My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic belongs to Hasbro, and Blueblood's self-centered musings represent his own opinions. For more on yahoos, read Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift. Thanks to dramaticsoprano and Pretzel for beta-reading this.

Prince Blueblood snuck out of the wrecked gala, determined to get away from all the animals running loose, and the crazed pegasus mare that had chased them in. But even her shout had not driven Rarity's tirade out of his head. "Most uncharming prince" indeed. How could she have missed his obvious charms? And why did she have to go and—
"Hey, Prince Blueblood?" Blueblood turned. There was Hippolytus, a beefy white unicorn stallion with a gray mane and a cutie mark of a spear. He was an old buddy of Blueblood's, who aspired to join the palace guard. "You've got something in your fur."
"I know. That mare—no, nag—I was with shook cake into it just before dumping me."
"Dumping?"
"Yes. She told me I had no charms or royalty and was a pain."
"She should have talked to me," said Hippolytus. "You don't know what pain is until Flying Saucer has levitated a boulder over your head and told you to marry her daughter or else." Flying Saucer was an author of fantasy stories of the sort Blueblood thought really cheesy—worlds where there was no need for anypony to set the moon or sun in their courses—in series where the latter even moved at all. And Saucer had even stooped to writing plays for the most recent continuity of a foals' stage series called My Little Yahoo. What Blueblood's brother and many other grown stallions saw in this relaunch, Blueblood could not tell, but— "The wedding's next week," continued Hippolytus, "and the foal's due in eight months."
"At least you got lucky with a mare."
"Oh? You know what Starblast is like? She's got a shapely rump, but neither intelligence nor horse sense. But enough about me. We need to get you cleaned up."
"How did Rarity miss my charm, anyway?" Blueblood suppressed some snickers as Frederic Horseshoepin passed by looking like he was still in pain. So the retard in the candy dress had, in fact, kicked him where it had looked like she had.
"I don't know," said Hippolytus. "I'd ask Princess Celestia, but she left as soon as order was restored."
"Knowing Princess Celestia, she'd probably take Rarity's si-"
"AH, PRINCE BLUEBLOOD AND HIS FRIEND THE GUARD IN TRAINING!" The two stallions knew before turning around that it was Princess Luna; nopony else used that loud, polyphonic voice in this day and age. "WE HEAR CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER, HIPPOLYTUS!" Obviously, she only knew about the wedding, and not the circumstances.
"Mommy..." muttered Blueblood.
"F-F-Fine, th-thanks," stammered Hippolytus. When he had caught his breath, he added "S-sorry, your Highness, bad evening. You are aware of how the gala was wrecked?"
"YES, OUR ROYAL SISTER DID TELL US!"
"And th-that R-Rarity," said Blueblood.
Luna's expression grew darker. "YES, OUR ROYAL SISTER ALSO TOLD US ABOUT HOW ABOMINABLY THOU HAST TREATED ONE OF OUR ROYAL BENEFACTORS!" Luna's voice, even louder, was blowing bits of cake off Blueblood's coat."THE LEAST THOU COULDST HAVE DONE WOULD HAVE BEEN TO SHOW SOME RESPECT TO THE WIELDER OF AN ELEMENT OF HARMONY!"
"E-E-E-Element... of… of H-Harmony?" Blueblood was taken aback
"GENEROSITY, TO BE PRECISE!"
"Th-then why did she g-g-grudge me all she did for me? And who invited her anyway, or the yellow-and-pink nutcase, the price-gouger selling low-grade fare, or the pink imbecile? And did I see them with the pathetic Wonderbolt wannabe and that Sparkle loser? The one Princess Celestia chased off to Ponyville a while back?"
"WHAT DOST THOU MEAN, LOSER! TWILIGHT SPARKLE WAS SENT TO PONYVILLE TO HARNESS THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, PRINCE BLUEBLOOD! FURTHERMORE, THOU HAST JUST INSULTED ALL SIX WIELDERS OF THE ELEMENTS! TO START WITH..."
Blueblood looked like a deer facing a Buffalo stampede. As Luna paused for breath, the Prince was sure that he heard Hippolytus murmuring "Have fun" while leaving the prince to Luna's lecture.