The seconds ticked by in agony as help seemed to fall further away. His head lulled to the side in my lap and his skin clicked a shade paler than it already was. I desperately ran my hands through his blond hair, the tears sliding down my face and falling onto his own. "Please, oh my god, please…" I whimpered over and over again as my grip on his hair tightened, "please don't leave me, not again."
His chest, draped in red fabric, rose and fell in shallow breaths, growing further apart as the seconds ticked by. The seconds he used to laugh at as he bended them to his will, the seconds he foolishly wasted being reckless and ironic. Now the seconds laughed in his face as he slipped away, the red spilling endlessly out of the cut across his throat. His favorite color had always been red.
My hands shook uncontrollably as I reached for his shades. The shades that never left his face because of how embarrassed he was about his eyes, and because they were a present from his best friend. I carefully set them down next to his head and I looked closely at his closed eyelids. "Please," I whispered, leaning down next to his ear, "don't go. Come back to me, please." My voice reflected the desperation in my words as I squeezed his head a little tighter. I leant down to rest my forehead on his and I closed my eyes. They were coming to help, they had to be close.
I heard something and picked up my head, his lips tried to move but nothing came out. His eyelids fluttered open and I stared at the deep red iris'. "Oh, Dave, my Dave, I love you so, so much," I barely got it out before another sob shook my body. My eyes squeezed shut and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
My lips met his instinctively and I kissed his barely moving form, the tip of his nose, and it had to be a hundred pecks on his lips. "You'll be okay, just hold on," my voice cracked as more tears slid down my face. He looked up at me and his lips moved again but still nothing came out. His eyes showed despair that he couldn't get out his last words as he continued trying desperately to make a sound. I watched his lips make formations as the blood trickled out of the corner and I slowly put the pieces together. Let me go. "No, no, no, Dave, p-please don't say that, you're going to be fine!" I exclaimed running my fingers through his hair again.
Tears in the corners of his eyes, he made one more attempt at speaking, in vain. His eyelids fluttered like he was tired. He looked up at me desperately as he made the movement again. I watched again as the movements of his blood stained lips grew slower. I love you.
"I love you too, Dave. I love you so much, just, please-" my voice cut off as the lump in my throat grew to a dangerous size. The corners of his mouth curved up as his eyes closed, and then his face returned to a stoic expression as his chest fell again. But it didn't pull in another breath.
"D-Dave? Dave just open your eyes," nothing happened. "Oh my god, Dave! Please just breathe! Dave!" I screamed at his lifeless form, fisting my hands in his hair as I leaned over. I kissed his forehead lovingly, like a simple touch could bring him back to life.
Nothing happened.
My own shrieks filled my ears and echoed off every surface in the room. I rocked back and forth as I continued to kiss every inch of his face. Sobs ripped themselves from my throat as I cried and rocked and continued to grip him harder. You can't leave me like this. I wrapped my arms around his head and held it closer to mine, my arm quickly becoming covered in the blood that used to seep from his neck wound.
There was a crashing sound as the two people they had been waiting for bounded into the room. I saw them running in out of the corner of my eye, John screaming, "Jade! We're here…" He trailed off quietly as he saw my form bent over his best friend's body. Rose took action and sped over to the two of us. She looked hopeful but her body slumped when she saw the state he was in and put a hand on his chest, but it didn't matter. Not even she could bring back someone from the dead.
John came over more quietly and slowly, taking in Dave lifeless body inch by inch as Rose began looking desperate as she searched her mind for something, anything that could help. When she came up short, she leaned back on her heels and looked up at John, who stared back at her until they both looked at me.
"What are you doing?" I asked as I wiped my nose, "do something." They had the same look, the same I'm so sorry look. "No, just do something," I said as I felt another sob coming, "DO SOMETHING!" I screamed at them and they just retreated to the side of the room and hugged each other closely. You will never hug Dave like that ever again, echoed through my mind. I eased his head off of my lap and slowly stood, my hair falling from its loose bun as I rolled up. My body protested and I almost fell over again. John raced to my side to help me stay upright, but I shoved him off of me. He was too warm, too alive.
"Jade," his own voice cracked with tears as Rose just stood idly by, watching. "Jade, please, we all did everything we could-"
"No!" I screeched at him, "if we had done everything… If I had done everything we could, he wouldn't be DEAD right now!" Another sob almost threw me to my knees as I looked at them through blurry eyes.
Rose stepped closer slowly, "Jade, this isn't your fault. There is no way you could've saved him. Not from a wound like that."
I stamped my foot and looked at them both accusingly. "Neither of you have anything to say to me. NOTHING," I screamed as I took off through the exit.
"Jade!" I heard John cry as I took off in a wobbly sprint. "No, Rose! We have to go get her!" I heard, although it sounded far off.
My feet flew across the pavement that glittered with puddles of rain. I had no idea where I was running but I couldn't stop. I could never stop running from that room, that lifeless body.
I tripped and fell, my hair flying out as my face hit the pavement. The pain felt good, the pain felt nice. The pain felt right. I picked myself up and I knew what I had to do, what I needed to do.
I don't remember coming home but I remember falling through the rooms in the dark as I made my way to the bathroom. I fell to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. I tucked my head down in between my chest and my knees as it became harder to breath. The walls began closing in around me and I started rocking back and forth. My breathing was shallow as I realized what I was about to do. You can't live without him.
My hand closed around the disposable razer that rested on the corner of my bathtub. I pried out one of the silver slivers as the blood ran down my fingers and pooled in my palm. It was so close to being over, so close to being with him again.
It happened so quickly and swiftly, I was fading out fast. I watched the blood pool around my hands and stain the skin there. I watched it closely as my eyes began to feel heavier. The blood was beautiful and the pain felt wonderful to my aching heart.
"Jade!" She heard someone scream from outside her apartment as they banged on the door. "Jade, open the door!" It was her brother, come to say goodbye. I heard a discussion briefly before the banging continued. It sounded like they were trying to break down the door. It didn't matter, they were too late anyway. The color in the corners of my eyes faded as I looked lovingly at the blood seeping out of me quickly.
My head lulled to the side as I leaned further back against the tub, my eyes fluttering closed. I forced them back open as the door burst and John and Rose stormed in. "Jade! Jade, where are you?!" John cried and they both searched around desperately. I heard the door to the bathroom open and then the light turned on. Rose screamed when she saw me and dropped to her knees. My eyes started to close again but I had to watch them as they saw me. Red and pale and dying before their eyes.
"Jade, please no, what have you done?" Rose and John's voices melded together as they watched the pools of blood grow.
"It's okay," I said softly, "I'm going to be with him now." My voice sounded almost dreamy astoundingly and the tears slid down my face again. "You two can be happy together, promise me."
John opened his mouth and then closed it as tears slid down from his puffy, red eyes. "Of course, Jade. We promise." Rose didn't sound like Rose. Her voice sounded muffled and far-off. The end was near.
I smiled and let my eyes drift closed as I took one last peek at the blood. I was happy because after all…
Red was his favorite color.
Hey everyone!
Now that's its not one in the morning I went through and fixed a lot of mistakes. Feel free to warn me about anymore.
I hope you enjoyed it even though I cried the whole time I wrote it, maybe you did too?
Anyway, thanks for reading and maybe you could drop me a review? I'd really appreciate it!
-Emmaline-Falling