A/N: So, this is my first fanfiction! This was originally supposed to be much shorter, but the story just kept going and going, and I couldn't stop writing! I hope it doesn't seem dragged out, but sorry if it does.
Anyway, I just want to make an apology right now to all the Snape fans out there… He isn't actually in this story. I know, I know, how can I have a Lily/James story without Snape?! I debated about having him in here for a long time, but I decided that it would just be more confusing and he just didn't really fit in the story very well. So, let's just say, this story takes place after Snape calls Lily a Mudblood. Okay? Okay. On with the story!
It was the start of his sixth year at Hogwarts and James was excited. Sirius had moved in with him over the summer after running away, and now the two were boarding the train to Hogwarts. James could tell it was going to be a good year. Secretly, James was anticipating seeing Lily again. Summers always seemed long because he didn't get to see her for a few months. But in a way, he liked seeing her after the summer months. He was always pleasantly surprised at how much more beautiful she seemed. And James dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, she might finally agree to go out with him this year. He was going to try his hardest to win her over.
As James and Sirius neared their usual compartment, Sirius suddenly stopped in his tracks.
"I don't think we want to go this way, mate."
"Why?" James asked, confused.
"Trust me, we should just find a different compartment," Sirius insisted.
"But we've always sat in that compartment. We'll just kick out whatever git is in there now." And with that, James shoved past Sirius... And smacked straight into Ridrick Danes.
"Sorry," James said, shuffling into his compartment. Lily was the only one in there, which was not unusual. She occasionally shared their compartment, especially since she had stopped speaking to Snape. James could see no reason Sirius hadn't wanted to come in here. James turned to Sirius as he walked in the compartment.
"Don't know what you were fussing about. It's only Lily," James said.
"Right," Sirius said, with a pointed look at Lily, making her blush.
Soon Remus and Peter joined them. The boys got settled in as the train took off. James couldn't help but notice that Lily seemed especially radiant this year. He wondered what could have made her so happy.
"Why are you staring at me?" Lily demanded, pulling James from his thoughts.
"No reason," James said quickly, looking away.
Before Lily had a chance to reply, a Hufflepuff girl in their year named Celine came bursting through the compartment door.
"Oh my gosh, Lily! Why didn't you tell me you were dating Ridrick!? I'm so happy for you; he's so cute!" Celine exclaimed, sitting down next to Lily.
Lily said something in reply but James couldn't make out what she said. The world seemed to slow down as James tried to grasp what Celine had said. Lily was dating Ridrick. Lily and Ridrick were dating. Suddenly, Sirius' weird behavior made sense. Ridrick must have been in the compartment with Lily before he had gotten in there. He had literally walked straight into Ridrick and not figured it out. Suddenly, the year did not seem so great, and James had a hard time remembering why he had ever thought it would be. Lily's voice cut him out of his thoughts again.
"He asked me out the last day of term last year," she said.
"Oh that's so cute!" Celine exclaimed again. James wondered why she had to practically shout everything. Couldn't she just say things a little quieter?
"Where is your hunk, anyway?" Celine asked. This caused Lily to blush so much, her face almost matched her hair.
"He's just catching up with his friends now, but I'm meeting him later."
Lily looked over at James then. He just stared back lifelessly. It didn't matter what she thought of him, or how mad she got at him, or what he did to win her attention. She was with Ridrick. Nothing else seemed to matter. Lily looked away, with a slightly confused expression.
"Well, anyway," Celine said, "I just wanted to say congratulations. I'm gunna go find Alice and Frank. See you later!" With that, Celine left the compartment.
An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. Nobody seemed to know what to say. James was looking morosely out the window. Sirius and Remus were looking between James and Lily with concern and sadness. Peter just sat there, looking frightened as usual. Lily just looked confused.
"Um, did I do something?" she asked.
"Isn't your boyfriend waiting for you?" James spat.
Lily looked taken aback, and then angrily left the compartment without a word.
"James I-" Remus began, but James cut him off with a glare his friends had never been on the receiving end of. The rest of the train ride was silent.
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Lily walked off the train hand in hand with Ridrick. He was smiling down at her, his tawny hair falling in his bright blue eyes. She smiles weakly back. He could tell she was still thinking about James and his hostility towards her.
"Lily, I hate to see you like this. Forget Potter, okay? He's just being immature."
"Yeah, you're right," Lily said, though she was still a little upset and angry at Potter for being so rude to her. She hadn't even done anything! What did Potter care if she was dating Ridrick? Sure, Potter had asked her out a few times, but it was always just as a joke. At least, she had always assumed it was. Now she wasn't so sure. But she was happy with Ridrick. He was kind and respectful towards her. He never played dumb pranks or teased her. He was just what she wanted, she told herself. They made it to the Great Hall without Lily even realizing it.
"I have to go sit at my table, but I'll walk you to the Gryffindor entrance later, okay?" Ridrick said.
"Yeah, okay," Lily said, kissing him quickly and walking to her table while Ridrick walked to the Ravenclaw table. She chose a seat near Frank Longbottom and his girlfriend, Alice.
Lily had grown close to Alice over the last year, and was glad for a chance to catch up. After the sorting had finished and the feast had begun, they began talking. Eventually the conversation led to the strange occurrence in the compartment.
"I just have no idea why he was suddenly so angry. James and I argue all the time but that was the first time I've ever seen him genuinely angry." Alice and Frank shared a knowing look.
"Lily... I feel this may be something you have to figure out on your own," Alice said slowly.
"Yeah, I agree. It's not fair to James if we tell you. Either he tells you, or you figure it out," Frank continued.
"Agh, you're just confusing me more! What do I have to figure out? Why James is so rude and arrogant? Because I already know the answer to that. His ego."
"Oh, Lily," Alice said, "In time, you'll see."
"You are no help at all," Lily said, but she smiled and laughed with the couple anyway. Ridrick came up behind her then.
"Hello, darling. Are you finished? Or should I go back to my table for a few more minutes. I am rather tired though so I would like to head up soon," he said, apologetically.
"Oh, we can head up now, no problem," she said, getting up and waving to Alice and Frank. Ridrick led her out the Great Hall by her hand, softly pulling her along.
"I know the way, Ridrick. You don't have to guide me to my own tower," Lily said with a teasing voice.
"Sorry," he said, falling into pace with her so he was no longer pulling her, but just holding her hand.
"It's fine," she said, giving him a smile that he returned warmly.
When they reached Gryffindor tower, Ridrick leaned in and kissed her. He smiled as he pulled away.
"Lily, I have something to tell you," he said. Lily could hear footsteps drawing near, but she ignored them and looked at Ridrick curiously.
"Lily, I just wanted to tell you that you're the most amazing person I've ever met and I can't imagine being with anyone else. You're just so perfect and I love being with you and... What I'm really trying to say is that, Lily, I love you," he tumbled out.
Lily was shocked. She didn't know what to say. She was happy with him, yes, but love? They had only been dating for two and a half months. Could you love someone in such a short time?
She had been so focused on Ridrick's confession that she had failed to notice the footsteps that had reached the portrait door. She only remembered when she heard a steely voice behind her saying the password. The voice sent chills down her spine. It belonged to James Potter. And he was the absolute last person she would have wanted overhearing that confession.
"Lily?" Ridrick asked, tentatively. Lily had to answer.
"Ridrick, I don't know what to say. I'm happy with you, but... I don't want to say 'I love you' unless I am sure I mean it... And right now I'm still unsure."
"Oh," Ridrick said, sadly.
"I'm sorry, Ridrick," Lily said to him.
"It's ok. I'm pretty tired so, uh, good night, Lily. See you tomorrow." With that, he hurried away, leaving Lily standing there alone in the hall.
"Don't worry, deary. He'll be alright," a voice spoke. It took Lily a moment to realize it had been the Fat Lady who had spoken.
"Yeah, I hope so," Lily replied sadly. She gave the Fat Lady the password and ran up to her dormitory quickly, just wanting to get some sleep. It had been a long day.
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James couldn't sleep. Ridrick's declaration was all he could think about. Ridrick loved Lily? And more importantly, did she love him back? He wished he had stayed long enough to hear her reply, but all he had wanted to do was run as far away from them as possible. He had forced himself to calmly give the password and walk in the common room though. And now he didn't know how Lily felt about Ridrick. Maybe he didn't want to know. Maybe he would be better off not knowing. Maybe it would help him get over her. But James knew, deep down, that there was no getting over Lily. This was their sixth year at Hogwarts, and the sixth year he had loved Lily. If he hadn't move on by now, he never would.
But now he didn't know what to do. He didn't think he could ignore her. No, she was too difficult to ignore. As hard as it was going to be, he had to be her friend. Just her friend. It would be torturous, and he would have to deal with Ridrick, and at the end of their arguments he wouldn't be able to ask her out anymore, and he couldn't touch her as much anymore, but he would be able to talk to her, and be around her and that was better than nothing. Even if it hurt like hell. He would do it for her.
The next morning, James woke up exhausted but determined. 'Be Lily's friend' he thought to himself. He got up, dressed, and went down to the Great Hall where Sirius, Peter, and Remus were waiting for him.
"Hey, Prongs," Sirius said.
"Hey," James replied, "So, I've been thinking. Should I go apologize to Lily?"
"Well, you were quite rude to her," Remus answered softly.
"Yeah. I know you were upset about her boyfriend, but she had no idea why you got so angry. She looked pretty shocked at your outburst," Sirius said.
"Ok, I'll go apologize then," James said, as he got up from his seat at the table. He quickly scanned the table and found Lily sitting with Alice and Frank. He walked over to her.
"Hey, Lily. Can we talk for a minute?"
"Why should I talk to you, Potter? You were rude to me for no reason yesterday, and unless you came to apologize, I have nothing to say to you," she said, not even looking at him.
"I did come to apologize." She whirled around to look at him, utterly bewildered.
"What?" she asked, incredulously.
"Can we go out in the hall for a minute?" he asked her.
"Um, yeah," she said, still looking shocked. He led her a little ways past the Great Hall doors to a small deserted corridor. He turned to look at her.
"I am sorry about snapping at you on the train, Lily," James told her.
"Why did you? Did I do something to make you angry?"
"No, no, you didn't do anything really, I just, well, I was... I'm just sorry, okay?" he muttered.
James knew he was avoiding telling her the truth but what was he supposed to say? 'Oh, well I've loved you for years and I'm insanely jealous that you have a boyfriend that isn't me.' Yeah, that would go over well.
"Ok," Lily said, a little skeptically, "Apology accepted."
"Lily? What are you doing out here?" Ridrick was coming towards them, looking suspicious. He reached for Lily and all but yanked her into him.
"Ridrick," Lily said, pulling herself from his grasp.
"I was just apologizing to Lily for my rude behavior on the train," James said quickly.
"You couldn't apologize in the Great Hall?" Ridrick said, narrowing his eyes at James.
"Ridrick, we just came into the hallway so we could hear each other better and so James didn't have to apologize in front of everyone," Lily explained, looking at Ridrick.
"Well, I was worried when I couldn't find you," Ridrick said, with a little harshness in his voice.
James looked at Lily to find her expression mirrored his own. They were both confused as to why Ridrick seemed so angry.
"Ridrick, you don't need to keep tabs on me. I can handle myself. It's Hogwarts, and I could walk blind through these corridors," Lily said.
"Let's just go back to the Great Hall," Ridrick suggested suddenly, and practically dragged Lily away. James followed silently behind. As Lily went through the doors, James was surprised to see Ridrick turn around to face him.
"Listen, Potter," he said, looking frightfully angry, "Lily is mine. Don't even think about taking her from me, or you'll regret it. Got it?"
James was not one to who was easily frightened, but the look in Ridrick's eyes made him take a step back.
"Yeah, got it," James replied.
Ridrick seemed satisfied, and went through the doors to his Ravenclaw table. James headed to his seat.
"So, how'd it go?" Sirius asked as soon as James had sat down.
"Uh, Lily accepted my apology, but then Ridrick came and pulled Lily back here. He was kinda angry. And then he threatened me."
"He what?!" Sirius exclaimed.
"He said that Lily was his and if I tried to take her away I would regret it," James said, "and he had this look in his eyes. Like he really would hurt me or anyone who took Lily away from him."
"Ridrick? He always seemed... Not angry" Remus said, looking confused.
"Well, this Ridrick was pretty angry," James replied.
"I hope Lily will be alright with him," Sirius said, looking over at Lily. The friends exchanged worried glances.
"This is Lily we're talking about," Remus said.
"Normally I wouldn't be worried about her, but you didn't see his face. I'm not sure if even Lily could handle him angry. He looks... Dangerous," James replied. The friends made a silent pact to keep an eye on Lily.
Breakfast past, then Transfiguration and Potions. As the four friends trudged through the corridor towards the Gryffindor common room, the sounds of a heated argument wafted through the hall.
"Look, I'm sorry you're upset, but I don't really see what the big deal is!" a girl's voice shouted. The four stopped in their tracks. It was Lily. They all huddled close to the wall to listen without being seen.
"You were alone with him! That's the big deal!"
"Ridrick, he was just apologizing!"
"He could have apologized in the Great Hall! He just wanted you alone because he was trying to make a move on you!" Lily groaned.
"That's ridiculous. Potter was just APOLOGIZING! That is the only thing we talked about. He didn't try to make a move on me. He knows I have a boyfriend and he respects those boundaries."
"Yeah, he will now," Ridrick said, darkly.
"What? What do you mean he will now?"
"Let's just say Potter and I had a little chat."
"Did you threaten him?!" Lily asked, incredulously.
"I told him to stay away from you."
"I can't believe you! You shouldn't have to threaten anyone. You should trust me enough to know that I would never cheat on you!" Lily shouted.
"Lily I-"
"No, Ridrick. If you ever threaten my friends again, we will be over. Understand?"
The four friends could hear retreating footsteps, and took their chance to run to the common room. It was empty when they arrived.
"Wow, I see what you mean about Angry Ridrick. He's sounds scary," Remus said.
"Lily needs to dump that git," Sirius said.
"Agreed," the other three said in unison. Suddenly, the portrait swung open, revealing Lily, still flushed from the argument.
"Oh, Potter, I'm glad I found you," she said, walking towards him.
"I just wanted to apologize for what Ridrick said. I was so angry when I found out."
"Oh, I bet," Sirius said, earning an elbow to the ribs from James.
"It's fine," James said. "Just promise me something?"
"Okay?" Lily said curiously.
"Be careful." Lily and James held eye contact, and James hoped she would understand. Ridrick's temper was dangerous.
"Yeah. Of course," she replied, and went to her dormitory.
"Can you believe it? Only the first day of classes and we already have Potions homework!" Sirius exclaimed suddenly, causing them all to groan.
"Better get started," Peter said, speaking for the first time since breakfast. They all agreed and started the long assignment.
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Lily was confused. And though she'd never admit it, she was scared. Ridrick's behavior was completely strange. They had never gotten in a fight until today; she had never even seen him angry until today. What had changed him? She wondered if it was about his declaration yesterday night. Could he be so angry because she didn't love him yet? Or was he really just angry at her for talking to Potter?
It had been an hour since their fight. She figured that was enough time for them both to have cooled down and decided to go look for him. She really wanted to sort this out. She got off her bed and went down the stairs to the common room where she saw Potter, Sirius, Remus, and Peter surrounded by their Potions books. She resisted the urge to laugh at the unusual scene.
"This is certainly something I never thought I would see. You four doing homework," she said, letting a little laugh slip.
"I'm hurt," Sirius said sarcastically, wearing a fake expression of pain.
"I'm leaving before you all get distracted by me and find something better to do. This is a rare occasion that shouldn't be spoiled," Lily said, smiling.
"What makes you think that you are a distraction?" James challenged, with his signature smirk.
"I don't know Potter, you tell me. After all, you are the one that's always staring at me," she retorted with a smile. She turned and left before he had a chance to reply. She walked into the hall and thought about where Ridrick might be. He was quite studious; maybe she should try the library. No, she thought, the library wasn't somewhere to go when you were angry. She thought harder, and then it hit her. Ridrick loved water. He would almost certainly be by the lake. Lily quickly walked to the front doors and out on the dark grounds. She could barely make out a figure by the lake, and quietly approached it.
"Hey," she said to Ridrick.
"Hi," he said, looking at her, "Look, I'm really sorry about earlier. I guess I was just jealous."
"You should have just said that in the first place," Lily said kindly, laying a hand on Ridrick's shoulder.
"I know. I'm just so afraid because you don't love me." 'Aha,' Lily thought, 'so the real problem comes to light.'
"Is that what you're worried about? Ridrick, just because I don't love you yet, doesn't mean I don't care about you. I do care about you, I'm just not ready to say I love you," she explained.
"I know," he said.
"Okay, good. I couldn't sleep without talking to you first." Lily smiled at him and he smiled back.
"It's getting pretty late though," he stated, "We should probably head in. I'll walk you to your tower."
Ridrick walked her to the Gryffindor entrance, kissed her goodbye, and went to his own dormitory. Lily walked through the common room to see a few other students, but there was no sign of James or his friends. She continued her way up to her bed, and settled in for the night.
The next morning, Lily woke up feeling refreshed. She walked down to the Great Hall, and saw that Frank and Alice were sitting next to James and his three friends.
"Hey guys," she said, sitting across from Alice, next to Remus. She noticed immediately that Remus looked awful. His skin was pale, emphasizing the dark bags under his eyes. He looked exhausted, like he had been up all night. On closer inspection, Lily noticed small scratches on his hands that were barely noticeable.
"Remus, are you okay?" Lily whispered worriedly to him. He looked startled for a moment, then quickly replied.
"Yeah, fine, just a bad night's sleep."
"But the scratches," Lily said, unconvinced.
"It's nothing," he said.
She sensed there was something going on, but decided to drop it for now. She would find out soon enough.
"So, how did the homework go?" Lily asked the group.
"Fine," Sirius said.
He sounded tired. In fact, now that she looked, all four boys looked tired. What had they been doing last night? She could see that now was not the best time for a conversation with them. They weren't even talking to each other. Lily looked up to see Ridrick headed towards her. She got up to meet him.
"Good morning," he said cheerfully, kissing her. She just smiled in return. Today they had Defense Against the Dark Arts together. They walked to the class in a comfortable silence.
"Don't show me up too much today," Ridrick teased as they neared the classroom.
"Oh, I'll try not to," Lily teased back. They walked into the class and took their seats as other kids began to fill in. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were the last to come in, Lily noticed.
They were learning about complicated hexes today. The class passed by quickly, and Lily was the first to produce a successful hex on her dummy. Ridrick, however, could not get it right. Lily went over to help him, as she had already practiced enough for the day.
"Ridrick, just hold your wrist a little steadier," she said, reaching for his wrist to show him the position.
"I'll do it on my own, Lily!" he shouted, shoving her backwards. She stumbled and almost fell, but caught herself on a table behind her. She stared at him, stunned. He had just pushed her. Worse yet, everyone was now staring at her.
"Oh my gosh, Lily, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to push you! I just forget how light you are sometimes," Ridrick said, looking worried. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Lily told him. "Just don't be so rough. I'm not as big as your friends are, so don't push me around like I am."
"I won't, I really am sorry, Lily... So wanna show me how to do this bloody hex?" he asked, smiling at her.
"Yeah, sure," she agreed.
She took a quick glance around the room to see that everyone had gone back to hexing. Everyone except James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They stood, looking at her with worried expressions. Well, Sirius, Remus, and Peter looked worried. James looked furious. She quickly looked away and went back to helping Ridrick. By the end of the class, he had finally gotten it.
"You're such a genius, Lily!" he shouted happily.
"Thanks," she said, though she didn't smile. She just wanted to go up to the common room and think for a while.
"I'm gunna go get started on some homework," Lily said, turning and practically running to the tower.
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James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter walked up to the common room in a hurry. They were eager to discuss today's events in class with Lily and Ridrick. When they got up there however, they discovered Lily asleep on the couch. James had never seen anyone look so peaceful. He just stood, watching her hair glimmer in the firelight.
"Staring is rude, Prongs. Now let's get up to our dormitory so we can talk about Lily and that idiot," Sirius said. James followed the three boys up where they all settled on James and Sirius' beds.
"So what the hell do we do?" James asked them.
"I don't think there's much we can do besides watch out for her," Remus said reasonably.
"But I can't just sit there and watch him treat her like that!" James practically shouted. "I was about ready to hex the git today!"
"Wouldn't do anything but make Lily angry with you," Sirius said.
"I know, that's why I didn't," James said, scowling.
"So what should we do?" Peter asked.
"Maybe someone should talk to her," Sirius suggested. Simultaneously, Peter, James, and Sirius looked at Remus.
"Oh no, not me!" Remus exclaimed.
"You have to! She would get mad at Sirius and I! And it would be weird if Wormtail did because they hardly ever talk. If you did, she would just think you're being a concerned friend. Come on, please?" James pleaded.
"Ugh, fine," Remus agreed. "I'll go see if she's awake."
They all stayed silent for a minute. When Remus did not come right back up, the three remaining friends silently crept down the stairs to hear Remus and Lily.
"Remus, don't worry about me. I can handle it."
"I'm just concerned about you, Lily. You never take any bull from anyone, but this guy was rude to you and you just took it. You didn't even fight back."
"I know," Lily said sadly, "It's just... He never acted like that before. All summer we got along great, but now... I don't know what's changed."
"People change, Lily. I don't know what changed Ridrick, but I do know that he has a bad temper and he doesn't seem to be able to control it. So just be careful, okay?"
"Now you sound like Potter," Lily said laughing. James stiffened at the mention of his name.
"He's just trying to protect you, as we all are," Remus replied.
"Yeah, I know," Lily said. James thought he heard Remus get up.
"Hey, Remus?" Lily said suddenly.
"Yeah?" She was silent a moment.
"Never mind," she said. James heard footsteps leaving the common room and figured they must belong to Lily. Remus came around the corner a second later.
"I should have known you would be here," he said to his three eavesdropping friends. They laughed and headed back upstairs.
By the time the four got to the Great Hall the next morning, Lily, Alice, and Frank were already sitting with four open seats next to them. James chose the one next to Lily. She only glanced at him before looking back at her food. She seemed uncharacteristically quiet.
"Everything okay?" James asked her.
"Yeah," she relied, quietly.
"You sure?" She only nodded her head in return. James was not convinced.
"I know something that will cheer you up!" James whispered excitedly. He took out his wand and silently flicked it over at Sirius' food. Lily looked like she was about to ask a question, but James just put his finger to his lips indicating that she should be quiet. James and Lily watched as Sirius took a bite. Seconds later Sirius' nose began to grow.
"Aahhhh!" Sirius shouted, jumping from his seat. "My nose!" The whole Great Hall erupted into laughter. James was laughing so hard he could barely breathe, and was pleased to see that Lily was trying to hide her laughter by covering her mouth with her hand.
"You did this!" Sirius shouted at James.
"Sorry, mate. Lily needed cheering up!" James replied happily.
"I had nothing to do with this!" Lily exclaimed, punching James in the arm, but still laughing.
"I'll get you back, Prongs!"
"Then its war," James said much too happily.
"Fix it!" Sirius shouted. James lazily flicked his wand at Sirius and his nose returned to normal size.
"Never a dull moment at this table, eh?" a voice said from behind James. He turned around to find Ridrick standing there, with his hand on Lily's shoulder. Angrily, he looked away.
"Nope, we love a good hex now and then. Especially to people who deserve it," Sirius said, all trace of laughter and games gone from his voice. He hadn't broken eye contact with Ridrick since he had come to the table.
"Right," Ridrick said, looking away from Sirius. James was being unusually quiet, just trying to focus on not doing anything he would regret.
"Well, Lily, are you ready to go?" Lily seemed hesitant.
"Well, I haven't quite finished eating yet. But I don't want to hold you up. I'll just walk to class with these guys," she said slowly.
"Ok..." Ridrick said, somewhat angrily. He stalked away. Lily looked relieved.
"Good for you," Sirius said. Lily just nodded.
"Let's walk to class," Remus suggested a few minutes later. As they walked, James repeatedly glanced at Lily. She seemed upset. Before he had the chance to ask her what was wrong, they arrived in Astronomy, and Lily quickly walked to her seat. James reluctantly took his and made a mental note to catch her after class.
The class passes by quickly, and James was out of his seat as soon it ended. Lily had her back turned, gathering her books, when he approached. As he was about to make his presence clear, she suddenly turned around. Lily smacked into his chest and James instinctually grabbed her waist so she wouldn't fall.
"Oh! Potter!" Lily said startled, taking a step back. James released his hold on her waist and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. He felt a blush creeping up his neck.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have come up behind you like that," he said, embarrassed.
"It's alright. Did you want to talk to me or something?" she asked, curiously.
"Oh, yeah. Just not here," he said, leaving her to decide where to go.
"Ok. Let's take a walk," she replied.
"Are you sure Ridrick won't mind?" He did not want to cause Ridrick to get angry again. She seemed to hesitate, but then shook her head and started walking. James followed. Once they were a good ways away from any crowds, they sat down against the wall.
"Lily, are you alright?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked, confused.
"Well... Ridrick..." Lily's face changed at the mention of her boyfriend's name.
"Oh."
"I'm guessing that means you aren't okay," James said. Lily did not reply, and looked away from him. He realized this was more serious than he had thought.
"Lily?" he called softly.
Finally, she turned to look at him. Never once through all the years of arguments, pranks, and her former best friend's betrayal had he ever seen Lily cry, but here she was, looking at him with tears in her eyes. James had the urge to take Lily in his arms and hide someplace where nothing could ever hurt her again. Instead, he reached his hand to her face and brushed away her tears with his thumb. She looked at him with an unreadable expression. Then she closed her eyes, and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. For a minute, James froze. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and relaxed. Slowly, he reached for Lily's hand. When she didn't resist, he entwined his fingers with hers. She sighed next to him, and James hoped it was not because of him.
"James..." she said, pulling her hand away and moving away from him. The sudden absence of her body heat left James cold and disappointed.
"Sorry," he mumbled, getting up. He knew he should leave before he did anything else he would regret. He began walking.
"Wait, James," she said. It was the use of his first name that made him stop. Lily had called him Potter since they first met. And now she had used his first name twice. He turned around and walked over to where she was standing. She looked at him with a pained expression.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"For what?" he asked. Surely she was not apologizing for what had just happened.
"For not realizing it before." She quickly kissed him on the cheek and ran around the corner before James had even moved. He had so many questions. Dumbly, James touched the spot Lily had kissed as though it might give him all the answers. He made his way to the common room slowly, in thought all the while.
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Lily had been so stupid. How could she not have figured it out sooner? It seemed so obvious now. James Potter loved her. All those times he had asked her out had been real and she had just shot him down without a thought. All those attention seeking pranks and jokes had not been to get anyone's attention, but hers. All the flirting, all the arguing, all the staring, the hostility on the train... It all made sense now. But Lily still didn't know how she felt about him. The pranking James-the one that hexed people for no reason, the one that made jokes at others expense, and had an arrogant attitude- didn't have a chance with her. But the James she had seen today- the kind one, who without saying a word had made her feel better- could be someone she wanted to be with. If he could learn to control his wild side...
Lily paused in the corridor. Ridrick was coming straight towards her. And he looked furious. Ridrick was the only person Lily was truly frightened of. He had hit her yesterday, and though she desperately wanted to, she was afraid to break up with him. She turned the other way and bolted. She had to get to the common room! It was the only safe place. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her wrist and held on. The force of the sudden stop made Lily fall backwards, knocking the wind out of her. Ridrick loomed above her.
"You are mine, Lily Evans," he sneered. "Don't ever forget that. If you try to leave, I will make your life miserable until you are begging me to take you back."
With that, he walked away, leaving Lily crying, laying on the cold hard floor, still trying to catch her breath. After what seemed like an eternity, Lily got up. She walked to the common room with her head down, so no one would notice her red-rimmed eyes. She managed to get into the common room without a disturbance, but sitting on the couch were James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. All four looked up when she entered the room. James sprung up and walked quickly over to her.
"Lily I-"
"Not now, Potter!" she practically shouted at him, and ran towards her dormitory. He looked hurt, but ran after her anyway.
"Lily!"
He lunged for her wrist, causing Lily to cry out in pain and jerk her wrist back. Stunned, he let go immediately. She looked up at him with fresh tears in her eyes. The other three boys had gathered around her as well. James gingerly took hold of Lily's hand and held it up, pushing her sleeve back with his other hand. There, on her swollen wrist, was a bruise in the shape of a hand. Lily hadn't realized how bad the state of her wrist had been. Tears spilled down her face.
"Lily..." James said, looking stricken. Lily fell into James' chest, sobbing.
"James, help me." Lily felt James' arms snake around her waist, and for the first time since she had come to Hogwarts this year, she felt safe.
"Don't worry, Lily. I'll take care of it for you. You won't have to worry about him ever again. Now, let's get your wrist healed up, yeah?"
James led Lily over to the couch, where Remus was waiting with his wand out.
"Remus can heal anything. He'll have your wrist back to normal in no time," Sirius said, encouragingly. Lily just nodded and Remus went to work. Sirius had been right; in less than a minute, her wrist was fully healed.
"Thanks, Remus," Lily mumbled.
"No problem," he replied, smiling. "I think it's time for me to get some sleep, though." Remus headed upstairs. Sirius, looked between James and Lily, and made a show of yawning.
"I think Remus has the right idea. Come on Wormtail," he said, dragging Peter upstairs with him. Once they were out of sight, Lily laughed.
"Subtlety isn't exactly his thing, is it?" Lily asked, looking at James with a soft smile. James grinned back.
"Not at all." A silence passed for a few moments, until James quietly spoke.
"Lily… Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah?"
"About earlier… What did you mean when you said you were sorry for not realizing it sooner?" Lily was quiet.
"I'm sorry for not realizing that you loved me," she said softly, looking him in the eyes. She could see his face turn redder by the second. He looked down at his shoes.
"Oh."
"If I had known earlier…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say. If she had known earlier, she wasn't sure what would have happened. Maybe nothing would have changed.
"Did I ever have a chance?" he asked, still looking down.
"Before this year, my answer would have been an outstanding no. But, a lot of things have changed this year. You've changed." He looked up at her, and the hope in his eyes was almost heart breaking.
"So, I do have a chance?" She let out a huff of frustration, and stood up.
"James, I just don't know right now! You've shown me a side of you that I didn't even realize existed. You have been so kind and calm and all around more mature these past few days. But I need to know that you can be mature all the time, not just occasionally."
"I can be mature!" James said, standing up and facing her.
"Saying it and actually doing it are two completely different things, James. This isn't something you can just tell me. I need to see you be mature. Show me that you can stop hexing everyone that mildly annoys you. Show me that when you pull a prank, it won't hurt anyone. Show me that this kindness you have won't go away tomorrow, or the next day."
Lily looked at him, and was startled by the look on his face. James took her hands, and looked into her eyes with pure determination.
"I will show you," he said. He kissed the top of her hands, and let them drop. James gave her one final look, and then went upstairs. Lily did the same.