Title: Bedtime Stories
Author: Darley1101
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Alex and Izzie
Premise: Season 5, unable to sleep alone after the debacle with Rebecca Alex turns to Izzie. Izzie has her own night time demons that have her welcoming Alex back into her bed. In the dark of night they start spilling the truths of their lives. Will it bring them closer or tear them apart for good?
Author's Note: I wrote this a couple years ago but it is one of my favorites. Hope you enjoy!
One
Cleaning Out My Closet
Silently, mindful of the soft snores coming from the room just down the hall, Izzie tip toed the short distance between her room and Alex's. It was her night. Last night had been his. There were nights, like tonight, when it was freezing cold and the wooden floor threatened to make her toes go numb, that she wished every night was his night.
She couldn't remember whose idea it had been, them sleeping together. It had started shortly after Rebecca's breakdown, when Alex had begged her to stay. There had been no choice really, her heart wouldn't let her leave. So, she had stayed, curled up next to him, holding him tightly while he silently fought the demons that warred in his mind, whispering stupid stories about her past.
At first they spent every night in his bed. It had seemed logical, as he was the one who couldn't sleep. The trouble was, neither could she. His bed was too hard, and her feet always ended up tangled in the covers. So, they had compromised. They would alternate nights. One night in his bed, one night in her's. It would have made more sense to do it weekly, but neither of them made a move to suggest it.
Izzie tapped her fingers on the glass window that dominated the upper portion of Alex's door, then eased it open. He was curled on his side, wearing his regulation black tank top and gray sweat pants. Drawing back the covers, she eased her body down next to his. Right off her frozen toes sought the warmth his body provided. She wiggled her body up next to his, her feet finagling their way between his legs.
"What the hell!" Alex sucked in his breath, his body twisting around so he faced her. "Haven't you ever heard of socks?" Even amidst his objections, he shifted his body to warm her's.
"Ever hear of not mocking your best friend," she shot back. She wasn't sure why she had referred to herself as his best friend, it had slipped out before she could stop it. Some how they had become just that though; each other's best friend. For a split second she felt some guilt over replacing George with Alex but it quickly subsided. Things hadn't been the same with George since their disaster of a romantic relationship. "Besides, my feet wouldn't be so cold if you could just concede that my room is better."
"Only in your mind," Alex grumbled. He sighed, then partially buried his face in his pillow. "You don't have to keep doing this you know."
"What? And miss out on having my feet warmed? Ha. You're not getting rid of my cold toes that easily mister." Izzie snuggled closer. She touched her forehead to his. "It's okay Alex," she said softly. "I don't mind. Really."
"I don't get it. I use to be able to sleep just fine." His breath was hot on her neck. She shivered, then buried the yearning that had taken root. She had mistaken friendship for something more once before. She couldn't afford to do it again, not with Alex, not when he meant so much to her. "I can't stop thinking about her though."
"Do you want to talk about it?" They played this game every night. He would confess to not being able to stop thinking about 'her', and she would ask if he wanted to talk. He never did, but she kept offering on the off chance that one day he might. She was some what grateful that he kept his thoughts to himself, as she wasn't sure she was strong enough to listen to him mourn Rebecca.
"I use to think it was her way of not dealing with my dad's shit." Alex said quietly. Izzie's lips parted slightly, her eyes widened in shock. He was talking. He was finally talking. And it wasn't about Rebecca; it was his mother. "That she was doing what I did. Pretending she was any place but there. Any place where he wasn't."
"Maybe she was," Izzie suggested, her voice a mere whisper. "Maybe she went some where, became someone, who didn't have an abusive husband." Her fingers gently stroked his bicep. To and fro, she trailed her fingers, her face intent on his. "I know that is what I would do."
"No," Alex shook his head. "You wouldn't stay. Especially if you had a child. You would leave."
Izzie started to dispute his claim, then stopped. He wouldn't understand. He was, in many ways, a lost little boy who needed his mother. She couldn't bring his mother back, nobody could, but she could be there for him. Even if it meant bearing her own painful past. "I ever tell you that I used to pretend I was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman? Minus the prostitute part of course." She felt his hand settle on her thigh. She sucked in her breath, ignoring the tingle that shot up her leg. "I figured that if someone like her could find a rich man willing to over look her past then so could I. Closest I got was the son of the mine's foreman. He was everything I thought I wanted. Not that sixteen year old girls really know what they want." She closed her eyes, concentrated on regulating her heartbeat. She needed strength to get through the next part. "I made it so easy for him. I wanted to believe everything he was saying. I was so blind to his faults, to the fact that he was telling everyone about every single thing we did." She gulped down the lump forming in her throat. "I thought that the rumors were made up by jealous girls who hated me because I had him and they didn't. I didn't want to believe that he could be so mean, so cruel. I found the hard way that he was." Her breath whooshed out of her mouth. She could do this. Alex had spilled his heart before her. She could return the favor. Telling him was no different than telling Bailey or George. Oh, who was she kidding? It was completely different. She had been matter of fact with them, with Alex she was ripping open old wounds and letting the pain ooze out. "The first words out of his mouth when I told him I was pregnant was he wasn't responsible. Girls like me, girls who grew up in trailer parks and spread their legs for any boy who asked, should know how to keep from getting into that sort of situation." There was no stopping the solitary tear that crept out of the corner of her eye. "I wasn't like that though. I was a virgin before I met him, and I thought everything would be okay if he pulled out. Looking back, I can't believe I was ever stupid enough to fall for that."
"You weren't stupid," Alex whispered, his fingers reaching out to brush a few stray curls from her cheek. "You cared about him. You wanted to see the good in him."
She nodded. She had wanted to see the good in 'him'. "There wasn't any good though. Just in my head. I lived in a pretty world where the rich guy was going to make everything okay. Instead, he made my life worse. If I was made fun of and teased before, it was nothing like after people found out I was pregnant. Yeah, there were other girls in the same predicament, but they didn't have some stupid prick telling people they were lying whores. I knew I couldn't keep her. I knew that I wanted her life to be better than mine. I didn't want her to have to dream about prince charming rescuing her. I wanted her to have a life where she didn't need to be rescued. So, I did what I thought was best. I gave her up. And, god it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do." She blinked back the sheen of tears that had formed. "It was the right thing to do, though. For her. For me." Her eyes closed again as Alex gathered her close. She was suppose to be comforting him. Instead, he was the one offering her solace. "It's so easy, Alex. It is so easy to see only the good in someone. To be blinded by their faults because you need them to be some one else, some one good."
"Do you think that's true? That my mom didn't realize how bad he was because she wanted him to be good?" There was no missing the sarcasm in his voice. She sighed, then brushed her lips across his cheek before twisting her body so that her back was up flush to his chest. His arm wrapped around her waist, his fingers grazing just under her breast. "Night, Iz," he murmured in her ear. She whispered a good night in return before closing her eyes.