way out. I just dread having to face that butler all day..."

"This butler?"

"Oddly, for once, you're not the domestic I'm avoiding."

Niles smiled. It was a start.

They both looked over at the butler who was serving drinks with a blush still on his cheeks.

"I'm sure he's seen a naked woman before." Niles said as he tried to push her naked image out of his mind.

CC smiled slightly, "I doubt it. Look at him; he's a scrawny old man. Not exactly anything to look at."

Niles and CC giggled together briefly. They were sharing another one of those rare and wonderful moments when they were on the same side. As she finally moved to take the margarita from his hand, their fingers brushed lightly and their gazes met.

CC spent the rest of the day avoiding the butler - both of them, in fact.

She was still uneasy from that moment of shared understanding earlier, and the fact that he had seen her half naked didn't help her confidence.

Niles always managed to put her on edge, and it seemed that as time past, their relationship only got more complicated, and more frustrating.

Frustrating was the operative word.

As the day past, CC realized that she couldn't stomach spending the night with these people. What she wanted, more than anything, was an escape, and some time on her own.

Making the decision, she dialled the first number she thought of, and was pleased when she was able to find a room far enough (but not TOO far) away.

So what if it meant an hour in the car, to get away from these people?

It also meant a break from reality, and a chance to spend a day on her own.

CC could feel the butler's eyes on her bust line as he leaned over her shoulder to put her plate in front of her. While the rest of the table was oblivious, Niles shot the butler a warning glare from across the table, and then offered CC a friendly smile.

CC decided to just focus on her plate. The sooner she finished eating, the sooner she could get the hell out of there. If Niles didn't stop being nice to her soon, she might just snap. It was always unnerving when he treated her this way, somehow the insults were familiar and comforting, which was exactly what she needed right then.

"...Don't you think, CC?" Larry said, catching her attention.

CC blushed, realizing that she had missed an entire conversation that she was meant to be a part of. Could this day get any worse?

"I'm sorry," she managed, trying to think of a way out of this. She hadn't heard a single word, except his attempt at summoning her. "I was just working out some of the finer details, and I seem to have missed what you said."

He smiled kindly and nodded in understanding. "I often lull out at the sound of my own voice. I was saying that I thought it'd be a great idea if we could bring back some of the original gang. I have some friends joining us later that would like to discuss the possibilities."

"That sounds great," CC said, though she still narrowly comprehended the conversation. How had he managed to set her so on edge?

The conversation flared around them again, and Niles couldn't help but notice how CC barely lifted her eyes to speak to anyone. She must really have been embarrassed by the display earlier, for lack of a more tactful way to refer to it.

"Oh, I used to get myself into trouble," Larry said with a mischievous smile. "I had some great times as a young man - and my parents spent a lot of time bailing me out of trouble."

Maxwell laughed, and added in an "Oh, those were the days," as if he had any idea as to what trouble was.

"What did you do, dad?" Brighton asked, hoping for the dirt on his father.

"Oh, a little of this. A little of that."

"Really, very little," Niles added sarcastically. "He spent more time covering for me, when I'd sneak out."

Suddenly, CC looked up, intrigued by the turn of conversation. This might be more interesting than she thought.

"What about the time I stole the stop sign?" Maxwell interrupted.

"I stole the stop sign and gave it to you," Niles smirked. Realizing he had a very intrigued audience, he continued. "I had to take it down to get to the road sign..."

"And why did you steal the road sign?" Miss Fine asked, surprised by this hidden side of her friend.

Maxwell jumped in. "To impress a girl."

Niles sighed, he hadn't really intended to get into this conversation. "She wasn't just any girl...she was Jenna Walsh, the most beautiful girl in all of London...and she had a thing for bad boys. Anyway, the street was called 'Walsh Street' so it was appropriate."

CC shook her head, an amused smirk on her face, "Niles, how very adolescent of you."

"Well, I *was* an adolescent."

"Did it impress her?" Brighton asked, in wrapt attention.

"No," Niles and Maxwell said in unison, though the grin on their faces told more than they intended.

"Do you remember having to run down that alley so we weren't seen?"

"I remember Jenna falling into my arms," Niles grinned. When Fran cat-called, Niles quickly corrected. "She *fell* - it was slippery out."

CC groaned. "I didn't expect you to do something foolish like that - what about if someone needed to stop - the sign was gone. That's dangerous," she scolded. So maybe it was a bit of a turn on, were they 15 years old again, and maybe if it was a different man?

"That sign was carefully selected," Niles replied. "It was never missed. I'm sure to this day, in monument of my great thievery, they've yet to replace it."

Maxwell groaned. "I still remember the way I looked, that stop sign tucked in my jacket."

"Well, at least you got to participate in the great caper," Larry laughed, looking between the men. "We all had our times - I used to favour cow-tipping."

"Cow tipping?" CC asked. Having lived her entire life in Manhattan, she was hard pressed to even recall seeing a real cow in her lifetime.

"Yeah, that's when you go into the field in the middle of the night and push the cows over...it's real funny..."

"That's not very nice," Grace said, earning herself a stern glare from her father that clearly screamed 'don't insult the star of the new show.'

"How about you, Miss Babcock?" Brighton interrupted. "Did you get into trouble as a kid?"

"Me?" She looked around the room, expectant eyes all focussed on her. "I suppose I did - nothing as colourful as cow-tipping or stealing street signs..."

"Like?" Fran asked hopefully. There was something about CC Babcock that told her she had never had a real day of fun in her life. The reserved businesswoman was probably born in a suit.

Thinking, CC wished anything would come to mind, aside from the time she forgot to come home from the stables, and fell asleep in the horse's stall. Her parents almost killed her for that, but not because they didn't know where she was, but because Nanny Bobo had been hysterical and caused quite a scene during one of their dinner parties.

Disobedient children were not looked upon kindly in their social circle.

"Nothing I can mention here," she said, trying to sport her most mischievous grin. "But I've seen my share of trouble."

CC looked at Niles and realized he could read her like a book and it unnerved her. Looking back towards Larry Hagman, CC merely smiled. "So, other than cow-tipping, any great adventures to share with us?"

"Oh, I've had plenty of great adventures. The best ones have happened since I've been an adult!"

Everyone laughed, except CC who was eyeing the white slop referred to as "country gravy" with disgust.

How people could eat like this all of the time without dropping dead from a heart attack in their forties she would never understand.

Taking a sip of her drink, she nearly gagged. Her ice tea was exactly that - tea poured over ice. Being from the north she was used to ice tea that was cold and sweetened, often with lemon.

When she looked up, she saw Niles smiling at her. "Suddenly the stuff I serve doesn't seem so bad, does it?" he teased, his voice in a low whisper.

CC couldn't help but smile at his comment, and silently nod in agreement.

This time in Texas was going to be *very* bad for her waistline if she didn't strategize. Between the huge portions and the servings of red meat at every meal, she would spend the next week and a half on the lifecycle, trying to work it off.

"So, we've set ya'll up in the guest house, and we have an extra room here in the house, if you'd rather have some more space. I don't know if ya'll have any intended sights to hit this weekend, but my driver would be happy to show you around."

CC thought this was the perfect opportunity to tell them of her plans for the weekend. "Well, actually, I have a few friends not far away, and once they heard I was in the area, they asked me to go there for tonight. I hope nobody minds."

Nobody seemed to notice, except for Larry and Niles. "Hopefully you plan on joining us tomorrow afternoon," Larry said. "I thought we'd take you around and show you the city."

"Of course," CC smiled. She was thinking about what Larry said and realized that with her luck, the driver was very possibly the butler, and the last thing she planned on doing was being trapped in a car with that letch.

"Oh, can we go to Southfork?" Fran practically screamed in her overly enthusiastic way.

CC interrupted, "I think I should really be going. My friend's house is about an hour away, and I would like to get there before dark." Really, CC was just in a hurry to get out of there. Between Nanny Fine, and the two butlers, and the accidental striptease, CC couldn't handle much more of these people.

"Well, don't run off just yet," Larry said, "Linda will be here soon to talk about reprising her role as Sue Ellen."

Just then, the doorbell rang and the butler disappeared to answer it.

"Linda Gray?" CC asked, not wanting to appear as blown away as she was feeling. She felt like the biggest loser for feeling so intimidated by these people, but she had been such a fan of this show for so many years, meeting the actors was surreal.

More importantly, somewhere in the recesses of her mind, CC could remember the days when she fantasized about living that kind of glamorous and reckless life. It would seem ridiculous to anyone else, especially considering she could probably live like that if she really wanted to, but she was under no misimpression that that kind of life was destined only for dramatics - television and movies, and of course Broadway.

When Linda Grey walked into the room, CC stood to greet her, and in that moment her brain and legs seemed to lose connection with each other.

Taking the step forward, hoping to greet the woman, something went wrong, and instead of both feet firmly planting themselves on the ground, CC found herself on the floor, and in a heap.

"Fuck," she mumbled, her pride hurt more than anything else, though there was an intense throbbing in her ankle. She was vaguely aware of the people flocking around her, and coming to her side to help her up.

The lecherous butler was there first, offering a hand, but Niles pushed him aside and bent down. "Are you ok?" he asked tenderly.

"Kill me now," she managed to say, though he had already hoisted her to her feet again.

"My goodness, that's quite a greeting. Are you ok?" Linda asked, looking as amazing as CC had ever seen her.

"I tripped," she tried to explain. That wasn't at all what happened, but it was the best explanation she could come up with.

"Maybe you should sit down," Linda suggested while already guiding her back into her chair.

Looking down at her knees, CC groaned in further embarrassment when she saw the blood dripping down her legs. This day had become so unbearable that CC couldn't help the quiet, disbelieving laugh that escaped her lips.

Apparently CC had talent with moronic displays if she could manage to cut her knees open on hardwood. It wasn't like she had fallen on concrete or anything.

Moments later the butler returned with first aid supplies, and kneeled at her feet to help her.

Niles, knowing CC better than anyone, knew that she had endured about as much embarrassment as she could handle in one day. Bending to take the Neosporin from the man's hand, he shoed him out of the way and kneeled before CC himself.

Carefully appraising the injury, Niles tried not to chuckle to himself. He wasn't pleased that she was hurt, by any means, but that she could experience this much misfortune in one day was unfathomable.

"That's pretty deep," he said, wiping the blood off of her. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine," she said, running her fingers through her hair. "Please, just get this over with."

Nodding, he carefully cleaned the area and applied the Neosporin and bandages. "Take it easy for a while, don't do anything too strenuous, or else your ankle really will hurt."

"That was pretty cool, Miss Babcock - you just fell over!"

CC groaned. "I'm glad I could entertain you."

"Dinner and a show," Linda teased kindly. "I can be such a klutz sometimes - don't worry about it darling. Ask Larry about the time I fell in the pool, midshoot. They caught the whole thing on camera - at the end of the series, they used that to finish off the blooper reel."

"Nobody has photographic evidence of that, do they?" CC faked a smile, thoroughly humiliated. "Look, I appreciate everyone trying to make me feel better, but I really think I should go before I manage to get myself killed. The sooner this day ends, the better."

Maxwell nodded. These were friendly people, and he was quite certain that he would be able to reach a deal without having to employ CC's scare tactics. "You go ahead, CC. Niles will drive you."

Niles faked a groan, "Please, Sir, do I have to?" he asked, not meaning a word of it. Given Miss Babcock's track record for the day, he was relieved that he would be accompanying her to safety, hopefully without further incident. The amount of trouble she had managed to get herself into in only one day was remarkable.

"If you don't mind, CC, why don't you take my town car - it would probably easier to navigate around, and no use driving a big bulky limo if you don't need to," Larry offered kindly.

"That's not necessary sir, we'd hate to inconvenience you," Maxwell said, on behalf of Niles. It felt odd to borrow someone else's car.

"Nonsense - no bother. Take the town car. Unless of course you would rather take the limo," Larry said, directed his attention to CC.

She had been rather looking forward to slumping over in the back of the car and relaxing, but at this point all that really mattered was getting out. "The town car would be fine, thank you very much for your kind offer," she managed.

Niles helped her to her feet, and then groaned as if exerted from the effort. "As soon as I find a suitable ditch to drop her in, or a corner, I'll be back."

CC elbowed him, earning a grunt. "I'm so sorry to leave on these terms."

"Likely best before anymore blood is spilled," Maxwell teased, though not entirely sure it was a joke anymore. The idea of the two taking off into the night together made his stomach lurch. It didn't seem like a very promising prospect, and he was almost entirely sure at least one of them wouldn't make it back.

As the butler led Niles and CC to the door, CC finally got fed up with his admiring of her now clothed body. "Put your eyeballs back in your face before I rip them out," she told him.

The blushing butler awkwardly opened the front door, and Niles and CC made their way to the car, giggling.

"Thank God that's finally over," CC said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Yes," Niles agreed, "you really did make quite a spectacle of yourself."

He closed the passenger door behind her, made his way around the car and climbed into the drivers seat. Starting the ignition he asked, "So, Miss Babcock, where are we going?"

CC hadn't thought of getting directions. She knew the general area, and she hoped that by getting on the highway, she'd eventually be able to spot the exit for the hotel. "Just get back on the highway. I'll navigate."

Niles groaned. He had heard rumour of her ability to navigate, and her general lack of directional capabilities. "Should I go get a map?"

"No, we'll be fine," she assured him. After all, it was only a couple of highways, and maybe a service road or two. Surely she could get them to the hotel.

As Niles pulled back onto the highway, he debated turning on the music in the car. The silence was unnerving. All he could think about was the peep show from earlier, and it seemed inappropriate to focus on her... assets while also trying to navigate them somewhere. And in the dark.

This was ominous.

"I'm not staying at friends' house - you might as well know now," she blurted. Sooner or later he was bound to find out.

"I figured as much," Nile said, watching the street signs. All that he knew for sure was that they were en route to San Antonio.

"What?" Indignantly, she stared at him. "Why?"

"Because you never mentioned it until this afternoon, when Mr Sheffield and Miss Fine were fawning all over each other. I don't blame you - I wouldn't want to stay for that either, if I were you."

CC gasped. "Excuse me?"

"You're in love with him, and she's in love with him - and he's in love with her. I can't imagine that's fun for you - you put on a good show, but I know you can't be heartless. It has to hurt to watch that."

"I don't want to talk about this with you," CC said coolly.

"You need to learn to relax a bit, Miss Babcock. Put your guard down from time to time and enjoy life - enjoy what you have, not what you don't."

"Big words from the little butler," CC growled.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. I think it's best that we find the hotel as quickly as possible before you get yourself into trouble again."

"Very funny, Niles," she said, looking out the window at the street signs. "I'm just having a bad day. It happens to everyone."

Niles nodded, but said nothing. Indeed, he needed to get her to her hotel before he exploded from the sexual tension that seeing her topless had induced. He decided to change the subject.

"So, I want to hear about the alleged trouble you got into as a kid." he said, smirking.

"I assure you, the trouble I got into was hardly alleged - I was just good enough to not get caught," Niles said with a smirk. Fond remembrances of his youthful indiscretions made him smile.

"Well, you've stolen signs for girls, what else is on your list of indiscretions?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he teased. "Maybe you should tell me about all your hell-raising days that you implied over dinner. I think that might be more interesting to hear."

"Anything of interest that I did as a girl is not repeatable," CC said haughtily. "Oh, there's our exit!" She pointed out the window to the large sign, 'Babcock road'.

Niles shook his head as he pulled the car onto the exit ramp. "Did you pick a hotel on this road on purpose?"

"Of course not. It's just a coincidence," she answered, peering out the window and trying to determine how much farther the hotel was, "This is the finest hotel in San Antonio. Naturally Babcock Road is the upper class part of the city."

As they pulled onto Babcock Road, Niles groaned. This was most definitely NOT the finest part of the city, by any means. To one side of the exit there was a gas station and a subdivision (which, yes, looked nice enough) and to the other side of the road (and the direction she pointed him in) there was nothing to be seen for miles.

"It's this way," she assured him, as he wondered what she was getting them into.

"How far down here is it?" he asked. He had this feeling things were about to go very wrong.

"Not far, probably ten minutes - twenty at most."

As he continued down the road, he groaned. "You know, you get yourself into the most ridiculous circumstances, and unlike Miss Fine you don't even have fun doing it. If you could just learn to roll with the punches, we'd still be in Austin."

"Oh, because when you flash your business partner, his family, and the star of a new show you're putting on, there's nothing to be ashamed of?"

"I already told you have nothing to be ashamed of," he mumbled, before covering quickly. "Nobody other than me and Derek saw anything - you didn't flash everyone, by any means."

"Well, then I fell over when I met Linda Grey."

"Yes, that was pretty funny," Niles smiled, unable to stop himself. "I never could have imagined that you could turn to such a pile of goo just from meeting a couple of TV stars."

CC shook her head. She really couldn't believe that she had acted like such an ass either.

"How is your ankle feeling now?"

"It still hurts," she said, "but at least I'm not standing on it now."

Taking in their surroundings, CC noted that they were heading into a heavily forested area. Not an area where one would expect to find an upper class hotel.

Not knowing whether they should turn around or continue on their current path, she told herself they'd go this way a few more minutes, and then decide to turn around if they didn't find it. The hotel had advertised that it was in a very beautiful, more isolated locale, though she hardly thought it would be desolate.

"Looks like you're going to have quite a walk if you want to work a corner tonight," Niles teased, watching as the third car in at least then minutes past them. This was barely a road, he thought.

"Ha ha. I want to slip into the Jacuzzi and forget about today - drink a bottle of scotch, and sleep for a while."

He really didn't need to think about CC sitting in a Jacuzzi tub; especially not after the show she had given him earlier.

"You should see if they have anything around - get into a little trouble - but not real trouble. Just get out. Do you ever have fun, CC?"

She looked offended and confused by what he had just said. Not only had he implied her life was boring, which was maybe partly true, but he had used her first name. Even more confusing was that she liked the way it sounded.

"I'm a grown woman, Niles. It would hardly be appropriate for me to go around stealing street signs."

"As if you ever would have had the nerve to do such a thing," he smirked. "Even as a kid. Face it, you were never half the rebel I was."

"Oh really. So you stole a stupid sign. You were hardly risking a trip to the electric chair."

"If you're such a rebel, why don't you do it?" he started to slow the car, as if he was planning to pull over and stop. "Steal the street sign."

CC knew that she wasn't always the most reasonable person in the world, often letting her temper get in the way of her common sense. But even she was surprised to hear the next sentence leave her lips. "Pull over, Niles...right in front of that sign."

Niles smiled. It would take about two minutes before she chickened out, he was sure of it. Pulling over as close as he could, he watched as she opened her door.

The fact she was going this far was impressive - he thought by now she would have come up with an excuse.

"Do you think there's a tire iron in the back of this thing?"

That was the last thing he expected to hear from her. "Uh, I can check."

"I'll evaluate the situation, you get me a tire iron," she said assertively.

As he popped the trunk, CC mentally scolded herself. She was letting herself do this to prove something to Niles, of all people. It was totally inappropriate to think this would change anything, or that it would matter to him.

"There was a mallet - I don't want to know what that was about - and an allen key set," he said, offering the tools to her.

Shrugging, she accepted the mallet and stepped on top of the concrete below the sign. Winding back, she rammed the mallet into the sign, first once, and then again. The rattle of the metal against the mallet made her cringe the first few times. "Is it moving?"

Niles shook his head, still surprised she was doing it. "Wait - stop... There's a dog barking?"

CC looked around, and hid the mallet behind her back. Sure enough, there was a barking noise coming from over the street, and a porch light turned on.

Dashing back into the car and tossing the mallet against the floor, CC looked at Niles. "We have two options..."

"Give up?" he asked, a grin on his face.

"OK, make that three. First, we could take care of the dog - it's inhumane, but possibly very necessary."

Groaning, he shook his head. "Next?"

"We move down the road a bit - it doesn't look like there's anything down there."

"You can't be serious!" he said. "I can't believe CC Babcock is really set on stealing the Babcock sign!"

Frantically pointing in the direction of the road, she urged him along.

"Get moving, before whoever lives in that house with the damn dog comes outside to see what the fuss is."

Pulling onto the road, Niles began a long drive into a more secluded area.

The forest became thicker, and after several minutes of not passing anything or anyone, CC pointed at another sign.

"This one looks good," she said. "Pull over here."

It was a three-way intersection, and the intersecting road ran steeply uphill. Upon investigation they discovered that it was a country road that seemed to go nowhere. Across from them was a huge farmers field.

"This is perfect," CC said, picking up the mallet. "Pull up as close as you can."

"Why?"

"There's no cement here - we need to be close. I might need to stand on the car to reach it," she said.

"We're close enough," Niles said, putting the car in park, and getting out. There wasn't a person for miles, he was sure, and the fact that there seemed to be no traffic meant no chance of getting caught. She was running out of excuses, if she expected another easy break.

Looking at the sign, CC nodded, and slid off her shoes. Climbing on top of the hood of the car, she took her first swing at it.

"It'd be easier if you had a saw. Or a screw driver - I used a screw driver," Niles said smugly, wishing he had a camera to get a picture of her like this.

"Well, I didn't plan this - I didn't think to stop en route in case we decided to damage city property." With another two swings narrowly hitting the sign, CC groaned and then slid down the hood, to rest on her butt. "We're not close enough," she complained.

Niles sighed. What did he get them in to? "Fine. Get in the car, and we'll pull closer. You an tell me when it's close enough - I can't see for all the grass."

Climbing back into the car, they looked at the sign. "I can probably get a bit closer."

Backing up to better angle their attack on the sign, Niles stopped and slowly pulled forward.

"You're still too far away, Niles. You've got to get closer if I'm ever going to reach well enough to hit it hard enough."

Pulling back onto the road, he tried again. This time as he drove forward, off the road, the tall grass brushed the passenger side of the car, covering much of CC's window.

"Try to get a little closer," she said again. "There's still more space."

Putting the car into reverse, Niles tried once again to back the car up. But this time the wheels started to spin. He put the car into drive, and stepped on the gas, only to hear a loud crunching noise.

Niles and CC looked at each other in shock. "We're stuck," he said.

"You're joking? That isn't funny, Niles."

Looking at her with nothing less than sheer apprehension, Niles shook his head. "We just crashed Larry Hagman's car!"

Finally realizing that he was indeed serious, CC gasped. "You crashed Larry Hagman's car! What are we going to tell him?"

"Great, so now it's ME that crashed it. I seem to recall you saying that there was plenty of space."

"Well, there was, until you went hurdling forward as if you were in a NASCAR race," she complained. "We'll push it out of the ditch and he'll never know the difference."

Pushing open her car and leaping down into the ditch, CC watched as Niles followed. "One of us has to be in the car to drive it," she said snidely, crossing behind and getting into the driver's seat. "I'll drive, you push."

"We're not going to be able to push it out."

"We have to - just... lift, and push."

Swearing under his breath, Niles leveraged himself in front of the car. "Just remember that if you kill me, you're stuck out here alone."

"Yeah, because that's my biggest worry."

"Haven't you ever seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? It's just a stupid movie. Now push!"

Niles positioned his hands at the front of the car and bent down, finding his footing. "Think what you want, but I'm running at the first sound of a chainsaw."

Putting the car into reverse, CC gently pressed the gas as Niles pushed with every ounce of his strength. The car didn't budge.

Returning to the open passenger door, Niles groaned. "It must be in there pretty good. It didn't move at all."

"Here," CC said, activating a small light on her cell phone and handing it to him. "See if you can tell how bad it is."

Climbing down below the car, Niles flashed the light toward the front drive tire. "Shit," he groaned.

"What?"

"It's not touching at all - there's no ground under the tire," he said gravely.

"This is bad," CC said.

It seemed like the perfectly inopportune time for them to hear the rattlesnakes, and this time with no way of denying it.

"Do you think?"

"It could be," Niles replied, looking at the tall grass. "It sounds like it. We should probably get back in the car."

Carefully climbing back into the car and pulling the door shut after her, CC rolled up the window. "What do we do now?"

"We call for help," Niles replied. "We're not getting this car out without help."

"Sure, we'll call Larry Hagman and tell him you ditched his car while I was trying to steal a street sign - great." Kicking her shoes off and putting them on the dashboard, CC leaned back into the seat. "This has been the weekend from hell."

"We could try calling a tow truck," Niles said. "Smart ass," he added under his breath.

CC dialled information on her cell phone. It didn't work. "No service," she said. "Perfect."

The rattling outside the car was deafening, reminding them that they really were in danger. "Close your window," Niles said.

He reached forward to turn on the air conditioning. It didn't take long for them to notice that the air conditioning wasn't working. "Damn it! You would think a wealthy man like Larry Hagman, who lives in a hot place like Texas, would keep the air conditioning in his car in working order!"

CC remained silent, trying to maintain the tough front she liked to present to the world. Putting the window back down, she knew they had to take their chances with the rattlesnakes. It was either that or surly suffocate from the hot Texas heat.

"Well, maybe if I walk up the hill, I'll get some reception," CC said, pulling her phone out, and extending her hand out the window toward the sky. "It has to work somewhere around here, right?"

Niles looked at her, horror etched on his face. "We can't split up - that's always how the horror movies begin!"

"What? I'll be right back," she said snidely. "You and Nanny Fine watch too many horror movies!"

"OH - you just broke one of the rules - never, EVER say you'll be right back," Niles complained. "They'll find you hanging from a tree naked, your entrails strewn about. I know that's a typical Saturday night for you, but I'm more vulnerable once you're gone."

"Ugh! That's disgusting, Niles - even for you, and that's saying something. We need to make a phone call to someone, or else they'll find our decaying bodies here, and I'm not willing to die with you."

Looking at the dashboard lights, he wondered if there was anything else that could be done to try and get them out of the ditch. "We've got to call a tow truck. And we can't split up. There are rattlesnakes out there... there must be something we can do."

"We could try 911," CC said, very rationally.

"You said there was no reception," Niles said, an angry glare on his face.

"911 is one of those numbers you're supposed to be able to dial like, in the middle of a smouldering inferno, and it's supposed to work. I'm not sure we're in a 911-worthy accident, but I'm sure there will be severe injury if we have to wait here too much longer."

"Calling 911 sounds a little extreme."

"Severe injury," CC repeated, "as in, I might not be able to stop myself from beating the hell out of you."

"What did I do?" he asked. "You're the one who told me to pull into the ditch! You're the one who wanted to get the stupid Babcock sign in the first place."

Niles could feel the sweat pouring off of him, and he could hear the rattling outside. One way or another, they were in real danger.

They could either stay in the car and melt, quite possibly to a dangerous degree, or they could stand outside with poisonous snakes. Suddenly calling 911 sounded more reasonable.

"Give me the phone," he said, taking it from her hand.

Dialling, he debated what to say. How did they end up in the ditch? He'd have to think on their feet - apparently 911 operators were quick to answer. Probably best. "Hi, um, hello. I'm sorry - this isn't exactly an *emergency* but yours is the only number that works," Niles began.

"What seems to be the problem," the operator asked.

"We've, uh, driven off the road, and we're in the middle of nowhere," he replied. "And we can clearly hear rattlesnakes around us. And the woman I'm with is a bit of a terror," he added, earning him a jab from CC. "Ouch."

"Sure, sir, I can give you the number of the tow truck company."

"No, no, no," Niles said, hurriedly. "Yours is literally the only number that works - we can't hang up."

"Ok, I'll patch you through."

As the dispatcher transferred his call, Niles told CC the progress, and hoped that they'd be rescued soon. Between the look of her legs on the dashboard, the moonlight glistening off of them, and the heat, he was melting.

"Towing. How can we help you?"

'We're trapped in a ditch, in the middle of nowhere."

"Ok, we can get you out, I'm sure. Where are you at?"

Getting out of the car to see the name of the cross street, he answered, "We're at the corner of Babcock and Luskey. It's a very secluded area."

As he returned to the car, the operator informed him that it would be an hour and a half to two hours before a tow truck could reach them.

"What? No, I'm here with a very frightened woman," he said, earning him a glare from CC. Ok, so maybe she wasn't exactly the one who was most frightened. "We're two New Yorkers stuck in the middle of rural nowhere...we need help now!"

"We'll see what we can do, sir," the operator said before hanging the phone up.

Ending the call, Niles simply looked at CC.

"Well?" she asked. "How long will it take for a tow truck to get here?"

"You don't want to know the answer to that question."

"I do - how long?"

"An hour and a half. Maybe three hours. We're pretty far off the main road."

"WHAT?"

"Well, it's true - in our search to find somewhere isolated, we ... were successful."

CC groaned. Three hours in a car, with him? In a ditch.

"I need a cigarette."

"We can't split up. What about the rules?"

"Well, come outside with me, if you insist that we stay together."

"But there are poisonous snakes out there!" Niles whined, following her out of the car to stand on the street, "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why do you have to be so annoying?" she asked, "if you insist on being attached at the hip through this ordeal, you'd better knock it off right now."

Lighting her cigarette, CC leaned against the car, looked at the stars, and cursed her terrible luck. She was stuck with her worst enemy, in a burning hot car with no air conditioning, in a snake pit, waiting half the night for a tow truck to come and rescue them. CC reflected on this for a while, until the large amount of forest that surrounded them started to bother her. As much as she hated to be ridiculous, she couldn't help but remember what Niles had said about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

"Uhhh, Niles...what were those rules again?"

"Ahhhh, so you are scared, aren't you?" he laughed.

"Of course not...I'm just...making conversation."

"Well, I believe the first rule is that we can't drink or do any kind of drugs."

CC laughed a little. "If only we had something to trip me right out of this incredibly hellish night."

"Rule number two," he continued, " is that we can't have sex..." it came out of his mouth before he could stop it, and he prayed that his true interest in that wasn't displayed on his face like a billboard.

"Ha! No chance of that, I assure you," was her answer. "That would likely kill me faster than the snakes."

Hiding more than a little hurt at the sharpness of her statement, he continued, "And the third rule is, you can never say 'I'll be right back', because if you say that, you won't be back.'

"And in theory that is what makes you safe?"

"I'd say standing in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night is inherently dangerous, Miss Babcock - but the rules mean there won't be a chainsaw wielding murder to attack. Well, in theory."

Shaking her head, CC tried not to think about such things. The fact was, she was starting to get very nervous about the entire situation, and without anything to do, she'd more than likely feel the urge to break at least one of those rules - and it was worrying her more because rule number two wasn't as abhorrent as he let on.

"Well, I just have to hope they get here soon, and we can get you to your hotel, so I can get back to Austin. Mr. Sheffield must be worried by now. We've spent well over an hour looking for your sign."

CC had almost forgotten, though how she wasn't sure. "The sign! I'll take it down now. Surely the car must be close enough."

"You want to hover over a snake pit, to take down a sign?"

"Too dangerous for you, Niles?" she asked with a tone in her voice that was unlike any he had ever heard before.

"I'm more worried about how they're going to find us, if you take down the sign."

"What?"

"We're in the middle of nowhere," he explained, "the only way the tow truck driver will be able to find us is if he's able to see the signs, which won't help us if you take them down."

CC hesitated for a moment. He was right. The problem was, if she didn't take the sign now, Niles would win, and she couldn't live with that. He would never let her hear the end of it. "Nope, the sign is coming down," she said, grabbing the mallet again and heading to the hood of the car.

Niles knew this woman well enough to know exactly what she was thinking. As she started to climb, Niles grabbed her waist to stop her. "Miss Babcock, don't. I promise not to torment you for not getting the sign."

"You promise? Not just for the rest of the night, but forever?"

Niles groaned. His grip on her waist put her in the precarious position of having her foot poised directly over his groin. If he didn't agree to her terms, he was in peril of taking one hell of a hit. "I won't - I promise. I'll never mention the sign again - nobody needs to know except for us."

"And you won't bring it up again?"

"I won't - except to marvel at your determination," he said, hoping to be convincing.

"Ok."

"Ok?" He couldn't believe it was that simple.

"I won't take down the sign - we'll wait for the tow truck to get here, you'll take me to my hotel room, and I'll get over the defeat of not getting it...but I really want it," she said with a heavy voice.

"Well, maybe another time? I think being rescued is more important, don't you?"

"I suppose so. Who knows what might happen between us if we're really stuck out here together for three hours." At his surprised look, she quickly corrected herself. "You might just drive me crazy enough that I'll have no choice but to beat you with the rubber mallet."

Niles laughed, secretly wondering what she had really thought might happen between them. "Since we're stuck - and the plan to steal the sign has been put to rest - we might as well find some way of keeping ourselves entertained until help arrives."

"Oh, yeah, let me pull out my deck of cards, and we can play a game of blackjack," she joked, a frustrated expression on her face.

"You've got to have *something* in your case to keep us entertained," Niles mock whined.

CC couldn't help but think she had more than a few things to entertain him, though none were all that appropriate on the side of the road - even if it was desolate. Plus, the rules strictly forbid this particular brand of entertainment. "I have contracts, a book, and..."

"What kind of book?"

"A suspense," she replied. "You don't want me to read that to you, do you?"

"I could read to you - but either way, a suspense seems inappropriate considering the circumstances. One murder and we're both locked in the car, waiting for serial killers."

Niles tapped his fingers against the hood of the car. "We could play 'I spy'..."

"Because when everything is black and shades there of, it's a real laugh riot, right?"

He shrugged. "I'm sorry for not driving us into a ditch near an amusement park - I'll remember that next I decide to veer off the road."

"Here's a thought," Niles said. "We could make this into a story...maybe an episode of Dallas. Instead of the story being about us, we can say it's about the Dallas characters...what would they talk about while they're waiting?

"You want to write a stupid story using TV characters?"

"I don't have a better idea for passing the time," he said as he rummaged through a few loose papers in the glove compartment.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for paper to write our story on," he said, glancing at each paper, "they all look important.

"You're going through Larry Hagman's things - that's... that's probably not a good idea," CC said, watching as he rummaged.

"Well, do YOU have paper?"

"No," she replied, watching as he flipped through a few more papers.

"Hey - he had a map - we probably could use that - if we ever get out of this ditch," he joked.

"We're *not* writing a story," CC complained. "We'll play charades?"

"Charades?"

"Yeah - it could be fun."

"Or we could write the story?"

Out of nowhere, headlights coming their way interrupted their conversation. CC fought the urge to run into the road and try to flag them down.

Using her better judgement, CC stayed put. Calling attention to herself, while disserted in a state which is famous for a story about a man who wore a mask of human skin and attacked people with chainsaws...well, maybe they would be better off to try to blend into the forest.

"A car!" Niles gasped, flashing the headlights to draw attention. If he had put even a moment's worth of thought into it, he would have known that it was a bad idea. But this was the first sign of life they had seen since driving into the ditch, and his relief had temporarily overshadowed his common sense.

"What are you doing?" CC yelled, smacking his arm. "Are you trying to get us killed?"

Niles watched as the car sped past. "We have to do something - but I'm *so* bored," he whined.

"Jeez, thanks for the compliment," CC complained. "I'm sorry I don't have a fan dance prepared to entertain you with!"

For a moment, he thought that might be more than a little entertaining. "Three hours of this... how long has it been?"

CC looked at her watch. "35 minutes. Unless you mean from when you hung up the call, then it's been just over 30."

Niles groaned. "Do you ever wonder what people do when they're trapped in weird places, with none of their things?"

"What do you mean by 'weird places'?"

"You know, shipwrecked somewhere, or trapped in a plane on the edge of a cliff, or lost in the mountains?"

"You watch too many soap operas," CC scolded.

"Maybe I do watch too many soap operas," he said, "but at least it gives us something to talk about."

"It does? I can't keep up with a chat about soaps, I don't have time to watch them."

Niles shook his head, "No, that's not what I meant. What would you do if you were in a life or death situation? What - or who - would you think about?"

"What kind of question is that?" CC asked, annoyed. She had never been comfortable talking about her personal thoughts... Especially with Niles, of all people.

"Imagine that a psycho jumped out of the trees at this very moment, and was ready to attack you. What thoughts would run through your mind? What regrets would you have about your life?"

"I'd regret getting stuck in a ditch with a domestic," she said snidely, not liking how personal this conversation was getting.

Shaking his head, Niles realized that it was pointless to try and have a serious conversation with her. As far as she was concerned, he'd always be a domestic, and nothing more. "If I were to die right now, my biggest regret would not be having a family of my own - say what you will, but I think a person's greatest legacy is the family they leave behind. It says a lot about who you are, and what is important to you. But you wouldn't understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, angrily.

"What I mean is, we have different priorities, and instead of being out here and miserable that I'm with someone that maybe I'd rather not be with, I would rather be thankful I'm not alone, but YOU... you insist on keeping this... this *distance* between us, as if my niche in life is contagious!"

His words hit her like a slap in the face - he had never spoken to her like that, and for whatever reason, it didn't feel the way their normal conversations did. He meant this, and she wasn't sure what to take from it.

"You're much too serious for someone who drives another man's car for a living," she tossed back, needing something to keep her safe from him. CC didn't want to let him see how much his words had affected her.

"What do you *want* from life, CC - just... show me one little sign that you're a human being, and that you can have fun without it being at my expense. PLEASE," he begged.

CC was speechless for a long while. He continued to stare at her, as if he was waiting for her to say something profound. She was confused - where his outburst came from, she couldn't understand.

"Don't play the innocent act, Niles," she finally said, "we both know that you give as good as you get...if not considerably more than you get! You act as though I dislike you just because you're a butler."

"Don't you?"

"No! I dislike you because you're terrible to me."

Niles looked at her, and realized that she wasn't lying to him. There was no way of confusing her words for anything more than hurt. "I'm sorry," he said tenderly, before looking away. "I always thought this was our game. I always thought this was how you wanted it to be between us - I never thought that maybe you were sick of it."

"Well, I am - I'm tired of being accused of being heartless! I'm tired of people believing the things you say. Nanny Fine and Maxwell act as if you're always right, and you're not - sometimes you're just hurtful!"

Walking to the hood of the car, Niles sat down, and leaned back. "You're not always very kind yourself," he said solemnly.

"I try to only return what you give out - sometimes I suppose I might dole out a little extra, if I think you're being especially hurtful," she admitted, joining him at the hood of the car, her fingers sliding over the hood ornament.

"But you never say anything. You just keep the game going?" he questioned, unable to comprehend what all of this was supposed to mean.

"What do you want me to do? March up to Maxwell and complain because you're being mean to me? It's not that easy. You want to know what I want from life? You want to know what I'd regret if we were to die out here? I'd regret not having real friends. Not having lovers who loved me for me, and not just for my body, or my money, or my power. I'd regret a lot of things, Niles, not the least of which is that my life seems to be running itself - I'm a day player in what can only be described as a nightmare situational comedy. Nothing changes, nothing moves forward. I'm just here to throw comments at, and to pick on."

Wow! He had never expected that she had been holding all of that inside! Now that she had let it out, he wasn't sure what to say next. It thought carefully before speaking again.

"So, you're saying that you don't want to be the supporting character anymore...you want to be the star? You want to have a real story that goes somewhere...progress..."

"Yes," she interrupted, "I want progress. I want to be able to believe that in ten years, my life will have somehow evolved from what it is now. That I'll have more than a Pomeranian to discuss my day with."

Niles thought about all of this for a moment, and realized that in her own way, she was asking for what everyone else wanted, and deserved. CC Babcock wanted to be loved, and not for just being a woman, but for being a very unique, brilliant, beautiful woman. She wasn't being unreasonable, and in fact, she was being very human.

"I never thought that you wanted anything more than Mr. Sheffield," Niles said calmly, watching her response.

"I never wanted Maxwell - I wanted what he represented..."

Nodding, Niles looked up to the sky, and saw millions of flawless stars, all burning brightly and clearly. "I know what you mean," he said easily. And in a moment, his hand reached across the hood of the car and took hers in his. "Did you ever think of saying these things before?"

"I've always been in the background," CC said. "I've never felt like I deserved it."

Shaking his head in disagreement, Niles shifted closer. "You deserve more," he replied simply, before using his free hand to tilt her face to his.

Niles slowly lowered his lips to hers, but before they touched, she interrupted him.

"Niles, don't," she whispered, putting her palms on his chest and gently pushing. "I don't want pity." Given their conversation, of course he would feel sorry for her - or so she thought. Even Niles, the man who existed for the sole purpose of tormenting her, had feelings. Clearly her outburst had stirred some guilt in him.

Niles shook his head, his admiration showing clearly on his face. "I promise you...This isn't about pity, CC."

Somehow she believed him, and this time, when he lowered his head, he captured her mouth in a gentle kiss. They kissed under the stars for what seemed like forever, until they parted, needing air.

"Niles?" she asked quietly, "What's happening to us?"

Niles smiled. "We're finally starting to understand each other."

He kissed her once again, and soon the bright lights of an approaching tow truck interrupted them.

"Looks like our ride is here," Niles said, sliding his fingers over the smooth lines of her face.

She didn't want to open her eyes; his kiss was so full of promise, and for the first time in her life she felt like there was something about *here*. "Great timing, huh?" she wined, squeezing his hand.

"Impeccable. But at least we're not stranded out here all night. I guess they took your threats seriously," he teased, helping her off the hood of the car.

As the tow truck backed up in front of them, Niles stood with CC at the edge of the road, his arms wrapped protectively around her, as if to keep her safe from the rest of the world.

"You guys were lucky - it's been a busy night. But my last two tows were pretty easy," the young man said, clearly oblivious to the intimate moment he interrupted.

"Do you think you can get it out?" CC asked, worried that they might have damaged the car.

Grabbing his flashlight, the driver ducked down low on the ground. "Wow, that front wheel isn't even touching," he said, checking out the rut that the car was in.

"I saw that," Niles said.

"I can get this out," the driver said, a cocky tone in his voice. As the cables were hooked up to the car, Niles wondered what it all meant that their adventure was almost over.

Who would have thought that, after everything CC had been through that day, she wished that the tow truck driver would have taken much longer to arrive.

They watched in silence, just holding each other, as the driver did his work. Soon the car was free, costing them exactly fifty-two dollars, which Niles insisting on paying himself. A small price for such a wonderful adventure.

Taking her hand, Niles led her to the passenger door, opening it for her and watching her climb in.

"This has been one hell of a night, hm?" Niles smiled as he watched her put her seatbelt on, and carefully closed the door.

"It has been - we've had to endure just about everything... snakes, ditches, potential masked-murderers... our feelings..."

"That last one was pretty scary," he teased.

As he walked around the car, CC watched the headlights shine on him, and wondered how she let it go so long before they had that talk. It wasn't the first time the emotions had hit her, but maybe it was the first time she didn't have somewhere to run.

Niles slid into the car beside her, and fastened his seatbelt. "I guess we're on back on the road, and in search of this ever-elusive hotel. It must be exclusive if it takes this much effort to get to," he joked.

"Well, that or we're really lost. But suddenly I don't mind so much," CC admitted. "Good company, a beautiful night - no rattle snakes. What more could I ask for?"

Pretending to think about it, Niles enjoyed the way she narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips at her. "A wonderfully handsome man to whisk them into the night?"

"Check."

"Hmm... What about a fantastically understanding boss, who's going to understand when you don't make it back to Austin until much later in the day than originally planned?"

"What did you have in mind?" she asked with a small smile.

"Well, I think we should talk about everything that's happened tonight, before we have the chance to run away from it."

CC was confused. Was he trying to talk his way out of the progress they had made, or move towards something with her?

"We've done this before," he continued, "moved toward...toward something, only to pretend that it had never happened. One step forward, three steps back."

"It's been interesting," CC agreed. "All this progress, and then three steps back would put us where, exactly?" she asked, as if considering the possibility.

Niles pretended to think about it. "I don't know - which comes first, the chicken or the egg?"

CC laughed at his reference to that night in Maxwell's office. "Ok, well, we definitely don't want to repeat that."

"So?" There was a tone of worry in his voice, and CC could see the fear in his eyes. Niles genuinely was putting himself on the line, and offering his heart to her. The ball was completely in her court.

"I'm not going anywhere - unless it's forward. And with you," she said tenderly. "And in case there's any more questions, I'd just like to clarify that I feel there is great potential for us to break 'the rules' tonight..."

With a twinkle in his eyes, Niles' heart practically exploded for love for this woman. "How great is that potential?" he asked, teasingly.

"I'd say it's guaranteed, if you're...up for it," she said, with a mischievous grin.

Niles beamed at her, and then started the car. "And if we can ever find this mysterious hotel that allegedly exists on this road," he said, pulling back onto Babcock road.

"We'll have to figure out what to tell Maxwell and everyone else about where you've been tonight," she added, "preferably a story that doesn't involve crashing Larry Hagman's car into the ditch."

Grabbing her hand in his, he used his other hand to steer them back towards civilization.

After a few more minutes of driving in the direction they had set out in, Niles decided to turn them around and try the other side of the highway. There was no sign of life ahead of them, and as much as he enjoyed holding her hand and watching the moonlight reflect off of her hair, eventually he wanted to test this theory of probability.

Twenty minutes of backtracking later, they were back to the highway, and as soon as passing under it, CC grinned. "It's right there," she said, pointing to the side of the road - barely fifty feet off the road was a sign indicating the driveway to the hotel.

"Good call on the right turn," he joked, as he signalled and turned.

"Well, just think, it was meant to be this way - if we hadn't gotten lost, you'd be back in Austin, getting Maxwell and the family settled into bed for the night," CC said, unusually optimistic. She could get used to feeling this way.

"I'd much rather put you to bed," Niles agreed. "I think our cover story should be a flat tire," he said, thinking about the options. "Unless, that is, you want to tell them the truth?"

"Oh, now that's a novel idea - we've not been very good at being honest with ourselves. We could start a new trend and be honest with them?"

"We could," Niles said, waiting for her reply.

"Yes, we could," CC repeated again, as if stuck on that one thought, unable think further.

"So..." he prompted her.

CC smiled, "I have nothing to hide, Niles. I really don't have a problem with everyone knowing that you were with me tonight - as long as you're prepared for the interrogation that Nanny Fine will surely subject you to."

Shrugging, Niles tried to act macho, and put his best Texas twang into his accent. "I'll just say hey - I was with my woman."

CC burst out laughing, and couldn't stop to catch her breath.

"Was it that bad of an accent?" Niles asked, slightly hurt.

Gasping to catch her breath, CC mere nodded. "With your accent... that just doesn't work," she said, still laughing. "But I do like the sounds of being your woman - even if it is macho, chauvinistic, and hilarious considering you're more domestic than I am," she said truthfully.

"So maybe I'll just say I was with my man?"

Poking him in ribs, CC looked at him and smiled. "After tonight, you won't still make those jokes," she promised, and suddenly Niles was much more interested in getting inside and registering for their room. "Park this car. We'll figure out tomorrow later - we're opting for the honest-but not too honest - route. No crashed cars."

"I can live with that," Niles said, as he pulled the car into a free spot. There was no way he was letting a valet touch that car - not after the trouble they had already had.

Getting out of the car quickly, he raced around to open the door for her. "Madame," he said, extending his hand to her.

"Ohh," she cooed, as he helped her out of the seat.

Walking toward the hotel entrance, CC stopped. "What about my luggage?" she asked, realizing they had left it behind.

"I think that can wait - is there anything you want right away?"

"Well, I might have a thing or two you might want," she said, her tone low.

Niles grinned. "You're everything I could ever want, and then some," he assured her.

"Oh, we are so breaking the rules tonight," she said, squeezing his hand. "Let's register."

The end

*Note: Cheryl and I would like to point out that in the interest in fandom, and keeping the story moving, the point after the accident (where Niles and CC start a relationship) is where fact and fiction separate. As much as we love each other, we're not quite the star-crossed lovers that our beloved Niles and CC are. That bit – the relationship – is for you and we hope you enjoy it, as much as we enjoyed acting it out by taillight, because Courtney didn't seem to have any available (but not important) paper in her car. ;) And as for falling over, I did do it on concrete, and have the scars (and fractured ankle) to prove it.